Comments on: Something Awful Forum Hilariously Hijacks CBC Anthem Contest

Something Awful Forum Hilariously Hijacks CBC Anthem Contest

dbarefoot — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 00:30:11 -0800

Something awful in a new CBC anthem. The CBC's Hockey Night in Canada is one of the highest-rated programs on Canadian television. It's something of a national shrine to our beloved sport. For the past 40-odd years, it's had a distinctive theme which most Canadians could hum. After something of a fiasco, the CBC lost the rights to the theme. They're running a contest to replace the venerated theme. A Something Awful forum user composed a truly dreadful entry ("mostly comprised of cat and sheep sounds, baby cries, and gunshots/explosions"), and got the community to 'vote it up' on the Anthem contest site. You really need to hear the awfulness to truly appreciate it.

The SA commmunity has responded, and now it's the most viewed, top rated, and most commented-on submission on the site. There's a Facebook group and a spectacularly bad animated version on YouTube.

By: three blind mice

three blind mice — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 00:48:21 -0800

After something of a fiasco, the CBC lost the rights to the theme. The CBC said it had offered nearly $1 million for perpetual rights to the piece, but that Copyright Music was asking for $2.5 to $3 million for those rights. Copyright Music turned it down because it was, "...a settlement that barely covered our legal bills, let alone losses." Goddamned greedy artists. Useless bastards. Who needs them? Why doesn't CBC just play a version from YouTube? It's not like it would be stealing or anything. The artists still have their copy right? Do-no-evil YouTube hasn't fallen into the stupid trap of paying artists and neither should CBC. It's a dangerous precedent.... can't have those long-haired hippies start thinking they can make a living from writing music.

By: CCBC

CCBC — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 00:56:55 -0800

This is a national embarrassment. The Tories have used the CBC as a whipping boy for decades. If they develop a campaign around privitazation of the CBC, they might just get a majority next time out. No, not a joke. Something Awful may change Canadian history.

By: Auz

Auz — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 00:58:10 -0800

Meh; it's just ripping off Danielle Dax's Toygit: http://www.myspace.com/ddax

By: tellurian

tellurian — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:00:01 -0800

I kinda' like it actually.

By: BrotherCaine

BrotherCaine — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:03:13 -0800

Sorry to be a hater, but it seems like kind of a crappy theme to get so worked up about.

By: painquale

painquale — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:08:34 -0800

I was upset that the CBC lost their rights to the old song, but this new song is great! A worthy successor.

By: hellslinger

hellslinger — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:09:05 -0800

ROFL It was just dumb until I heard the baby cry, and then I realized it was fucking hilarious. This is why somethingawful.com became what it is today - by making stuff that is really funny and infecting society with it's practical usefulness and inside joke charisma. /me wipes the tears from his eyes

By: Roman Graves

Roman Graves — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:10:48 -0800

I used to like Due South. That's really all I got for ya, Canada.

By: hellslinger

hellslinger — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:11:23 -0800

and the gunshots that kill the sheep at the end... IT'S GOLD, I TELL YOU, GOLD!!!

By: grippycat

grippycat — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:14:30 -0800

Hee. Hockey sheep!

By: srboisvert

srboisvert — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:17:02 -0800

Their will be rights issues in the new song when the cat and baby come forward. The sheep however, is probably a curry and a throw rug by now.

By: Oriole Adams

Oriole Adams — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:22:56 -0800

I remember reading once that in some sort of survey, the theme for Hockey Night in Canada was the nation's most recognizable song, followed by the theme from The Friendly Giant, and then the national anthem, "O Canada."

By: longsleeves

longsleeves — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:26:59 -0800

I'm keeping this as a mental palate cleanser for whenever an awful song gets stuck in my head. Bye-bye, In Dis Club!

