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"Unenjoyably Difficult!" - Gamepro
July 1, 2008 2:47 PM   Subscribe

"We're not building a themed adventure for Mega Man; just kill him!" Where does Mega Man's nemesis get his wonderful toys? How much does it cost to construct big spikes? Can one add ice blocks to the magnet level without violating a building code? It's not easy being in the Dr. Wily business.
posted by Servo5678 (43 comments total) 41 users marked this as a favorite

 
Win.
posted by kableh at 2:54 PM on July 1, 2008


How much does it cost to construct big spikes?

Usually takes me three G&Ts and hot perfumed breath on my ear. Wait, what?
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:56 PM on July 1, 2008 [2 favorites]


Time to plug the best Mega Man related band ever... The Protomen. Awesome concept band that sings a rock opera about Mega Man.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 2:57 PM on July 1, 2008


This. Is. Awesome.
posted by Dark Messiah at 3:03 PM on July 1, 2008


Usually takes me three G&Ts and hot perfumed breath on my ear. Wait, what?

Finally, someone who understands my insatiable lust for perfume-drinking women!
posted by Dark Messiah at 3:17 PM on July 1, 2008 [3 favorites]


Mary Dellamorte's plug is a bit shameless and out of place, but I condone it completely.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 3:18 PM on July 1, 2008


Awesome.
posted by boo_radley at 3:21 PM on July 1, 2008


That was fucking fantastic.
posted by Caduceus at 3:48 PM on July 1, 2008


Finally, someone who understands my insatiable lust for perfume-drinking women!

Yeah, that wasn't a great string of words on my part. But then, perfume is like 180 proof.
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:50 PM on July 1, 2008


Sterling!
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 4:09 PM on July 1, 2008


Ha! That was good. Thanks.
posted by spiderskull at 4:11 PM on July 1, 2008


Yes, the Mega Man universe has always raised far more questions than it answered For instance:

1. Accepting the idea that Megaman takes the powers of the bosses, and taking Greg's word for it that this is just the nature of the beast, is there any good reason for Wily to be building/commissioning robots which are all distinctly weak to another robot from the same line? Perhaps this could be a fail-safe built in by Dr. Wily to ensure that one singular robot could not try to supplant him, but still, you'd think that after a few goes at this he might attempt a different strategy.

2. Why doesn't Dr. Wily, a man presumably well-versed in the tenets of science, better track his data and learn from his mistakes? It makes sense for a brilliant and creative inventor to check out whether, for some reason, a robot-surgeon-looking-thing who lives underwater might present more of a threat to Mega Man than a Giant Zippo Lighter in a fortress of fire - fire could melt Mega Man, for instance, but Water might short him out completely. These are things worth knowing. But once you've seen the dripping internist get so soundly trounced, with or without the use of metal blades, why assume that the problem was that he couldn't split in two, and didn't look oddly bird-like enough, and give up on the whole water thing entirely?

3. And why, when Gemini Man proved so fallible, would your next logical choice be a giant toad with the power to bring down rain? He doesn't short out when completely submerged! A little storm's just gonna piss him off.

4. Why, for that matter, not just keep tinkering around with your original Quick Man design, while shutting down the Flash Man assembly line altogether?

5. With all of his experience in this, between Dr. Light trusting him again, and Wily turning on Light, and Mega Man beating him, why can't Wily just let sleeping dogs lie?

6. Is it just some sort of obsessive personal vendetta?

7. Against a robot?

8. With robot names such as Wood Man, Junk Man, and of course Hard Man, are we to assume that maybe Mega Man knows something about Dr. Wily that Wily doesn't want Mega Man to share?

9. Why didn't Magnet Man just completely fuck up Mega Man's hard drive?

10. Or his own, for that matter?

11. And why waste all of that money on a magnetized, yet fully functional, artificially intelligent robot, instead of just letting Mega Man come to that final boss room and find nothing but super-powerfully magnetized kill-you-immediately spikes?

