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Penis anybody?
August 9, 2008 12:28 AM   Subscribe

Garry Linnell eats hot cock at a local Beijing penis restaurant [SFW]. Suddenly tripe doesn't sound so gross.
posted by wumpus (43 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

 
It's nice to have confirmation that when I tell someone to "eat a bowl of dicks" I have, in fact, instructed them to do something extremely unpleasant.
posted by louche mustachio at 12:48 AM on August 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'd pay to see someone like Garry Bushell or Richard Littlejohn saying something like this on TV:

"Right, and now I'm just about to put the donkey penis into my mouth.... Wait, why isn't the donkey dead? My agent togmghfgmmmfffglglglglldribbble......"
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:50 AM on August 9, 2008


Why on earth would you eat penis?
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 12:55 AM on August 9, 2008


I've got a great idea for a MeFi game. We could all see how many Wumpus's posts we can flag and the first one to identify something deleteworthy would be the winner.

We could call the game 'Kill the poster' or 'Find the commenter', something like that...
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:04 AM on August 9, 2008 [3 favorites]


I could eat a knob at night.
posted by gyc at 1:05 AM on August 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


The real tragedy here is that Blazecock Pileon didn't post this. It could have been eponysterical.
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:08 AM on August 9, 2008


Single-link Australian Daily Telegraph video post that starts with a loud advertisement, followed by Australian sports writer Garry Linnell playing restaurant critic at a Chinese restaurant. He eats donkey dick, deer dick, sheep dick, and ox dick with chop sticks while cliché Chinese plinky-plinky music plinky plink plinks in the background. He says ox dick is fatty, soft, and bland (and he can't force it or any dick down without the chili sauce), sheep dick is gristly, deer dick is fatty and glutinous and gluggy [?], and donkey dick is a bit like bacon but he isn't eager for more.

There you have it. Every time you eat bacon, it's like you're eating a nice strip of donkey dick.

Why on earth would you eat penis?

Because people imagine it does magical things like improve their virility or make their skin smooth.
posted by pracowity at 1:13 AM on August 9, 2008


Metafilter: Dip it in some chili sauce and see how it goes down.
posted by dhammond at 1:15 AM on August 9, 2008


Try the cock, Albert. It's a delicacy, and you know where it's been.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:19 AM on August 9, 2008 [4 favorites]


Don't forget the first course.
posted by trondant at 1:22 AM on August 9, 2008


that's odd, there was no advert when i went there, pracowit. maybe my adblocker stopped it, or maybe you have your tv on. anyway, great summary!
posted by wumpus at 1:28 AM on August 9, 2008


Needs more cock sauce.
posted by loquacious at 1:55 AM on August 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


This reminds me of seeing Calvin Trillin years ago on Johnny Carson talking about being in a restaurant in Taiwan or Hong Kong. He saw "twice boiled deer penis" on the menu and almost ordered it, but he knew if he ordered it that he'd simply take one look at it and say to the waiter, "I think you better take that back and boil it again."
posted by cropshy at 2:07 AM on August 9, 2008


Choking Down Penis
posted by ElvisJesus at 3:45 AM on August 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


Don't forget the first course.

Yeah, my first course is suffering from a prostate problem.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:01 AM on August 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


Why on earth would you eat penis?

Because people imagine it does magical things like improve their virility or make their skin smooth.


Shhhh. I've been telling women that that's true for years and years now.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:03 AM on August 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


Why on earth would you eat penis?

Because the kitchen ran out of pussies an hour ago, so it's penises or arseholes. And there's more meat on a penis.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:07 AM on August 9, 2008 [3 favorites]


Thirsty?
posted by ElvisJesus at 4:18 AM on August 9, 2008


Cock Ale
posted by mkb at 5:13 AM on August 9, 2008


Isn't this the whole premise of Andrew Zimmer's _Bizzare Foods_? Go around he world doing a sort of Fear Factor thing? Will he eat a bug? A sheep's brain? A cow's anus?
posted by fixedgear at 5:19 AM on August 9, 2008


Gordon Ramsay vs. James May in a disgusting eating challenge, including bull's penis.
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 6:11 AM on August 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


Sheep's brain is not bad, as long as we're on the topic, cooked in a coconut milk and turmeric sauce.
posted by BinGregory at 6:27 AM on August 9, 2008


Penis: "It's not my kind of meal".
posted by spicynuts at 7:03 AM on August 9, 2008


It's only gross if you think about it.
posted by StickyCarpet at 7:22 AM on August 9, 2008


Eating a creatures sex organs should be considered a sign of madness.
posted by nola at 7:24 AM on August 9, 2008


The next video, "Should athletes eat penis?" made me wonder...how long will it be before careers are put in question over the use of its enhancing properties? What length should be the cutoff?

