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Iranian Photoshoping Skills
July 10, 2008 7:50 AM   Subscribe

In response to Israel's show of might, Iran tested long range missiles capable of hitting Israel and other U.S. targets in the region. Was the image AFP used photoshopped?
posted by gman (78 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

 
So Israel is one of these "U.S. targets"?
posted by beerbajay at 7:52 AM on July 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


So Israel is one of these "U.S. targets"?

It isn't?
posted by DU at 7:55 AM on July 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Was it PhotoShopped? Yes.

What did I win?
posted by grabbingsand at 7:58 AM on July 10, 2008


I could tell by the pixels.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:01 AM on July 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


If you can't trust official Iranian Governmental communications, what can you trust?
posted by Mister_A at 8:01 AM on July 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


The Crusades go on, decreeded by Pope Exxon the Ruthless.
posted by aiq at 8:02 AM on July 10, 2008 [4 favorites]


If you can't trust official Iranian Governmental communications, what can you trust?

FOX.
posted by gman at 8:03 AM on July 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Oh dear, a military organisation releases photos retouched to make it look mightier than it is. Never happened before...
posted by Skeptic at 8:05 AM on July 10, 2008


I'm not sure a radical theocracy with 3 missiles + Photoshop is really any less mighty than a radical theocracy with 4 missiles.
posted by DU at 8:06 AM on July 10, 2008 [3 favorites]


I'm not sure a radical theocracy with 3 missiles + Photoshop is really any less mighty...

Actually they're much scarier. Even if you take out their missile facilities, they can just clone more of them!
posted by rokusan at 8:09 AM on July 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


I'm no expert, but I can plainly see that that image was not photoshopped. In the 1ST IMAGE there ARE 4 MISSILES. In the 2ND IMAGE there ARE 3 MISSILES. Where did the MISSILE go? OR did they just make up a MISSILE out of MAGIC. Also, you'll note that there is A WHITE TRUCK in one image and NO WHITE TRUCK in the other image. You TERRORISTS will stop at nothing to ACHIEVE your DEVIL agendas on the (w)orld.

THIS POST reminds me of the time I was in HEATHROW AIRPORT with my canister of LIQUID STABILIZED OXYGEN. The MAN took my OXYGEN and....
posted by Debaser626 at 8:11 AM on July 10, 2008 [7 favorites]


The undoctored image is compositionally far more satisfying.
posted by fire&wings at 8:12 AM on July 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


I hear Iran may have acquired LOLCAT technology, from the Black Market.
posted by stifford at 8:13 AM on July 10, 2008 [3 favorites]


I saw one description which said "Iran now has missiles that are capable of hitting all of Israel." Seems kind of silly to make a missile that only gets halfway across Israel... it's not that big a country.
posted by smackfu at 8:15 AM on July 10, 2008


Shahab is a cool name, though. What does it mean? Is it named after the inventor, Joe Shahab?
posted by Mister_A at 8:16 AM on July 10, 2008


Yup. Shopped. BFD. They're wagging their dick and realized it looked a bit small in the real pic. 3 missiles becomes 4 missiles...what's the difference? They're still missiles. Old-tech, to be sure, but still missiles.

In other news, Israel already has nukes and capable missiles and has shown a willingness to preemptively attack other nations.

Hell, if I were the target of all the US/Israel saber-rattling, I'd sure as hell rattle back as much as I could, too.
posted by Thorzdad at 8:20 AM on July 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


They haven't learned their lesson yet, and have released yet another doctored photo.
posted by Mister_A at 8:21 AM on July 10, 2008 [10 favorites]


Shahab is a cool name, though. What does it mean?

