Schockoladespielzeugkombinationseier
August 9, 2008 12:52 AM   Subscribe

Sold all over the world but banned in the US in 1997 under a law passed in 1938. Kinder Surprise are now under attack in Germany. No magicodes for you!
posted by tellurian (53 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
 
Banning Kinder Surprise is--and this is not something I would normally say--the worst example of nanny-state bullshit ever.

I mean, hello? You Americans often deride Canada for being a nanny state. And yet I can walk into stores across the country and buy myself some crappy chocolate Kinder Surprise.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:00 AM on August 9, 2008 [7 favorites]


Interesting. And yet this is legal in the states.
posted by davejay at 1:07 AM on August 9, 2008 [3 favorites]


You can actually get them in the US without much difficulty. My coworker gave me some actually.

Although this now explains the iconography on it, as I assumed it was not meant to be given to 3 or fewer angry babies (but 4 angry babies were OK).
posted by mrzarquon at 1:08 AM on August 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


-1 actually.

But yes, they are not hard to find, and are labelled specifically that they have toys inside and that you should not give them to children under three (or no less than 3 angry ones).
posted by mrzarquon at 1:10 AM on August 9, 2008


I can imagine the discussion that led up to the ban.

Child: "I want something exciting! And a toy! And some chocolate!".

CPSC [wagging finger sternly]: "But that's three wishes in one... it's just not possible".
posted by greycap at 1:18 AM on August 9, 2008 [23 favorites]


Man I had an awesome kinder surprise collection once.
When I was 17...
posted by Jimbob at 1:18 AM on August 9, 2008


The chocolate on these things is rank, but there's nothing like the joy inspired when coming back from the shops and distributing an armload to a bunch of e'd up ravers. Their little faces are just so precious.
posted by pompomtom at 1:23 AM on August 9, 2008 [6 favorites]


Wait. Kinder Surprise is banned in the USA? Then, why do the bodegas on Second Ave in Manhattan sell them?

Oh, right.

The toys you put together are the best. The ones that are just a solid pre-made toy? What a disappointment.
posted by SansPoint at 1:32 AM on August 9, 2008


Kinder Surprise eggs are sold in the US, but they have little sugary candies inside them instead. They suck.
posted by idiotfactory at 1:34 AM on August 9, 2008


There is no way this will happen. The politician in question, Gruß, backed off within a day, and claims now that she didn't actually want a ban on the things, just, you know, a choking warning. Die Welt follow up (in German).
posted by moonbiter at 2:15 AM on August 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


Also, this commission apparently doesn't even have the authority to ban the eggs.
posted by moonbiter at 2:24 AM on August 9, 2008


My girlfriend lived in Germany for a few years when she was young and loved these. She found some here a few months back and got a handful of them. She gives one to me and to each of the people with us. She opens hers and there's a little red haired kid with a walking stick and a sign pointing somewhere. Hiking! Someone else gets the red-head playing with a dog! Another friend gets the kid in a racecar or something else exciting! I open mine and it's the kid holding a pushbroom... I got a fucking janitor.
posted by gally99 at 2:50 AM on August 9, 2008 [6 favorites]


Next non-Germany meet up I'm at, I'm bringing some for you.
posted by chillmost at 3:24 AM on August 9, 2008


I just bought my first 'Kinder Ueberraschung' after nearly ten years in the states while in London and was disappointed to see the two halves of the plastic egg are now connected. shooting them through the classroom used to be the most fun you could have with those crap little toys.
posted by krautland at 3:38 AM on August 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


Kinder Eggs are ok, but I prefer gorging myself once a year on the huge uovo di Pasqua. Better 'toys' as well :D
posted by romakimmy at 3:46 AM on August 9, 2008


One of the best memories I have of my (short) time at uni was getting caught up in a snowballing mob of students all heading to the student union building.

"What's going on?" I asked no-one in particular.

"They've collected a kinder village!" came the breathless, gleeful reply.
posted by Ritchie at 3:52 AM on August 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


The surprise with Kinder Surprise is that somewhere people like them. Crap toys and awful chocolate.
posted by vbfg at 4:17 AM on August 9, 2008


Oh c'mon. Kinder Surprise with its bizarre wax-n-chocolate coating, nearly impossible to open egg and crappy toy (that will often as not wind up under the fridge, having been appropriated by cats) is as much a part of childhood as Cracker Jack with it's humidity-dampened cardboard box you had to tear open with your teeth, uber stale and stuck-together corn-syrup sweetened popcorn and "free prize" which was always just a dumb paper foldee or temporary tattoo.