These are important questions...
posted by samsara at 7:32 AM on August 9, 2008


Big deal. There are penises all over my living room carpet, in various degrees of devourment.

By all evidence, they are apparently delicious.
posted by Lou Stuells at 7:39 AM on August 9, 2008


I knew this trend of decorating rooms with free-standing vaginas was leading nowhere good.
posted by digaman at 9:18 AM on August 9, 2008


yep, nope.
posted by dozo at 9:28 AM on August 9, 2008


We eat bull fries here. Man up, you babies.
posted by boo_radley at 9:56 AM on August 9, 2008


<0)
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8===D
posted by humannaire at 10:28 AM on August 9, 2008


Eating a creatures sex organs should be considered a sign of madness.

Actually I think it's the other way around. I think it's madness to take a living thing, kill it and then dice it up into edible and inedible sections. You've killed the thing, what difference is there really between this piece of dead flesh and that piece of dead flesh?

Look at Chinese food, you take a duck, chicken, pig, shrimp, cow, slice it up and put some "sweet'n'sour" sauce on it and you've got a best selling dish. What's so unusual about throwing a testical or brain in the same sauce?

I watch Bizarre Foods religiously because I find it fascinating that there are so many different kinds of tasty looking foods out there. Being raised in the US and having so many processed foods around it's hard to think that a tarantula might be as good as a chicken wing or that caterpillars fried in butter and garlic are just as delicious as shrimp.

God forbid you make me try any of that stuff though.
posted by M Edward at 11:48 AM on August 9, 2008


There sure are a lot of stereotypical white people under this thread.
posted by illiad at 12:20 PM on August 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


Let me refraise then; if you've got meat to eat why the hell eat wang?
posted by nola at 12:26 PM on August 9, 2008


There sure are a lot of stereotypical white people under this thread.

If an aversion to chowing down on a steaming hot plate of extra crispy donkey dick makes me a stereotypical white person, then bring on the gated community and Pat Boone records.
posted by DecemberBoy at 12:59 PM on August 9, 2008 [5 favorites]


If an aversion to chowing down on a steaming hot plate of extra crispy donkey dick makes me a stereotypical white person, then bring on the gated community and Pat Boone records.

The Japanese have been having a laugh at whitey for ages. You've been happily eating their beef teriyaki, while all along they've been serving you marinated whale anus, which is something no Asian would eat.
posted by illiad at 1:10 PM on August 9, 2008


whale anus is a East Tennessee delicacy, so there Japan! You can also get pig brains in a can 'round here, but I won't touch 'em.
posted by nola at 1:47 PM on August 9, 2008


Wait - cockmeat sandwiches are real?!
posted by redteam at 5:47 PM on August 9, 2008


I love the [SFW] tag.

"Johnson!! What are you looking at?"

"Just some people eating cock, sir."

"All right, then. Carry on."
posted by sluglicker at 8:12 PM on August 9, 2008


There are foods that one should eat only as a food of last resort. Bodily organs that process and expel waste should be among the shunned.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:25 PM on August 9, 2008


kidney < liver < anus < penis < a nice juicy steak, because hey, you're not a starving peasant.

Much the same goes for spiders, although that's more my own prejudice showing, given I'll happily chow down on crab. Bugs are a rational foodstuff compared to kidneys.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:27 PM on August 9, 2008


Any excuse to wheel out Jumbo Cock Irony Barbeque.
posted by liquidindian at 2:33 AM on August 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Watch out for the bone.
posted by Kabanos at 11:05 AM on August 11, 2008


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