Comments on: Your unborn child as produce

Your unborn child as produce

Ogre Lawless — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 10:30:55 -0800

Your unborn child as produce - You'll never look at chard the same way again.

By: DU

DU — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 10:36:35 -0800

For our latest baby, my wife (who frequented the site) kept reporting the size in these units. "It's a lima bean now!" And then trying to interpolate between weeks. "It's like partway from a lemon to a grapefruit. So I guess an orange."

By: MrGuilt

MrGuilt — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 10:42:41 -0800

In 2004, my wife let me bring home a 12-week-old abandon kitten I found while on a bike ride. She was about six months pregnant at the time. The vet weight him, and we measured him. She was getting a "your baby at this stage of development" e-mail each week, and the note for that week indicated the baby was roughly the size of the kitten. They pretty much stayed in pace until sometime after our daughter was born. The handy effect of this was, as I assembled beds and strollers and what-not, I could plop the kitten in it, and make sure it could support the weight. I suppose that means I tested on animals. (He got known for those months as the "practice baby," mostly for stuff like that. Or, if he could get into something, we took a closer look at baby-proofing it.) Picture of them, while they were still roughly the same size.

By: MrGuilt

MrGuilt — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 10:43:44 -0800

The vet weighed him, not weight him. I am literate; just fast on the "Post Comment" button.

By: Damn That Television

Damn That Television — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 10:44:39 -0800

Somewhere, Gallagher chuckles menacingly to himself as he hits Ctrl+D

By: mcstayinskool

mcstayinskool — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 10:45:40 -0800

new ProLife slogan: Human life begins at poppy seed, and don't even get me started at Kumquat.

By: Foci for Analysis

Foci for Analysis — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 10:46:35 -0800

MrGuilt writes: Picture of them, while they were still roughly the same size. Awww, too adorable :)

By: Rinku

Rinku — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 10:47:34 -0800

I never really looked at chard to begin with.

By: empath

empath — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 10:59:06 -0800

In 2004, my wife let me bring home a 12-week-old abandon kitten I found while on a bike ride. She was about six months pregnant at the time. I totally misinterpreted the antecedent for she, which made the rest of the story very confusing.

By: blue_beetle

blue_beetle — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 11:00:52 -0800

I don't know where you get your vegetables from, but honestly you might want to look into something a little less... organic.

By: boo_radley

boo_radley — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 11:01:13 -0800

Well, now I've got the phrase "Chard baby" stuck in my head.

By: binturong

binturong — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 11:01:23 -0800

I took your header to mean that the local grocery store now has a fetus section in its fresh food aisles. Appealing more to the pro-biotic than the pro-life customer.

By: emjaybee

emjaybee — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 11:07:28 -0800

By: elwoodwiles

elwoodwiles — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 11:10:15 -0800

the local grocery store now has a fetus section in its fresh food aisles. Yeah, but I just buy my babies in bulk at Costco.

By: Artw

Artw — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 11:10:23 -0800

At birth our child must have been composed mainly of Starbucks De-Caff Mocha Frappachinos. Which, apparently, you CAN live off of for weeks on end. Oh, and the local cat we sort-of adopted while my wife was pregnant, and that she fretted over quite a lot ("He's meowing! Is he okay???") went pretty much instantaneously from substitute baby to just-a-cat on our daughters birth.

By: carter

carter — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 11:15:14 -0800

My sister-in-law's boy was 11.5 lbs at birth. At the time, me and mrs. carter usefully compared this with a 11 lb frozen turkey.

By: carter

carter — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 11:17:36 -0800

And that's a big-ass turkey, if you care to heft one the next time you're at the supermarket.

By: Greg Nog

Greg Nog — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 11:22:50 -0800

Started out as a cute idea, but the execution was kind of horrifying, frankly. Pregnancy dreams are weird enough as it is; do pregnant women need more nightmare fuel about birthing a (shudder) pineapple? This week, your baby is as big as Henry Kissinger's fist, filled with bot flies! Get the bassinet ready, mom!

By: Mayor Curley

Mayor Curley — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 11:24:31 -0800

My wife's at 24 weeks right now-- the fetus is the length of a big ear of corn. Which is doesn't account for that massive stomach. What else is she hiding in there?

By: These Premises Are Alarmed

These Premises Are Alarmed — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 11:28:11 -0800

I'm with the Mayor. If my wife has a rutabaga in there, what is it, wrapped in bacon? Miles of bacon?

By: availablelight

availablelight — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 11:46:03 -0800

I read the FPP and was terrified this was going to link to some creepy new Anne Geddes project.

By: norm

norm — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 12:02:32 -0800

My baby was born at mango!

By: Miko

Miko — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 12:06:09 -0800

I wish they hadn't switched back and forth so often between weight equivalent and size/length. It was weird watching shrimp make an appearance between lime and lemon. On the other hand, hey, ceviche!

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 12:07:59 -0800

Now, when I make a tropical cocktail, I will constantly think what size fetus I am adding to the mix. Thank you, interweb, for fucking up my synapses with this one. That being said, no Mai Tai is complete without a wedge of six-month-old.

By: artifarce

artifarce — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 12:24:54 -0800

When they use pumpkin as the last fruit, they CLEARLY mean a cute little pie pumkin. Some of momma's pumkins are hefty County Fair-winnin' pumkins. That you need a tractor to haul.

By: hexxed

hexxed — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 12:31:59 -0800

Very educational, not only did I find I know nothing about fetal development but, I also know very little about fruits and veggies.

By: TheNewWazoo

TheNewWazoo — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 12:34:47 -0800

" Poppy seed to pumpkin: How big is your ~~baby~~zygote?" FTFY.