12. And what's up with Roll?

13. Is she his sister, or girlfriend, or what?

14. It's not... it's not... both, is it?

15. Does it really matter if they're robots, or is there just something wrong with me?

16. Are there many things wrong with me?
posted by Navelgazer at 4:12 PM on July 1, 2008 [38 favorites]


That was great.

I would've sworn that there was a Garbage Man, but apparently my memory is faulty.
posted by graventy at 4:12 PM on July 1, 2008


That was way funnier than it should have been.
posted by milarepa at 4:14 PM on July 1, 2008


I would've sworn that there was a Garbage Man, but apparently my memory is faulty.

Oddly enough, Dust Man from Mega Man IV was housed in a lair that looked like a trash dump, complete with compactors...
posted by Dark Messiah at 4:15 PM on July 1, 2008


Also, after seeing the Protomen posted again, I feel the need to link this earlier thread about Mega Man inspired music, which has tons of great bands mentioned in the comments.

Yes it's my own post. I see no reason to have a problem with that. I'm proud of it infact. Just call me Pride Man.

I kill you with a noxious gas called "Smug Cloud."

Thankfully for you all, I can be taken care of pretty easily with Comeuppance Man's weapon, which involves a banana peel and a popular girl laughing at you.
posted by Navelgazer at 4:28 PM on July 1, 2008 [1 favorite]


That is hands down the funniest shit I've seen in months.
posted by cashman at 4:47 PM on July 1, 2008


Am I right in thinking that in Japan, they've had contests to design Wily robots that then got put in games? Because, screw world peace or abolishing poverty, if all I contribute to this world is inventing a Megaman robot and a Pokemon that both become canon, I will die happy. Instantly.
posted by RokkitNite at 5:01 PM on July 1, 2008


This would have been a perfect answer to the AskMe I posted today.
posted by sourwookie at 5:06 PM on July 1, 2008


RokkitNite, I believe this should give you some of the information you're looking for.

And you may still have your chance (but probably not) as Mega Man 9, going back to the original series 2-D platforming roots, will be the first game released simultaneously for WiiWare, XBAL, and PSN.

(or only for Wiiware, depending on the source... probably only for Wiiware)
posted by Navelgazer at 5:09 PM on July 1, 2008


a giant toad with the power to bring down rain

In Toad Man's defense, the rain flush weapon does unleash acid rain.
posted by Servo5678 at 5:33 PM on July 1, 2008


Thank you. That was good laughs.
posted by rxrfrx at 5:42 PM on July 1, 2008


Exemplifies the principle that if you are going to make a single-link YouTube post, you make it good. Thanks for the Mega Man meta-laughs.
posted by silby at 5:48 PM on July 1, 2008


That was excellent. I wouldn't have thought the joke could be sustained for more than a minute, but they kept finding ways to make it fresh.
posted by grimmelm at 5:57 PM on July 1, 2008


I saw a suprisingly charming drawing on a site somewhere a few days ago (and it was on-model enough to suggest it was Official Capcom tm) of a happy Dr. Wily building one of the many grunt robot enemies from one of the levels. It got me to thinking about just why, WHY Wily goes through all the rigmarole each time.

The only answer I could come up with, one I think is supported by the drawing, is that he likes the process. Destroying Mega Man is the ultimate objective, but he enjoys building the levels and the robots. Mega Man destroying them all time after time isn't so much a setback, it's just clearing the boards for the next set of levels and robots.

It's his hobby, and might I add, a damn awesome one. When do we get to play as Dr. Wily?
posted by JHarris at 6:09 PM on July 1, 2008 [2 favorites]


One of my proudest moments as a young boy was figuring out the Megaman 2 password system so I could skip the level I couldn't beat.
posted by smackfu at 6:19 PM on July 1, 2008 [1 favorite]


I always wonder why the people who write these little videos can't find some actual old man for the old man's part, but that's just me being cantankerous. This was fun.
posted by davejay at 6:26 PM on July 1, 2008


When do we get to play as Dr. Wily?