It's Farsi for "comet" or "falling star".
posted by rokusan at 8:25 AM on July 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Mister_A, shahab means a meteor or shooting star in Farsi.
posted by jedicus at 8:26 AM on July 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


If you look closer, you can see Evil Bert photoshopped onto one of the copied missiles.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:26 AM on July 10, 2008


Curses!
posted by jedicus at 8:26 AM on July 10, 2008


Only Jewish people will get this joke:

Looks like the Iranians gave us a taste of Kitsch-shahab!
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 8:31 AM on July 10, 2008


The missiles in the altered photo also have clearer skin and larger breasts.
posted by brain_drain at 8:32 AM on July 10, 2008 [6 favorites]


Actually, the guess is that it was photoshopped to block out a missle that apparently malfunctioned. Presumably they didn't want to highlight the fact that 25% of their missles failed.
posted by pardonyou? at 8:33 AM on July 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


On a serious note, to what extent does the world now think they are "photoshopping" their broader nuclear intent(s)?
posted by punkfloyd at 8:35 AM on July 10, 2008


Only Jewish people will get this joke:

Is it a pun on shish kebab?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:37 AM on July 10, 2008


Presumably they didn't want to highlight the fact that 25% of their missles failed.

25% of missiles on 9/11 failed to hit the target, too. it was still a pretty successful operation.
posted by matteo at 8:37 AM on July 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


25% of missiles on 9/11 failed to hit the target, too. it was still a pretty successful operation.

No doubt, but not the point. This whole exercise was a "flex my muscles" show of strength, and governments like Iran aren't really inclined to show any weakness, particularly if they can cover it up with a little photoshopping.
posted by pardonyou? at 8:41 AM on July 10, 2008


I saw one description which said "Iran now has missiles that are capable of hitting all of Israel." Seems kind of silly to make a missile that only gets halfway across Israel... it's not that big a country.

smackfu, is that a Mount of Olives pun? I've spent the last twenty minutes looking at maps and wikipedia articles trying to figure it out and I just have to know.
posted by stavrogin at 8:41 AM on July 10, 2008


Is it a pun on shish kebab?

No. Sorry if I'm being anal, but what I did was a "spoonerism" where one switches the first consonants of a word to make a humorous and, at times, absurd turn of phrase. See "cunning stunt".

And kitsch is a Yiddish word for "tasteless art", which I think applies. I only knew that because I dated a Jewish girl named Judith who used to fart in her sleep... a lot.
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 8:42 AM on July 10, 2008


smackfu, is that a Mount of Olives pun?

I don't think so, but if it is, I take full credit.
posted by smackfu at 8:46 AM on July 10, 2008


Well, now I'm just confused.
posted by stavrogin at 8:48 AM on July 10, 2008


Dear Penatgon Officials,

I'm an art director and graphic designer, and I offer you my congratulations on your plans to begin another war. It's an exciting time for everyone.

I have almost two decades of experience in marketing and branding, and I have noticed you need a photo-retouching expert with extensive Photoshop skills as well as a marketing and branding consultant to help you produce the appropriate propaganda to convince Americans of your need to invade Iran and minimize the numbers of people who will oppose it. I can also help you effectively reach your target audiences, make your opposition and detractors look foolish, and I partner with public and media relations consultants who can refine and manage your messaging so your war receives the maximum amount of popularity and political support.

I have an extensive portfolio of marketing and photo-retouching work, and I look forward to working with you.
posted by optovox at 8:48 AM on July 10, 2008 [3 favorites]


Only Jewish people have heard of "shish-kebab" and "kitsch"? So I'm Jewish now? Oy!
posted by DU at 8:49 AM on July 10, 2008


Why isn't the press also noting that both Israel and a number of nations have anti-missle defenses that have been tested and can knock that photoshopped stuff out? Why would Iran try to send a muissle to Israel when israel has nukes that can be sent in return?
posted by Postroad at 8:51 AM on July 10, 2008


is that a Mount of Olives pun?

No, this is: Why does Popeye hate Jesus? Because he went to Mount Olive.

