His favorite pickup line? "Would you like to see my penis again?"

July 27, 2008 10:49 PM

Imagine if millions of people had seen you naked before you were old enough to say "embarrassing." That's the story of Spencer Elden.

On August 16, 2007, in reference to the fact that his penis was visible on the album cover, Elden was quoted as saying, "It's kind of creepy that that many people have seen me naked. I feel like I'm the world's biggest porn star!" Last fall, he spent six months in military boarding school. All his parents will say is that he's done his fair share of "testing authority."

Here's Spencer in 2002, 2003 (when he appeared on his second album cover) and 2007.

posted by miss lynnster (51 comments total)

On August 16, 2007, in reference to the fact that his penis was visible on the album cover, Elden was quoted as saying,

"Well I just got back from swimming in the pool. And the water was cold..."
posted by three blind mice at 10:54 PM on July 27, 2008

It's kind of creepy that that many people have seen me naked. I feel like I'm the world's biggest porn star!

That's kind of a creepy way to think about a naked photo of yourself as an infant.

I dig the article, though. I've never seen or played "Rock Band." I can assume from his comment that Rock Band is as close to real music as a racing game is to real driving?
posted by maxwelton at 11:04 PM on July 27, 2008 [1 favorite]

"That's the difference between the '90s and kids nowadays; kids in the '90s would actually go out and make a [real] band!"

Man, I'm so sick of hearing about how everything was better in the '90s. Jeez...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 11:05 PM on July 27, 2008 [1 favorite]

What would baby Jesus do?
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:05 PM on July 27, 2008

So that's his money shot, eh?
posted by iamkimiam at 11:06 PM on July 27, 2008

Has it been 17 years already? Man, they grow up so fast....
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:13 PM on July 27, 2008

We still had the internet in the 90's! Although even that was cooler back then.

Yeah, this decade pretty much sucked.
posted by delmoi at 11:14 PM on July 27, 2008 [1 favorite]

When he's not being repressed by video games and computers, Elden blasts music — mostly techno — and carries around a big bag of angst, mostly around the fact that he is "so over" high school.

This is me when that album came out. Which means that in the years since "Nevermind," enough time has passed for someone to learn to walk, talk, hit a baseball, learn to drive, have a first kiss, become me.

I feel old.
posted by donpedro at 11:20 PM on July 27, 2008 [7 favorites]

max: apparently drumming in Rock Band is very close to the real thing, to the point that the next iterations of both Guitar Hero and Rock Band should allow the use of real drum kits.

The guitar, however, has only the shape of the controller in common with real instruments. Practice on it is not useful for actual playing.
posted by Malor at 11:23 PM on July 27, 2008

The guitar, however, has only the shape of the controller in common with real instruments. Practice on it is not useful for actual playing.

Hasn't everybody seen the South Park episode where the kids are trying to get the record for Guitar Hero, and one of the fathers pulls out his guitar & amp, saying, "Hey kids! That game looks fun & all, but wouldn't you like to learn to play like this?" *plays guitar solo*

Kids: "No way, dude. That's so lame! Only old farts like you play real guitars!" *kids return to playing Guitar Hero*
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:47 PM on July 27, 2008

Hasn't everybody seen the South Park episode

No, but this kid does have something of Cartman's tone about him when he speaks:

"Respect mah iconic tiny baby penis!"
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:24 AM on July 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

Fake plastic rock is for losers go buy real instruments.
posted by davar at 2:03 AM on July 28, 2008

Imagine if millions of people had seen you naked before you were old enough to say "embarrassing." That's the story of Spencer Elden.

I'm sure I'm not alone in guessing who Spencer Elden was just based on the front page text. That's one famous baby photo.
posted by tomcooke at 2:12 AM on July 28, 2008

"My friend is all like, 'Hey I saw you today.' And I'm like, 'Dude, I was working all day.' And he's like, 'No, I went to Geffen Records, and you're on the floor and you're floating and I stepped on your face. 'Cause I guess they have like a floating thing where people can like walk on me and stuff...

I swear it feels as if someone is methodically poking my fillings with a fork when I hear someone punctuating their conversation with 1,483 "likes."
posted by Oriole Adams at 2:13 AM on July 28, 2008

MetaFilter: it feels as if someone is methodically poking my fillings with a fork
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:57 AM on July 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

Fake plastic rock.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:19 AM on July 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

People who complain about "like": what do you say in pauses in the conversation when you're trying to construct the rest of your statement and don't want people to think you're done speaking?

