It tastes like burning

August 26, 2008 10:06 AM

Pixifoods: Any food substance that is highly pleasant to the taste as a child and tastes shockingly unpleasant once you become an adult.
posted by sevenyearlurk (264 comments total)

McDonald's chicken nuggets. They were the ultimate in fine dining as an eight year old.

Also, I developed an allergy to sweet peppers, with puberty. They went from a favourite veggie, to burning my tongue and inflaming my lips like a thai chili.
posted by Phalene at 10:09 AM on August 26, 2008

Hating on KFC and Fig Newtons upsets me, but calling out Necco Wafters calms me back down. Chalk indeed.

In a sense, vacuuming is a pixifood.
posted by cortex at 10:11 AM on August 26, 2008

Fig Newtons and Pop Tarts (flavor depending, of course) are still pretty good.
posted by lumensimus at 10:12 AM on August 26, 2008

McDonald's chicken nuggets

FTFY.

Now whenever I eat fast food my entire body feels like it's coated in slime for the rest of the day and I have this horrible taste in my mouth. I have actually chosen to go without food for a meal rather than eat fast food on a few occasions recently.
posted by DU at 10:13 AM on August 26, 2008 [5 favorites has favorites]

Spaghetti-O’s
As a Kid: Well, kids love the taste (and Moms love the nutrition!)
As an adult: Plastic and ketchup.

This overlooks the fact that kids love eating plastic and ketchup.
posted by Damn That Television at 10:15 AM on August 26, 2008 [6 favorites has favorites]

Whoa whoa whoa--there is nothing wrong with FunDip. FunDip is powdered awesome. And Fig Newtons were never good. I mean, figs? Srsly? Same with pink snowballs. The pariahs of the packaged cake food aisle.
posted by DU at 10:16 AM on August 26, 2008 [6 favorites has favorites]

I still like a lot of these things.
posted by brain_drain at 10:17 AM on August 26, 2008 [7 favorites has favorites]

Would be better with pics.
posted by mattbucher at 10:17 AM on August 26, 2008

Fig Newtons are Satan's joke to cookie-eaters. I would not eat them even as a child. My sister seemed to like them, but I fixed that by telling her that "fig" was just another word for "crushed-up worms."
posted by contessa at 10:18 AM on August 26, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

I can't remember what they were called, but I remember being a fan of hard candies that had fizzing powder in the center (ah, these, I think). The memory is making me gag a little.
posted by sevenyearlurk at 10:19 AM on August 26, 2008

Cap'n Crunch
As a Kid: Crunchy Sugar!
As an Adult: A bowlful of razors!
posted by Parasite Unseen at 10:22 AM on August 26, 2008 [43 favorites has favorites]

Kool-Aid. Certain evangelists must have been really mesmerizing to make people drink that stuff.
posted by Cranberry at 10:22 AM on August 26, 2008 [4 favorites has favorites]

I still like Fig Newtons a lot. They're really good.

But the author's right about a lot of this. I remember the subtle flavoring of many of those foods, and they're not there at all to my dulled adult senses.

Oh KFC is absolutely horrible now. Late last year or early this year, they went to a new oil that tastes crappy, and then raised the amount of MSG in their batter a whole bunch to try to compensate. So it's gross AND it makes me sick. Win-win, I suppose, since it's just so bad for humans to eat that stuff. :)
posted by Malor at 10:22 AM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

When I was really young, my parents and every adult relative I knew was calling dinuguan "chocolate meat", I guess to make it really appealing to innocents like me. My taste buds quickly changed when I found out what it was really made from.
posted by jaimev at 10:25 AM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Necco wafers are awesome. I still love them as an adult. In fact, years ago I had a girlfriend move to Boston, and one day shortly thereafter we were walking around being tourists when we came upon the old Necco factory, I think in Somerville or there abouts. I had no idea it was there, and I fell down on my knees in awe at being at what I thought was the source of Necco wafer heaven. My girlfriend thought I was insane. I should have known right at that moment that we never would work out as a couple.
posted by procrastination at 10:26 AM on August 26, 2008 [4 favorites has favorites]

Penrose sausages are my nominee. Nothing like a hot pickled sausage on a hot summer day, poolside, preferably.

And I've always thought Necco wafers tasted like Tums.
posted by MrMoonPie at 10:27 AM on August 26, 2008

The pink slab of cardboard that they called gum in packs of baseball cards. We ate it anyway but good lord, I can't imagine what it would taste like now with refined adult taste buds.
posted by Ber at 10:27 AM on August 26, 2008

They forgot the eponymous Pixi Sticks. The last day before Christmas vacation someone would always smuggle a bagful of the giant Pixi Sticks into school, and we would basically have a raw sugar-fueled bender that always ended in tears and vomit.

Good times.
posted by rusty at 10:28 AM on August 26, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

Excuse me. I am going to go eat a bowl of Count Chocula and collect my thoughts.
posted by everichon at 10:28 AM on August 26, 2008

This person's mouth is broken.
posted by oddman at 10:28 AM on August 26, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

This overlooks the fact that kids love eating plastic and ketchup.

Me and one of my sisters begged, begged, begged our older sister one summer day to take us to the store so we could get Spaghetti-O's. We'd never had them, and we reaaaalllly wanted to have them because clearly they were an awesome fun food that we should be allowed to have.

So our sister walked us to the store, and we got a can of the stuff, and we took it home. She heated it up for us, and it was awful. Just, seriously, yow. One bite each and we were done. We'd grown up on real pasta in good sauce; I'm not sure what we were expecting, but it wasn't that dreck.
posted by cortex at 10:28 AM on August 26, 2008 [6 favorites has favorites]

Also: wierd that such a list would omit pop rocks, AKA a child's first introduction to chemical reactions happening right on their tongues.
posted by contessa at 10:28 AM on August 26, 2008

Was the Necco factory still operating? I thought they had made all of the Necco wafers back in WW II and just changed the wrapper every now and then.
posted by tommasz at 10:29 AM on August 26, 2008 [13 favorites has favorites]

I've always liked fig newtons. Also, I recently tried the low-fat version and they were surprisingly good.
posted by JBennett at 10:34 AM on August 26, 2008

And Fig Newtons were never good. I mean, figs? Srsly? Same with pink snowballs. The pariahs of the packaged cake food aisle.

Wow, your tongue must be about as useful to you as your vestigial tail.

And yes—kids have horrible, horrible taste. Not everything goes better with ketchup, you little freaks. And the crust is, in fact, the best part of those insipid white slabs of dough your mom smears your pb&j on for you.
posted by Atom Eyes at 10:35 AM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

Cheetos. I even remember the moment when my tongue turned against them. I haven't eaten one in two decades.
posted by Prospero at 10:36 AM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Is there a term for the opposite? Food that was horrible as a child that is now somehow edible after the corruption of the aging process. Beer, brussel sprouts, asparagus.
posted by destro at 10:36 AM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

Fig Newtons are great, but they are at their best with honey slathered on top. Sometimes I think my tongue has some growing up to do.
posted by invitapriore at 10:37 AM on August 26, 2008

I'm not so fond of fingernails and the skin around them anymore. Snot remains pretty delicious, though.
posted by Dumsnill at 10:40 AM on August 26, 2008 [14 favorites has favorites]

destro: fartfoods. Corruption is a good way to describe that process. I don't know what else could account for the fact that bitter has become my favorite flavor type.
posted by invitapriore at 10:40 AM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

Inviting people to talk about stuff they liked / didn't like is (like) magic formula #1 for getting a bazillion comments on your blog, isn't it?
posted by Wolfdog at 10:40 AM on August 26, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

Ooh, I remembered another one: Alphagetti. Probably no different than spaghettios but I never had those as a kid whereas I had alphagetti all the time. I actually bought a can when I was an undergrad hoping for nostalgic goodness and it was awful.
posted by sevenyearlurk at 10:42 AM on August 26, 2008

Fig Newtons are great, but they are at their best with honey slathered on top.
Honey is OK. Have you ever had them atop a mound of the desecrated bodies of your enemies?
posted by Wolfdog at 10:43 AM on August 26, 2008 [12 favorites has favorites]

and we would basically have a raw sugar-fueled bender that always ended in tears and vomit

There was a brief period in middle school when some of the guys I knew started snorting any powdered confection they could get their hands on. Pixi Stix were a gimme, yeah, but they also would take a pocket knife to sour patch kids and fireballs. There was a lot of yelling and technicolor sneezing.
posted by cortex at 10:44 AM on August 26, 2008 [9 favorites has favorites]

The thing about this blog is that it neglects the whole "Obama" phenomenon. How will this affect my taxes?

I know this is supposed to be a website for grownups, but I can see you there. Yeah, you. You know I'm talking to you. I'm on to you, kid. I know your dad walked away from the monitor for a sec to go polish his Ajax or tweak some CSS, and you thought you might get a quick look at some pictures of frogs having sex or something. It's all right, though, it's okay. The adults can't see anything this small, and your dad's not gonna be back until he's finished trimming that scratchy, wiry goatee of his. You're safe for a second, so listen to what I have to say:

You see that link up there? It's all about really awesome foods. Sno-Balls and Necco Wafers and KFC and stuff. Go on, read it. Then come back here. I'll wait.

Okay, you're back? Good. Now look at the comments above this. More adults, knocking some of the best foods in the world. I know, right? Messed UP!

This, kid, is the great and terrible secret of adulthood. You get to drive a car (awesome), and you get to own your very own dog and you can name it whatever you want (even Dracula), but now you see the tradeoff. They take out the piece of your brain that lets you experience good flavors. No one is entirely certain what they put in its place, but there are rumors that it's some kind of freaky dried turtle or something, which would explain why adults go so crazy over things like pecan-crusted tilapia and rare mushrooms.

You have the option to resist, but you'll need to be coy about it. Disguise yourself as best as you can, and maybe they'll forget about you, and leave your brain alone. Wear dark-colored shoes and UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you let anyone see you drawing pictures of imaginary bugs. You know how cool horses are? DON'T talk about it. And definitely don't mention how much better they'd be if they wore special Horse Goggles. That stuff's a dead giveaway. Blend in. Pretend martinis are better than milkshakes. Chuckle at New Yorker cartoons. I know, I know, there's nothing funny about them. You're gonna have to be a top-notch actor to pull this one off, but if you do it, you might just secretly be able to keep enjoying Fun Dip.

All right, kid, I gotta go. I think I hear your dad coming back. Just remember: it's within your power to resist. Stay rad, champ.

The subprime mortgage crisis is the greatest fiscal miscalculation since Watergate! When will we elect a leader capable of tackling inflationary discretion? I hope to see the answer to this on tonight's episode of The Wire.
posted by Greg Nog at 10:44 AM on August 26, 2008 [232 favorites has favorites]

I remember being a fan of hard candies that had fizzing powder in the center (ah, these, I think). The memory is making me gag a little.

Hey now, have you tried them lately, or is this just the memory? Cause fizz are still pretty cool.

But take sugar overload in any form. I clearly recall taking a piece of chocolate cake with thick, chocolate icing, and carefully eating only the cake -- so as to leave the icing for last -- this slab on the side and what was the top, with even the little wall of icing that had been between cake layers. As a kid, I did that often. As a teen, not so much. As an adult, it hurts my teeth to think about it.

I don't know what else could account for the fact that bitter has become my favorite flavor type.

Mmm. Another Guinness, please.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 10:47 AM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Funny, none of that stuff tasted good to me as a child, but I ate it all out of some sense of obligation; it's candy and must therefor be eaten. Same goes for chicken nuggets and KFC and beanie weenies and Spaghetti-Os; the TV says kids enjoy eating this junk. I am a kid. Therefor I must eat this junk.

'Cept for Fig Newtons. They rock and will continue to rock until the sun burns out and nothing but void and the awesomeness of Fig Newtons remains.
posted by lekvar at 10:49 AM on August 26, 2008

Man, I still eat Dinty Moore Beef Stew. Over Minute Rice. AND I eat KFC with great gusto. My husband is horrified. (His father LIVES for Necco Wafers.)

