Comments on: Rumors of Steve Job's Demise Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

Rumors of Steve Job's Demise Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

ZenMasterThis — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 09:43:41 -0800

Steve Jobs hangs on.

By: iamkimiam

iamkimiam — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 09:52:26 -0800

Obit, retry, fail, ignore?

By: lumensimus

lumensimus — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 09:53:18 -0800

Jobs', not Job's.

By: DU

DU — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 09:53:27 -0800

Insanely not dead.

By: eyeballkid

eyeballkid — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 09:56:47 -0800

Netcraft confirms it:... eh. I can't even finish it.

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 09:56:48 -0800

iLive

By: blucevalo

blucevalo — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:01:04 -0800

has XXXX. He was TK. Jobs XXXX, TK said XXXXX. That's what I want my obituary to say.

By: ZenMasterThis

ZenMasterThis — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:03:40 -0800

Jobs', not Job's. posted by lumensimus at 12:53 PM on August 29 D'oh!

By: lumensimus

lumensimus — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:05:39 -0800

It's kind of neat that the URL will be the same, regardless :)

By: Plutor

Plutor — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:06:23 -0800

lumensimus: "Jobs', not Job's." Its Jobs's. The Elements of Style, chapter 2: "Form the possessive singular of nouns with 's. Follow this rule whatever the final consonant."

By: pedantic

pedantic — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:07:08 -0800

The list of premature obituaries on Wikipedia is amazing. I think you've made it when news agencies draft obits ahead of time. It's comedic black gold. People are in a hurry to publish the news when you've got all the time in the world.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:08:08 -0800

By: mrgrimm

mrgrimm — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:12:25 -0800

ferk.

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:13:22 -0800

.

By: Jahaza

Jahaza — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:15:57 -0800

Steve Jobs = still alive Generalissimo Franco = still dead

By: DU

DU — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:17:57 -0800

You have some applications open. Are you sure you want to die right now? [Y/N]

By: mwhybark

mwhybark — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:18:29 -0800

Abe Vigoda status update. Natch.

By: lumensimus

lumensimus — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:18:47 -0800

I agree, Plutor, but there is apparently some debate on the matter.

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:20:07 -0800

Forced quit?

By: rokusan

rokusan — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:20:31 -0800

"Steve Jobs has XXXX. He was TK. Jobs XXXX, TK said XXXXX." Software update 2.0.2 fixes that.

By: Meatbomb

Meatbomb — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:22:11 -0800

Is there anywhere I can read Abe's reaction to that website?

By: JDHarper

JDHarper — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:25:24 -0800

pedantic: I love that list of premature obits. My favorite so far:

Dick Cheney (US Vice-President) in the CNN.com incident. The draft obituary, which had been based on the Queen Mother's, described Cheney as 'Queen Consort' and the 'UK's favorite grandmother'.

By: cjorgensen

cjorgensen — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:26:00 -0800

mwhybark, beat me to it! And the whole, 's, s', s's thing, makes me feel like I'm on Usenet. This was one of the reasons I stopped going by Chris and started using Christopher. Was too tired of seeing the possessive done wrong. This said, the second, seventh, and ninth comments are grammar comments? This would have been a much cooler story if it hadn't been caught so quickly, or if outlets had run with it, but as it is, just slightly amusing. Of course Steve's going to have a hell of a time convincing them he's still alive down at the DMV.

By: Malor

Malor — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:33:05 -0800

I'm making a note here: huge success.

By: the_bone

the_bone — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:34:32 -0800

. FTFY

By: Dave Faris

Dave Faris — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:35:22 -0800

Argh. More vaporware.

By: chillmost

chillmost — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:41:08 -0800

Reality distorted!

By: pupdog

pupdog — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:43:27 -0800

Hm, someone lost their job over the CNN incident a few years ago, wonder whose head at Bloomberg was rolling this week...

By: incessant

incessant — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:43:29 -0800

Elements of Style > wikipedia. The possessive form of Jesus, I was taught, is the only name ending in 's' that doesn't employ the second 's', as in Jesus' iPhone. I do not have a source for that other than my strict grammerian English teacher. Would Jesus have an iPhone? Considering it's already called the JesusPhone, certainly he'd receive one gratis, probably in a goodie bag he'd get at some event, along with a Swarovski necklace, a free spa day at Burke Williams, and an entry in the upcoming World Poker Tour's Celebrity Invitational.

By: Brandon Blatcher

Brandon Blatcher — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:44:28 -0800

I'm still Brandon, according to Facebook.

By: quin

quin — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:49:21 -0800

Damn it Malor, I had just gotten that damn song out of my head.

By: JaredSeth

JaredSeth — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:54:29 -0800

Meatbomb, I can't tell you his reaction to that particular site, but he's shown a great sense of humor about his "death" since this all began in People magazine back in '82. I can confirm as he lives in my neighborhood and I see him out and about from time to time.