I am really weirded out that I've been listening to the same album regularly for the past 17 years though. It's weirder than hearing U2 on the "classic rock" station, but less weird than the entire world seeing my genitals.
posted by giraffe at 5:28 AM on July 28, 2008

Green plastic watering can.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:30 AM on July 28, 2008

I don't think this helps him with the ladies.

High school boy: You know, I was the baby on the cover of Nevermind.
High school girl: (pause) What's Nevermind?
posted by naju at 5:50 AM on July 28, 2008 [6 favorites]

Real Fake Plastic Trees Rock
posted by Kabanos at 5:53 AM on July 28, 2008

naju, but it probably helps him with the cougars.
posted by substrate at 6:16 AM on July 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

Oriole Adams: ""My friend is all like, 'Hey I saw you today.' And I'm like, 'Dude, I was working all day.' And he's like, 'No, I went to Geffen Records, and you're on the floor and you're floating and I stepped on your face. 'Cause I guess they have like a floating thing where people can like walk on me and stuff...

I swear it feels as if someone is methodically poking my fillings with a fork when I hear someone punctuating their conversation with 1,483 "likes.""

Good for you there's only, like, four "like"s in that.
posted by symbioid at 6:23 AM on July 28, 2008

Metafilter: respecting the iconic tiny baby penis.
posted by jonp72 at 6:28 AM on July 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

i've never seen rock band, but isn't it sort of a glorified simon?
posted by quonsar at 6:29 AM on July 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

Only if Axis and Allies is sort of a glorified Checkers. It's all about moving the plastic.
posted by Maxson at 6:42 AM on July 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

Damn, I don't remember who it was or where I saw the article... but I remember reading some interview with some iconic rock guitarist, a la Slash or Eddie Van Halen or someone, where they were talking about how sometimes they play Rock Band during downtime in the studio or on the tour bus or something and that his kids are great at it but he totally sucks. I saw that South Park episode and that kinda nailed it, it's got nothing to do with people making actual music.

"Rock Band isn't about music or about being in a band, it's about pretending. But instead of pretending alone, as you might in karaoke or Guitar Hero, you pretend with other people. Rock Band is Guitar Hero for people with more than one friend. It's a theater group set to music, and just as nerdy."
posted by miss lynnster at 6:45 AM on July 28, 2008

Another quote from that article I just linked: "I quickly discovered, as other real guitarists have, that knowing how to play guitar in no way qualifies you to play Rock Band (or Guitar Hero). It's the same way that being a doctor doesn't make you good at the game Operation."
posted by miss lynnster at 6:47 AM on July 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

Interestingly, Guitar Hero IV ("Guitar Hero World Tour") will allow you to make custom songs.
posted by Maxson at 6:49 AM on July 28, 2008

fake plastic rock
posted by caddis at 6:56 AM on July 28, 2008

Rush tries to play their own hit in Rock Band.
posted by evilcolonel at 7:01 AM on July 28, 2008 [6 favorites]

The guitar in guitar hero is pretty good practice for learning the clarinet or saxophone.
posted by I Foody at 7:29 AM on July 28, 2008

That's the difference between the '90s and kids nowadays; kids in the '90s would actually go out and make a [real] band!"

Well, not really.
posted by StarForce5 at 8:25 AM on July 28, 2008

He's got a good track record though... that cEvin Key album is pretty fantastic too.
posted by FatherDagon at 9:06 AM on July 28, 2008

High school boy: You know, I was the baby on the cover of Nevermind.
High school girl: (pause) What's Nevermind?

High school girl's little sister: What's a cover?
posted by ericbop at 9:09 AM on July 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

17 years?

SERIOUSLY?

Holy fuck.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 9:21 AM on July 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

I read about this kid on another news site that used the headline Nirvana Baby All Grown Up. I figured it was about Frances Bean and clicked through--it wasn't, but that spurred me to Google Frances.

Now I feel old too.
posted by cirocco at 10:20 AM on July 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

"I quickly discovered, as other real guitarists have, that knowing how to play guitar in no way qualifies you to play Rock Band (or Guitar Hero). It's the same way that being a doctor doesn't make you good at the game Operation."

I think being a surgeon would actually make you better at Operation. The game just requires a steady hand, which is pretty intrinsic to the job, right?

In the same way, playing a guitar would make you better at guitar hero (speaking from experience, substituting bassoon for guitar.) Finger dexterity!