Greg Nog, I favorited that comment so hard, I peed a little.
posted by timetoevolve at 10:50 AM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

Yeah, I was wondering about PopRocks, too. They were my favorite as a kid, and now I'm shocked that I ever ate that. Also, does anyone else remember the candy jewelry? It sort of tasted like chalk, but, you know, you were rocking the jewelry-sugar combo. My daughter eats it now, and it's revolting.
posted by mitzyjalapeno at 10:51 AM on August 26, 2008

I think I'd say that of the things on this list that I ever liked, I still like most of them. Then again, I certainly can admit that I don't like any of them nearly as much as I did as a kid.

Sometimes that comes in the form of still enjoying them while eating them, but then feeling absolutely disgusting after. Fast food, Dinty Moore, SpaghettiOs. For me, it's SpaghettiOs WITH MEATBALLS. I will NOT eat SpaghettiOs without meatballs. Which works nicely with this list because the meatballs were simultaneously the best part and also very questionable as to whether they were even food. But man I loved those spongy little pieces of crap. Also the sauce tasted a bit different.

Dinty Moore--it does feel like eating dog food. It always has, even as a kid. But it's like..."mmm, if they made dog food that tasted good enough for people to eat, this is what it would be."

Is there a term for the opposite? Food that was horrible as a child that is now somehow edible after the corruption of the aging process.

Acquired tastes? Mustard, olives, most seafood. Then there's the stuff I liked as a kid and love even more now. Cheese, tea, clams.
posted by lampoil at 10:52 AM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

You know what I love? Fig NEWMAN's -- the Paul Newman brand of Fig Newtons. They are a delicious and healthy treat!
posted by Saxon Kane at 10:53 AM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

Domino's, Pizza Hut, Little Caesar's, and Chef Boyardee Pizza. My parents used to help me make Chef Boyardee Pizza every Friday night, and we'd sit around, eat, play Monopoly and watch Miami Vice or Sledge Hammer. I made one a couple of years ago and... no.

Kid's cereals with bright blue and green components now give me, ahem, gastric distress. It's a shame, though I shouldn't eat that crap anyway. Plain Cap'n Crunch is still A-OK in my book, though.

Nerds candy and Cheetos. One kills your teeth and the other kills your tongue.

The most egregious Pixifood has to be Coca-Cola. Even the fabled Mexican Coke doesn't taste like Coke did when I was a kid. And the bubbles don't go up my nose any more. That was half the fun!
posted by infinitewindow at 10:53 AM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

The secret to enjoying kid's cereal as an adult is to "cut" it with an unsweet variant (or as similar as you can get) so that you can enjoy the flavor without the overpowering sweetness:

Frosted Flakes + Corn Flakes
Lucky Charms + Cheerios
Cap'n Crunch + Corn Chex
etc...

It also helps if you're single. (Or, perhaps, helps you to BE single...)
posted by LordSludge at 10:56 AM on August 26, 2008 [7 favorites has favorites]

I find it interesting that the author's problem with Fun Dip was that it was "dip for kids," while this stuff really was dip for kids.
posted by cosmic osmo at 10:56 AM on August 26, 2008

Ber: "The pink slab of cardboard that they called gum in packs of baseball cards. We ate it anyway but good lord, I can't imagine what it would taste like now with refined adult taste buds."

I'm pretty sure that they haven't packaged gum in with baseball cards for a long time but yea, it was pretty horrid stuff.
posted by octothorpe at 10:57 AM on August 26, 2008

But the author's right about a lot of this. I remember the subtle flavoring of many of those foods, and they're not there at all to my dulled adult senses.


Its the other way around isn't it? Kids have no appreciation for subtlety so they crave enormous doses of sugar.

As an adult I dislike milk chocolate which I used to love as a kid. I prefer dark chocolate which balances the sweet and bitter. My favorite desserts nowadays aren't necessarily improved by "Add More Sugar!!"
posted by vacapinta at 10:59 AM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

CIRCUS PEANUTS.

What kind of sick, twisted, evil, godless individual created circus peanuts? They look like large peanuts, you expect a peanuty taste, and yet when you bite into one - BAM! - it's banana. This is like someone secretly replacing your hamburger patty with a Brillo pad. As a kid on Halloween, I would have gladly accepted Necco wafers, pink snowballs, even those wax tubes with flavored goo inside over circus peanuts any day. Bleeding circus peanuts and their cruel joke on your tongue.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:00 AM on August 26, 2008 [10 favorites has favorites]

Was the Necco factory still operating? I thought they had made all of the Necco wafers back in WW II and just changed the wrapper every now and then.

Ten years ago, they still had a plant in East Cambridge, right near the Green Line. It was pretty awesome because you could tell what kind of candy they were making by the way the air smelled. (Necco makes a bunch of stuff other than the wafers, including Clark Bars and those chalky, Necco-like Valentine hearts.) Chocolate days were especially tantalizing.

The best part, though, is that on the outside of the building, they had a dozen or so inflow pipes, each marked with a different ingredient: Corn syrup, milk chocolate, milk, etc. The trucks would pull up, attach a hose, and pump liquid chocolatey goodness right into the factory

Too bad all of their candy is crap.


Also, the guy who wrote the list left off Dubble Bubble gum. What a boondoggle that stuff was. I mean, you had the promise of a hilarious comic and some tasty gum. You'd unwrap, holding the piece of gum anxiously in your sweaty palm while you devoured the antics of that Bazooka Joe ripoff. But they were never funny. Looking back, those comics were almost post-modernistly unfunny. So you'd dejectedly put the gum in your mouth and chew. And chew. And chew. Hardest, sugariest gum your teeth would ever encounter. And it lost its flavor after about two minutes anyway.

Biggest $.03 rip-off ever.
posted by mudpuppie at 11:02 AM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

Greg Nog is my new hero.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:02 AM on August 26, 2008

I still mix my soft drinks together sometimes at the soda fountain. Root beer, Pepsi, orange, right down the line. We used to call them suicides.
posted by Camofrog at 11:03 AM on August 26, 2008 [6 favorites has favorites]

I'm not going to sit idly by and read this libelous trash.

Fluff, specifically when combined with cheap white bread and creamy peanut butter, and chased with a cold glass of whole milk, is the keystone component in one of the pinnacles of human culture, one of the seven wonders of the culinary world, the '47 Cheval Blanc of dessert sandwiches, the Fluffernutter.

Please make a note of it.
posted by dirtdirt at 11:04 AM on August 26, 2008 [8 favorites has favorites]

However. Brownies are just chunks of baked dough if they're not iced.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 11:04 AM on August 26, 2008

I've heard mention that there is some scientific reasoning behind the discrepancy of taste; that humans have evolved so that kids want sweeter food, as it's less likely to be poisonous since children are more susceptible to poison.
posted by destro at 11:04 AM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Also: Fruit Stripe Gum. Best gum to look at, best gum to taste, but only for about fifteen seconds, then all flavor mysteriously vanished and it was like chewing rubber bands.
posted by contessa at 11:04 AM on August 26, 2008 [9 favorites has favorites]

No. Brownies should be a little dry and dusted in powdered sugar.
posted by Science! at 11:07 AM on August 26, 2008

Spongy white bread dipped in Golden Corn Syrup, eaten on a Saturday morning in front of the tv after your Mom said "Oh, go ahead" in her sleep.

Now I can eat whatever I want on a Saturday morning without asking anyone's permission, but I don't want this.
posted by maudlin at 11:08 AM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

Yeah, I was wondering about PopRocks, too. They were my favorite as a kid, and now I'm shocked that I ever ate that. Also, does anyone else remember the candy jewelry? It sort of tasted like chalk, but, you know, you were rocking the jewelry-sugar combo. My daughter eats it now, and it's revolting.

What. You're totally missing the point, man! Pop rocks make popping sounds. In your mouth!! Candy jewelry is candy. You can wear!! Same for candy cigarettes and cotton candy. That shit is the ortolan of childhood. It's not the taste, it's the novelty.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 11:09 AM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

About once a year I manage to convince myself that KFC isn't disgusting and I get some and take exactly one bite and go, oh, right, and then I'm cool for another year. I sure liked it as a kid, though.

I still like Chef Boyardee pizzas, though.
posted by Bookhouse at 11:11 AM on August 26, 2008

Y'know, I can't think of a single thing I loved as a kid that I don't now. Partly because I ate nothing as a kid (would regularly reduce my parents to tears), and partly because we really weren't allowed to eat a whole lot of over-sugared over-processed crap, which is basically what this list is made of.

Seems to me that it's pretty simple to gauge why these things aren't liked as much as adults as when we were kids, though; kids are wired for liking fat and sweet, because they need fats and calories to grow. Adults are, generally, not wired as much for that. Plus our palates have grown and expanded to enjoy bitter flavours. Which, if memory serves correctly, probably has a good explanation. Again, going on memory, bitterness is often found as a taste in toxic plants; the flavour helps prevent you from eating them. I think it could therefore make sense that children--being less intelligent--require a more severe barrier to eating non-toxic bitter foods than adults do. Also because lower body mass means less toxin required to be lethal or incapacitating (which makes me wonder if in a very broad sense men have a tendency to enjoy bitter foods more than women do).
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:12 AM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

>CIRCUS PEANUTS

"In 1963, General Mills vice president John Holahan inventively discovered that Circus Peanuts shavings yielded a tasty enhancement to his breakfast cereal. General Mills formalized the innovation and created Lucky Charms, the first breakfast cereal to contain marshmallow bits (or "marbits")." So there's that.
posted by Sailormom at 11:12 AM on August 26, 2008 [6 favorites has favorites]

Having just gorged on a bunch of them this past weekend, Twinkies taste just as good to me in my 30s and they did when I was a kid. Definitely a food I would eat a lot more of if I didn't care what I looked like and didn't care when I died.
posted by The Gooch at 11:12 AM on August 26, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

I clearly recall taking a piece of chocolate cake with thick, chocolate icing, and carefully eating only the cake -- so as to leave the icing for last

I still do that. In fact, at parties I eat the icing other people leave on their plates, so keep on doing what you're doing, and I'll be there... waiting.
posted by Evangeline at 11:13 AM on August 26, 2008 [6 favorites has favorites]

I didn't have a pixifood experience, per se, but eventually I quit putting ketchup on corn.
posted by Flipping_Hades_Terwilliger at 11:14 AM on August 26, 2008

In 1963, General Mills vice president John Holahan inventively discovered that Circus Peanuts shavings yielded a tasty enhancement to his breakfast cereal...

John Holahan: World's first 9-year-old corporate VP.
posted by contessa at 11:15 AM on August 26, 2008 [5 favorites has favorites]

Breast milk. Loved it as an infant, tastes disgustingly sweet as an adult. The bottle it comes in is still nice however.
posted by three blind mice at 11:16 AM on August 26, 2008 [21 favorites has favorites]

Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup:
As a child it tastes like: Warm and comforting (and good for you!).
As an adult it tastes like: An entire salt shaker mixed with water and floor sweepings.
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 11:16 AM on August 26, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

Um, the reason a lot of that food tastes worse today (like Pop Tarts or Pepperidge Farm Cookies) is because now they barely use any real food to make these products.

It has almost nothing to do with your preferences as a grown-up.

"Make it as cheaply as possible" is what these food companies practice now. Taste is secondary.
posted by Zambrano at 11:17 AM on August 26, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

I just remembered a pixifood: Now 'N' Laters. Ye gods and their stripey pajamas, those pointy little bastards could probably pull a filling right out of a tooth.
posted by Flipping_Hades_Terwilliger at 11:19 AM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

Chicken Pot Pies always reminded me of hot vomit.
posted by doctorschlock at 11:21 AM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Circus peanuts inspiring the charms in Lucky Charms is the only decent thing those vile things ever did for the world. I don't remember any spongy, banana-flavored charms shaped liked peanuts, but then again, I have no idea what flavor "green clover" was supposed to be.

That said, one of my favorite childhood treats that still tastes good to me today is a Sky Blue flavored snowball (also known as snow cones), although I still have no idea what that's supposed to taste like, either. The closest I acn guess is raspberry.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:21 AM on August 26, 2008

The author seems to be conflating taste with biological consequences of eating a given food. Tastes like a root canal? Really? What does a triple bypass taste like? No, not the veins and blood; he didn't say veins and blood. He said the actual medical procedure of a triple bypass.

As a child, beer tastes like ass. As an adult, it still tastes like ass, but now it has an air of responsibility about it. Ass and responsibility.

Wow, deep analysis. Here I was expecting a compilation of actual foods that change in taste as you age. Oops, forgot, it's the internet.