It's the experience, not the components, that's important: A difficult to open package to wrestle with, a food-like-substance your older sister thought was gross (so you could eat it all), and something to fidget with.
posted by seanmpuckett at 5:25 AM on August 9, 2008 [11 favorites]


You'll never look at them the same way again after reading this.
posted by evilcolonel at 5:26 AM on August 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


As long as I can still have my Happy Hippos.
posted by The White Hat at 5:40 AM on August 9, 2008


I use them in training, in a trust/communication exercise - get everyone in pairs, blindfold one and ask the other to instruct the blind one to make the toy. Good fun, and rather effective.

I like Kinder Bueno best.
posted by goo at 6:04 AM on August 9, 2008


I've seen them for sale at my local pizza joint.
posted by konolia at 6:07 AM on August 9, 2008


It's the experience, not the components, that's important:

True, but then I got that from breakfast cereals. At least there I got submariones powered by baking soda that would rise to the surface, sink and then rise again. All I got out of Kinder Surprise were cars where the wheels wouldn't turn.
posted by vbfg at 6:18 AM on August 9, 2008


I've seen them for sale at my local pizza joint.
Report them NOW [think of the children].
posted by tellurian at 6:27 AM on August 9, 2008


I open mine and it's the kid holding a pushbroom... I got a fucking janitor.

I bet that was surprising.
posted by cotterpin at 6:47 AM on August 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


The toys you put together are the best. The ones that are just a solid pre-made toy? What a disappointment.

I loved the metal knights you could get and started collecting them. This was only a few years ago, but they seemed to have gone all plastic since then.

The chocolate, though... I'd have to be pretty hard up for "chocolate" to eat that.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 7:10 AM on August 9, 2008


Oh, and once a year, my sister gives out Kinder Maxi Surprise Eggs (they're huge). Same chocolate, but larger, more intricate toys.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 7:12 AM on August 9, 2008


Kinder Surprise.
posted by quonsar at 7:29 AM on August 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


These are the coolest candies ever, and the toys are often far more complex than I could have guessed could fit into that tiny capsule. A piñata full of kinder surprise eggs and flying saucers would be like the turducken of confectionery.

Not that flying saucers are remotely delicious, but candy-inside-candy is a charming novelty of which I'll never grow weary, so you can imagine that toys inside candy is the coolest damn thing ever.

King cakes
and charm cakes are also delightful, and Tolkien seemed to think so as well.
posted by Lou Stuells at 7:30 AM on August 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


We are so grateful that someone in parliament is finally trying to do something about the killer sweets that are available everywhere you look.

As you know our little girl, Jenny, choked to death on a little bit of a plastic toy in a Kinder Surprise egg. It was a long time ago, but in all these years nobody has taken any notice until now. Three children have died in this country and all we hear is that millions and millions of eggs are eaten without anyone coming to harm. If another child dies this won't be much consolation to the parents. Please do your best to make sure that no other family loses a little one.


Consumer Reports.

Crazy ad.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:16 AM on August 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


Aww, I still remember the cute little penguin figurines I got in one run of Kinder Surprise. Penguins ice skating! Penguins sledding! Penguins ... doing wintery things! And the crane. The crane didn't have anything to do with the penguins; I just got him around the same time.
posted by bettafish at 9:29 AM on August 9, 2008


Nice title.

Too bad English doesn't have a word for ChocolateToythingCominbinationEgg.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 9:34 AM on August 9, 2008


Good heavens, the chocolate snobbery around here is suffocating. And the toys are a damned sight higher quality (and generally more entertaining) than anything you'd find in a cereal box or out of a vending machine. Not bad value for the price of a Kinder Surprise.
posted by illiad at 9:35 AM on August 9, 2008


We're all thinking it; has nobody else provided the link yet?
posted by roystgnr at 9:35 AM on August 9, 2008


I think the ban stems from the backlash from when Gillette used to sell razor blades the same way.
posted by George_Spiggott at 10:15 AM on August 9, 2008 [2 favorites]


Presented without comment:

"Sonnenschein" accused the parliament of "stealing our last little joy - with no reasonable explanation".
posted by enn at 11:55 AM on August 9, 2008


NOOOOOOOOO!

Well, I guess this is part of why my Austin supply of Kinder eggs has dried up? So sad. Gah, I love those damn things.
posted by fiercecupcake at 1:09 PM on August 9, 2008


We live in a military town and I am pretty sure those purchasing the eggs know what they are getting.