By: loquacious

loquacious — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:33:10 -0800

It's not nearly annoying enough. In fact it has a catchy beat and a soothing machine noise not unlike listening to a busy laundromat. Granted, the experimental/noise folders of my music collection are currently roasting it on a spit over a tire fire and mocking it with expendable clones of Diamandas Galas being pureed in an industrial waste shredder, but it's a cute little thing so I'll probably rescue it before they actually cook it and eat it in a ritual sacrifice. I'll probably try to mash it up with that Strongbad techno track. "The system... is BAAAAaaAA... *boompf boompf boompf boompf"

By: Joey Michaels

Joey Michaels — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:33:14 -0800

This is not nearly as awful as the billing suggests. Unconventional Instrumentation, but listenable none the less.

By: effbot

effbot — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:34:49 -0800

After watching the version on the CBC site and then stumbling upon the comment "Try making something a little more north american sounding considering that it is our game," I don't think I'll ever be able to talk to a canadian again (nor watch hockey, for that matter) without imagining a choir of demented cats, babies, and sheep doing their best to drown everything out.

By: Happy Dave

Happy Dave — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:42:39 -0800

You know, the original theme song has lots of odd noises and swooshes in the background too.

By: Happy Dave

Happy Dave — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:45:36 -0800

Oh, and I've got a mental palate cleanser for ya. If you have any other tune in your head after watching that, I'm slightly scared of you.

By: naju

naju — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:46:42 -0800

Your favorite noise is muzak.

By: Civil_Disobedient

Civil_Disobedient — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 02:03:49 -0800

It's not like it would be stealing or anything. Yeah, because broadcasting a copy of a recording is exactly the same as playing a copy for your own personal use. Nice try, troll.

By: longsleeves

longsleeves — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 02:07:09 -0800

Oh, and I've got a mental palate cleanser for ya. If you have any other tune in your head after watching that, I'm slightly scared of you. See, switching one awful song for another one involving badly animated demons with cockney accents singing along to honkytonk piano music kinda misses the point, though.

By: Happy Dave

Happy Dave — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 02:28:39 -0800

kinda misses the point, though. There's a point?

By: longsleeves

longsleeves — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 02:54:05 -0800

There's a point? Yes.

By: Citizen Premier

Citizen Premier — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 03:22:15 -0800

Here's a point: .

By: randomination

randomination — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 04:10:19 -0800

Well I actually like it.

By: Zetetics

Zetetics — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 04:13:22 -0800

That's not nearly as awful as Id' hoped. I've heard worse in clubs. Still, I do hope it wins.

By: GoingToShopping

GoingToShopping — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 04:25:34 -0800

Actually, in all honesty, I really like it. A lot. As in, I've played it five or six times. But then again, I like Skinny Puppy, so maybe I'm just weird.

By: scruss

scruss — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 04:47:09 -0800

Captures the spirit of hockey perfectly: irritating, noisy, random, and ultimately futile. I love it. Also, I'm Canadian, and have never watched Hockey Night in Canada.

By: shadow vector

shadow vector — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 04:57:59 -0800

Godspeed, goons. Don't miss the protest video that was made while the song was briefly removed from the voting.

By: GhostintheMachine

GhostintheMachine — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 05:16:28 -0800

If they develop a campaign around privitazation of the CBC, they might just get a majority next time out. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, forget the environment, the economy, our foreign policy, health care, youth crime, child care... the vast majority of Canadians will put solutions to all those issues aside in order to accomplish that long-cherished national dream to privatize the CBC.

By: Durn Bronzefist

Durn Bronzefist — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 05:18:44 -0800

Don't miss the protest video that was made while the song was briefly removed from the voting. The entry itself should be more like that.

By: stefnet

stefnet — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 05:24:51 -0800

I'm partial to this version, myself.

By: pracowity

pracowity — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 05:39:11 -0800

Something I didn't know:

Penned by Vancouver native Dolores Claman, who is also responsible for the "Ontari-ari-o" ditty for Expo '67, the beloved theme song has become a sort of call to arms for a country obsessed with the rock 'em, sock 'em game of hockey.

A place to stand... Can Something Awful do an Ontario theme, too?