Why do I bother again?
posted by Eideteker at 11:22 AM on August 26, 2008

I still mix my soft drinks together sometimes at the soda fountain. Root beer, Pepsi, orange, right down the line. We used to call them suicides.

Holy fuck yes!

Sprite + Orange Crush is the best.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:22 AM on August 26, 2008

kids have horrible, horrible taste

our palates have grown and expanded to enjoy bitter flavours

That's because children are generally more sensitive to 6-n-propylthiouracil
posted by CynicalKnight at 11:22 AM on August 26, 2008 [8 favorites has favorites]

However. Brownies are just chunks of baked dough if they're not iced.

I think you are hopelessly confused about what a brownie is. First and foremost, brownies are baked from a batter, not a dough. But furthermore, they require no icing at all, because the best recipes lead to a flaky top above a fluffy bottom. It's two different layers naturally, and icing is just the nastiest thing you can do to a brownie.
posted by explosion at 11:23 AM on August 26, 2008 [18 favorites has favorites]

...one of my favorite childhood treats that still tastes good to me today is a Sky Blue flavored snowball (also known as snow cones), although I still have no idea what that's supposed to taste like, either.

Blue is its own flavor, just as purple is a fruit.
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:24 AM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

I want none of this adulthood.
posted by jessamyn at 11:25 AM on August 26, 2008 [12 favorites has favorites]

I loved me some Newtons as a kid. Still do, though the cake part of the cookie tastes somewhat styrofoamy to my palette now.

My parents used to help me make Chef Boyardee Pizza every Friday night...
Holy crap! I thought my family were the only ones that ate that stuff! I loved that stuff. Today, though, I see it in the market...calling to me...I successfully avoid it because, though I haven't tasted it since childhood, I just...know better.
posted by Thorzdad at 11:25 AM on August 26, 2008

icing is just the nastiest thing you can do to a brownie.

On the other hand, the best thing you can do to a brownie is ... uh, add walnuts!
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:25 AM on August 26, 2008

Fig Newtons are Satan's joke to cookie-eaters.

It's not a cookie, muthah...it's a FRRRRRUIT NEWTON! Ohhhh!

The secret to enjoying kid's cereal as an adult is to "cut" it with an unsweet variant (or as similar as you can get)

Yes and this: Honey Bunches of Oats + Fiber One. Trust me.
posted by Pax at 11:26 AM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

You're not the only one eyeing that cake icing, Evangeline.
posted by mitzyjalapeno at 11:27 AM on August 26, 2008

Eideteker, do you still enjoy tucking into a nice, hot plate of beans?
posted by MrMoonPie at 11:27 AM on August 26, 2008

The best thing you can do to a brownie is give me it.
posted by Wolfdog at 11:27 AM on August 26, 2008 [7 favorites has favorites]

icing is just the nastiest thing you can do to a brownie.

Shouldn't you be filing an early RRSP contribution or something?
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 11:28 AM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

Every time I get a Slush Puppie I am violently disappointed and usually manage to piss off my wife with all my bitching and moaning about how horrible it is, how it's nothing like I used to remember them, and how I'll certainly never get one of them again.

I usually try one every couple of months or so.
posted by yhbc at 11:31 AM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

I used to make a cement-like mixture of Grape-Nuts, white sugar, and a little bit of milk. Now, I don't think that I would find this palatable.
posted by everichon at 11:32 AM on August 26, 2008

I wrote about my strange love affair with Spaghetti-Os five years ago! It prompted a lot of weird confessionals, which was awesome.
posted by Skot at 11:33 AM on August 26, 2008

icing is just the nastiest thing you can do to a brownie

Not by a long shot.
posted by everichon at 11:33 AM on August 26, 2008

Brownies are just chunks of baked dough if they're not iced.

This is wrong and you are wrong for saying it.

Also, Fig Newtons are delicious, but Blueberry Newtons are an offense to God and man.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 11:34 AM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

I still have peanut butter & Tang sandwiches for lunch sometimes.
But, and here's the kicker: I can also have some Havana Club.
posted by seanmpuckett at 11:34 AM on August 26, 2008

Yeah, I was wondering about PopRocks, too. They were my favorite as a kid, and now I'm shocked that I ever ate that.

Think how Mikey feels...
posted by inigo2 at 11:35 AM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Cool Whip. The ultimate dessert topping once upon a time. Someone brought it to a barbecue we had a little while back, and the texture and general sort of structural integrity reminded me of nothing but that self-adhesive expanding foam you use to seal storm windows. I even tried some. You could really taste the polymerized ethylene oxide.

Aerosol whipped cream, however - Reddi Whip to you USians - remains a guilty little squirt of satori.

Oh, and the Boyardee-style canned pastas with meat sauce, of any brand? Rollercoasters with those little kibble meatballs were, for whatever reason, my childhood favourite, but Alphagetti, Spaghetti-Os, Beef-a-Roni and Wicked Rockin' Powerblaster Pokemon-a-roni all must extract their meat from the same trough. So yeah, that "meat"? Troubles me on an existential level now, even before I've got the can open. Knowledge is both a blessing and a curse. There's your bottom line of growing up in a (synthetic copolymer) nutshell.
posted by gompa at 11:36 AM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Eideteker, you were expecting a serious "compilation of actual foods that change in taste as you age" from something named "Pixifoods"?
posted by josher71 at 11:37 AM on August 26, 2008

You know, I was about to post a lamentation that adulthood really destroyed my sweet tooth and now all I usually crave is a variety of fresh green vegetables, what a shame, oh for the pleasures of yesteryear, but I just can't enjoy sugar anymore, that kind of thing.

Then I remembered: Reddi-Wip whipped cream. Straight from the nozzle.

Now I'm going to have to find a convenience store.
posted by RogerB at 11:43 AM on August 26, 2008

Ten years ago, they still had a plant in East Cambridge, right near the Green Line. It was pretty awesome because you could tell what kind of candy they were making by the way the air smelled. (Necco makes a bunch of stuff other than the wafers, including Clark Bars and those chalky, Necco-like Valentine hearts.) Chocolate days were especially tantalizing.

The Cambridge Candy Co. factory was still on Main St., a few blocks away from Necco, last time I was around (I can only assume that it's still there). I used to walk past every morning on the way to work. On one side of the street was Bertucci's, who were just starting up their wood-fired ovens, and on the other side, the candy factory, which was often making Junior Mints, which might be the most delicious, and best-smelling, food known to man. It was awesome.
posted by uncleozzy at 11:43 AM on August 26, 2008

I think there's also a variant of pixifood that happens even younger--I'm told that as a baby I used to eat Cheerios and little else, but as far back as I can remember, the smell of those oaty death-rings could turn my stomach from fifteen yards away. Somehow, though, Honey Nut Cheerios were a completely different matter, as long as they didn't get soggy.


Sometimes that comes in the form of still enjoying them while eating them, but then feeling absolutely disgusting after. Fast food, Dinty Moore, SpaghettiOs. For me, it's SpaghettiOs WITH MEATBALLS. I will NOT eat SpaghettiOs without meatballs. Which works nicely with this list because the meatballs were simultaneously the best part and also very questionable as to whether they were even food. But man I loved those spongy little pieces of crap. Also the sauce tasted a bit different.

Quoted for great truth.

Oh, and Little Caesar's pizza. I think they stopped delivering when people started to eat the box instead.
posted by recoveringsophist at 11:44 AM on August 26, 2008

Cheerios [...] the smell of those oaty death-rings could turn my stomach from fifteen yards away

The smell of Cheerios reminds me of messy babies in church when I was a kid. Apparently, they're so delicious to babies that they'll stop screaming for three, four minutes before they start gumming a few and throwing the paste everywhere. Seriously, if you eat Cheerios and then breathe near me, I will probably retch. Just thinking about the smell makes me a little queasy, and I've got an iron stomach.
posted by uncleozzy at 11:47 AM on August 26, 2008

Vienna sausages. Loved 'em. What was my mother thinking?
posted by Evangeline at 11:48 AM on August 26, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

However. Brownies are just chunks of baked dough if they're not iced.

flagged as imposter to the human race.
posted by ericbop at 11:48 AM on August 26, 2008 [6 favorites has favorites]

The summer after I turned seven, my mom went back to work on her bachelor's. That summer she took an overload of classes and was completely absent from my world. This meant I was turned over to my father and his more liberal understanding of food and "healthy" eating.

My memories of that summer include moonpies, ice cream in the little tubbies with the wooden paddles, massive amounts of Coke and Oreos and my father's signature meal, "Damn Sam Fried Spam Sandwiches." (My mother's term for them)

I loved those things. I would beg for fried spam sandwiches with a slice of tomato and mustard on white bread. Every morning and afternoon he'd make them for me, and every day I considered myself the most lucky girl in the whole universe to have such a Daddy.

Of course, a few years ago Dad and I were sitting around talking about that summer and we impusively decided to make a fried spam sandwich. It was kinda like a little death of childhood when we both bit into them and almost gagged. We each sat there, not wanting to be the one who said "Dear Jesus these are awful!" and destroy the memory of how wonderful they were and that summer. Sadly, the actual taste of Spam sometimes outweighs the taste of good memories. Dad and I both firmly assert that they have changed the formula for Spam. We didn't change. The Spam did.

I still adore oreos and ice cream with wooden paddles though.
posted by teleri025 at 11:49 AM on August 26, 2008 [12 favorites has favorites]

I still mix my soft drinks together sometimes at the soda fountain. Root beer, Pepsi, orange, right down the line. We used to call them suicides.

That's how 'bar ginger ale' is made, anyway, at least since the 1970s. Customer asks for 'ginger ale', you don't say, "we don't have any", you hold down the Coke and Sprite buttons at the same time -- instant 'bar ginger ale'.
posted by Herodios at 11:49 AM on August 26, 2008

I couldn't disagree with the original author's examples more since I still love a lot of those candies and I wondered if this just meant I was fortunately to enjoy foods with both my mature and immature pallette.

But then I started reading the comments on this list and realized that there were many examples that y'all came up with that I completely agree with -- Chef Boyardee and Little Caesar's pizzas especially -- and I'd add Dominoes. Maybe I'm just a Chicago pizza snob now.

And damn straight about Fruit Stripe gum, contessa -- though the descent from delicious gum to tasteless chew-goo is so rapid, that I found myself buying a pack recently just for the shock value. (And the temporary zebra tattoos that lasted much longer.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:55 AM on August 26, 2008

Totally agree about Fruit Stripe gum- the initial two chews are a burst of artificially fruity goodness. After the third chew you can't get it out of your mouth fast enough.
posted by eyeballkid at 12:10 PM on August 26, 2008

Whenever my mom used to leave me with a sitter, she'd purchase a Chef Boyardee pizza to give us something to do (make the pizza) that we could then eat. I would get wildly excited when I would see the box waiting on the counter because it meant that I'd get to undertake a project with a cool, older girl and would have a new victim with whom to discuss my obsession with John Schneider while eating popcorn and watching the Dukes of Hazard.

A few months ago I was in the grocery store with my 9-year-old step-daughter and decided to turn her on to the joys of the Chef. We went home and made the thing and when we sat down to eat it I was overcome with a nostalgia so powerful that I literally cried. Meanwhile, my stepdaughter sniffed at the thin, cardboard-like crust and declared that she wanted Papa John's or nothing.

Kids these days. Get off my pizza.
posted by staggering termagant at 12:13 PM on August 26, 2008 [8 favorites has favorites]

Cheerios [...] the smell of those oaty death-rings could turn my stomach from fifteen yards away

My baby daughter ate so many Cheerios that her poo smelled like them. I can't eat them without thinking about dirty diapers.
posted by MrMoonPie at 12:14 PM on August 26, 2008

three blind mice writes "Breast milk. Loved it as an infant, tastes disgustingly sweet as an adult. The bottle it comes in is still nice however."

No Wai! Breast Milk is like a nectar from the gods combined with roulette. Then again I still like fig newtons, KFC and Aeroroot so it's possible I slipped into my second childhood and didn't notice.
posted by Mitheral at 12:14 PM on August 26, 2008

I had a roommate in second year who was from a remote area that didn't exactly have access to diverse cuisine. He grew up on a lot of processed stuff, so understandably, he spent most of his life eating pixifood. His "I'm feelin' fancy!" dinner was a can of Campbell's tomato soup, diluted with whole milk and Cheez Whiz (the quintessential pixifood), topped with a hefty crust (!?!) of that Kraft grated "parmesan cheese" that has no resemblance whatsoever to cheese. Oh god, the smell.

