I'M AWSOME
July 17, 2008 3:54 PM Subscribe
I wonder if I can get a job proofreading people's tattoos?
posted by Caduceus at 4:09 PM on July 17, 2008
posted by Caduceus at 4:09 PM on July 17, 2008
I thought the Beijing one was pretty frunky.
Also: "In loving memory of my wife" - what happened, did she turn into a zombie?
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:13 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
Also: "In loving memory of my wife" - what happened, did she turn into a zombie?
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:13 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
Those fucked-up portrait tattoos are at once grotesquely absurd and somehow poignant. It's like, he's trying so hard, and failing so completely.
posted by mr_roboto at 4:13 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by mr_roboto at 4:13 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
not one of these is funny or ironic or thought provoking in any way. they are just stupid and ugly and a little depressing.
posted by kitchenrat at 4:21 PM on July 17, 2008
posted by kitchenrat at 4:21 PM on July 17, 2008
I have a friend who got drunk in Tijuana and now has a tattoo which reads "Unleash the beash."
posted by hypersloth at 4:30 PM on July 17, 2008 [10 favorites]
posted by hypersloth at 4:30 PM on July 17, 2008 [10 favorites]
I wonder if the FRUNK tattoo is just the Chinese equivalent of the mangled hanzi/kanji tattoos that we see so often. I imagine that the Roman alphabet seems minimalist and futuristic to people who use logomorphic writing.
posted by Citizen Premier at 4:34 PM on July 17, 2008
posted by Citizen Premier at 4:34 PM on July 17, 2008
What thoughts do you expect to be provoked by a misspelled tattoo, kitchenrat?
posted by fire&wings at 4:34 PM on July 17, 2008
posted by fire&wings at 4:34 PM on July 17, 2008
Now I want a FRUNK tattoo
posted by aubilenon at 4:35 PM on July 17, 2008 [3 favorites]
posted by aubilenon at 4:35 PM on July 17, 2008 [3 favorites]
It's really all about this one
He's so upset with the system, he doesn't even bother with proper spelling. That's for squares, man!
posted by revmitcz at 4:36 PM on July 17, 2008
He's so upset with the system, he doesn't even bother with proper spelling. That's for squares, man!
posted by revmitcz at 4:36 PM on July 17, 2008
I wanted my tattoo of the Chinese character for 'unique' to be different than all the other tattoos of the Chinese character for 'unique,' so I had them spell it 'eunuch.'
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:39 PM on July 17, 2008 [10 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:39 PM on July 17, 2008 [10 favorites]
I wonder if I can get a job proofreading people's tattoos?
Only if you're okay with the Job Requirement that includes Getting Punched In The Face by an Angry And Drunk Tattoee.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:41 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
Only if you're okay with the Job Requirement that includes Getting Punched In The Face by an Angry And Drunk Tattoee.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:41 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
A rose by any other name still smells ass sweet.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:53 PM on July 17, 2008 [18 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:53 PM on July 17, 2008 [18 favorites]
So which is it?
Metafilter: not one of these is funny or ironic or thought provoking in any way.
Metafilter: they are just stupid and ugly and a little depressing.
posted by Gary at 4:56 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
Metafilter: not one of these is funny or ironic or thought provoking in any way.
Metafilter: they are just stupid and ugly and a little depressing.
posted by Gary at 4:56 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
Mawm
posted by kuujjuarapik at 5:00 PM on July 17, 2008
posted by kuujjuarapik at 5:00 PM on July 17, 2008
Nom
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:02 PM on July 17, 2008
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:02 PM on July 17, 2008
A rose by any other name still smells ass sweet sweat.
Pet peeve.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:06 PM on July 17, 2008 [9 favorites]
Pet peeve.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:06 PM on July 17, 2008 [9 favorites]
Now I want a FRUNK tattoo
Yes, hat would eunuchly reveal you to be an old soul with a young spirit.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:15 PM on July 17, 2008
Yes, hat would eunuchly reveal you to be an old soul with a young spirit.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:15 PM on July 17, 2008
they are just stupid and ugly and a little depressing.