By: rhymer

rhymer — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 12:40:50 -0800

33 years: your baby is now the size of a world champion pumpkin and weighs in at over 900lbs. He hasn't been to the toilet unassisted for years and TV channels are queuing up to make "educational" documentaries about him.

By: grouse

grouse — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:04:08 -0800

Their web site doesn't work very well. At least for me. I can't slide the scroll bar to get more than the initial images.

By: The Bellman

The Bellman — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:05:50 -0800

Both of my boys were stuck for a long time at durian. Incredibly sweet. Incredibly smelly. Incredibly dangerous.

By: fantabulous timewaster

fantabulous timewaster — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:07:16 -0800

norm, jesus. I thought my pineapple was tiny. I far prefer newborns the size of newborns. at least neither of us had a 12-week-old kitten.

By: jamaro

jamaro — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:12:14 -0800

Their web site doesn't work very well. Me too, when using Safari. In firefox though, I'm confused: I frequently shop for both spaghetti squash and mangos, yet my spaghetti squash have always been significantly larger than my mangos.

By: arcticwoman

arcticwoman — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:22:47 -0800

I'm with jamaro - it's the size of a spaghetti squash and then it shrinks to be mango? What?

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:42:58 -0800

My sister-in-law's boy was 11.5 lbs at birth. Holy crap.

By: jamaro

jamaro — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:49:04 -0800

My sister-in-law's boy was 11.5 lbs at birth. My friend described laboring to deliver her 11# baby as, "Trying to push a pot roast through a Cheerio." Holy crap. Exactly what it feels like.

By: Mental Wimp

Mental Wimp — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:02:48 -0800

My baby was born at mango! norm, did he really weigh only a pound? I hope he's powering through any rough spots. He looks like tough protoplasm to me. Hopefully a wild toddler both delighting and bedeviling your days at this point. My first was big by comparison, 1.5 kg, but back in those days that meant she was touch and go. She survived hyaline membrane disease & patent ductus arteriosis, and later, at 5 y.o., a Wilm's tumor, but now she's 30 y.o. with an MPH and a real job.

By: ND¢

ND¢ — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:23:45 -0800

My wife signed up for the BabyCenter e-mails during our recent pregnancy and they were similar to this and would say "Your baby is the size of a kidney bean" or "Your baby is the size of a rutabaga" so we got in the habit of calling the baby by that name for the week when it was valid. Instead of referring to the baby by her name or as "the baby" or "the fetus" (or "the parasite" as a friend of ours did) I would say "How is the kidney bean doing?" or she would say "The baby shrimp has a foot right in my ribcage today." I and all those I associate with are pretty much adorable.

By: paddysat

paddysat — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:35:10 -0800

Did anyone else find it strange that in order to compare the size of a fetus to that of a vegetable that they had to put the vegetable next to a quarter just to remind you how big the vegetable is?

By: norm

norm — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:36:06 -0800

norm, did he really weigh only a pound? He was 1 lb 4 oz (~560 grams). And yeah, he's doing great now. His blog link is in my profile.

By: miss lynnster

miss lynnster — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:49:40 -0800

Wait, so how is a medium shrimp bigger than a lime? Or do babies grow, shrink, and grow again? Creeeeepy!

By: quin

quin — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:51:38 -0800

MrGuilt : (He got known for those months as the "practice baby," mostly for stuff like that. Or, if he could get into something, we took a closer look at baby-proofing it.) A good idea, because I can imagine that there is nothing worse than coming home and finding your infant child on the top of the fridge, looking at you like "What? It's warm up here." Picture of them, while they were still roughly the same size. Adorable.

By: zardoz

zardoz — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 17:13:29 -0800

Awesome. My wife is at 9 weeks now. That explains why she's eating so many grapes.

By: femmme

femmme — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 18:18:04 -0800

very interesting...

By: ericbop

ericbop — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 19:17:20 -0800

How big is your baby? vs. How big is your zygote? It depends on your understanding of when leaf begins.

By: desuetude

desuetude — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 19:31:02 -0800

I'm confused as to how a shrimp is larger than a lime and how an ear of corn is larger than a large mango.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 22:48:47 -0800

I've known pregnant women who refer to their fetus as "the bean." I was briefly pregnant once, and I referred to the lil' thing as "Spud." Some women grow beans, apparently I was growing a potato. The fact that it didn't take is evidence that humans were not meant to birth potatoes. I take the lack of a potato in this slideshow as irrefutable scientific proof for my theory. Should I try to gestate again, I shall try harder for a rutabaga. (Also: MrGuilt's story and accompanying picture have nearly slayed me with cute.)

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 22:50:23 -0800

(I'd also like to note that the constant comparison to a quarter is handy guide to "I have to push WHAT through THAT?!")

By: Mental Wimp

Mental Wimp — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 13:47:45 -0800

His blog link is in my profile Thanks. Woody seems like a great kid. Warms my heart.

By: WCityMike

WCityMike — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 14:11:17 -0800

MrGuilt: "In 2004, my wife let me bring home a 12-week-old abandon kitten I found while on a bike ride. She was about six months pregnant at the time. " You know, it's absolutely remarkable how badly I misinterpreted this comment. I assumed "she" was referring to the kitten, not the wife, and I thought you were speaking about a kitten that was somehow magically inseminated in the womb, a three-month-old kitten born six months pregnant. When you said they were "both the same size," I thought you were referring to the theoretical kitten-mommy and kitten-baby. Wow. I need some caffeine.

By: Sys Rq

Sys Rq — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 14:46:50 -0800

I've known pregnant women who refer to their fetus as "the bean." Were they named Courtney?