I still adore oreos and ice cream with wooden paddles though.

I don't know what it was about those wooden paddles, but damn did they make ice cream taste just a bit better.
posted by thisjax at 12:14 PM on August 26, 2008

teleri025, you are right about the ice cream with wooden paddles.
posted by infinitewindow at 12:15 PM on August 26, 2008

Sadly, the actual taste of Spam sometimes outweighs the taste of good memories.

Our local Hawaiian BBQ joint served a wonderful dish known as Spam Musubi, basically Spam sushi, which I loved until I finally got around to reading the health label on the side of a can of Spam.
posted by The Gooch at 12:16 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

His "I'm feelin' fancy!" dinner was a can of Campbell's tomato soup, diluted with whole milk and Cheez Whiz (the quintessential pixifood), topped with a hefty crust (!?!) of that Kraft grated "parmesan cheese" that has no resemblance whatsoever to cheese. Oh god, the smell.

I am reasonably certain that person has been my roommate.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 12:17 PM on August 26, 2008

Vienna sausages. Loved 'em. What was my mother thinking?

One for fish, one for you.
posted by peeedro at 12:18 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

No. Brownies should be a little dry and dusted in powdered sugar.

Powdered sugar is the Devil's dandruff. Keep that vile horror off my food.
posted by kittyprecious at 12:32 PM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

I still mix my soft drinks together sometimes at the soda fountain. Root beer, Pepsi, orange, right down the line. We used to call them suicides.

I, too, was down with the suicides when I was a kid, and will still mix one up on the rare occasion I get something from a soda fountain these days.

As for the original article:

1. Just because it's a blog doesn't mean it's acceptable to write nonsensical sentences with multiple missing words.

2. He loses all respect for suggesting that NASA might be a questionable use of taxpayer funds. We spend more on earmarked bullshit than we do on NASA.
posted by Caduceus at 12:34 PM on August 26, 2008

As a kid I used to be revolted by the taste of carbonated water - soda water was really nasty. Now I love the stuff.

It's definitely that bitter tastes better as you get older, and SUPER sweet tastes worse.
posted by MythMaker at 12:39 PM on August 26, 2008

Ten years ago, they still had a plant in East Cambridge, right near the Green Line. It was pretty awesome because you could tell what kind of candy they were making by the way the air smelled.

The factory is still there, but alas, it's being turned into condos now. When I last lived in East Cambridge four years ago the corn syrup inflow pipes were still there, but when I went back to visit last month they were gone. I shed a tear, I admit it.

My contribution to the list - Bubble Tape. It's gum! Shaped like tape! Somehow when I was a kid I got my mother hooked on it, and now when I go to visit her I occasionally try it again and... eurgh. Brittle cardboard coated in powdered sugar. "Coated in sugar" sure seems to be a theme here.
posted by marginaliana at 12:40 PM on August 26, 2008

I still like these things, I just can't eat as much of them at once as I used to. They're now "once in a while" foods.

I never liked that nasty marshmallowy fluff though.
posted by Tehanu at 12:45 PM on August 26, 2008

My favorite when I was a kid was a package of Zingers, the cheap frosted version of a twinkie. Every so often I will see them at a quick mart and buy them. Soon after I take a bite I become quickly disappointed in myself.
Also the fruit pies sold on the same rack as the zingers.
posted by hexxed at 12:49 PM on August 26, 2008

If Campbells (or whoever it is who makes Spaghettios now) ever decides to make Spaghettios with Meatballs, minus the Spaghettios, I'd be willing to buy several truckloads and eat them until my dying day.
posted by Dave Faris at 12:50 PM on August 26, 2008

Oh, as for the foods that was great when I was a kid, but now I wonder how I could have eaten it now...

Hostess Fruit Pies -- a thin layer of fruit filling, surrounded by tasteless dough, and thick layer of sugar.

Wax Teeth -- proof that kids will put anything into their gaping maws.
posted by Dave Faris at 12:52 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

I got turned off to a lot of the foods here by the time I was 12. One day I could eat Little Debbies, the next day something about them make the back of my throat itch and sting. The same with Sunny D, Tang, Chef Boyardee, pizzas from the freezer case, the Campbells' hungry-man-type soup in the big red cans, certain pasta sauces in jars... no, I can't even drink regular soda. It's the high fructose corn syrup. I simply cannot consume any product that has HFCS as a primary ingredient. Right around my adolescence, food manufacturers started putting it in EVERYTHING.

Ugh, the stuff I ate as a kid: Miracle Whip on white bread. Toast topped with margarine and Karo. Potted meat on saltine crackers. Nasty "Boston Cremes" from Mister Donut. I can't imagine how or why I wanted to eat that junk.

Although, I wonder sometimes... is Church's Fried Chicken the same now as it was when I'd get a snack box for lunch after Sunday school? Forget KFC, Church's was some good fried chicken!
posted by droplet at 12:55 PM on August 26, 2008

When I was around four or so, I somehow managed to cajole my mother into buying me a box of Boo Berry cereal. Which I immediately devoured. The cereal part, anyway. Then I refused to drink the blue-tinted milk--a feature, that I apparently decided right then, was actually a bug.

"Well, you little shit," my mom said in wonderment. I only got Grape-Nuts after that.
posted by Skot at 1:00 PM on August 26, 2008 [5 favorites has favorites]

Whiskey.

As a kid it was smooth and refreshing. Now it just tastes like ick and makes me cringe.

"I still mix my soft drinks together sometimes at the soda fountain. Root beer, Pepsi, orange, right down the line. We used to call them suicides."

I still do that too, but now they are called Arnold Palmers.
posted by clearly at 1:02 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

yhbc: Slush Puppies don't exist anymore. Icee bought them and converted all the machines to produce basically a non-carbonated Icee. Lost in the mists of time is the proper granulated-ice-in-syrup Slush Puppie of yore. That stuff produced the fastest brain freeze in the known universe, especially when you downed half a large Suicide in one go after riding your bike to Tedeschi's on a 110 degree day in mid August.

cortex: We also went through the snorting phase. My own personal most ill-advised experiment was snorting coarsely chopped candy corn. I think one of them is still lodged up there somewhere.

And has anyone mentioned Andy Capp's Hot Fries yet? They still make those, but they have (as with practically everything else) changed the formula. They're actually not half bad, these days. They are not nearly as painful as they used to be -- they seem to have abandoned the 40% bear repellent pepper-spray flavoring formula.
posted by rusty at 1:06 PM on August 26, 2008

Don't be knocking the Pop Rocks. Take them (your favorite flavor) and put them between two chunks of chocolate (again, dark or light, your favorite). Eat and curl up in a little ball on the floor because it's better than heroin.
posted by zengargoyle at 1:08 PM on August 26, 2008

Nope, mixing all the fountain soft drinks together gave you Swamp Juice. Accept no substitutes.

Potted meat on saltine crackers.

Aha! That reminds me of the old veal-pork-chicken spread my sister and I used to gorge ourselves on for our school lunches (spread and mustard on more spongy white bread). I saw a can of it years later, opened it, looked at it, and all I could think of was Iams.

And Habitant split pea soup went downhill some time in the 80s. It didn't start tasting bad: it just started tasting like nothing. Considering what it looks like, I guess it could be worse.
posted by maudlin at 1:14 PM on August 26, 2008

Ah, Neccos. I reluctantly gave that candy up about four months ago when they became the most expensive candy I've eaten... they caused a broken crown on one of my teeth, resulting in a $1,400 replacement.
posted by SteveInMaine at 1:14 PM on August 26, 2008

A few years ago I was almost killed by a Twinkie. I saw one of those two-packs sitting by the cash register in a variety store and thought, "Man, I haven't had a Twinkie in 20 years." Well, it tasted all right, I guess, but 20 minutes later I began to sweat and ache and my body started shouting "DO NOT PUT THESE IN ME" at my brain.
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:24 PM on August 26, 2008

As a child, I eschewed sugary cereals because they made the milk taste funny. Then again, I subsisted an entire summer on almost nothing but canned Sunshine lemonade and Oreo cookies.
posted by mimo at 1:26 PM on August 26, 2008

Then there's Thrills, the gum that tastes like soap (they even print "it still tastes like soap!" on the package). Gross as a child, gross now. And yet, people still buy it.
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:27 PM on August 26, 2008

I adore circus peanuts, cotton candy, and Nerds. They will leave my repertoire. And I confess to eating a bowl of Chef Boyardee a couple of weeks ago when I was on a soft food diet.

But: vienna sausages... in that pull top can with that.... ugh jelly stuff on them. Oh lord, how did I ever eat those things?
posted by kimdog at 1:27 PM on August 26, 2008

I'm surprised no one's mentioned American cheese! I used to eat boatloads of the stuff, but the very smell (let alone the taste) of it now makes me curse the nation that invented it.

Good neologism, though. I'll start using it in conversation.
posted by spamguy at 1:28 PM on August 26, 2008

TastyClairs and Butterscotch Krimpets!
posted by octothorpe at 1:28 PM on August 26, 2008

Vienna sausages. Loved 'em. What was my mother thinking?

A friend had a jar of them on his bar at home. Unopened. When you'd ask about them he'd just say "read the ingredient list." When you did you couldn't help but notice the first ingredient listed: beef lips.
posted by tommasz at 1:31 PM on August 26, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

Those of you debating whether a mixture of various carbonated beverages is called a suicide, swamp juice, or something else should take a look at the AskMeFi thread on the subject.
posted by jedicus at 1:33 PM on August 26, 2008

I grew up in the country and my Mom was hellbent on making sure that we didn't grow up clueless because we went to a small rural school. So we'd go on field trips to the Big City [Boston usually, or the environs] and go see neat stuff. She'd show up at these places or call them and ask about getting a tour. Sometimes we'd drag a few neighborhood kids along so it seemed a little more legit.

Once we went ot the Perkins School for the Blind (we had a friend who worked there) and hung out with blind kids all day. Once we went to a planetarium and got a lecture on atronomy. Once we went on a tour of the Necco wafer factory. My Mom was always a nut for the Necco wafers, even the disgusting black ones, so this was sort of her idea.

I must have been like five or six or seven so I can remember pretty much nothing about the actual tour except getting to tell people that we went and yeah there was free candy and that the Big City was pretty cool.

I've still got a real taste for the sugary stuff but not the same metabolism for it. It was easy to burn off the sugar and calories in a Snowball or a Whoopie Pie [those things have **470** calories, that's like 25% of what you get to eat in a day, worth it though] when you were eight, had no job and no internet and a big backyard full of worms and crickets, slightly more difficult now. I'm one of those dorks that thinks pre-HFCS Coke tastes better than Coke currently, but I had to start drinking diet sodas (if I drank soda at all) when I got braces and mostly stuck to them.

...the Fluffernutter.

I ate one last weekend, they're pretty New England specific I think. If anyone has a real hankering to try it, drop me a MeMail I may be able to help you out.
posted by jessamyn at 1:35 PM on August 26, 2008

LOL! What a fun post and thread.

Greg Nog, I have the hugest cyber crush on you now.

Lost in the land of yore:

Nik L Nip, those little wax bottles that were once filled with sips of juicy nectar, now remind me of that cherry smelling stuff in porta potties.

Hershey's and Nestle's Crunch, Chunky, Mounds chocolate bars were then silky chocolate heaven. Now wax with flavor.

Rock Candy. Then amazing science crystal sweetness. Now molar crackers.

Pez. Then fruity and fresh. Now possibly useful for making sidewalk drawings?

Some that were never good, ever. Violet Mints. what were they thinking? And Sen-Sen. ugh. Candy for alkies to mix their rotten stomach smell with granny perfume and licorice? *gag

Although, strangely, I do like the Flavigny Violet Pastilles.

Ones that have stood the test of time: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Milky Way, anything by Cadbury, Bit-O-Honey, Grethers Blackcurrent Pastilles and La Vie French Fruit Candy in those pretty tins, Callard and Bowser toffees.

