The Booze of Attraction

August 14, 2008 3:20 PM

Science! "[S]cientists have proven that 'beer goggles' are real — other people really do look more attractive to us if we have been drinking. Surprisingly, the beer goggles effect was not limited to just the opposite sex among the ostensibly straight volunteers recruited for the study — they also rated people from their own sex as more attractive."
posted by ericb (50 comments total)

Poll: Have 'beer goggles' ever led you astray?
posted by ericb at 3:23 PM on August 14, 2008

What did you shay about my ashtray?
posted by Kabanos at 3:25 PM on August 14, 2008

Ok put the beer down now you lot, back to curing cancer.
posted by nudar at 3:26 PM on August 14, 2008 [4 favorites]

Next up -- the coyote morning. Will gnawing your own arm off actually work?
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 3:28 PM on August 14, 2008 [2 favorites]

This just in: water makes you less thirsty.
posted by Aquaman at 3:28 PM on August 14, 2008 [5 favorites]

Next up -- the coyote morning.

Lest we also forget The Walk of Shame.
posted by ericb at 3:30 PM on August 14, 2008

This just in: water makes you less thirsty. -- posted by Aquaman...

Eponysterical.
posted by ericb at 3:31 PM on August 14, 2008 [1 favorite]

...they also rated people from their own sex as more attractive.

So that's why I always end up going home with myself.

Talk about awkward the next morning though, yeesh. "So honey, how do you like your cof-...oh, that's right, I just masturbated last night. Like every night."
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:43 PM on August 14, 2008 [5 favorites]

Where's the NoShit tag?
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 3:51 PM on August 14, 2008 [1 favorite]

This news is one of the latest results in the peer-reviewed journal Duh.
posted by grouse at 3:52 PM on August 14, 2008 [2 favorites]

I know I always looked great after a 12-pack.
posted by netbros at 3:52 PM on August 14, 2008

Surprisingly, the beer goggles effect was not limited to just the opposite sex among the ostensibly straight volunteers recruited for the study — they also rated people from their own sex as more attractive."

Surprising? Hell, it isn't even limited to humans. How do you explain people actually consuming donairs?
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 3:56 PM on August 14, 2008 [3 favorites]

Beer also looks better with beer goggles. It's a slippery slope.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 4:04 PM on August 14, 2008 [1 favorite]

I've never understood why it's the walk of shame - is it that if you're not having breakfast with this person it's assumed that they're really ugly?
posted by porpoise at 4:12 PM on August 14, 2008

THE GOGGLES, THEY DO.... hey, sweetheart, you got a boyfriend?
posted by louche mustachio at 4:13 PM on August 14, 2008

A Conservative former member of the Welsh assembly blogged about this in a gloriously inappropriate fashion. I think he needs a MeFi account.
posted by imperium at 4:15 PM on August 14, 2008

Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance.
posted by Citizen Premier at 4:16 PM on August 14, 2008

No @#&!, Sherlock
posted by homunculus at 4:19 PM on August 14, 2008

If I paid the tuition for an education that resulted in me confusing "greater attraction" with "lower standards" I would ask for my money back. Pathetic.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 4:25 PM on August 14, 2008 [1 favorite]

The drunker you get the better she looks, the better he looks, the better you look. We need all the help we can get.

(actually, one night in college, I was at an off campus dive and I heard a tremendous crash from the men's room and a few minutes later, I saw some drunk being led out the door gingerly by a few of his buddies. The next night I was back in the same bar and went to take a leak. Where the mirror used to be was a sheet of plywood on which some wit had scrawled "I never looked better!")
posted by jonmc at 4:49 PM on August 14, 2008

also, on my first date with my wife, I bought her a few shots of Jager. I've been keeping her drunk ever since.
posted by jonmc at 4:53 PM on August 14, 2008 [1 favorite]

I've been drinking all day and looking at myself in the mirror, and I have to say that I look FANTASTIC.
posted by mcstayinskool at 4:58 PM on August 14, 2008

I've been keeping her drunk ever since.

You, sir, have cracked the code for successful cohabitation. That's bestseller material right there.
posted by turgid dahlia at 4:58 PM on August 14, 2008

not sure why anyone would find it "surprising" that a straight dude finds other dudes more attractive when drunk.
posted by mano at 4:59 PM on August 14, 2008

You, sir, have cracked the code for successful cohabitation. That's bestseller material right there.

I'll thank you n the acknowledgements page. (actually, one of the few times I've ever been publicly hit on was by an incredibly sozzled late-forties barfly named Vivian. It was a really hot rainy day and I was trapped in my local dive and the AC had gone out. After detailing her booze and pot intake for the day she said, "Yer kinda a hawt young guy, but you said you had a girlfriend. Otherwise, I'd do ya!" Then she opened her purse to show me that the heat had forced her to remove her panties. I've been a regular there ever since).
posted by jonmc at 5:03 PM on August 14, 2008

At Lyco, it wasn't always a walk of shame.