By: uncleozzy

uncleozzy — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 05:39:40 -0800

That's really not bad at all. I mean, it's not the theme song to a TV sports show, but it could certainly be the theme song for a cartoon or sitcom. What a cockup, though. The Wikipedia article makes it sound like the CBC wasn't at all interested in negotiating. Probably had it in their minds all along to pay some hack a pittance to put something together. Most of the top-rated and top-viewed themes are just plain terrible.

By: Daddy-O

Daddy-O — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 06:28:45 -0800

This whole theme song impasse could be solved in 20 minutes by B J Liederman, probably form considerably less than $1 million. And he will work for highly devalued US dollars.

By: JaredSeth

JaredSeth — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 06:33:55 -0800

Count me among those who like it. Hell, I just listened to a couple of the other entries and now I really like it.

By: willmize

willmize — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 06:36:00 -0800

The only thing I know about this theme song is that I think it's the song that they keep playing in that episode of "Corner Gas" when Brent and Karen are playing for the Dog River Table Hockey Championship. Best out of 8 games.

By: newfers

newfers — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 06:52:01 -0800

Thanks so much for posting that! As a Canadian living in Ohio, I clicked eagerly on the "awful" song suggestion, and laughed so hard my stomach still aches. And I hate hockey. I mean, I know the original theme, and wish it to remain the theme, but still, good god, that submission made me laugh so hard it hurt! And my wife blew her protein shake out her nose, so that was another amusing side-effect!

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 07:03:21 -0800

Instead of a song over a moving graphic, they should start every HNIC game by having live performers enact "Boten Anna" on the ice. Or maybe have the home team do "Yatta!".

By: lukemeister

lukemeister — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 07:29:15 -0800

I'm thinking Carmina Burana (Hoser Remix) would work.

By: arcticwoman

arcticwoman — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 07:47:04 -0800

This is why I love the CBC: when "Hockey Scores" was briefly taken down on July 12, the CBC sent an e-mail to Lowgain (sic) clarifying that the move was a mistake on the part of a third-party moderator, and that Aube should "expect no further trouble with your most excellent submission."

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 08:01:51 -0800

For that matter, what's wrong with "Take Off"?

By: Kronos_to_Earth

Kronos_to_Earth — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 08:19:25 -0800

I got rid of the theme, but the first mental palate cleanser got stuck in my head, so I used the second to get rid of the first, and now.... (...help...)

By: hangashore

hangashore — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 08:28:32 -0800

Stompin' Tom's "The Hockey Song" has to be the one and only choice for the new theme.

By: quin

quin — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 08:49:57 -0800

I thought the Goon submission was fairly brilliant, particularly the gunshots. It's almost like someone took the essence of hockey, distilled it down to it's purest form, ground it to a fine powder, snorted it, and then wrote a musical theme whilst buzzing on it's effects. CBC would be fools to not use it.

By: everichon

everichon — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 09:13:56 -0800

From the comments: "I agree not hockey at all" Too awesome.

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 10:01:52 -0800

I liked it. If they develop a campaign around privitazation of the CBC, they might just get a majority next time out. Oh, piffle.

By: hangashore

hangashore — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 10:24:37 -0800

If they develop a campaign around privitazation of the CBC, they might just get a majority next time out. They'd win every seat in Alberta! Oh, wait...

By: Sys Rq

Sys Rq — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 12:48:21 -0800

Stompin' Tom's "The Hockey Song" has to be the one and only choice for the new theme. The new theme of what? Octogenarian Sing-Along Time? Personally, I think the notion of Hockey Night in Canada -- that is, billing a hockey game as more than a hockey game -- is the lamest thing on TV. It doesn't need a theme song or opening titles or Don Fucking Cherry. Just turn the cameras on and drop the damn puck already.

By: Sys Rq

Sys Rq — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 12:49:09 -0800

(That, or write a theme for Synchronized Diving in Canada.)

By: Sys Rq

Sys Rq — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 12:54:05 -0800

(Final parenthetical word: Please, please, please don't take the attitudes on display in that site's comments as a reflection of Canadians as a whole. Keep in mind that it's a hockey theme song contest, and most of the people who actually give half a shit will invariably be white, male, and eleven.)

By: Nattie

Nattie — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 13:13:26 -0800

I felt that. I only wish it could be longer!