One I didn't expect to like, Granny's fave, Slippery Elm.
posted by nickyskye at 1:38 PM on August 26, 2008

When you'd ask about them he'd just say "read the ingredient list."

I had a can of potted meat product for exactly the same reason: "Partially de-fatted fatty meat tissue."
posted by lekvar at 1:39 PM on August 26, 2008

There's not a whole lot of foods I liked as a kid that I dislike much now. But then, I was never hooked on the very sweet stuff. Didn't like Fig Newtons. Couldn't give a crap about marshmallows or candy corn.

Not that I seek them out that often, but I still like the Kraft macaroni and cheese (with the orange powder "cheese"), and in just the last week or so, we had a dinner of Van Camp's baked beans with a bunch of chopped up hebrew national hot dogs (the only way to have Beans 'n Weenies).

But anything with appreciable MSG in it gives me monster headaches, so no more eating an entire bag of Lay's Sour Cream and Onion chips.
posted by chimaera at 1:41 PM on August 26, 2008

I just had Sixlets for the first time in about 20 years. There's a reason each Sixlet costs about a penny.
posted by aaronetc at 1:46 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Oh man, that pic of the fluffernutter did me in. I'll have to make some bread tonight and have one for lunch tomorrow.
posted by uncleozzy at 1:47 PM on August 26, 2008

Atom Eyes writes "And yes—kids have horrible, horrible taste. Not everything goes better with ketchup, you little freaks."

The only purpose of ketchup is to completely mask the taste of whatever food you put it on, because all you can taste is ketchup. It's nasty and should only be reserved for when you can't stomach whatever you're eating. I haven't eaten it in quite a few years, as my dad pretty much got me off ketchup forever.
posted by krinklyfig at 1:54 PM on August 26, 2008

I have such a massive, nonspecific junk food craving now. I have a feeling my commute home is going to involve a stop to buy ice cream, cheesies, Hostess cupcakes, Spam, kraft dinner and marshmallow fluff. Followed by a sick day tomorrow. Those are all low-calorie, right?
posted by sevenyearlurk at 1:54 PM on August 26, 2008

spamguy writes "I'm surprised no one's mentioned American cheese! I used to eat boatloads of the stuff, but the very smell (let alone the taste) of it now makes me curse the nation that invented it."

And the sad part is that most of the time, it's not even cheese, it's partially hydrogenated oils with some flavoring. There is such a thing as real, cultured American cheese, but it's pretty bland. Why go to all that trouble, if all you want is crap?
posted by krinklyfig at 1:57 PM on August 26, 2008

The only purpose of ketchup is to completely mask the taste of whatever food you put it on, because all you can taste is ketchup. It's nasty and should only be reserved for when you can't stomach whatever you're eating. I haven't eaten it in quite a few years, as my dad pretty much got me off ketchup forever.

Two words: hot dogs. Three more words: cold dead hands.
posted by cortex at 2:04 PM on August 26, 2008

ketchup

Two words: hot dogs. Three more words: cold dead hands.

Oh, cortex . . . I . . . why, man, why? You don't seem jabberingly insane in most other respects.
posted by Skot at 2:08 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Oh, and Little Caesar's pizza. I think they stopped delivering when people started to eat the box instead.

They brought it back to my hometown! I think their deal is two pepperoni pizzas for $5 (???). Worst pizza ever.

the reason a lot of that food tastes worse today (like Pop Tarts or Pepperidge Farm Cookies) is because now they barely use any real food to make these products.

One thing that is conspicuous in this regard is Fruit Roll-ups. I think in their entire existence, they've ranged from actually made of fruit to the slightly-sweetened plastic they make them out of today. And I was a kid in the golden age...they were really sugary and sweet, not as grainy as the natural fruit roll-ups, but way squishier than today's plasticky version. I can't say I'd necessarily like them still, but we'll never know because they just don't exist like that anymore.

I still like Pepperidge Farm cookies though. Ginger Men! Also I think Fruit Stripe gum hasn't changed a bit--it was always disappointingly short-lived, but pure joy while it lasted. Still is.

And there's no soup like Campbell's tomato made with whole milk instead of water. (And there's nothing quite as disappointing as finding there's no milk and having to use water instead, bleh). It still tastes as good as ever, and doesn't make me feel crappy like most canned stuff. I prefer a grilled cheese (made either with real cheese or Kraft singles--both tasty) and a huge pile of saltines without salted tops with mine, though. As opposed to fake grated parm and cheez-whiz.
posted by lampoil at 2:12 PM on August 26, 2008

ketchup [...] hot dogs

You are wrong, and also a bad person.
posted by uncleozzy at 2:12 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Ketchup does not go on hot dogs, you philistine. Here, for your edification, is the exhaustive list of Condiments That Are Ok To Put On Hot Dogs:

* Mustard

There you have it.

You probably put sugar in coffee too.
posted by rusty at 2:12 PM on August 26, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

ketchup

Two words: hot dogs.

No. Just... no. Corn dogs, maybe. (But only if mixed with French's yellow mustard.)
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:13 PM on August 26, 2008

Paper dots. You know the ones I mean? They were these little bits of candy (about as big as mini chocolate chip, only not chocolate) on a strip of paper maybe three inches wide. You peeled them off and if you were lucky some of the paper stayed stuck.

I tried them again a few years ago and they were horrible! They were all hard and had a completely different taste and texture and they came off the paper cleanly. Clearly the bastids changed the recipe, ruining my 40th birthday party.
posted by merelyglib at 2:13 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Then there's Thrills, the gum that tastes like soap (they even print "it still tastes like soap!" on the package). Gross as a child, gross now.

You shut up with your blasphemy right now. Thrills is fucking awesome.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 2:15 PM on August 26, 2008

If I were an aging conservative Presidential candidate attempting to smear my opponent by undermining the confidence of the good people of the United States of American in said opponent's patriotism, I would be thrilled to hear that my oppo guys had found out that said opponent doesn't put ketchup on his hot dogs, so fundamentally right and righteous is that pairing in the eyes of God and baseball fans everywhere.
posted by cortex at 2:15 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Ones that have stood the test of time: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Milky Way, anything by Cadbury, Bit-O-Honey, Grethers Blackcurrent Pastilles and La Vie French Fruit Candy in those pretty tins, Callard and Bowser toffees.

Now that I think about it, Cadbury cream eggs are something I used to eat every Easter. As in multiple eggs. In one sitting. But I can't make it through a single one now. The day I realized that I now abhor them was kind of heartbreaking.
posted by Tehanu at 2:20 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Now for a more important question: What food item would you really rather not like your toes to be, if you had to choose.

This was a recurring theme on Norwegian radio's P3 a few years ago. Among the most popular answers were: canned sardines in oil, overcooked spagetthi, Michael Jackson, The Royal Family, rubic's cubes etc.

If you had to have a food item for toes, which would you rather not have?
posted by Dumsnill at 2:20 PM on August 26, 2008

> Plus our palates have grown and expanded to enjoy bitter flavours. Which, if memory
> serves correctly, probably has a good explanation.

It's because the little primates demand all the ripe fruit and we, suckers that we are, give it all to them and then there's nothing left for us but the green ones. Eat green or die, large primate.


> do you still enjoy tucking into a nice, hot plate of beans?

I do, but now I have to think about it first.
posted by jfuller at 2:20 PM on August 26, 2008

I want none of this adulthood.

I want to second the wonderfullness of Count Chocula and nth the motion for Fun Dip - especially the stick. The sticks for Fun Dip are manufactured by angels, from the milk that flows in the rivers of Paradise. Every morning God sits under a shady tree and munches a Fun Dip stick, before he gets down to performing miracles here on Earth.

People who grow up not to like Count Chocula and Fun Dip have lost touch with the infinite and the ineffable.
posted by Meatbomb at 2:21 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

On an age-related note, my grandparents began eating a bunch of junk food when I was a teenager. Grandma told me it was because they couldn't taste things like they could before, so they needed the extra salt, sweetness and fat of Cheetos and Vienna sausages. When I'm my grandmother's age I'll probably go back to enjoying deviled ham on saltines.

So take heart, MeFites! You may end up liking that food you used to like again!
posted by infinitewindow at 2:22 PM on August 26, 2008

Jesus, this is a terrible day. I really liked cortex, you know? This is like . . . I don't know. I'm struggling to come up with something as disappointing as learning about this . . . blasphemy. It's like--let's say--I finally got my chance to fuck Kate Winslet, and everything is going great, and we get into bed, and I find out that her pubic hair is shaved to look like the face of a clown.

I mean, I'd still fuck her, you know, but really, something good has been lost. So, thanks for nothing, cortex.

Wait, what?
posted by Skot at 2:23 PM on August 26, 2008 [4 favorites has favorites]

I always figured the little people just need more calories, what with their crazy-high metabolism and fast growing and exhausting cartwheeling all over my lawn. So they like the sweet things more.
posted by Tehanu at 2:24 PM on August 26, 2008

Oh, and God's breath? God's breath smells like Fun Dip stick, with a touch of Count Chocula and a barely discernible undertone of angelpussy. You'll just have to take my word for it.
posted by Meatbomb at 2:25 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

If I were an aging conservative Presidential candidate attempting to smear my opponent by undermining the confidence of the good people of the United States of American in said opponent's patriotism, I would be thrilled to hear that my oppo guys had found out that said opponent doesn't put ketchup on his hot dogs, so fundamentally right and righteous is that pairing in the eyes of God and baseball fans everywhere.

This would only be true if your man didn't need the electoral votes of Illinois to win because there is no way he could win the Land of Lincoln if he admitted to putting ketchup on his dogs.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:26 PM on August 26, 2008

Evangeline: "Vienna sausages. Loved 'em. What was my mother thinking?"

I just got my girlfriend to try some vienna sausages. She was extremely underwhelmed.

kimdog: "But: vienna sausages... in that pull top can with that.... ugh jelly stuff on them. Oh lord, how did I ever eat those things?"

If you throw them in the fridge that jelly gets 'jelly-ier' and better, then you can mix it with hot sauce and smear it on the sausages.

peeedro: "One for fish, one for you."

Then we drank High Life and watched a bunch of those commercials. Not kidding.
posted by Science! at 2:26 PM on August 26, 2008

I mean, we're talking about hot dog hot dogs here, right? Not sausages, not bratwurst or some other noble meat tube of that sort, but good old crappy horrible mystery meat concoctions that really should on no account be playing second fiddle to mere ketchup if the concern is with What You're Eating, right?

Ketchup, on those, a bad thing? Seriously? Has the world gone mad?
posted by cortex at 2:30 PM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

Condiments That Are Ok To Put On Hot Dogs

You forgot Cheese.

No, not real cheese, don't be silly.

I'm talking about fake cheese, the stuff that squeezes out of a tube, spigot or open sore. Might be Cheese Whiz but more likely a poorer, scrawnier cousin. Essentially a processed cheese product made from lard, artificial color and flavour compounds, refrigerator mold and old TV shows. To facilitate it's slide down one's gullet on a singing heartstring it's also known in the U.S. as American Cheese, which has a delightful triple meaning.
posted by CynicalKnight at 2:32 PM on August 26, 2008

"It is taboo to put ketchup on a Chicago hot dog; some hot dog stands don't even stock the condiment."

Wikipedia says it so it must be true
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:35 PM on August 26, 2008

*yanks Rod Serling out from behind curtain*

You did this! This is your work—you, and that Matheson jerk you hang out with! God, it's just The Eye of the Beholder again, too! Get some new material, damn you!
posted by cortex at 2:36 PM on August 26, 2008

Ketchup, on those, a bad thing? Seriously?

I always had you pegged as a deviant, Mr. Tex.
posted by Dave Faris at 2:39 PM on August 26, 2008

Not to derail too much, but Cortex's example of the electability of a ketchup-on-hot-dog eating president seemed familiar to me, and now I remember why.

Even a U.S. Senator Can Botch a Recipe for Success

And we all know how well Carol Moseley-Braun did when running for re-election and/or president.*

* In case you don't, she lost
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:45 PM on August 26, 2008

Ugh. I go away and everthing is candy and icing on cake. I come back and it's vienna sausages and pea soup??

Actually, I seem to recall some Spaghettio with meatballs talk. I may have been repressing that.

Paper dots.

I forgot about those!

