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A day in the park
September 10, 2008 4:26 AM   Subscribe

Is it a slide or a large uncircumsised appendage? Advances in playground technology - what will they think of next? (via BuzzFeed)
posted by caddis (81 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite

 
If you think that's odd, you should've seen the reverse angle featuring the trampoline with a clitoris.

Also, doesn't it put things into perspective to reflect on the fact that, if that slide had been wearing a condom, all of those children would've ended up in the wastebasket?
posted by CheeseburgerBrown at 4:29 AM on September 10, 2008 [6 favorites]


*arches eyebrow*
posted by liquorice at 4:30 AM on September 10, 2008


It's a slide with an arrestor at the end to keep junior from hurting himself. Very sensible. Where do you get that it looks like a penis?
posted by three blind mice at 4:36 AM on September 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


I refuse to dignify this by making any comment about it.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:38 AM on September 10, 2008


(gasp) Homunculus Confirmed!
posted by subgear at 4:45 AM on September 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


It's German?
posted by mattoxic at 4:46 AM on September 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Its almost as horrifying as this
posted by dng at 4:52 AM on September 10, 2008 [14 favorites]


People need to learn that there are free tools that can trim the first and the last few seconds of a video.
posted by Memo at 4:52 AM on September 10, 2008 [3 favorites]


Where do you get that it looks like a penis?

You must have seen the video. Therefore I can only assume some medical anomaly on your end, so to speak.
posted by DU at 5:02 AM on September 10, 2008 [5 favorites]


Also there are free tools that can NOT add stupid, loud or lame musical tracks to videos.
posted by DU at 5:03 AM on September 10, 2008


I have this urge to write a lyric about children in my urethra now, but it's not quite coming together.
posted by TomMelee at 5:06 AM on September 10, 2008 [3 favorites]


It really only looks like a penis if you happen to have seen one before.
posted by Sys Rq at 5:14 AM on September 10, 2008 [11 favorites]


(Here's the source of the soundtrack.)
posted by Sys Rq at 5:17 AM on September 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Where do you get that it looks like a penis?

Because it looks like a big huge child-spurting penis.
posted by chillmost at 5:25 AM on September 10, 2008 [19 favorites]


Good grief. No one along the process of the design, manufacture, purchase and installation of this slide said, "Uh, maybe we shouldn't use a slide that looks like this?" Was it made by nuns who were cloistered from birth or something?
posted by orange swan at 5:28 AM on September 10, 2008


It really only looks like a penis if you happen to have seen one before.
I think I've seen mine before and mine seems to lack the purple band and blue dots. Do I have a problem?
posted by Xurando at 5:34 AM on September 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


The real kicker will be that it's a Dutch fertility festival or some shit and it really is a giant kid-ejaculating penis.
posted by fullerine at 5:40 AM on September 10, 2008 [6 favorites]


HOW IS BABBY FORMED?
posted by anthill at 5:42 AM on September 10, 2008 [11 favorites]


dng, that picture is hilarious. Made me laugh out loud. Thanks for the that.
posted by a3matrix at 5:44 AM on September 10, 2008


WARNING: Slide may shrink in colder weather.
posted by ColdChef at 5:47 AM on September 10, 2008 [7 favorites]


I dunno, the soundtrack adds a certain ... class. That the slide alone lacks.

I nearly had an aneurysm laughing, anyhow.
posted by 5MeoCMP at 5:49 AM on September 10, 2008


Pro tip for aspiring youtubographers: when walking, you don't need to point the camera directly at your feet. Unless you're trying to make a Blair Witch re-make, in which case, go ahead
posted by 0xFCAF at 5:50 AM on September 10, 2008


This will bellend.
posted by Elmore at 5:51 AM on September 10, 2008 [3 favorites]


I think I've seen mine before and mine seems to lack the purple band and blue dots. Do I have a problem?

Presumably the designers were just going for that herpetic/phimotic look that's so popular these days.
posted by Sys Rq at 6:00 AM on September 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Also there are free tools that can NOT add stupid, loud or lame musical tracks to videos.

I'm with DU. Terrible. What was that, a kazoo? Horrifying and funny but more horrifying than funny. Man that would hurt.
posted by IvoShandor at 6:01 AM on September 10, 2008


SLYT to a crappy cell phone video... not the best of MeFi.
posted by crapmatic at 6:03 AM on September 10, 2008 [3 favorites]


It's what Freddy would have wanted
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 6:12 AM on September 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Is it a slide or a large uncircumcised appendage?