Right, they are tattoos.
posted by DU at 5:19 PM on July 17, 2008 [5 favorites]
Right, they are tattoos.
posted by DU at 5:19 PM on July 17, 2008 [5 favorites]
There's a bit of cognitive dissonance for me when I see someone with an elaborate tattoo of a line from a Goo Goo Dolls song. Are you a badass or not? I can't tell.
posted by camcgee at 5:34 PM on July 17, 2008
posted by camcgee at 5:34 PM on July 17, 2008
What word were they going for with Frunk?
posted by roll truck roll at 5:44 PM on July 17, 2008
posted by roll truck roll at 5:44 PM on July 17, 2008
Man, you cynics shouldn't be so quick to juge people.
posted by yhbc at 5:57 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by yhbc at 5:57 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
What word were they going for with Frunk?
The Urban Dictionary has the following definition:
"to be so drunk that you do not no what is going on or what is happening. (fucking drunk)"
They just missed the subtleties of the translation - "old soul with a young spirit" is a misinterpretation of "an ageing wino with a bottle of moonshine"
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:58 PM on July 17, 2008 [12 favorites]
The Urban Dictionary has the following definition:
"to be so drunk that you do not no what is going on or what is happening. (fucking drunk)"
They just missed the subtleties of the translation - "old soul with a young spirit" is a misinterpretation of "an ageing wino with a bottle of moonshine"
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:58 PM on July 17, 2008 [12 favorites]
I think I genuinely feel bad for the guy who got the portrait tattoo in memory of his wife.
The misspelled ones, not as much.
posted by lullaby at 5:59 PM on July 17, 2008
The misspelled ones, not as much.
posted by lullaby at 5:59 PM on July 17, 2008
Actually, I love the idea of having "right arm" tattooed on your right arm. Saves confusion.
posted by arto at 6:25 PM on July 17, 2008
posted by arto at 6:25 PM on July 17, 2008
No, it says, "The Bart, The."
posted by starman at 6:31 PM on July 17, 2008 [5 favorites]
posted by starman at 6:31 PM on July 17, 2008 [5 favorites]
forty years ago, a friend of mine opened a chinese fortune cookie, had a good laugh and handed me the little piece of paper which read, "you will soon be visited by a long lost fiend". that's a hell of a lot funnier than than any of these dumbass tattoos.
posted by kitchenrat at 6:53 PM on July 17, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by kitchenrat at 6:53 PM on July 17, 2008 [2 favorites]
30-odd comments, and no "Frunk the Systsem"?
posted by wanderingmind at 7:09 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by wanderingmind at 7:09 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
I've seen quite a few tattoos, and quite a few photos of tattoos—and "FRUNK" looks fake to me.
Then again, I thought "EVERYONE ELESE DOES IT" looked fake, too, and the NYT did a story on it in 1999.
Obligatory link to Marisa DiMattia's fantastic Needled blog, where you can see what good work looks like.
posted by kwaller at 7:11 PM on July 17, 2008
Then again, I thought "EVERYONE ELESE DOES IT" looked fake, too, and the NYT did a story on it in 1999.
Obligatory link to Marisa DiMattia's fantastic Needled blog, where you can see what good work looks like.
posted by kwaller at 7:11 PM on July 17, 2008
"FRUNK" looks fake to me.You can't fake the frunk, kwaller.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 7:13 PM on July 17, 2008 [2 favorites]
Similar, but completely different: bad Amaraic, Hebrew and Syriac tattoos
posted by omarr at 7:16 PM on July 17, 2008
posted by omarr at 7:16 PM on July 17, 2008
In Fiasco's link, the lead paragraph says the guy is "ruing" his decision. And they're laughing at a typo in the guy's tattoo?
posted by Quietgal at 7:21 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by Quietgal at 7:21 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
I have a friend who got drunk in Tijuana and now has a tattoo which reads "Unleash the beash."
posted by hypersloth at 4:30 PM on July 17
Obviously, this is a sign that your friend should start a hiphop career as MC Beash.
posted by stifford at 7:26 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by hypersloth at 4:30 PM on July 17
Obviously, this is a sign that your friend should start a hiphop career as MC Beash.
posted by stifford at 7:26 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
My partner runs a spelling and grammar workshop, might link to that page on the website methinks.