I feel no need to rat them out.
posted by konolia at 1:40 PM on August 9, 2008


A German friend tells me that the ban there is canceled after "some massive bitching took place". Panic over \o/
posted by Freaky at 3:14 PM on August 9, 2008


As you know our little girl, Jenny, choked to death on a little bit of a plastic toy in a Kinder Surprise egg. It was a long time ago, but in all these years nobody has taken any notice until now.

Y'know, some of us aren't even parents, yet we know enough to not give children teeny-tiny toys. It's a frigging kinderegg, of course it's going to have small parts. You buy them for your teenager as a gag gift or a bribe, not for a freakin' toddler!
posted by five fresh fish at 11:10 PM on August 9, 2008


My favourite Kinder Egg memory is from my 21st birthday, when my friends baked me a pot cake with Kinder chocolate icing (and bought me Bjork's 'Debut' CD as a birthday present). It was the day that I realized that you could smoke and smoke and smoke pot, but it was impossible to get anymore stoned. Great memory.
posted by KokuRyu at 11:14 PM on August 9, 2008


I think the ban stems from the backlash from when Gillette used to sell razor blades the same way.

What, Gillette used to sell razor blades dipped in chocolate?

Actually, fivefreshfish, my childhood tells me you buy them for your four year old. The kid eats the crappy-but-sugary chocolate, and you get to assemble that oh-so-cool toy (which you can't buy for yourself, 'cuz your wife would totally make fun) and play with it 'for them' because it's a choking hazard. Dammit, now I want to have kids.
posted by spaceman_spiff at 1:25 AM on August 10, 2008


We live in a military town and I am pretty sure those purchasing the eggs know what they are getting.
I left it for a while but I really can't parse this nonsense. You have taken a fair bit of flak for your religious views but this is something else. The military are somehow superior from the rest of the populace in terms of cognition? Please explain.
posted by tellurian at 7:02 AM on August 10, 2008


What I meant by that is that they all seem to already be familiar with Kinder Eggs, from being overseas a lot. A lot of folks here used to do a year's tour in Germany. And we do have quite a few Germans married to American soldiers here as well. In fact, the reason I knew about them to begin with is a friend of mine is married to a retired soldier and she was with me at the restaurant and saw them-and promptly bought some.
posted by konolia at 1:01 PM on August 10, 2008


Alles klar, danke konolia.
posted by tellurian at 5:12 PM on August 10, 2008


I have never seen these before. Ever.

If the toy is "inside" the chocolate, is it not all messy and sticky and gross?

How do you remove the toy? Do you have to suck the chocolate off of it?

Nothing about this product looks attractive to me now, or would have to my 8 year old self either.
posted by Ynoxas at 10:08 PM on August 10, 2008


Well, R'ing TFA would help. The toy is inside a small capsule which is inside the hollow chocolate egg.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 10:26 PM on August 10, 2008


I love Kinder Surprise so, so, so much. My husband bought me a case from Canada once, and I am able to find them in the smaller markets even out here in the Chicago burbs. But that Kinder Maxi Surprise -- well, I know what's on my Christmas list this year.
posted by sugarfish at 6:11 AM on August 11, 2008


dnab: I did read TFA, and I also went to sites looking for pictures of the damn thing.

There is a capsule, but there is still the chocolate problem. Do you suck the chocolate off the capsule? I see that as only a very minor improvement. And if so, then I would also agree it is a choking hazard, and blatant at that.

Sometimes people still have questions or need expansion even after reading a web page about something they've never encountered.
posted by Ynoxas at 7:57 AM on August 11, 2008


I haven't been in Chicago a year, and I can still tell you half a dozen places to find them. It's requisite knowledge for me anytime I move.

One of the places in question also sells amazing hummus and fresh pitas. If I trusted their milk, I'd never need to shop anywhere else!
posted by SpiffyRob at 8:09 AM on August 11, 2008


There is a capsule, but there is still the chocolate problem. Do you suck the chocolate off the capsule?

No. It would have to be a really, really hot day and the entire egg would have to collapse for this to be possible. It's a structurally sound egg, so no sucking. This picture might help to explain.
posted by goo at 1:17 PM on August 11, 2008


Fantastic goo! I did something similar for din din in the Freddo Frog post. I suggest we start a service - PICS4U 'Providing illustrative confectionery shots for users'.
posted by tellurian at 10:27 PM on August 12, 2008


Heh - nice, tellurian! But now I'm singing "they call me Caramello" and probably won't be able to get it out of my head for days.
posted by goo at 1:59 PM on August 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


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