Yes, and yes.
posted by not_on_display at 6:28 AM on September 10, 2008


Crapmatic - you are so fucking wrong
posted by strawberryviagra at 6:29 AM on September 10, 2008


Great. After seeing that link, the Google "doodle" logo for today (celebrating the LHC), now looks like two dueling mechanical penises.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 6:35 AM on September 10, 2008


That's hot.
posted by strawberryviagra at 6:53 AM on September 10, 2008


Been watching too much Phoenix Nights?

"It's not how it looks? It's a twenty-foot cock and balls man!"
posted by The Ultimate Olympian at 6:54 AM on September 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


The personal rancor reflected in this FPP I don't intend to dignify with comment, but I would like to address your general attitude of hopeless negativism. Consider the lilies of the goddamn field, or - hell! - take a look at wendell here as your paradigm of hope.
posted by chuckdarwin at 7:04 AM on September 10, 2008


looks like two dueling mechanical penises.

Shades of Tetsuo?
posted by owtytrof at 7:21 AM on September 10, 2008


This must be from the next McCain/Palin attack ad accusing Obama of pushing sex education for kindergateners. **cue scary music** "Do you rally want a giant penis in every playground?"
posted by longsleeves at 7:25 AM on September 10, 2008


I'd hit it.
posted by notashroom at 7:41 AM on September 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me!
posted by Nelson at 7:59 AM on September 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


Needs more Norwegian.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 7:59 AM on September 10, 2008


It seems to be more a statement on the horror that is an uncircumcised penis.
posted by plexi at 7:59 AM on September 10, 2008


The guy who bought that off the manufacturer got shafted.
posted by Elmore at 8:14 AM on September 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


Is it a slide or a large uncircumsised appendage?

I don't understand why it's inappropriate. Because it is uncircumcised?
And as for large, I can only speak for myself, but I think it looks pretty normal-sized.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:19 AM on September 10, 2008 [6 favorites]


I will never look at my own sperm the same way again.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:23 AM on September 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


I will never look at Astro Zombie's sperm the same way again.
posted by ColdChef at 8:25 AM on September 10, 2008 [3 favorites]


I was at an event where they had lots of inflatable jumpers and play areas, including this slide thingy. You go in one end and go through a kind of obstacle course inside then slide down the other end.

The kids seemed to love it.
posted by eye of newt at 8:26 AM on September 10, 2008


I will never look at ColdChef the same way again.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:28 AM on September 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Heh. You people are silly.
posted by Artw at 8:34 AM on September 10, 2008


I'm seriously considering never taking off my pants again.
posted by yhbc at 8:38 AM on September 10, 2008


Hey, that slide looks like a penis!
posted by everichon at 8:45 AM on September 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Children crawling out of a giant penis while Bohemian Rhapsody is zerberted in the background?

Oh yeah, I'm gonna have nightmares about this.
posted by quin at 8:49 AM on September 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


If sperm makes children, what do children make? Metapeople?
posted by Meatbomb at 9:03 AM on September 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


Demonstrating the birth process of the female spotted hyena.
posted by zippy at 9:09 AM on September 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


Sys Rq: I think I've seen mine before and mine seems to lack the purple band and blue dots. Do I have a problem?

Yes.

quin: while Bohemian Rhapsody is zerberted in the background?

One thousand points to you for using that word in a sentence.
posted by evilcolonel at 9:12 AM on September 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Ya know, I clicked on that link with the expectation that it would look vaguely phallic. You know, in the way that someone might point at a couple of mountans and say, "Heheh, Grand Tetons."

This, however, is something else. Like a caricature rendered by someone who has spent far too much time eye-to-glans with male genitalia.
posted by LMGM at 9:13 AM on September 10, 2008 [3 favorites]


Except that it's spelled "zrbt", as coined by Rudy Huxtable.
posted by evilcolonel at 9:13 AM on September 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


sorry; above, please scratch "far too much" and replace it with "an admirable amount," please.
posted by LMGM at 9:14 AM on September 10, 2008


The penis is evil. It should be a slide shaped like a gun instead.
posted by djeo at 9:45 AM on September 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me!
posted by Nelson


HehHaw

Except that it's spelled "zrbt"...