By: bonaldi

bonaldi — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:08:30 -0800

The possessive form of Jesus, I was taught, is the only name ending in 's' that doesn't employ the second 's', as in Jesus' iPhone. I do not have a source for that other than my strict grammerian English teacher. Yet Jesus's is one of the few that makes a degree of sense, since you say Jesuses, and the apostrophe actually works as intended there. Apple without Jobs is going to be fuuuucked.

By: Halloween Jack

Halloween Jack — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:09:40 -0800

It was close, but luckily for Jobs, the supply of fresh virgins'* blood arrived in the nick of time. *donated by D&D players** in exchange for liters of Mountain Dew. **As an RPG player myself, I can say that.

By: MiguelCardoso

MiguelCardoso — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:10:23 -0800

That's funny - I too am still alive.

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:13:09 -0800

Fuck this mac only bullshit.

By: Dave Faris

Dave Faris — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:14:52 -0800

Wow. Rob Schneider just can't catch a break, can he?

By: designbot

designbot — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:16:48 -0800

 _______ 
| ----- |
|| X X ||
|| .-. ||
| ----- |
|    -- |
 -------

By: humannaire

humannaire — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:22:32 -0800

⌘

By: mwhybark

mwhybark — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:24:04 -0800

*blinks* *notices faint tang of fine cigar smoke and brandy* MIGS! *Gapes, points at author-shaped hole in the air, jumps up and down a little bit*

By: honest knave

honest knave — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:24:19 -0800

Malor: Thank You.

By: Critical_Beatdown

Critical_Beatdown — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:35:51 -0800

The possessive form of Jesus, I was taught, is the only name ending in 's' that doesn't employ the second 's', as in Jesus' iPhone.

Your teacher was wrong. Any name from antiquity has that rule. Jesus, Moses, Ramses, etc, all take a plain *' and not *'s.

By: porn in the woods

porn in the woods — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:39:08 -0800

The CEO known as "Steve" has unexpectedly quit.

By: mwhybark

mwhybark — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:42:03 -0800

ACK, for two seconds I thought you were linking to a news story, pitw, without the link. Then I got it.

By: mkultra

mkultra — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:56:36 -0800

This would have been much better if they actually thought he was dead, went to bury him, and he popped up and said "one more thing..."

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:59:19 -0800

Should we all dress in black mock turtlenecks for the mock funeral?

By: cortex

cortex — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:59:58 -0800

The thing that a lot of people don't know about the title "Elements of Style" is that it's meant to be read in the same rhetorical context as e.g. "Ministry of Truth". Also: Migs!

By: Monday, stony Monday

Monday, stony Monday — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 12:00:40 -0800

What about the Jesus?

By: ghost of a past number

ghost of a past number — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 12:03:45 -0800

Your teacher was wrong. Any name from antiquity has that rule. Jesus, Moses, Ramses, etc, all take a plain *' and not *'s. So this is a rule for antique names? How old do you have to be to go whithout an s?

By: paisley henosis

paisley henosis — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 12:06:56 -0800

I think "Classical Antiquity" is the standard, but I could be mistaken.

By: paisley henosis

paisley henosis — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 12:08:58 -0800

Oh, and my favorite thing from pedantic's List of Premature Obits on wiki is: Oran, a sixth-century monk on Iona: having presumably been declared dead, he was buried, but was dug up again the following day and found to be alive. He is said to have subsequently been re-buried for heresy when he claimed that after his first burial he had seen heaven and hell.

By: Pronoiac

Pronoiac — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 12:10:23 -0800

Dan Lyons, former Fake Steve Jobs, on the premature obituary.

By: paisley henosis

paisley henosis — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 12:14:03 -0800

The Gawker link with the actual text of Steve's obit should really be in here.

By: mwhybark

mwhybark — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 12:24:07 -0800

Where was the outrage when Fake Steve Jobs 'died,' I ask you? I miss FSJ. Namaste, you fuckers. Leave Steve Jobs alone! (lazyweb, can you get the YT link to that 'leave SJ alone' vid up here? I'm posting from ye phone.)

By: wendell

wendell — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 12:24:32 -0800

I thought Fake Steve Jobs was dead.

By: wendell

wendell — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 12:25:20 -0800

why, mwhybark, why?

By: Camofrog

Camofrog — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 12:29:20 -0800

Its Jobs's. The Elements of Style, chapter 2: "Form the possessive singular of nouns with 's. Follow this rule whatever the final consonant." Where I work it's always "'s" unless the final "s" is silent, so "Jobs's" but "Camus'" ... also, "it's." ;-)

By: mwhybark

mwhybark — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 12:30:48 -0800

no preview on the phone, wendell ol' pal. My apologies! One might say it wend... oh, never mind.

By: miss lynnster

miss lynnster — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 12:34:44 -0800

That Wikipedia list of premature obituaries is very entertaining. Man, just a goldmine! Dick Cheney (US Vice-President) in the CNN.com incident. The draft obituary, which had been based on the Queen Mother's, described Cheney as 'Queen Consort' and the 'UK's favorite grandmother'.

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 12:54:28 -0800

Put a cork in it, Miguel.