I am twelve.
posted by kirkaracha at 8:53 AM on July 10, 2008 [4 favorites]


You and me both, DU. And we, the chosen people, could use maybe a funnier joke?
posted by Mister_A at 8:54 AM on July 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Well, thank you, Bathtub Bobsled, for enlightening us all.
posted by katillathehun at 9:00 AM on July 10, 2008


If four missiles is a more impressive than three, then they really should have gone big and photoshopped it to 100 missiles. Or a thousand. I would have had the entire skyline of the picture completely covered with ascending rockets at different heights.

You want a show of force? I'll show you force, we've got so many missiles, that they are banging into one another in the sky! You are going to have to fight in the shade when these bad boys are coming for you, because they are going to block out the motherfucking sun! We've got three missiles for each and every person and we can launch them all at once. Yeah, that's right, you better run...

Amateurs.
posted by quin at 9:02 AM on July 10, 2008 [4 favorites]


And kitsch is a Yiddish word for "tasteless art", which I think applies. I only knew that because I dated a Jewish girl named Judith who used to fart in her sleep... a lot.

Uh, I hate to be the one to break this to you but "kitsch" is an extremely common English word now. Yeah, we stole it from Yiddish. But that's no different than lasagna, algebra, or faux pas.
posted by Justinian at 9:17 AM on July 10, 2008


Or flammschmeisser. You forgot flammschmeisser.
posted by Mister_A at 9:19 AM on July 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


Dude, lasagna isn't from Yiddish.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:27 AM on July 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


But that's no different than lasagna, algebra, or faux pas.

My chef, math teacher and Miss Manners are going to be surprised...
posted by DU at 9:28 AM on July 10, 2008


Is it a yiddish word? Because I thought it's of german derivation, other than yiddish loan words that were assimilated into german and english. Like schlamassel or chuzpe.
posted by kolophon at 9:38 AM on July 10, 2008


No. Sorry if I'm being anal, but what I did was a "spoonerism" where one switches the first consonants of a word to make a humorous and, at times, absurd turn of phrase. See "cunning stunt".

And kitsch is a Yiddish word for "tasteless art", which I think applies. I only knew that because I dated a Jewish girl named Judith who used to fart in her sleep... a lot.


from merriam-webster online:
KITSCH
Main Entry: kitsch
Pronunciation: \╦łkich\
Function: noun
Etymology: German
Date: 1925
1 : something that appeals to popular or lowbrow taste and is often of poor quality
2 : a tacky or lowbrow quality or condition

There's also this one from Baudrillard, for what that's worth.

It's not necessarily Yiddish. Yiddish actually is an amalgam of several lanuguages, but maybe you knew that.

Also, I think this "anal" thing carries over into your life more than you may have suspected.

posted by sleepy pete at 9:38 AM on July 10, 2008


Kitsch, I mean.
posted by kolophon at 9:38 AM on July 10, 2008


ok, should have hit preview. What sleepy pete said.
posted by kolophon at 9:40 AM on July 10, 2008


Also, a spoonerism, being a play on words, is a (category of) pun.
posted by DU at 9:44 AM on July 10, 2008


You forgot flammschmeisser.

And blitzkrieg.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:47 AM on July 10, 2008


the thread seems to have goe astray like an Iranian missle but Susan Sontag has a great essay on kitsch.
posted by Postroad at 9:57 AM on July 10, 2008


While the U.S. uses "Shock & Awe" against its enemies, Iran prefers "Dodge & Burn."
posted by Flashman at 9:57 AM on July 10, 2008 [12 favorites]


And putz
posted by spicynuts at 9:59 AM on July 10, 2008


and doodlesack.
posted by Divine_Wino at 10:06 AM on July 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


But the fact that they did this only means Israel/the U.S. has even less of a reason to be worried *, as it further exposes the exercise as merely a chest-thumping photo-op.
Now, if Iran were to be testing long-range missiles in absolute secrecy, that might be a cause for concern.