If the subject has now engulfed fake cheese, then you can't go to Cheez Whiz (I wonder if that's still "good" on celery) without taking it all the way to Velveeta. Which is, I mean... MONSTROUS. When I saw that shitty Thing ripoff, The Stuff, Velveeta is what I thought of. (yes, I know "the stuff" was white)
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 2:49 PM on August 26, 2008

Then we drank High Life and watched a bunch of those commercials. Not kidding.

Thank you citizens of Vi-anna. Looks like you Habs-burgs know a thing or two about living the High Life.
posted by peeedro at 2:52 PM on August 26, 2008

I PUT RELISH ON MY HOT DOGS. MUSTARD AND SWEET RELISH. IT IS BEAUTIFUL AND GRAND.

Durn Bronzefist:

I have, or at least had, relatives in Sistersville, WV. Sistersville is a tiny, dying oil town on the Ohio. In the early 80s, it had an A&P as its grocery store. They carried Velveeta, naturally...

in the gourmet section.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:00 PM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

There are certain things ketchup should not be put on, but mustard should not be. It looks and smells like something that's come out of a baby's diaper. It tastes like spiced paint. Relish is like all the worst tasting bits of various pickles got together and added sugar. Horseradish combines the worst aspects of wasabi and mayo. Anyone who serves me food with any of these three condiments on it will be wearing them. And if it's mustard, I'll projectile vomit on you where you stand, improving both the odor and the flavor of the food you're serving.
posted by Eideteker at 3:02 PM on August 26, 2008

cortex makes the baby eyeballkid cry.

You forgot Cheese.

No, not real cheese, don't be silly. - CynicalKnight

Cheese? JESUS WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE. I mean, I'm down with the theory that nearly anything can go on a fucking pizza, but when you start to apply said theory to the hot dog you upset nature's delicate balance.'

I mean there are other answers to the hot dog condiment question: kraut and onions, but that's it (and both of those are in addition to the mustard. THAT IS ALL. STOP THIS MADNESS.
posted by eyeballkid at 3:02 PM on August 26, 2008

I apologize, I was so angry that errant punctuation spewed forth from my keyboard.
posted by eyeballkid at 3:04 PM on August 26, 2008

Ok, but cheese on a tuna sandwich? Tuna melt, of course, but a tuna sandwich?!

I had to deal with this very issue today.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 3:06 PM on August 26, 2008

Eideteker: dude, roast beef without horeseradish?

Don't go all mint jelly on me. That's lamb talk.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 3:08 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

And I'd like to point out that any argument against ketchup on hot dogs that is premised on the axiom that a traditional Chicago-style dog isn't, itself, an embarrassingly confused spectacle of largesse and lack of self-control is an argument that might as well be being made on sports talk radio.
posted by cortex at 3:08 PM on August 26, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

I was walking through Townsville's Flinders Street Mall once, in the days of yore, and I was thoughtfully eating an apple, ruminating on various matters, like "I wonder if that creepy secondhand bookseller guy has any more copies of Black Label Penthouse yet?", for I was only sixteen and living in Queensland and I enjoyed such forbidden delicacies. Alas, the apple had a spudgy bit in it, all brown and chalky, wholly unpleasant, so I threw it to the ground with my mouth (tramps and vagrants spit, but gentlemen throw things to the ground with their mouths), where it landed in some fossilized pigeon poop.

A child, parentless (the parent was probably about, just not paying any attention), appeared seemingly out of nowhere, snatched the piece of apple away, and thrust it into his greedy, drooling maw.

A piece of apple. Rotten. That I had half-chewed on before spitting onto the ground, where it landed in birdshit, was eaten by a strange child. He looked at me while he was doing it, too, as though seeking my approval. I think I also detected some degree of infantile mocking: "Throw away perfectly good food, will you?" I was one part dismayed, one part reviled, with my final part (I have only three parts) wondering what other goodies I could put in disturbing situations to see if he would eat. I also considered giving him the rest of the apple, as he was obviously quite hungry, but apart from the dodgy bit it was actually pretty good.
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:10 PM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

The more I read about Chicagoans, the more I hope I never meet one. Everything I hear makes me want to punch them in the face with both my feet at the same time.

Now Pittsburgh... give me a Primanti Bros. sandwich anytime.
posted by Eideteker at 3:10 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Roast beef is actually excellent with a little oil & vinegar, or a balsamic vinaigrette. If you haven't tried it, I genuinely recommend it (not kidding).
posted by Eideteker at 3:12 PM on August 26, 2008

Metafilter: an argument that might as well be being made on sports talk radio.

Metafilter: an embarrassingly confused spectacle of largesse and lack of self-control.
posted by infinitewindow at 3:13 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

I got yer back, cortex. My default hot dog configuration (when chili is unavailable, in other words), is bun, dog, and roughly equal parts of mustard and ketchup.
posted by chimaera at 3:15 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

And don't talk to me about sweet relish, which is vile and I will not tolerate it on or in any of my food.

Give me a nice strong dill relish and I'll talk.
posted by chimaera at 3:18 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

I've never had a dill relish, but hate sweet pickles and love dill, so will have to track some down. Can you buy it or do you have to make it?

Hmm... I could definitely see balsamic with roast beef. Will give it a try, but I plan to have horseradish on hand for backup. (white, not that horrendous pink stuff)
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 3:25 PM on August 26, 2008

I put ketchup on my tofu dogs. But I am not real.
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 3:26 PM on August 26, 2008

Some other pixifoods I remember: Hostess chocolate pies, with that crusting of sugar over the pie. Snack Pack pudding in those little cans. Jell-O pudding pops. General Foods stopped making those, didn't they?

I used to eat those by the wagon-load, but I wouldn't be able to stomach them now. Too sweet.
posted by droplet at 3:28 PM on August 26, 2008

cortex writes "Ketchup, on those, a bad thing? Seriously? Has the world gone mad?"

Well, for me the only condiments that go well with hot dogs are mustard, onions and relish. If you add ketchup to that, you can't really taste the other stuff. Too sweet and cloying. But the hot dog itself is not great to begin with, which is why it needs condiments, just not sugary sweet tomato stuff. I can handle a hot dog with just mustard, but not with just ketchup. The Chicago style is pretty good, but leave out the tomato wedges.
posted by krinklyfig at 3:30 PM on August 26, 2008

seanmpuckett writes "I still have peanut butter & Tang sandwiches for lunch sometimes. "

Peanut butter and dill pickle. Seriously. On whole wheat bread, toasted.
posted by krinklyfig at 3:37 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Ooh, peanut butter, mayo, and banana. Swap out lettuce for the banana if you want something less sweet.

And an RC Cola.
posted by cortex at 3:46 PM on August 26, 2008

Oh, sweet jaysus. I bought a can of Dinty Moore Irish Stew a few weeks ago. The can was huge and the price was right, so I figured it'd be OK for lunch. No. Dog food. The opened can smelled like Alpo. The microwaved product smelled like microwaved Alpo. And the bowl, after it had sat in the dishwasher for a couple of days (I had to flush the bulk of it) smelled like the dog's dish after a hard rain and a week in the sun.

KFC: I live in an area of town where nobody delivers. It's about three clicks from anywhere. But there's a KFC two blocks away. Every month or so, I go for the 5-piece. I finish it, and think "never again". Then I go back the next month. And the thing, is, there's no value. It costs more than ten bucks after taxes, and the pieces are tiny. It's like the old saw: the food was terrible, and such small portions. What kind of mutant dwarf chickens do they use? At least it wasn't a failure pile in a sadness bowl.

They left off Chef Boy-Ar-Dee. Mini Ravioli? Beef Ravioli? Beefaroni? Whatever it is, it all tastes the same: like sweet ketchup and glue.
posted by ten pounds of inedita at 3:47 PM on August 26, 2008

See, the thing about Dinty Moore and Chef Boy-Ar-Dee (any with beef) is that they seemed like dog food as a kid, too. Delicious, meaty dog food. Chicken pot pies were always like vomit.

Why these things were appetizing, yet I'd rather starve than eat brussel sprouts, I'll never know.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 3:50 PM on August 26, 2008

Oh, yeah: I once broke up with a girl because she put mayonnaise on her hot dogs. No joke.

I'm cooking three hot dogs as I speak. Franks, grilled. Mustard only, on little hoagie rolls.
posted by ten pounds of inedita at 3:51 PM on August 26, 2008

Durn Bronzefist writes "Ok, but cheese on a tuna sandwich? Tuna melt, of course, but a tuna sandwich?!"

The perfect hackers diet lunch food. Two pieces of bread, whatever vegetables you'd like, half a can of tuna and a slice of cheese. 500 easily portioned calories.

krinklyfig writes "Peanut butter and dill pickle. Seriously. On whole wheat bread, toasted."

Well peanut butter goes with anything.
posted by Mitheral at 3:53 PM on August 26, 2008

One thing that always mystified me is the flavor of purple. It's universal: when you're presented with some purple candy or kids' snack, you know exactly what taste is in store. And yet, for some reason, the flavor is always called 'grape'. It tastes nothing like real grapes! How in the world did this come about? My best guess is that a candy cartel discovered a flavor they could produce for next to nothing and decided to collectively bully the world into thinking it tasted like some arbitrarily chosen fruit.
posted by painquale at 3:59 PM on August 26, 2008

I still love SpaghettiOs...I eat them for breakfast...and now they have Calcium! I also love pixie sticks, nerds (which really weren't around when I was a kid), Dinty Moore stew, cheetos (especially red-hot), KFC, Taco Bell...heck....I didn't get to eat much of any of those as a kid, maybe that's why I still like them.

Things I used to like and no longer do: Miracle whip, candy bars, and cake. Don't really like the sweet baked goods anymore. Oh, and my Mom's cooking....talk about salt and grease!
posted by The Light Fantastic at 4:00 PM on August 26, 2008

St. Joseph's children's aspirin tasted so, so good to me when I was a kid. It's a wonder I'm still alive.
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 4:07 PM on August 26, 2008

for some reason, the flavor is always called 'grape'. It tastes nothing like real grapes!

I've thought this many times over the years, but at some point I either started eating different grapes or "grape" changed, because I reached a point where I could actually see what they were going for.

Now, if you want to talk about the insidious elimination of lime from all flavouring to be replaced by some kind of "raspberry" red abomination, I'm totally there.

Also, "blue", regarded seemingly everywhere as "antifreeze flavour" is awesome stuff.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 4:14 PM on August 26, 2008

Purple doesn't taste like grape - it tastes like raisins!
posted by MythMaker at 4:14 PM on August 26, 2008

And yet, for some reason, the flavor is always called 'grape'. It tastes nothing like real grapes!

Clearly you have never eaten Concord grapes or any Welch's product made from them (jelly, jam, juice, etc.). The Concord grape has a flavor quite distinct from the more prevalent red and green varieties. All of those "grape flavor" items are mimicking the taste of Concord grapes, albeit some better than others.
posted by briank at 4:38 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

I go on a Necco wafers binge about twice a year, followed by massive injections of insulin.

I still like several artificial flavors in moderation: grape, strawberry, and banana particularly. I don't view them as "substitutes for the real thing", but as totally separate flavors than the ones they're supposed to resemble.

Spaghetti-Os, though, are genuinely vile and viscous. Cap'n Crunch is better off being used for traction when you're stuck in the snow in the winter, I can't imagine eating the stuff anymore. Most "great American candy bars"--notably Snickers--are terrible little gobs made of building materials and goo.

I still like KFC, but my doctor would threaten to kill me if she caught me near the stuff. She wouldn't have to, of course, my arteries would have spackled shut long before she could get here.

The really great KFC item they had when I was a kid (in NC at the time) was Kentucky Fried Chicken Livers. The franchisee in our town used to take the chicken livers, dip them in Original Recipe [tm] and deep-fry them. They were sold in the little tubs that mashed potatoes came in, and the calories per container needed scientific notation to be written out. Man, oh man, oh man, those were good.
posted by gimonca at 4:53 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

You know, I had a pleasant afternoon helping out in an office where the computers are doing office-type things, not showing MeFi. Then I came home to read that I live in the same city with someone who puts ketchup on hot dogs. Ah cortex lad, please get counseling.
posted by Cranberry at 4:53 PM on August 26, 2008

Back in the late sixties, early seventies, my mom would often make this atrocious recipe when she had luncheons or cocktail parties. I remember loving it as a kid, but I couldn't imagine eating it now.
posted by Dave Faris at 4:54 PM on August 26, 2008

Cadbury Creme Eggs first arrived in the USA in the early 80s, about 1982 or so. I had a more-or-less adult palate by then, and at the time I thought they were great. Nowadays, I think they're awful, but my guess is that this might be one item where the product itself has been changed for the worse, rather than my tastebuds.
posted by gimonca at 4:56 PM on August 26, 2008

Purple flavor actually tastes like Concord grapes, which I didn't realize till I was an adult and had real Concord grapes for the first time. As a kid in California I'd only ever eaten the green grapes growing in our backyard, and I always figured that the flavor of grape candy or drinks was just some random fruity flavor made in a lab somewhere. Like Hawaiian Punch--what the hell was that supposed to be?