The point is, it doesn't work in the opposite direction.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 10:20 AM on July 28, 2008

I'm back from watching the awesome Rush video evilcolonel posted above. I had to share the news that at some point Neil Peart turned into Kevin Spacey. Perhaps that is why SONG FAILED.
posted by cirocco at 10:31 AM on July 28, 2008

So... I wonder what that $1 bill is doing now. Is it still hanging out with the fish-hook, or was that just, you know, a one time thing for the photo?
posted by quin at 11:04 AM on July 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

There will come day when as many people have seen my penis. I just prefer to show it to one person at a time. Or sometimes two.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:21 AM on July 28, 2008

Someone totally needs to set him up on a blind date with Frances Bean Cobain. Get VH1 to film the proceedings. Totally.
posted by Dr-Baa at 11:44 AM on July 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

Damn kids, get out of my pool.
posted by not_on_display at 1:06 PM on July 28, 2008

I hope we get to hear the stories of more stock photography models.
posted by basicchannel at 2:55 PM on July 28, 2008

Uhhh, the whole point of his involvement was that they couldn't afford stock photography. His parents were friends with the photographer and they got paid $200 to throw their kid in a pool.
posted by miss lynnster at 3:57 PM on July 28, 2008

Speaking of Rock Band videos, I rather liked this one.
posted by Samizdata at 4:03 PM on July 28, 2008

A search for Rock Band real drums shows that it basically is really playing the drums.

Rock Band on Real Drums.
posted by empath at 4:16 PM on July 28, 2008

quin: "So... I wonder what that $1 bill is doing now. Is it still hanging out with the fish-hook, or was that just, you know, a one time thing for the photo?"

You know, I was going to be all clever and plug the bill's serial number into WheresGeorge.com to find out where it actually is now, or at least where it's been recently. So I manage to find the real number (L94998746B), log into the site using Bugmenot to access the "find a bill" feature, and enter the information. And what do I get?

This bill has been blocked from entry

An image of this bill appears on a website, advertisement, merchandise, or other public place, and is blocked from entry to prevent false entries and hits. If you actually have this bill in your possession, please submit a Contact Us page to report your sighting of this bill. Please include the Serial number, series(year), denomination and your current Zip Code.

This bill appears here:
Dollar bill on the cover of Nirvana's Nevermind album.

So the tracking down of "famous" bills is blocked by default?

Epic fail, WheresGeorge.com. Epic fail.
posted by Rhaomi at 6:34 PM on July 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

It seems odd to me that his father kinda got "tricked" into taking that photo. From the sound of it, that was just supposed to be a random photo at a pool party. Am I correct in thinking he got no money out of one of the most iconic photos of our generation? And could the litigious amongst us tell me if there's a way to come back later and say "hey! I didn't sign off on THAT kind of usage!"?
posted by revmitcz at 1:53 PM on July 29, 2008

Epic fail, WheresGeorge.com. Epic fail

Hardly. The point of the site is to track actual dollar bills. Everyone and their dog who a) knows about that site, and b) has a copy of Nevermind (which is approximately everyone on the planet) could enter it and blow their DB to smithereens.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 5:08 PM on July 29, 2008

And could the litigious amongst us tell me if there's a way to come back later and say "hey! I didn't sign off on THAT kind of usage!"?

It depends on how the model release was worded. In most cases the subject in the photo (or his guardian) signs away all right to future profits in exchange for "valuable consideration," usually a nominal bit of cash. The boilerplate language used in the linked example is pretty common, leaving the subject little legal recourse if the consideration was in fact received.

I recall, although vaguely, one case where a man came across a bank brochure for college funds that prominently featured a photo of the man's smiling young daughter on a carousel horse. The man remembered the day he took his daughter to the merry-go-round, but he'd had no idea, and neither had she, that she was being photographed, and by someone who later sold the shot for stock. The man sued, and (in a delightful twist o' justice) used the judgment to pay for his carousel-riding daughter's college education. So yup, you can sue if someone uses your picture to sell something, and you didn't give them permission to do so.

Not that the kid in this case is feelin' litigious, it seems. He seems to think his fifteen minutes of fame has made him the cock* of the walk.

* boo, hiss!
posted by cirocco at 12:10 PM on July 30, 2008

P.S. My third and final installment of "I feel old" news: Patty Hearst's daughter, Supermodel of the Year.
posted by cirocco at 12:48 PM on July 30, 2008