"Why should you improve your spelling and grammar? Please click here."
posted by nudar at 8:00 PM on July 17, 2008
"Why should you improve your spelling and grammar? Please click here."
posted by nudar at 8:00 PM on July 17, 2008
What's the irony there, Quietgal? I don't get it.
posted by squarehead at 8:06 PM on July 17, 2008
posted by squarehead at 8:06 PM on July 17, 2008
This reminds me of our discussion a few days ago about tattoos being the province of people who didn't go to college.
posted by jayder at 8:07 PM on July 17, 2008
posted by jayder at 8:07 PM on July 17, 2008
Or maybe it's the tattoo artists that didn't go to college.
posted by puke & cry at 8:14 PM on July 17, 2008
posted by puke & cry at 8:14 PM on July 17, 2008
Squarehead, they misspelled "rueing".
Although, upon checking a dictionary, I see that "ruing" is also an accepted spelling. Guess it depends which version of English you speak; it looked funny to this Yank.
posted by Quietgal at 8:15 PM on July 17, 2008
Although, upon checking a dictionary, I see that "ruing" is also an accepted spelling. Guess it depends which version of English you speak; it looked funny to this Yank.
posted by Quietgal at 8:15 PM on July 17, 2008
jayder - how does that explain the explosion of tattoos on college kids between first and the end of second year?
posted by porpoise at 9:38 PM on July 17, 2008
posted by porpoise at 9:38 PM on July 17, 2008
True story: About 10 years ago, after a long night at the bars, a group of friends and I ended up a tattoo/piercing place. I'd had a particular tattoo idea in my head for some time which incorporated my first name into the design. I described my idea this youngish (I'd be surprised if he was out of his teens) guy who appeared to be some sort of apprentice artist for the shop. As he went to work on a mock up of the design, the owner of the shop took one look at me and basically said, "No way" based on how drunk I was. Turns out the guy did me a huge favor, since the design the kid came up with, while displaying legitimate artistic talent, misspelled my first name. For the record, my first name is Sam.
posted by The Gooch at 9:52 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by The Gooch at 9:52 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
I recently got 'Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?' tattooed on me. I think that I probably spent more time checking & double-checking the spelling of my request, the transfer paper, and the ink on my skin pre-tattoo than it took to get the tattoo carved.
This is why.
(ps. to du who comments: "they are just stupid and ugly and a little depressing."
Right, they are tattoos. - If you have nothing nice to say, no interesting insight, why post? Grind your axes elsewhere)
posted by Lemurrhea at 10:23 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
This is why.
(ps. to du who comments: "they are just stupid and ugly and a little depressing."
Right, they are tattoos. - If you have nothing nice to say, no interesting insight, why post? Grind your axes elsewhere)
posted by Lemurrhea at 10:23 PM on July 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
How could they miss the best one?
There were is mill, there is a road
(Apparently she's a Finnish Big Brother contestant, and she's gotten it covered/fixed since. Guessing she was going for "where there's a will, there's a way" but decided it would be better translated into Finnish and back to English. or something)
posted by Challahtronix at 11:06 PM on July 17, 2008
There were is mill, there is a road
(Apparently she's a Finnish Big Brother contestant, and she's gotten it covered/fixed since. Guessing she was going for "where there's a will, there's a way" but decided it would be better translated into Finnish and back to English. or something)
posted by Challahtronix at 11:06 PM on July 17, 2008
I think I genuinely feel bad for the guy who got the portrait tattoo in memory of his wife.
The misspelled ones, not as much.
I don't know, it could go either way depending on if it's the fault of the tattooed person or the fault of the tattoo artist. If someone walked into the tattoo shop and said "Hey, put a knife and 'Everyone else does it' on my back," and ends up with "elese," I think that's worth some empathy.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 12:53 AM on July 18, 2008
The misspelled ones, not as much.