Anybody remember Space Food Sticks? Chocolate and Peanut butter were my favorite, and I can still recall how gummy and pasty they were--but they really weren't that different from Power Bars, come to think of it.
posted by tula at 5:03 PM on August 26, 2008

what about Jerky Chew?

Im not sure I could make it through the check out when trying to purchace as an adult.
posted by captainsohler at 5:04 PM on August 26, 2008

Dave Faris -- I have made that very dish, but I used those little frozen meatballs from Sam's Club instead of cocktail weenies. It was a hit with my Wednesday night poker group. It's a perfect manfood recipe -- pour package of frozen meatballs into crock pot, add grape jelly, add chili sauce, forget about it for an hour, realize "Oh hell! I should stir that!", do so, and it's done.

It's really not as bad as the recipe makes it sound...
posted by BitterOldPunk at 5:17 PM on August 26, 2008

St. Joseph's children's aspirin tasted so, so good to me when I was a kid. It's a wonder I'm still alive.
posted by Meatbomb at 5:18 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Boy-Ar-Dee's Beef Ravioli. At that age I liked taking them apart on the plate or with my teeth and scraping out the beef filling, which I didn't know enough to liken to potted meat or dog food.

I never did like the cheese ones.

Ellio's Cheese Pizza (soft and puffy bread base).

Miniature sweet packaged cereals (Froot Loops, etc.)

The appeal of these treats were that my family did NOT serve them regularly; they appeared as a concession to the kids when Mom and Dad went out for the evening or (in the case of the cereals) on long car trips.

The appeal of the ravioli was completely lost when, as a starving graduate student, I tried them once or twice as a cheap meal.
posted by bad grammar at 5:22 PM on August 26, 2008

I loved Mother's pink and white frosted circus animal cookies with colored sprinkles. Now they taste like candlewax, Crisco & sugar-frosted particle board with colored sprinkles.
posted by tula at 5:24 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Boy, I sure loved Cheerios^TM as a kid. But then one morning I poured a bowlful for myself, added the milk and a teaspoon of sugar, and sat down at the table to eat. I ate almost all of it and then noticed something odd. What the heck is that? pokepoke. poke poke. poke.

Worms. Freakin' MEALWORM GRUBS. In. My. Cereal.

I have never eaten cheerios since. Though I have been known to eat much stranger things than a mealworm grub as an adult--but at that point in my development, my palate wasn't ready for class Insecta as potential protein.
posted by exlotuseater at 5:26 PM on August 26, 2008

Now that I think of it, I recently re-visited chocolate chip pancakes (with butter and syrup) with a side of hot chocolate. It used to be my childhood comfort food. It was like eating a stack of big, soft, buttery chocolate chip cookies!

Today? It was like eating a stack of big, soft, buttery chocolate chip cookies that make my pancreas cry.

And I still cannot fathom hating on KFC. Especially extra crispy.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 5:34 PM on August 26, 2008

Only the Chef Boyardee pizza with the leeetle pepperoni slices would do when I was young.

My brothers and I used to snarf up those heavily salted, roasted-in-their-shells pumpkin seeds that came in the red packet with the Indian chief on the side - shells and all. I might just die if I tried that now.
posted by ersatzkat at 5:51 PM on August 26, 2008

Peanut butter and dill pickle. Seriously. On whole wheat bread, toasted.

Are you, uh, pregnant? Might want to get checked out. Even if you're a dude; science is doing crazy things nowadays.
posted by inigo2 at 5:55 PM on August 26, 2008

Incidentally, and to drag us all right back to hot dogs where no one really wants to be any more, a proper hot dog should be bright red, should extand past the bun about 1.5 inches on either end, and the bun should have no crusts on the sides and be steamed.

Serve that up with a slice of brown bread, and mind yuh napkin, ayuh.
posted by rusty at 6:05 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

And I still cannot fathom hating on KFC. Especially extra crispy.

Oh, god. A few months ago I had my monthly KFC fix and they gave me Extra Crispy instead of Original. It just about turned me off food for life. Like salted Crisco on a Wasa cracker. Nothing of it tasted remotely like chicken.
posted by ten pounds of inedita at 6:26 PM on August 26, 2008

I like Pop-tarts and Fig Newtons more now than I ever did as a child.

Perhaps I'm regressing?
posted by spinifex23 at 6:28 PM on August 26, 2008

Mallow Cups. They look like a darker version of Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, except....the chocolate is 5 times sweeter, and the filling is an insanely sweet marshmallow cream. Makes my teeth ache just to think of them.
posted by pushing paper and bottoming chairs at 6:34 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Yeah, ditto spinifex23. But then... do any children like Fig Newtons? I thought adults kept foisting it on kids because the adults like them.

And anything with marshmallow isn't ok. Never was. Except over a camp fire, and then only if I don't have a hot dog handy. Wagon wheels were acceptable halloween candy when you've eaten everything else, including those rock hard caramels in the orange and black bat wrappers.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 6:42 PM on August 26, 2008

Just got back from the grocery, picked up Cheerios and Lucky Charms. Hell yes.

And I just learned what fluffernutters were the other day -- turns out a friend of mine has been living on them for weeks until his new job starts.
posted by LordSludge at 6:42 PM on August 26, 2008

Foods that I liked as a kid, but now can barely eat:

I no longer have the courage to chew jawbreakers into little pieces, and the flavor isn't worth sucking on them.

Bubblegum ice cream, or any kid marketed ice cream flavor. Any cheap ass ice-cream, popsickle, fudge-pop or orange push-up that you can get from the ice cream truck excepting the rare it's-it.

Chalky/Waxy chocolate. Reese's pieces. Mexican cocoa eaten straight.

Jolly Ranchers, and jelly beans that aren't flavored in the middle, now and laters, any fake banana candy.

Hush Puppies from Long John Silver's.

Pizza rolls.

Anthing made by Hostess, Little Debbie, etc...

A homemade pure mixture of honey and hydrogenated smooth peanut butter stirred and eaten straight with a spoon.

Otter pops are borderline.

Lik 'm Aid powder is gross, but I still have some fondness for the flavorless but oh so sweet lik a stiks they are packaged with. I even found them sold seperately once.

...icing is just the nastiest thing you can do to a brownie.

While I generally agree with you, coconut-pecan frosting (AKA german chocolate cake frosting) is ok on a brownie.
posted by BrotherCaine at 6:46 PM on August 26, 2008

OH!

I remember one. Freeze-dried ice cream. Does anyone else remember this? It's the same ice cream astronauts ate. I honestly don't think I could put that in my mouth now.

Back in the late sixties, early seventies, my mom would often make this atrocious recipe

Jesus fucking Christ. Was she punishing people for something?
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 6:46 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

On the hotdog derail. I think what Cortex stated is an abomination, but apparently 23% of Americans and quite a few Germans agree with him. I will say that kosher hot dogs are not that great, and the best hot dogs have natural casings and taste more like bockwurst than baloney. Although I prefer few condiments on my hot dogs, I'm willing to entertain any but not all together of the following: mustard, onions, jalapenos, cheese, fresh salsa, curry.
posted by BrotherCaine at 6:51 PM on August 26, 2008

Dangit Eideteker, why'd you have to go and mention Primanti's? I was doing perfectly fine out here in Arizona until you reminded me that I'm about two thousand miles from Primanti's. Coleslaw and fries right on the goddamned sandwich oh my god Primanti's I miss you.

Circus Peanuts: shaped vaguely like a peanut, feels almost like a marshmallow, tastes nearly like banana. What the hell is it? Frigging disgusting, is what it is.

Cap'n Crunch: great stuff. But you have to know how to eat it. You can't just chomp down on it like it was any old food. There's a trick.

Still delicious: Jolly Ranchers. Still godawful: Necco wafers. And candy corn. Blasphemy against jellybeans: jellybeans that taste like buttered popcorn.

Oh, and you know what I have always loved? Easy Cheese. I used to beg my mom for it and she'd be all "wtf I am not buying you cheese in an aerosol can." Now I'm a grownup and I can have it anytime I want. I put it on the fancy Rosemary & Olive Oil Triscuits, because that's class.
posted by rifflesby at 7:05 PM on August 26, 2008

Oh god, dnab - I'm sure I haven't had a chunk of freeze-dried ice cream in my mouth for thirty years, but there's such a horrible physical memory associated with just the words themselves that now I feel like I need to go brush my teeth to scrub off both the taste and the texture.
posted by yhbc at 7:14 PM on August 26, 2008

Several important things:

The purple flavor is not 'grape' - it is 'grapity'.

I agree that Lik-M-Aid stix are sublime.

Chocodiles.
posted by dirtdirt at 7:17 PM on August 26, 2008

I'm happy to see Joe Posnanski get some love. He's one of my favorite baseball writers.
posted by Kwine at 7:21 PM on August 26, 2008

Eideteker: "Now Pittsburgh... give me a Primanti Bros. sandwich anytime."

I do love their sandwiches and their original shop is ten minutes from my house but god I can't eat them very often. I'm really hoping to live to see grandkids someday. I think that Pittsburghers of the past either didn't expect to live past 50 anyway or didn't want to.
posted by octothorpe at 7:25 PM on August 26, 2008

As a young child I enjoyed chopped liver, anchovy paste, and the vertebrae I picked out of canned salmon. Now I can't stand meat or seafood.

Somehow, I don't quite feel like I fit in.
posted by needs more cowbell at 7:47 PM on August 26, 2008

I will say that kosher hot dogs are not that great

YOU SAY IT WITH FORKED TONGUE, TOVARISCH.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:14 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

I have no idea what most of you US-ian folks are going on about but for me, Musk Sticks were the taste of Summer. I'd be allowed to buy a 5c bag when we went to the local pool. Overcome with nostalgia, I bought a packet last year and nearly threw up my toenails at the cloying perfume sweetness.
posted by ninazer0 at 8:37 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you let anyone see you drawing pictures of imaginary bugs.

WHAT.
That's where I've gone wrong, apparently. Where were you to tell me this twenty years ago, Greg Nog?

The main food I can think of that falls into this category would be drinks of Dad's bottle of RC Cola when he wasn't looking. I wasn't ever interested in having a bottle for myself. It was the sneaktheivery that made it extra delicious. I can't bear to drink sugared soft drinks any more - they make my mouth feel gross afterward and I really like having teeth. But back then it was tasty.

My Mom would sometimes make us Ramen Noodles as a special treat. We had no idea that they were the cheapest of the cheap or that we would spend overlarge chunks of our late teens/early twenties subsisting on the nasty stuff.

I would also add Twizzlers to this category, but I've always hated Twizzlers. Twizzlers and pretzels. And sweet pickles. Bleargh.
posted by louche mustachio at 8:39 PM on August 26, 2008

Wow. Didn't think I'd comment anymore in this thread, but I agree: the Fun Dip sticks are still awesome.

I want to see this thread hit LongBoing numbers of comments.
posted by infinitewindow at 8:40 PM on August 26, 2008

YOU SAY IT WITH FORKED TONGUE, TOVARISCH.

No, I don't. It's a crime to take the great meat they put into kosher dogs and then cram it into a disgusting artificial casing or make it skinless so that all the juicy flavor leaks out when you cook it.

But then I only eat hot dogs about once a year because it's so hard to find the good stuff in the SF Bay Area.
posted by BrotherCaine at 8:47 PM on August 26, 2008

Cap'n Crunch: great stuff. But you have to know how to eat it. You can't just chomp down on it like it was any old food. There's a trick.

