...and that little boy's smile... with that slow southern style

August 12, 2008 4:42 PM

With black velvet paintings of George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, Donald Rumsfeld, Jack Abramoff, Phil Spector, Jon Benet Ramsey, Jesus and a Big Rig, Erik Estrada, Charles Nelson Reilly, Wil Wheaton as Wesley Crusher, and everyone's favorite physicist, Stephen Hawking, velvet paintings aren't just of Elvis, Unicorns, and Aztec Indians anymore.
posted by premiumpolar (38 comments total)

I'm not so sure that's Jesus and a big rig. Looks more like Michael McDonald. Still, pretty classy!
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:47 PM on August 12, 2008

I want a velvet painting of this.

Signed,

I Really Do Have a Black Velvet Painting of Elvis
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 4:50 PM on August 12, 2008 [1 favorite]

What the hell happened to Jesus's eye? Looks like he pulled a beam out of it or something.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:51 PM on August 12, 2008

Oh dear.
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 4:52 PM on August 12, 2008 [2 favorites]

I think that Charles Nelson Reilly piece rivals the works of Leonardo da Vinci or Michelangelo
posted by Mr Mister at 4:54 PM on August 12, 2008 [2 favorites]

I can't wait for the guys in the van to sell these in the vacant lot.
posted by birdherder at 4:56 PM on August 12, 2008

Oh dear.

*turns head quickly away from monitor, tea shooting from nostrils*
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:58 PM on August 12, 2008

Bright blue jacket. Red polka dot shirt. White kerchief. Enormous glasses.

It's hard to imagine that there was indeed a time when that actually, you know, worked.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 4:58 PM on August 12, 2008

I believe this is the first and unfortunately the last time I will see "Eric Estrada" in the same sentence as "George W. Bush."
posted by clearly at 5:00 PM on August 12, 2008

If you look at the Bush one under a black light, it looks like he's thinking.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 5:00 PM on August 12, 2008 [7 favorites]

Stephen Hawking is not my favorite physicist.
posted by clearly at 5:02 PM on August 12, 2008

These pictures would all be much more appealing if traced into the head of a nice big glass of Guinness & Champagne.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:05 PM on August 12, 2008

Jesus and Bush will go great on either side of my Molly Hatchet Flirtin' With Disaster poster.
posted by The Straightener at 5:06 PM on August 12, 2008

I dunno, the Rummy portrait doesn't really capture his annoyed-at-having-to-explain-the-obvious-to-fools grimace.
posted by longsleeves at 5:13 PM on August 12, 2008

And why does Wesley Crusher look like a thirty-five year old Mexican lounge lizard?
posted by longsleeves at 5:18 PM on August 12, 2008 [1 favorite]

This original velvet painting was hand-painted by a Genuine Authentic Professional Mexican Velvet Elvis Artist exclusively for The Patriot Portrait Collectibles of Indignico Inc. in Tijuana Mexico in Early 2007. It is a Limited-Issue Velvet Republican from the collectible black velvet portraiture series known as "The ALL-NEW Anything-Goes 2004 Re-Election Collection of Limited Issue Velvet Republicans" (Velvet Republican #257/1000).


The Limited-Issue Velvet Republicans of Indignico Inc.
Quality You Can FEEL.


Visit The Home of The Limited-Issue Velvet Republicans and get yours today! ... Before it's TOO LATE*

Isn't It Time You Paid Your Respects?

* Supplies are Strictly Limited. Resources Are Quickly Dwindling. Life Is Short.
posted by fixedgear at 5:18 PM on August 12, 2008

Tasteful ...
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 5:22 PM on August 12, 2008

Hillary looks more like Ellen DeGeneres, but is still light years ahead of Zell Miller in terms of look-at-ability.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 5:24 PM on August 12, 2008

My mom does mid 19th century German folk art called theorems, which are stencils on velvet (usually still lifes of fruit and such.) 99% of people when told this ask, "Like the velvet Elvises?"

This is awesome.
posted by schyler523 at 5:46 PM on August 12, 2008

I like my velvet paintings less tasteful.
posted by Weighted Companion Cube at 5:54 PM on August 12, 2008

Frances (Fanny) Trollope, mother of novelist Anthony, recounts in her 1832 book, Domestic Manners of the Americans, an offer by its apparent originators to teach her this recondite and highly desired distinctively American skill:

After breakfast, being much in want of amusement, I seated myself by her, and entered into conversation. I found her nothing loth, and in about a minute and a half she put a card into my hand, setting forth, that she taught the art of painting upon velvet in all its branches.

She stated to me, with great volubility, that no one but herself and her daughter knew any thing of this invaluable branch of art; but that for twenty-five dollars they were willing to communicate all they knew.

We've been doing this since at least 1832.
posted by jamjam at 6:11 PM on August 12, 2008

MeFi fave WFMU has quite a collection of velvet paintings in their building.
posted by plastic_animals at 6:20 PM on August 12, 2008

For more velvety goodness, visit oh-so-trendy Portland, Oregon!

(Disclaimer: I just can't bring myself to actually go see it in person)
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:24 PM on August 12, 2008

Shouldn't there be a Photoshop filter or plug in for this? I mean the demand is there.
posted by Gungho at 6:29 PM on August 12, 2008

Derek Chatwood is mining a similar vein.
posted by Huplescat at 7:09 PM on August 12, 2008

This is very good, but Wesley Crusher should really be painted on crushed velvet.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 7:21 PM on August 12, 2008

My favorite, I wish I had this to hang over my headboard.
posted by Daddy-O at 8:13 PM on August 12, 2008 [1 favorite]

Daddy-O: My favorite, I wish I had this to hang over my headboard.

So then...you're saying you don't want to get laid ever again?
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:32 PM on August 12, 2008 [1 favorite]

And why does Wesley Crusher look like a thirty-five year old Mexican lounge lizard?

Is this a trick question?
posted by odinsdream at 8:36 PM on August 12, 2008

I want one of the Virgin Mary cradling the baby Dale Earnhardt Sr., set against a mountain lightning storm, with howling wolves on the ground and screaming eagles flying overheard
posted by elmwood at 9:41 PM on August 12, 2008

They painted Wil Wheaton's bad side. He had a very cute ass.
posted by Goofyy at 5:49 AM on August 13, 2008

Our blogs can't repel artwork of that magnitude!
posted by Mastercheddaar at 5:59 AM on August 13, 2008

Am I a terrible person if I want a velvet rendition of Brandon Bird art? Not that I don't respect Mr. Bird.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:33 AM on August 13, 2008

Frankly, I'd like a Velvet Painting of LA PEQUENA!!!

Think about it, wouldn't that be the best velvet painting ever, ever?
posted by mrzer0 at 7:29 AM on August 13, 2008

What? No mention of El Andy?
posted by kittyprecious at 7:34 AM on August 13, 2008

Karl Rove?? Does anyone really like him enough to hang his picture on their wall?

Also, does anyone want to Jack Abram off badly enough to buy a painting of him?
posted by TreeHugger at 7:42 AM on August 13, 2008

Karl Rove?? Does anyone really like him enough to hang his picture on their wall?

If these folks did a painting of him being frogmarched to the old pokey, or his mugshot, not only would I buy it, I'd make it a small shrine in my house, with lighted candles and fruit offerings.

But only if it were velveteen depiction of an actual event.

IHOPEIHOPEIHOPE
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 10:40 AM on August 13, 2008

I'm proud to say that I have a velvet painting by this artist. (But it's not of Snoopy, it's a deer prancing through the forest.)
posted by Dr. Send at 10:24 AM on August 14, 2008