I don't know, it could go either way depending on if it's the fault of the tattooed person or the fault of the tattoo artist. If someone walked into the tattoo shop and said "Hey, put a knife and 'Everyone else does it' on my back," and ends up with "elese," I think that's worth some empathy.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 12:53 AM on July 18, 2008
I once hung out with a girl who had decided to get a Grateful Dead dancing bear tattoo on her lower back right after she turned 18. She told the tattoo artist what she wanted and he got to work. When the tattoo was finished, he held up a mirror so she could see it. The bear was about twice as big as she had wanted, and kind of smooshed. Before she could say anything (though the look on her face when she saw it must have spoken volumes), the tattoo artist blurted out "You know what, I'm sorry. No charge for this one."
Not something you ever want to hear at the tattoo parlor...
posted by banishedimmortal at 12:53 AM on July 18, 2008 [1 favorite]
Not something you ever want to hear at the tattoo parlor...
posted by banishedimmortal at 12:53 AM on July 18, 2008 [1 favorite]
Quietgal: "In Fiasco's link, the lead paragraph says the guy is "ruing" his decision. And they're laughing at a typo in the guy's tattoo?"
Even were "ruing" not a valid spelling, I'd imagine the differing permanencies of the two media (skin, and "the web") reduce the irony somewhat...
posted by benzo8 at 2:19 AM on July 18, 2008
Even were "ruing" not a valid spelling, I'd imagine the differing permanencies of the two media (skin, and "the web") reduce the irony somewhat...
posted by benzo8 at 2:19 AM on July 18, 2008
I love this place: Rambo's Tattoo Parlour of Manchester, England - what makes it so special is it's next door to a laser tattoo removal specialist. Husband and wife team? Who knows. I crack up every time I walk past. They must share customer databases, and the remover bribes 'Rambo' to push clients for particularly regrettable tattoos. Like these.
posted by davemee at 3:13 AM on July 18, 2008
posted by davemee at 3:13 AM on July 18, 2008
"Fuck the Systsem", because the system just fucked you!
(the caption where I first saw that pic, can't remember where that was though. digg?)
posted by kolophon at 3:48 AM on July 18, 2008
(the caption where I first saw that pic, can't remember where that was though. digg?)
posted by kolophon at 3:48 AM on July 18, 2008
Fuck the System is an enhancement, not a mistake. Look that one up in your Frunk and Wagnall, mister!
posted by Phanx at 5:31 AM on July 18, 2008
posted by Phanx at 5:31 AM on July 18, 2008
A story I once heard between two former tattoo artists: a Hell's Angel (with his buddies, natch) comes in to get tattooed, just the word "CHICAGO" across his chest. The artist finishes and, whoops it says "CHICHAGO." Well, the artist thinks this is his last day on the mortal coil, or at the least his last day tattooing. The Angel takes this surprisingly well, and lets him cover it up with a big ole iron cross. He's saved. The next day, the Angel shows up again. He rips the flash right off the wall, and apparently as a favor to the artist, spells the word correctly -- right onto the wall, in meter-high letters, with a can of spraypaint.
posted by griphus at 5:42 AM on July 18, 2008
posted by griphus at 5:42 AM on July 18, 2008
Tatus r stoopd.
posted by Debaser626 at 6:08 AM on July 18, 2008
posted by Debaser626 at 6:08 AM on July 18, 2008
I think that's worth some empathy.
I’m not familiar with how tattooists work, but if I was dumb enough to let somebody put a permanent marking on my flesh without checking what they *planned* on doing before they actually did it, I'd feel fully responsible for my own imbecilic judgement.
Surely these people draw the design with something temporary before they get to work with the needles and permanent ink? And if they don't, why the fuck would anyone trust one, ever?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:43 AM on July 18, 2008 [1 favorite]
I’m not familiar with how tattooists work, but if I was dumb enough to let somebody put a permanent marking on my flesh without checking what they *planned* on doing before they actually did it, I'd feel fully responsible for my own imbecilic judgement.
Surely these people draw the design with something temporary before they get to work with the needles and permanent ink? And if they don't, why the fuck would anyone trust one, ever?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:43 AM on July 18, 2008 [1 favorite]
Yes, most tattoo artists either use a Thermofax stencil or draw a design on the skin with marker before starting.