Yes! I cannot allow the noble crunchnugget be maligned any longer. The trick is: stir them up in the milk and let them get slightly soggy -- not completely soggy! That's doing it wrong! Just that outer rough part of the nugget -- and then you may proceed to eat them painlessly.

Forget about drinking the milk. That would be ridiculous.

Oh, soooo good.
posted by brain cloud at 8:50 PM on August 26, 2008

I've never had a dill relish, but hate sweet pickles and love dill, so will have to track some down. Can you buy it or do you have to make it?

No one has answered you so I must, because sweet relish is vile and THERE IS DILL RELISH!!! Heinz makes it and it is glorious!!! It has saved my life. I live in the city and only the suburban grocery stores around here carry it, but it is worth it (when I go to my parents').
posted by Pax at 8:57 PM on August 26, 2008

I would also add Twizzlers to this category, but I've always hated Twizzlers. Twizzlers and pretzels. And sweet pickles. Bleargh.

Clearly, you are ill. Get to a doctor post haste.

Twizzlers will always be excellent. Anyone who doesn't understand this is deeply, deeply flawed.

Pretzels, depends on who makes them, sometimes great. The Rold Gold sort of prezels are OK, but they're mostly crappy dough and salt. Mostly just make you thirsty.

Sweet pickles not so much, unless they're done with spices. But if they're done right, great stuff.
posted by krinklyfig at 9:06 PM on August 26, 2008

Giant spoonfuls of raw sugar just don't taste the same anymore.

Also, you haven't lived until you've eaten a whole roll of tropical fruit Life Savers all at once. It's the skydiving of candy experiences.
posted by Camofrog at 9:29 PM on August 26, 2008

The skydiving of candy is alternating Karikari ume or some other salty candy with super lemon (the hard candy with the lemon powder on the outside). Scratch that, it's not the skydiving of candy, it's more like riding a bucking rodeo bull of sour candy with your tongue.
posted by BrotherCaine at 9:54 PM on August 26, 2008

tula: you can still find the old style of, mmm, not exactly _frosted_ circus animal cookie, but there are a bunch of different kinds on the shelf. I'm about 4 for 5 in getting the right ones that you can suck all the frosting off of, and then end up with a slightly damp circus animal cookie in the middle. I don't partake as often now though, because holy jesus almighty, they're basically Crisco and sugar.

On the topic, though - growing up, grandma always had the 1lb bag of ginger snaps, and I couldn't stand them. I preferred the soft cookies that were coated with crystalized sugar on the top, whose name I can't remember, but they came in a red package. I'd work my way around the cookie to get JUST to the sugary crunchy center and mmm. Now? When I'm not getting the coconut wafers, I'm getting ginger snaps. The _same_ ginger snaps. *sigh*

Speaking of 'grape flavor' - artificial strawberry flavor has pretty much wrecked me for the real thing. There was some strawberry flavored HFCS goo in a tube deal when I was a kid that I _lived_ for. If I had thought about it, I probably would have found the kitchen shears to cut open the tube to get at the last few licks of sweet sweet strawberry goodness.

I also used to live on cinnamon sugar toast, but haven't been able to abide by it as an adult. Buttered toast, fine, but putting _sugar_ on it? yeow. I still prefer my waffles and pancakes with sugar and not syrup, though.
posted by Kyol at 10:08 PM on August 26, 2008

I preferred the soft cookies that were coated with crystalized sugar on the top, whose name I can't remember, but they came in a red package.

Kyol: Archway cookies? Those are teh yum (I like the chocolate ones).
posted by brain cloud at 10:13 PM on August 26, 2008

Like salted Crisco on a Wasa cracker.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

I cannot allow the noble crunchnugget be maligned any longer. The trick is: stir them up in the milk and let them get slightly soggy -- not completely soggy! That's doing it wrong! Just that outer rough part of the nugget -- and then you may proceed to eat them painlessly.

You have revealed that which must not be revealed! Prepare to die!

But then I only eat hot dogs about once a year because it's so hard to find the good stuff in the SF Bay Area.

Get thee to Top Dog posthaste!
posted by The Light Fantastic at 11:43 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

All I know is, I bought Lemonheads as a kid every time I went to the movie theater, and to this day I have an almost daily craving for the things.
posted by zardoz at 12:44 AM on August 27, 2008

Ooh, lemonheads.

And Teaberry gum. mmm
posted by rifflesby at 2:10 AM on August 27, 2008

I stand by my earlier statement: cuisine is the most subjective thing known to man.

I mean, you might not want to listen to traditional Chinese music for three hours, but it won't KILL you.

For many people though, the very idea of eating horse or dog or insects is a deal-breaker.
posted by chuckdarwin at 2:45 AM on August 27, 2008

Now 'N' Laters. Ye gods and their stripey pajamas, those pointy little bastards could probably pull a filling right out of a tooth.

This happened to me as a fourth-grader!
posted by blasdelf at 3:02 AM on August 27, 2008

Thank the maker this never happened to peanut butter.
I always feared it would...that somehow I'd lose my taste for the melty-buttery-brown substance that constituted >65% of my daily childhood intake. Somehow, however, that taste remains unblemished. I have even consciously tried to upgrade my love of PB...move on to natural PB, gourmet PB, farmstand PB. Can't do it. Nothing beats a good heaping pile of JIF on bread. 25 years later and it's still my favourite lunch.
posted by ThusSpakeZarathustra at 5:02 AM on August 27, 2008

Mine is quite simple - it used to be that Campbell's tomato soup was luscious, tomato-y and wonderful. These days, however, it has become a thin, salty tomato-colored gruel. What the hell happened?

Also - ketchup on hot dogs FTW, but also really hot mustard (preferably Colman's, but Grey Poupon will do in a pinch).
posted by kcds at 6:16 AM on August 27, 2008

I've been enjoying this thread but I can't help noticing something. It would appear that people are actually eating Dinty Moore Beef Stew. Dinty Moore exists for one reason, and one reason only: to be given away at canned food drives. I challenge you to go to a canned food drive and not see that big ol' can with the fingerprint on top.

Now go to a recycling center and see if you can find one empty.
posted by tommasz at 6:41 AM on August 27, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Campbell's tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich is still one of my favorite lunches, and, like TSZ, I'm glad my tastebuds haven't outgrown it. (Although I will say that Campbell's tomato soup with some added beef broth and a little sherry is the perfect complement to that post-Thanksgiving turkey-and-stuffing sandwich.)

Pop-Tarts are the only childhood food I can think of that have lost their appeal now. My favorite flavor was always cinnamon, and now those taste like sawdust. I suppose if I could stomach the thought of eating another Hot Pocket, I'd feel the same way about those, too.

Also, tangentially: Why do so many people look at me like I'm crazy when I mention peanut butter and bacon sandwiches? Were my parents culinary instincts just weird? I still make those for myself.
posted by emelenjr at 7:02 AM on August 27, 2008

Why do so many people look at me like I'm crazy when I mention peanut butter and bacon sandwiches? Were my parents culinary instincts just weird? I still make those for myself.

No, they are one of nature's perfect foods, only improved perhaps by a little banana.
posted by jessamyn at 7:06 AM on August 27, 2008

I ate a can of Dinty Moore beef stew once.

Once.
posted by rusty at 7:18 AM on August 27, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

go to a recycling center and see if you can find one empty.

If you have the stomach for Dinty Moore, then you generally eat the can as well.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 7:42 AM on August 27, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Bananas = white turds.
posted by exlotuseater at 8:14 AM on August 27, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

nickyskye: that's blasphemy to say anything against violet candies. Mmmm. Ms. nobeagle and I have to order a 24 ct. case every year or so, and fight to make them last. *Way* better than thrills gum (mmmmmmm).

At the same time I usually order some Black Jack, Beemans and Clove gum. Wow, I can never tell which of the three I like more. I think Clove has a slight edge despite my love of licorice. And yet they're so hard to find; it's like people don't want clove flavoured gum?!

As far as kid foods, the worst isn't something that I've done myself, but my four year old mixes milk and soda. Yes, the milk curdles. Yes, one can see the curdled particulate getting sucked into the straw as he drinks it. Yes he loves it, and yes, I almost threw up while watching him drink. Please may he grow out of this stage.

Bacon and peanut butter? Hmmm, I'm going to have to try that.
posted by nobeagle at 8:37 AM on August 27, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Coming back to this thread to see what everyone else has written is truly a joy. Also - red hots and fireballs. As a kid, things that made your lips feel like they were on fire seemed like a good idea.
posted by marginaliana at 8:53 AM on August 27, 2008

my four year old mixes milk and soda...Please may he grow out of this stage.

Laverne and Shirley never did.
posted by Pax at 9:03 AM on August 27, 2008

I am having SpaghettiOs for lunch today. At my grown-up office desk.
posted by Tehanu at 10:24 AM on August 27, 2008

I wouldn't mix plain milk with plain soda just because I don't really care for milk. But otherwise, that doesn't seem so strange to me. It curdles? Isn't that basically an egg cream without the chocolate syrup? Or we used to make a drink at the bar that was like an egg cream but with Kahlua instead of chocolate syrup. It's not even that far off from an ice cream soda or root beer float, which are my faves, yum yum.

HOT DOGS: I never knew so many Americans were so virulently anti-ketchup on hot dogs. I can certainly understand not caring for it, as I don't care for sauerkraut on mine, but always figured most people considered it one of the many possible options for hot dog condiments.

As I've grown and the many varieties of hot dogs have become known to me, kosher beef franks have emerged as my favorite, I must admit. And I do like ketchup and mustard on them, steamed. But I appreciate rusty's shoutout of red hot dogs and split-top frankfurter rolls, neither of which I've ever laid eyes on outside the Pine Tree State, though I've heard they can be found.
posted by lampoil at 11:06 AM on August 27, 2008

lampoil: split-top buns are New England-wide. I'm sort of embarrassed to admit that I only found out that isn't how hot dogs buns are everywhere in this, my thirty-first year on earth.

Red dogs are Maine-only though. Despite being from away, I've come to firmly believe it is the color god intended hot dogs to be.
posted by rusty at 11:55 AM on August 27, 2008

Ah, childhood... (What was I thinking?) I can clearly remember eating bacon and grape jelly sandwiches (The salty! The sweet! Perfect together!) and now, I'm afraid to make one now for the fear that my childhood memories of it would be ruined. Also, I used to eat Campbell's soup straight out of the can - no cooking, no diluting. I'm pretty sure that would kill me if I did it today.

One thing I never grew out of though - Ranch dressing. I may not use it in the excess I did when I was younger, but it's still delicious. (Only Hidden Valley though - no knockoffs.)
posted by JerseyBear at 11:56 AM on August 27, 2008

Lampoil: Oh wow - I completely forgot about chocolate egg creams. I can't get them down here (currently live in Texas) and most of my friends think there's something deeply wrong with me when I explain the concept to them. But God those things are good...
posted by JerseyBear at 11:58 AM on August 27, 2008

Egg creams - let's name a drink after two ingredients it doesn't contain!

But seriously, the one place in Rochester you could get one closed years ago.
posted by tommasz at 12:03 PM on August 27, 2008

I forgot one of my childhood pleasures that now disgusts me. Filling every single square on a waffle with syrup before eating. Note that this requires going back and refilling the starting squares as the syrup has started to soak through the waffle by the time you are done. Oh, and fake maple syrup, what's up with that?
posted by BrotherCaine at 7:09 PM on August 27, 2008

Speaking of Pittsburgh, oh how I miss the Oakland Original! (Because I no longer live there—I assume it still exists. Now I'm getting scared. Someone please tell me it still exists!)

What goes on hot dogs? Chili, of course. Maybe some onions or mustard. If you don't have chili, ketchup and mustard will do.

I read the description of a Chicago hot dog with growing disbelief and revulsion. It sounds like something Lovecraft might have come up with. If that abomination were the only kind of hot dog I could get (perish the thought!), I'd never eat another.
posted by Crabby Appleton at 9:00 PM on August 27, 2008

took half full ziplocks of sugar to school in 3-4th grade and ate them with a spoon

underwood canned meat if whats in it doesnt hurt you it also comes with a handy buzzsaw lid you can wear on your finger

shoneys breakfast bar i must have consumed several 5000+ calorie meals plates full of bacon and waffles with syrup and butter in every cell

the only one i still enjoy is strawberry quik
posted by headless at 12:55 AM on August 28, 2008