SideTaker: Need moar drama??

September 7, 2008 7:06 AM

Are you simply not getting enough drama in your life? Do you often get the urge to listen to other peoples relationship problems? Do you like to judge random people and find Relationshipfilter to be insufficient? Well, now there's SideTaker ("Let The World Decide Who's At Fault"), a site where couples give their sides of an issue and let others decide who's right or wrong. Via.
posted by Foci for Analysis (41 comments total)

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
posted by flabdablet at 7:30 AM on September 7, 2008 [1 favorite]

Why do I enjoy this website as much as I do?

Am I becoming one of THEM?
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 7:30 AM on September 7, 2008

Excellent.

Signed,
Gladys Kravitz
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 7:31 AM on September 7, 2008 [3 favorites]

"Do you often get the urge to listen to other peoples relationship problems?"

Isn't this what Ask MeFi is for?
posted by HuronBob at 7:32 AM on September 7, 2008

Dr. Philter
posted by hal9k at 7:37 AM on September 7, 2008 [12 favorites]

Sweet. This is gonna save me $70 a week.
posted by gman at 7:44 AM on September 7, 2008

This will wendell repeatedly.

HOW IS RELAESHUNSHIP UNFORMED
posted by infinitewindow at 7:52 AM on September 7, 2008 [2 favorites]

Always side with the man, if you are a man. You must support your own kind and in turn he will support you.
posted by Postroad at 7:52 AM on September 7, 2008

Needs a "Good Lord This Is Doomed Just Fucking Break Up Now" button.
posted by shadow vector at 8:02 AM on September 7, 2008 [2 favorites]

Always side with the man, if you are a man. You must support your own kind and in turn he will support you.

Does your head asplode like an android when there are two men in a relationship fighting? Or none?
posted by piratebowling at 8:03 AM on September 7, 2008

I thought the answer was always DTMFA. No?
posted by droplet at 8:23 AM on September 7, 2008

My response to this site is from Ogden Nash:

To keep your love life brimming
With love in the loving cup
Whenever you're wrong, admit it
Whenever you're right, shut up.
posted by subbes at 8:25 AM on September 7, 2008 [22 favorites]

I had a look at a few of the more recent arguments. My conclusion: both sides deserve each other.

The problem with this site is that most relationship arguments are petty and boring, unless you know the people involved. Its like a soap opera without the character development, plot or attractive people.

(Oh, and what shadow vector said)
posted by iso_bars at 8:32 AM on September 7, 2008

two men? one is the "man" and the other, passive, the "fem." again, side with the man.
posted by Postroad at 8:41 AM on September 7, 2008

Dear Sidetaker

I'm beginning to have second thoughts about my marriage. You see, we didn't really date. I actually auditioned for the engagement. I knew ahead of time that my husband was a Scientologist, but he's also in the same business I am, so I thought we'd have things in common. But lately he's just been getting kinda creepy, and a lot of my friends and family want me to break it off. What should I do?

x0x0x

DawsonCreekGirl
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 8:42 AM on September 7, 2008 [1 favorite]

I really thought this had something to do with the N-Gage. Boy was I disappointed.
posted by demiurge at 9:01 AM on September 7, 2008

I keep reading "Sidetaker" as "Eidetaker". It's throwing me off.
posted by inigo2 at 9:02 AM on September 7, 2008

Money is so overwhelmingly the most popular tag that I don't feel like I have to look at the rest of the site.
posted by ardgedee at 9:24 AM on September 7, 2008

You must support your own kind and in turn he will support you.

Would that make me the "fem"?
posted by robself at 9:44 AM on September 7, 2008

two men? one is the "man" and the other, passive, the "fem." again, side with the man.

just...wow.
posted by Stewriffic at 9:48 AM on September 7, 2008

I realize mefi isn't geekizoid. But please let's have a competition make up the most fucked up conflict there?
posted by jeffburdges at 9:56 AM on September 7, 2008 [1 favorite]

two men? one is the "man" and the other, passive, the "fem." again, side with the man.

Do you even know any gay people? Sheesh!
posted by The Light Fantastic at 10:02 AM on September 7, 2008

I was wondering how this site works from a technical standpoint. That is, if I post as "furlover" that my boyfriend won't stop shaving my cats although it upsets me, how does my cat-shaving boyfriend graft his side of the story onto mine? Do we have a shared login? It seems unlikely that we can cooperate that well if we can't agree on the fur issue. Answer:

Once you're satisfied with your side, you save it and a unique invitation link is generated which you email to your significant other. The link allows them access to enter their side of the argument.

If you are dating someone who thinks this is an adequate substitute for what Earthlings call "talking," I think we already know where you guys are going. (Splitzville.)