Isn't there a game in which you design spiky wicked levels (within your budgetary constraints) in order to defeat NPC heroes? Surely there must be by now. I'd play it!
posted by Countess Elena at 6:40 PM on July 1, 2008


Twenty X-ty six!
posted by Rhaomi at 6:41 PM on July 1, 2008


Isn't there a game in which you design spiky wicked levels (within your budgetary constraints) in order to defeat NPC heroes? Surely there must be by now. I'd play it!

I don't know if you mean an actually megaman-related game or not but there was Tecmo's Deception, which is as you describe.
posted by puke & cry at 7:07 PM on July 1, 2008


DIAMOND MAN!?!??!
posted by Sticherbeast at 8:30 PM on July 1, 2008


Cut Man: We always called him Cunt Man. I'm glad the MMRNC didn't name him Scissor Man, because it wouldn't be very clever at all if I called a guy named Scissor Man "Cunt Man." It would just be crass.

Oh man, that takes me back. Whatever happened to Seanbaby, anyway?
posted by Ian A.T. at 8:34 PM on July 1, 2008 [1 favorite]


Countess Elena, you may be thinking of the Dungeon Keeper series.
posted by lumensimus at 8:40 PM on July 1, 2008


JHarris, you already can, albeit in a limited portable form. Mega Man: Powered Up, a remake of the original Mega Man, features a level editor. Levels can be shared online through the built-in infrastructure mode and at least one online forum.

(I haven't actually played it, but you guys are giving me a Megaman jones..)
posted by lumensimus at 8:47 PM on July 1, 2008


Am I right in thinking that in Japan, they've had contests to design Wily robots that then got put in games?

Yes, for every game from MM2 to MM8 - those are the names you see next to each boss during the credits sequence of those games. MM6 was an exception, because 2 of the bosses (Knight Man and Wind Man) were designed by American kids as part of a contest sponsored by Nintendo Power.

DIAMOND MAN!?!??!

Funnily enough, one of the newly-announced bosses for Mega Man 9 is Jewel Man. Someone's clearly on the right wavelength.
Along with Magma Man, Hornet Man, Concrete Man, Plug Man, Tornado Man, Galaxy Man, and Splash Woman. Yes, I'm a Mega Man geek and not ashamed to admit it.
posted by wanderingmind at 9:03 PM on July 1, 2008


I would've sworn that there was a Garbage Man, but apparently my memory is faulty.

There was a Junk Man in MM7, whose level had little broken bits of machinery you could reactivate by hitting them with the lightning weapon.
Okay, that's enough.
posted by wanderingmind at 9:07 PM on July 1, 2008


This is excellent.
posted by Kwine at 9:38 PM on July 1, 2008


There was a Junk Man in MM7, whose level had little broken bits of machinery you could reactivate by hitting them with the lightning weapon.

Damn, I forgot about him... Then again, my heart was crushed when I didn't win the Nintendo Power contest to create a Mega Man boss. I need to dig out that old edition; the follow-up included some of the ideas that didn't make it. Ah, the good old days.
posted by Dark Messiah at 10:00 PM on July 1, 2008


This was funny, Normally I don't like videogame humor on the internet because so much of it is "hey remember this." This was really well crafted with actual jokes and I'm glad I watched.
posted by I Foody at 7:13 AM on July 2, 2008


Countess Elena- There's something like it over here. (Scroll down to "Lock and Key".) You pretty much play the guy that designs the dungeon the hero has to get through, and then actively try to unleash the traps on him. It's all text-based (like Return to Zork or Planetfall). It's made by Adam Cadre who doesn't fail to sweep Interactive Fiction awards, and hella fun.
posted by griphus at 10:49 AM on July 2, 2008


Addendum to above: There's also a PS2 game where you set traps. The name escapes me and my google-fu is failing. Maybe someone else remembers? It's Japanese and the character design is anime-style. And the case design is purplish.
posted by griphus at 10:53 AM on July 2, 2008


One of these, Griphus?
posted by wanderingmind at 11:54 PM on July 2, 2008


I am obviously a huge nerd for laughing at this.
posted by ph00dz at 6:15 AM on July 3, 2008


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