However, some first-time clients are so nervous that they don't check the design very closely. Or they're not great spellers themselves and only notice the error when the copy editors of the world keep begging to add apostrophes to their "LETS DO IT" knuckle tattoos.
posted by kwaller at 8:10 AM on July 18, 2008
However, some first-time clients are so nervous that they don't check the design very closely. Or they're not great spellers themselves and only notice the error when the copy editors of the world keep begging to add apostrophes to their "LETS DO IT" knuckle tattoos.
posted by kwaller at 8:10 AM on July 18, 2008
I've got one to add to the list. I met a guy who was on the run from the gangster he tattooed- in giant gothic letters across his back, "STUGGLE".
posted by mistsandrain at 8:25 AM on July 18, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by mistsandrain at 8:25 AM on July 18, 2008 [2 favorites]
I learned a valuable lesson today - faces can be misspelled.
posted by owtytrof at 8:45 AM on July 18, 2008 [3 favorites]
posted by owtytrof at 8:45 AM on July 18, 2008 [3 favorites]
Ugh. Just reading about these makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Despite the fact that my two tattoos (one in Greek, one in Middle English) were checked, respectively, by a classics major and a paleography M.A., I get really paranoid that I'm going to discover something wrong with them one day.
Then again, I get nervous before theater performances that I'm attending.
posted by duvatney at 9:58 AM on July 18, 2008
Then again, I get nervous before theater performances that I'm attending.
posted by duvatney at 9:58 AM on July 18, 2008
My dad, an OB/GYN, had an elderly patient a few years ago with a big tattoo across her chest.
It said "MISSEL TITS."
posted by hippugeek at 10:17 AM on July 18, 2008 [2 favorites]
It said "MISSEL TITS."
posted by hippugeek at 10:17 AM on July 18, 2008 [2 favorites]
The day I see a top ten list of ANYTHING on the internet that doesn't have at least 4 things that have shown up in a thousand other top ten lists, I am going to throw a huge fucking party.
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 3:01 PM on July 18, 2008
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 3:01 PM on July 18, 2008
The day I see a top ten list of ANYTHING on the internet that doesn't have at least 4 things that have shown up in a thousand other top ten lists, I am going to throw a huge fucking party.
Top Ten People Capable Of Just Leaving A Thread Alone And Getting On With Their Life:
1. Stonestock Relentless
2. Stonestock Relentless
3. Stonestock Relentless
4. Stonestock Relentless
5. Stonestock Relentless
6. Stonestock Relentless
7. Stonestock Relentless
8. Stonestock Relentless
9. Stonestock Relentless
10. Stonestock Relentless
I'll bring the cheese dip.
posted by beaucoupkevin at 4:02 PM on July 18, 2008 [1 favorite]
Top Ten People Capable Of Just Leaving A Thread Alone And Getting On With Their Life:
1. Stonestock Relentless
2. Stonestock Relentless
3. Stonestock Relentless
4. Stonestock Relentless
5. Stonestock Relentless
6. Stonestock Relentless
7. Stonestock Relentless
8. Stonestock Relentless
9. Stonestock Relentless
10. Stonestock Relentless
I'll bring the cheese dip.
posted by beaucoupkevin at 4:02 PM on July 18, 2008 [1 favorite]
Top Ten People who will have to delay their huge fucking party:
1-10. Stonestock Relentless
Top Ten People who will get no cheese dip:
1-10. Stonestock Relentless
Top Ten People appearing in the three previous Top Ten lists:
1-10. Stonestock Relentless
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:27 PM on July 18, 2008
1-10. Stonestock Relentless
Top Ten People who will get no cheese dip:
1-10. Stonestock Relentless
Top Ten People appearing in the three previous Top Ten lists:
1-10. Stonestock Relentless
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:27 PM on July 18, 2008
"Recently, I got a sex change on a whim. I was out drinking with some friends, got really drunk, and went in for the surgery. The doctors suggested I wait until I was sober, but I said no, give me the sex change.
"Well, to make a long story short (so to speak), I woke up with breasts, a vagina, and a splitting headache. Also, I had a tattoo. I don’t remember where I got it, but there it was."
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:53 PM on July 20, 2008
"Well, to make a long story short (so to speak), I woke up with breasts, a vagina, and a splitting headache. Also, I had a tattoo. I don’t remember where I got it, but there it was."
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:53 PM on July 20, 2008
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