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 12:57:07 -0800

Ah, who am I kidding? I love you Miguel, you old cork soaker.

By: bonaldi

bonaldi — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 13:25:25 -0800

Migs! <3

By: mwhybark

mwhybark — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 14:29:37 -0800

Hm. Is it Migs' cork-lined smoking room or Migs's cork-lined smoking-room ?

By: cortex

cortex — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 14:35:25 -0800

Stay classical.

By: bonaldi

bonaldi — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 14:37:29 -0800

Migs's

By: humannaire

humannaire — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 14:53:12 -0800

The Migs-Signal

By: Fuzzy Monster

Fuzzy Monster — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 15:02:53 -0800

Calling Cheney "the UK's favorite grandmother" makes just as much sense as calling him a "devoted public servant," and you know someone will use that line when ol' Dick finally does kick the bucket.

By: wendell

wendell — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 15:21:06 -0800

Is that going to be Miguel's Annual August MetaFilter Comment? I appreciate his involvement with protecting cork trees (which I am sure have been veddy veddy good to him), but the Rob Schneider involvement is kinda scary. The Migster! El Migadero! The Migmeister! Migerosity!

By: ThusSpakeZarathustra

ThusSpakeZarathustra — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 16:06:36 -0800

I realize news agencies maintain this information regularly so the obit is on the news stands before even god knows what's happened, but It's pretty funny all the same. This premature obituary phenomenon isn't all that uncommon, thanks mostly to Web technology. Most memorable to me is when it happened in 2001 when CNN had a Documentum hiccup and Pope John Paul's obit was accidentally published (quite prematurely and for a relatively large amount of time) on the CNN homepage. Fidel Castro, Dick Cheney , Ronald Regan, Bob Hope, Nelson Mandela, and Gerald Ford suffered similar non-fates during their longer than reported lives.

By: adamrice

adamrice — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 16:22:55 -0800

From the fauxbituary: "Steve Jobs, who helped make personal computers as easy to use as telephones"... Of course, now he's made telephones as easy to use as personal computers.* * I can say that because I'm an abject Apple fanboy

By: wendell

wendell — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 16:30:30 -0800

Of course, now he's made telephones as ~~easy~~ difficult to use as personal computers. Yes, I did a "fixed that for you". So kill me. Or just declare me dead.

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 17:42:19 -0800

So is this a grocer's obituary?

By: dhartung

dhartung — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 17:45:30 -0800

Uh, just keep in mind that as awesome as it is, Strunk & White is just a stylebook. Both authors were explicitly trying to simplify English grammar. As there is no Académie Anglaise, the rules found in stylebooks and grammar texts will vary.

By: iamkimiam

iamkimiam — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 17:50:42 -0800

Steve Jobs[possessive marker here] cat makes more sense to me than Steve Jobs [possessive marker here] demise, regardless of what your style guide says about forming the possessive. I mean, we all own our own demises, even when the papers lie about it, or don't even mention it at all. But still...

By: bonaldi

bonaldi — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 18:12:19 -0800

than Steve Jobs [possessive marker here] demise, regardless of what your style guide says about forming the possessive. well a steve jobs demise would be quite something: huge line starts the night before to get into the funeral, one-word slides during the reading, black turtlenecks for the choir, drilled aluminium coffin and a pithily terse epitaph on the gravestone. /possessive over my possessives

By: jeblis

jeblis — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 18:43:32 -0800

Given that this has happened a bunch of time before (with other people). How is this noteworthy?

By: !Jim

!Jim — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 20:03:12 -0800

Because it happened again.

By: cogneuro

cogneuro — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 20:49:55 -0800

Strunk and White sucks. Suck's. Sucks'.

By: sambosambo

sambosambo — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 00:54:28 -0800

Its Jobs's. The Elements of Style, chapter 2: "Form the possessive singular of nouns with 's. Follow this rule whatever the final consonant." This is exactly why the passive voice is stuck to by myself.

By: Smart Dalek

Smart Dalek — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 05:27:43 -0800

Buffalo buffalo Buff'alo b'uffalo buffa'lo buffal'o Buffalo' buffalo.

By: jfuller

jfuller — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 08:11:07 -0800

from cogneuro's first link: > One of the things that worries me about the number of Americans who seem > to treasure this little piece of trash, now in its fourth edition since > it was revived in the 1950s after E. B. White undertook a light revision > of an earlier version by Strunk and added a chapter on style, is that they > just don't realize how absurdly old it is — that it is pretty much not > even a work of the last century, but rather reflects ideas formed in the > one before that. Actually it's not old enough. I'll stick with Fowler--I see my copy is dated 1927--and Sam'l Johnson. But for the competing attitude, I met a traveler from an already-antique land: WTF!!!? roflanguagelog 5tu(k n 1985!!! LURK MOAR n m4yB U2 cn lrn 2 r!7e up 2 d4t3! LOLPWNRZD!

By: Arturus

Arturus — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 16:12:12 -0800

God, I hate Strunk and White.