Oh, let's see... A, C, phlegm...

July 1, 2008 7:18 AM

Achmed the Dead Terrorist. On YouBoob.

More can be found at Je-fuh-fuh. DUNHAAAAM. dot-cooooom.

posted by kldickson (36 comments total)

Don't quit your day woozle, Jeff.
posted by cog_nate at 7:24 AM on July 1

I hate the Metafilter tendency to jump into things as quickly as possible, just so that you can be the first to slag something off with you oh-so-superior snark.

So believe me, it pains me when I say this: that was shit.
posted by flashboy at 7:26 AM on July 1 [7 favorites]

Ji-had me at hello!

Ah, memories of high school. Crazy Achmed's Discount Terrorist Emporium: We put the fun in fundamentalism!
posted by Eideteker at 7:31 AM on July 1

Oh, god. The gay bar where I hang out sometimes will play very long clips of this in between music videos. Not funny at all. It doesn't get any funnier at ten million decibels, which is how loud they usually play it.
posted by sevenyearlurk at 7:36 AM on July 1 [1 favorite]

For the record, I do like (most of) Jeff Dunham's work. But this, not so much.
posted by cog_nate at 7:37 AM on July 1

Soooo... if you'r a bad enough ventriloquist that you manifestly can't do "m" -- and I know, "m" is hard, what with the lips pressed together and all -- why would you name your character "Achmed" and then have to make him say "Achned" during the long bit you do about his name? Fail.
posted by The Bellman at 7:38 AM on July 1

Oh, man, I don't even have to click on this to know it sucks.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 7:38 AM on July 1

Oh dear. He even did the 'what was the last thing that went through your mind?' joke....
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 7:38 AM on July 1

The jalapeno is better.

On a steek.
posted by yhbc at 7:39 AM on July 1

Seeing this post on Metafilter is kind of like finding the usually clean stall in the men's room on office floor soaked in piss.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:43 AM on July 1 [8 favorites]

Oh, man, I don't even have to click on this to know it sucks.

Oh yeah? Well I didn't even have to read the comments to know it sucks. I didn't even have to read the FPP! I just ambled over near my computer and without even glancing at it said to myself, "wait a minute...something's off here." It's true. I did that.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 7:44 AM on July 1

I've forced myself to sit through about 30-45 minutes of this guy's "comedy" routine. The sad thing is that Achmed is perhaps the high point. The guy is so unfunny it hurts my feelings, and the crowds of morons who laugh and cheer at him make me weep for the future of humanity.
posted by Saxon Kane at 7:47 AM on July 1

Also, Ahmed is not spelled using a "kha", it's a hard "ha". Stupid xenophobic stand up comedians can't detect sounds outside of their native language set.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:47 AM on July 1

I just ambled over near my computer and without even glancing at it said to myself, "wait a minute...something's off here." It's true. I did that.

And you were dead right, too. That's some talent you have there.
posted by afx237vi at 7:51 AM on July 1

Its not racism. It's puppet racism.
posted by Jofus at 7:51 AM on July 1 [1 favorite]

Seeing this post on Metafilter is kind of like finding the usually clean stall in the men's room on office floor soaked in piss.

And then you realize you're in the ladies.
posted by three blind mice at 7:56 AM on July 1

SILENCE!!!!!

I KILL YOU !!!!!
posted by Pendragon at 8:02 AM on July 1

Dude.
posted by Mister_A at 8:02 AM on July 1

I think there's a form of mass hysteria that takes over a crowd like the one laughing at this guy's jokes. They're expressing some kind of a combination of, "Shit, I paid for this ticket, I'd better think this is funny," and, "Well, everyone else is laughing, it must be funny."

That or they're all the type of people who enjoy Larry the Cable Guy's "comedy" and wouldn't know vapidly unfunny, casually racist, hackneyed riffing from humor if they were given a brochure.

Also - Ventriloquists? Still?
posted by Pecinpah at 8:06 AM on July 1 [1 favorite]

I saw a ton of him recently on Comedy Central, like it was Jeff Dunham Week or something. I sat listlessly through it because it was 3AM and there was nothing else on. It was just barely entertaining.

...Wait, that indicts me more than it does Jeff Dunham...

Part (Most) of me couldn't believe he was still around, and playing to packed theaters and taping hour-long specials. But part (a little) of me wants to defend the lawn of Dunham's only redeeming dummy, Walter the cranky old fart.
posted by not_on_display at 8:06 AM on July 1

BUHLETED
posted by regicide is good for you at 8:08 AM on July 1 [1 favorite]

Flagged as "you might be a redneck if".
posted by interrobang at 8:08 AM on July 1 [1 favorite]

This post is a good idea. Having a place to dump one's bile leaves the other threads free to be more civil.
posted by DU at 8:19 AM on July 1

Wow. Brutal.
posted by dobbs at 8:24 AM on July 1

Hey yeah, it's kind of like that box of baking soda in the fridge, except the fridge is Metafilter, and the box is filled with racism.
posted by regicide is good for you at 8:26 AM on July 1 [1 favorite]

why would you name your character "Achmed"

When that's the only "muslim" name you can come up with your options are limited. Still, its better than Nuhammed.
posted by Pollomacho at 8:32 AM on July 1

I admit that Peanut, Melvin, and that new racist man-whore puppet do, indeed, suck.

There are bits of Achmed and Jose Jalapeno 'On a Steek' that are amusing, if only endearingly, and Walter is actually pretty funny.
posted by kldickson at 8:33 AM on July 1

Pretty poor for an FPP.
Maybe some of the naysayers should post links to things they find funny so we can broaden our comedic horizons.
But this is a lame FPP for sure.
posted by a3matrix at 8:34 AM on July 1

why would you name your character "Achmed"

So you can do the phlegm joke!

and then have to make him say "Achned" during the long bit you do about his name?

Because you can still do the phlegm joke!
posted by Armitage Shanks at 8:36 AM on July 1 [1 favorite]

I like the Achmed schtick. The rest, not so much.
posted by five fresh fish at 8:36 AM on July 1

Peanut, Melvin, and that new racist man-whore puppet ...

Oh, you're talking about that guy? Damn. I never got what the appeal was in the first place.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:38 AM on July 1

flagged as ignorant
posted by porn in the woods at 8:43 AM on July 1

I found it quite amusing when I saw it some weeks ago. I loved the "SILENCE, I KILL YOU" bit.

However, I didn't like the other routines.
posted by Memo at 8:46 AM on July 1

I laugh at Jeff Dunham's stuff every time I run across it on Comedy Central, including Achmed, and the Jalapeno, and the woozle, and whatever. But I don't blame people who don't care for it as "destination-comedy." Even if the destination is reached by clicking a YouTube link.
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 8:46 AM on July 1

Tough crowd, tough crowd.
posted by The Straightener at 8:48 AM on July 1

Jofus : Its not racism. It's puppet racism.

But in fairness, it might be a racist stereotype, but it's also the truth: puppets are just lazy. If you don't stand right next to them all the time, they'll just lay around all day doing nothing.
posted by quin at 8:51 AM on July 1 [4 favorites]