On the other hand, I love that there is a "sex with waiter" tag that's been used several times. Guys, apparently waiting tables for a living will make you a babe magnet, at least for babes in troubled relationships, so put down that keyboard and pick up a tray! There is no equivalent tag for waitresses, interestingly.
posted by cirocco at 10:11 AM on September 7, 2008

Not to be confused with the "wait for sex" tag.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 10:30 AM on September 7, 2008

Who's going to do the joke John Calvin vs Thomas Hobbes post?
posted by kaibutsu at 10:37 AM on September 7, 2008 [3 favorites]

I was disappointed, because these sides are nowhere near the stuff we get in AskMe: three-volume sagas with supporting characters, full of tragic, delusional self-absorption combined with complete cluelessness. This is indeed the Yahoo Answers of RelationshipFilter.
posted by nasreddin at 10:42 AM on September 7, 2008 [1 favorite]

two men? one is the "man" and the other, passive, the "fem." again, side with the man.

That is unbelievably offensive, even for you. Flagged for prejudice with extreme fucking prejudice.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 10:59 AM on September 7, 2008 [1 favorite]

Oh, this is fun.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:08 AM on September 7, 2008 [1 favorite]

these sides are nowhere near the stuff we get in AskMe: three-volume sagas with supporting characters, full of tragic, delusional self-absorption combined with complete cluelessness.

... and 80% of the MeFi answers coming from bitter women:

Q: "My boyfriend is going away for a weekend with the guys. Should I be worried?"

A: "If you are worried, then he is probably cheating on you. Break up with him now before he goes. Throw a drink in his face, too."
posted by Zambrano at 11:51 AM on September 7, 2008

This thread is going to a dark, bad place, and I'm not sure I want to see it.

I'm not sure I can look away, though.
posted by Caduceus at 12:04 PM on September 7, 2008

... and 80% of the MeFi answers coming from bitter women

Again. Wow.

What's in the water today, y'all?
posted by Stewriffic at 12:10 PM on September 7, 2008

This thread is going to a dark, bad place, and I'm not sure I want to see it.

That's pretty much on the nose. There's nothing inherently wrong with this post per se, and folks have every right to their personal perspectives, but this thing is going to go downhill fast if folks can't make an effort to be at least a little politic in how they express themselves.

Less sweeping armchair generalization about the shortcomings of women and the emotional dynamics of gay couples would be a hell of a start, as far as that goes. I don't want to have to nix anything in here, but if this turns into nothing but ugly derail that's pretty much where we're gonna end up.

If you've got a pressing need to pursue a hardline argument on this, you know where metatalk is.
posted by cortex at 12:27 PM on September 7, 2008

I think I've managed to read all the stories they have. Need more, need more, need more!

Also, I think they should add a section where you can read all stories in chronological order. Maybe not right now, since they only have about 20 stories, but once the archives are built up.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:03 PM on September 7, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'm with nasreddin. "This is indeed the Yahoo Answers of RelationshipFilter."
posted by salvia at 1:08 PM on September 7, 2008

1 girl 1 guy 1 cup
straws for everyone
posted by Auden at 1:13 PM on September 7, 2008

/me jumps in the mine cart, heading into the deep shaft of flamewar
posted by tehloki at 3:31 PM on September 7, 2008 [1 favorite]

What's in the water today, y'all?

Angostura Bitters? That stuff does tend to make things bitter.

I've always figured that the surfeit of "dump him" comments in relationship threads--and I guess on "SideTaker" these days--are inspired because:

a) we're only getting the plaintiff's side, so to speak, and people tend to slant their own stories in conscious and subconscious ways;

b) by the time one is so frustrated with one's lover that one is asking total strangers for advice on how to make it work, one is generally reaching the point where one can't turn that ship around. Either the couple has discussed it exhaustively and come to a permanent impasse on the issue, or the asker is not communicating with the partner in the first place, leapfrogging over him and taking the argument directly to the streets. That hopelessness comes out in the question.
posted by cirocco at 3:44 PM on September 7, 2008

let's have a competition to make up the most fucked up conflict there

No need to go to such lengths. Just copy & paste fr0zen & xteraco.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:44 PM on September 7, 2008

let's have a competition to make up the most fucked up conflict there
That's definitely going to be my new hobby.
posted by martinX's bellbottoms at 6:37 AM on September 8, 2008

I have already declared to my SO that our next argument goes up on SideTaker. No we just have to find something to fight about. If we can't think of something soon, I'm going to make something up to start a fight over, so we'll have something to put up on SideTaker. This site is leading me to a dark, bad place.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:28 AM on September 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

Why not have an argument over whether to post to SideTaker or not?
posted by bonehead at 12:35 PM on September 8, 2008