Citation needed.
posted by DU at 9:56 AM on September 10, 2008


From the minds that brought you H.R. Puff 'n Stuff.
posted by nola at 10:23 AM on September 10, 2008


You've gotta have balls to ride that slide.
posted by binturong at 10:24 AM on September 10, 2008


They have one of these at kids day at Belmont park, but it's even more ambiguous. It's clearly an... orifice of some kind, still has the distinct look of a genital, a penis/vagina type of thing, same horrible purples and yellows that emphasized the urethral opening, same terrible shimmying and shaking as it jizzed out kid after kid. I did a double spit take when I saw it and said "Man, David Cronenberg's really fallen on hard times if he's designing inflatable kiddy slides."

Then I went and lost twenty on the fucking exacta.

Oh well, long live the new flesh!
posted by Divine_Wino at 10:59 AM on September 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


It's Kabouter Buttplug all over again.
posted by phrontist at 11:25 AM on September 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Except that it's spelled "zrbt"...

Citation needed.


I think it might actually be zrbbt. I couldn't find a clip of the episode, but I think it happens when Rudy is learning how to spell and making up nonsense words with no vowels.

UD has zrbbt, but I don't know...
posted by mrgrimm at 11:31 AM on September 10, 2008


The children do not appear to mind. Is there really a problem?
posted by Fruny at 11:36 AM on September 10, 2008


Appropriate animal act.
posted by rokusan at 11:36 AM on September 10, 2008


The gun is good.
posted by stinkycheese at 11:37 AM on September 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


That Phoenix Nights link intrigued me, cos it's a UK sitcom and the author of the video also appears to be from the UK. So I can only imagine that the slide is from the UK too.

Let's just hope it's installed in this park in Telford for a full Daily Mail overreaction.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 11:57 AM on September 10, 2008


while bohemian rhapsody is pretyt great, I think it would have been even better with his version of The Cantina Song in the background.
posted by Arturus at 12:20 PM on September 10, 2008


I don't know what you people are so rattled about. When I asked my mother where I came from, she patiently explained that I crawled fully-formed from a large red-and-blue penis and went running into her arms, just like all children do.

And that's why I'm glad I was home-schooled.
posted by bicyclefish at 12:33 PM on September 10, 2008


The children do not appear to mind. Is there really a problem?

I tried that in court, and let me tell you, don't demand a jury trial if you hope to use the same defense.

I'm saddened to learn my penis is horrifying--then again, maybe the explains the blindfold Mrs. Maxwelton wears.
posted by maxwelton at 12:40 PM on September 10, 2008


Zerbert
posted by vapidave at 1:06 PM on September 10, 2008


Let's just hope it's installed in this park in Telford for a full Daily Mail overreaction.

Damned Tories.
posted by SteveInMaine at 1:07 PM on September 10, 2008


I can't find anything definitive online, but my memory suggests it was either zrbbt or zrbtt.
posted by evilcolonel at 3:50 PM on September 10, 2008


zrbt:zerbert as sherbet:sherbert
posted by ericbop at 3:59 PM on September 10, 2008


Do you rally want a giant penis in every playground?

Your typo caused me to hear this sentence in my head as being read by Katherine Hepburn. Raaaaaally it did.
posted by davejay at 4:17 PM on September 10, 2008


i fancy that purple thing around the tip to be a cock-ring of some sort ... or maybe the polka dots are a chinese torture sort of cock ring thing and the purple is just a little bit of throbbing painful pleasure.

just pondering ...
posted by liza at 4:24 PM on September 10, 2008


I'm in the process of creating an entire park of phalic slides, shoots, and haunted ovaries. Who's with me?
posted by SJLaw at 6:07 PM on September 10, 2008


You might call it the Large Hadron Slider...
posted by subgear at 6:15 PM on September 10, 2008


Let us not forget the Pikachu vagina (from the Buzzfeed link)
posted by caddis at 7:45 PM on September 10, 2008


evilcolonel: I resent the brazen mischaracterization of my genitals as neither spotted nor ringed. I was merely quoting Xurando.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:00 AM on September 11, 2008


evilcolonel: I resent the brazen mischaracterization of my genitals as neither spotted nor ringed. I was merely quoting Xurando.

I'm blaming it on the quote bookmarklet, and not on my ability to read. And on that note, I'm cehcking out of the thread.
posted by evilcolonel at 4:07 PM on September 11, 2008


"checking." Now I'm really done.
posted by evilcolonel at 4:07 PM on September 11, 2008


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