Sometimes, it was a STRIDE OF PRIDE.
posted by sperose at 5:04 PM on August 14, 2008

Two years ago, science proved to itself that Pluto is not a planet, by changing the definition of the word to fit their current needs. So, I'm not at all surprised to find scientists are currently unlocking the secrets behind beer goggles. They have obviously had a lot of experience in this area.
posted by ZachsMind at 5:11 PM on August 14, 2008 [1 favorite]

they also rated people from their own sex as more attractive.

This explains why my marine buddies like to wrestle when they're drunk.

Calling marine corps behavior homoerotic - now there's something I only do on the internet!
posted by naju at 5:24 PM on August 14, 2008 [1 favorite]

not sure why anyone would find it "surprising" that a straight dude finds other dudes more attractive when drunk.

Hell, a couple years of my sex life was predicated on this very notion.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 5:33 PM on August 14, 2008 [2 favorites]

If you see the goggles, contact the police.
posted by StickyCarpet at 5:47 PM on August 14, 2008

Sometimes, it was a STRIDE OF PRIDE

For me it's always been the Shuffle Of Mild Existential Discontent, And Also Where Is My Other Sock?
posted by turgid dahlia at 6:05 PM on August 14, 2008 [7 favorites]

For me it's usually been the Saunter Of I Just Got Laid But Crap, This Hangover Sucks And He Didn't Make Me Breakfast.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 6:19 PM on August 14, 2008

Don't feel bad. For a lot of people it's simply a 'perp walk.'
posted by jonmc at 6:21 PM on August 14, 2008

I'm drunk, and I'm gorgeous!!
posted by grippycat at 6:23 PM on August 14, 2008

I'm just drunk, but this blue screen is stunning. mainly because it keeps hitting me in the forehead.
posted by jonmc at 6:25 PM on August 14, 2008

Also, today my corner store ran out of the Camel Robust 2-for-1, so I had to get Marlboro Virginia Blend. If this keeps up, I'll wind up working my way through the whole Ghetto Nicotine Pantheon.
posted by jonmc at 6:29 PM on August 14, 2008 [1 favorite]

Nuh-uh. You won't hit ghetto-nicotine-superstardom until you're buying polish "Marlboros" in a parking lot near the airport from some dude off of craigslist...... or so I hear.
posted by grippycat at 6:45 PM on August 14, 2008

I saw some lady today with a pack of 'Broncos.' That was a new one on me.
posted by jonmc at 6:57 PM on August 14, 2008

grouse: This news is one of the latest results in the peer-reviewed journal Duh.

...Or was it a beer-reviewed journal?

"Dude - man - this paper is totally awesome!! U-S-A! U-S-A! Woooo!"
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:05 PM on August 14, 2008

My wife must have gotten beer goggle Lasik.
posted by popechunk at 7:16 PM on August 14, 2008 [1 favorite]

For me, it's a Victory Lap.
posted by Space Kitty at 7:34 PM on August 14, 2008

Y'all really don't know just how much us Scientemathingerpeople drink, do you?

I'll make a wager that if you cull the bottom half of science graduate students based on drinking ability for whatever reason (ie., they don't drink at all, period, or that their 5'6" and 98lbs), the remainder can hold it own against any national fraternity+sister-sorority.

The edge goes to the frats/sororities since they can afford to drink on a regular basis to stay in drinking shape, but if you fund both teams for 3 months of ad libitum drinking... the edge goes to the grad students.

I'd imagine that the odds would be even better if you threw in some ringers from the humanities departments.
posted by porpoise at 7:35 PM on August 14, 2008

You've blinded me.
posted by sluglicker at 7:49 PM on August 14, 2008

porpoise:

also, Russian and other assorted East European physics or comp sci grad students. One of my favorite tribes from grad school.
posted by bumpkin at 8:00 PM on August 14, 2008

I really should've studied science, so I could punch out obviousness like this and get my name in the papers.

Also, free beer.
posted by pompomtom at 8:56 PM on August 14, 2008

Drunk is terrific. However, everything after is hell.
posted by humannaire at 10:12 PM on August 14, 2008

Is it me, or has the quality of "science" declined?
posted by tommasz at 7:02 AM on August 15, 2008

I was a ballerina. It is true. Symmetry makes us pretty. But nobody in the world is perfectly symmetrical except for Kate Moss. Photographers say she is a great model for that reason even though she may not be all that "pretty".
posted by johannahdeschanel at 7:38 AM on August 15, 2008

I love Pete Doherty
posted by johannahdeschanel at 7:44 AM on August 15, 2008

The Six Beer Theory
posted by Pronoiac at 5:22 PM on August 15, 2008