*or, more likely, of an excuse to act even more beligerent
posted by Flashman at 10:07 AM on July 10, 2008


schmuck
posted by fingers_of_fire at 10:09 AM on July 10, 2008


It is not possible to test long-range missiles in absolute secrecy, unless you do it indoors.
posted by Mister_A at 10:09 AM on July 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Ask Metafilter on the etymology of the word kitsch

Oh, AskMefi. Is there anything you can't do?
posted by Justinian at 10:17 AM on July 10, 2008


You want a show of force? I'll show you force, we've got so many missiles, that they are banging into one another in the sky! You are going to have to fight in the shade when these bad boys are coming for you, because they are going to block out the motherfucking sun!

Then we'll fight in the shade! /sparta
posted by ryoshu at 10:28 AM on July 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


...capable of hitting Israel...

"Israel: I'd hit it."

--Iran
posted by ZenMasterThis at 10:33 AM on July 10, 2008


NY Times article about the attack of the clones (includes original photo at the bottom).

Attack of the phones!
posted by furtive at 10:43 AM on July 10, 2008


Doh, didn't realize the first link was in the post.
posted by furtive at 10:45 AM on July 10, 2008


Although not Yiddish, I always found the Israelis' nickname of "Khumeini" for this really annoying/prevalent brown beetle - to be fairly amusing.
posted by gman at 10:54 AM on July 10, 2008


Dear Penatgon Officials

I think you'll find that it's 'Dear Petnagon Officials'.

/good in-jokes get better with time
posted by asok at 11:04 AM on July 10, 2008


I wonder if Bush has time to start a war with Iran AND reinstate the draft before leaving office?
posted by aiq at 11:05 AM on July 10, 2008


Well, here is an image of the real missile test.
posted by dibblda at 11:05 AM on July 10, 2008 [4 favorites]


So I'm Jewish now? Oy!

Mazel tov! A mobile moile has been dispatched from the call center to collect your schmuck.
posted by Pollomacho at 11:13 AM on July 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


It's not necessarily Yiddish. Yiddish actually is an amalgam of several languages, but maybe you knew that.

Ah-ha!!! So Judith was farting in her sleep a lot auf Deutsch!
posted by katillathehun at 11:21 AM on July 10, 2008




Teehee, dibblda.
posted by tgyg at 11:25 AM on July 10, 2008


Well, Djinh, I could argue that we're discussing the dangerous unreliability of the media and the ease at which important information is fabricated, but we just spent a good portion of this thread discussing the etymology of "Kitsch." Which means you're still wrong. HAH HAH!
posted by katillathehun at 11:27 AM on July 10, 2008


How did a Flock of Seagulls single develop long range missiles?

...much less learn photoshop.
posted by clearly at 11:53 AM on July 10, 2008


When voting is enabled, I am voting for your entry, dibblda.
posted by clearly at 11:55 AM on July 10, 2008


Good one, Djinh ... we are amused.
posted by aldus_manutius at 11:59 AM on July 10, 2008


That guy in the truck in the real photo must be in really deep shit.

"Achmed, what the fuck is wrong with you? We said on se, on se, you know how to count to fucking se, right? Yek, do, se... well now you can learn it from the rubber fucking hose."
posted by Meatbomb at 2:10 PM on July 10, 2008


We said on se, on se, you know how to count to fucking se, right? Yek, do, se...

On a related note: Yek do se
posted by Pollomacho at 2:30 PM on July 10, 2008


I hear Iran may have acquired LOLCAT technology, from the Black Market.

indeed.
posted by gman at 3:20 PM on July 10, 2008


On a related note: Yek do se

Damnit! That last link was supposed to go here! Yo, strait outta Encino- wetin' chadores from Tehran to Tehrangeles!

That's what I get for trying to link blind at work!
posted by Pollomacho at 5:01 PM on July 10, 2008


Just wait until they get their MySpace page up and running.
posted by malocchio at 7:44 AM on July 11, 2008


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