By: rokusan

rokusan — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 14:36:07 -0800

The funny thing to me about "$1M is not enough, we want $3M" is what the hell else are they going to do with the song? Is there a market somewhere that will set the price higher than $1M?

By: CCBC

CCBC — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 17:57:08 -0800

rokusan: Is there a market somewhere that will set the price higher than $1M? CTV bought it. I don't know what they paid. CBC Sports/Scotty Moore decided to trash the theme -- this after it was called the second National Anthem. Moore and the song publishers turned patriotism into merchandise. I still say, the Tories are going to grab hold of this. Yes, more people will be involved in this issue than carbon taxes or Afghanistan or the economy because here is an opportunity to show dissent. Most voters don't believe that they can change anything but, by giving this theme 5/5, they can cock a snoot at the Powers That Be. The first party to properly get hold of this issue will benefit, but the Tories have an inside track.

By: Vindaloo

Vindaloo — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 18:56:08 -0800

This will end well.

By: H-Bar

H-Bar — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 20:35:53 -0800

Don't forget the symbolism: "My love for hockey is reflected quite well in this piece I feel. The intense percussion symbolizes the hard-hitting excitement of the sport, while the cat samples are used to demonstrate the feline qualities players must possess: speed, cunning, agility, and fearlessness. The other animal noises reflect the rich domestic history of the sport; I remember my grandfather who grew up on a farm used to freeze a rink in their field every year so that they could play the game, while the animals watched on. "The happy child was used to symbolize the child-like wonder many Canadians feel every time they turn on this great game. The climax of the piece brings it all together, bringing the excitement to its peak and then finishing it off with a buzzer. Goal!"

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 21:29:14 -0800

CBC Sports/Scotty Moore decided to trash the theme -- this after it was called the second National Anthem. Moore and the song publishers turned patriotism into merchandise. I still say, the Tories are going to grab hold of this... The first party to properly get hold of this issue will benefit, but the Tories have an inside track. Any party that hacks on the CBC because of this will be labeled as the party who wanted a public entity to spend millions of tax-payer dollars on a few minutes of music. It was a lose-lose proposition for the MotherCorp., and they made the best of a bad situation by taking the route that made financial sense. It was the responsible choice, and if the song is so precious that folks are willing to make political hay out of it, could be used to argue for increased funding for the CBC. I was more pissed off about the Rusty and Jerome fracas, myself.

By: [expletive deleted]

[expletive deleted] — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 22:32:57 -0800

The crazy thing is the SA Goon's submission is honestly the best one submitted so far.

By: converge

converge — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 23:48:14 -0800

I want this very much.

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 07:38:18 -0800

they can cock a snoot Snoot-cocking, of course, being Canada's second favorite ice-based sport — even ahead, somehow, of curling.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 17:06:03 -0800

Here's my 100% guaranteed mental palate cleanser for whenever an awful song gets stuck in my head.

By: JaredSeth

JaredSeth — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 17:49:16 -0800

Oh god, Ubu...that's a clear cut case of the cure being worse than the condition it's designed to remedy.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 18:33:23 -0800

heh heh heh heh heh

By: CCBC

CCBC — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 00:04:11 -0800

MetaFilter: cocking a snoot with Canadians since 1867.

By: djfiander

djfiander — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 04:53:36 -0800

Personally, I prefer cocking snooks over cocking snoots.

By: bitter-girl.com

bitter-girl.com — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 11:24:30 -0800

I dunno, UbuRoivas, we use "Rainbow in the Dark" for our brain-cleansing around here and it works pretty well...

By: The ____ of Justice

The ____ of Justice — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 01:48:42 -0800

Update... this is freakin' priceless. Hockey Scores on CBC National I almost cried laughing.

By: BrotherCaine

BrotherCaine — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 01:59:27 -0800

That composer interview was awesome. Kudos to him for keeping a straight face.

By: CCBC

CCBC — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 02:27:36 -0800

Scotty Moore: "People are ready to move on." Right! Bite me, Scotty and listen to: Logan Aube, who seems to get it.