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Nine vignettes about the Alaskan Secession
September 16, 2008 1:00 PM   Subscribe

Nine Whispered Opinions Regarding the Alaskan Secession. [Via]
posted by homunculus (29 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

 
Very modest of Ms. Palin to use a nom de plume
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 1:06 PM on September 16, 2008


Is this something you'd have to have a snowmachine to understand?
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 1:07 PM on September 16, 2008


And I thought it was another Sarah Palin post..
posted by darkripper at 1:08 PM on September 16, 2008


The homunculus strikes again.
posted by Wyvern at 1:10 PM on September 16, 2008


Just think: if the Alaskan Secession movement had been successful, we wouldn't have to worry today about the Alaskan Succession.
posted by wendell at 1:13 PM on September 16, 2008 [11 favorites]


Sounds like a chapter in a John Hodgman book.
posted by smackfu at 1:18 PM on September 16, 2008 [2 favorites]


Do not try to put children onto moose.
posted by Artw at 1:19 PM on September 16, 2008


It's weird and kind of interesting, but I really don't know if I'd call it good or not. It kind of reminds me of one of the odder stories you'd find in a New Wave SF anthology and never really completely get the point of.
posted by Artw at 1:24 PM on September 16, 2008


It kind of reminds me of one of the odder stories you'd find in a New Wave SF anthology and never really completely get the point of.

Those are my favorite stories.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:28 PM on September 16, 2008 [1 favorite]


12.

That's the number of hours I predict will elapse after Alaska seceeds before Russia starts mailing out passports.
posted by mullingitover at 1:29 PM on September 16, 2008 [1 favorite]


From the bottom:

Author's note: This story was the result of a bet with Bruce Holland Rogers. It had to consist of nine vignettes, each of which had exact attributes, including a specific number of words and an sf idea of its own besides being integral to the story. The word counts I chose were 100 for vignettes one and nine, 200 for two and eight, 800 for three, four, six, and seven, and 1100 for five.

So, it's a stunt post story.
posted by D.C. at 1:53 PM on September 16, 2008 [1 favorite]


Aside form all the scary politics and rednecks associated with seccession... I used to live in Alaska, and it's so unspoiled and beautiful that i can see why isolating it and preventing the creeping death culture from the lower 48 would be a good thing.
I:m not saying it's practical , or based on good intentions.

They also have weed that makes the stuff in Amsterdam coffee shops look like a Washington Square Park rip-off.
posted by Liquidwolf at 1:57 PM on September 16, 2008


"This is an Imaginary a Stunt Story... Aren't they all?"
posted by Artw at 1:57 PM on September 16, 2008


The homunculus strikes again.

I am unstoppable.
posted by homunculus at 2:05 PM on September 16, 2008 [1 favorite]


I was gonna crack wise about The Alaskan Secession being the next Culture novel by Ian M. Banks, but it seems that witticism would have less impact now that I've actually read the linked piece. Now it's quite obviously going to be the first add-on module for The Force Unleashed.
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:43 PM on September 16, 2008


It kind of reminds me of one of the odder stories you'd find in a New Wave SF anthology and never really completely get the point of.

Those are my favorite stories.


Actually those ones frequently stick with me long after everything else in the book is forgotten.
posted by Artw at 2:55 PM on September 16, 2008


Liquidwolf ??? "death culture" from the lower 48? You are aware that the prime movers behind spoiling the unspoiled parts of Alaska are... wait for it.... Alaskans? I mean, all those people shooting wolves from helicopters? Alaskans. All those people working to keep polar bears off the endangered species list? Alaskans.

mullingitover You think it'd take that long?
posted by sotonohito at 3:00 PM on September 16, 2008



Liquidwolf ??? "death culture" from the lower 48? You are aware that the prime movers behind spoiling the unspoiled parts of Alaska are... wait for it.... Alaskans? I mean, all those people shooting wolves from helicopters? Alaskans. All those people working to keep polar bears off the endangered species list? Alaskans.


Yeah, yeah, I know. Those are the "rednecks" I was talking about. ( I'm sure I"ll get attacked by someone here for calling them that). Plenty of people in Alaska are for that stuff, and plenty are not. There's only about 600, 000 people , and its a good cross of ex patriots/hunters/bikers/hippies , most of whom want to preserve what ALaska. Some want to drill to create jobs , some don't.
By "death culture" i meant the suburban sprawl that permeates most of the continental US.
posted by Liquidwolf at 3:28 PM on September 16, 2008


Soon the terminator will reach Alaska. Then were will you hide?
posted by blue_beetle at 3:32 PM on September 16, 2008


ahem. oops
posted by blue_beetle at 3:32 PM on September 16, 2008


"If at first you don't secede, keep on suckin' til ya do suck seed!" (with apologies to Mr. Curly Howard)
posted by kirkaracha at 3:37 PM on September 16, 2008 [1 favorite]


Wow.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 3:41 PM on September 16, 2008


the colors of my soul

Oh dang. Painful flashback to college intro to poetry comp course.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 3:59 PM on September 16, 2008 [1 favorite]


So, is Beowulf a stunt story (what with that convoluted alliterative verse form)? Because that puts a whole lot of English literature on a shaky footing.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 4:34 PM on September 16, 2008


The Cantebury Tales is totally a stunt story. All the pilgrims get to tell a tale - WTF, is this an old Amicus horror film or something? It's totally going to turn out that they're all ghosts at the end.
posted by Artw at 4:43 PM on September 16, 2008 [1 favorite]


So, it's a stunt ... story

Man built most nobly when limitations were at their greatest. -- Frank Lloyd Wright

It may be artificial, but I don't think this is any more constraining than choosing a structure for a novel (which voice to use, which point of view, formal or informal language, etc.)
posted by dhartung at 5:51 PM on September 16, 2008


I think Alaska could join Canada without much hassle. We've already precedent for semi-autonomous North lands. Maybe they'd get health care, and we'd get rid of the long firearm regulations. They'll collect port fees, we'll collect rail fees. Stuff like that.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:40 PM on September 16, 2008


What would we give them in trade? Newfoundland might work, and there's lots of oil and gas there. Or Vancouver Island, because then they'd have a matched set of quake zones.
posted by sneebler at 8:44 PM on September 16, 2008


Give who in trade? Alaska cedes from the USA. We let 'em hook up with us if they want. If not, Alaska will be a swell little country in its own right. Works well for Norway. Nobody trades anything. It's more like cooperation.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:23 PM on September 16, 2008


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