Comments on: The origin of the anus

The origin of the anus

homunculus — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 14:46:22 -0800

Getting to the bottom of evolution: Genetic study investigates the origin of the anus.

By: psmealey

psmealey — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 14:49:03 -0800

Christ, what an asshole.

By: Marisa Stole the Precious Thing

Marisa Stole the Precious Thing — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 14:53:07 -0800

Well, it's about time.

By: StickyCarpet

StickyCarpet — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 14:56:15 -0800

Fundamental research.

By: zippy

zippy — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:00:12 -0800

From the second link, "the anus could migrate to the far end of animal." Didn't David Kronenberg do several films about this? Also, this theory would explain rush hour in New York.

By: turgid dahlia

turgid dahlia — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:01:17 -0800

By: turgid dahlia

turgid dahlia — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:02:29 -0800

Wait...anuses (ani?) migrate?

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:04:04 -0800

The data's clearly tainted.

By: The Light Fantastic

The Light Fantastic — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:05:04 -0800

Is there an explanation of the ability of some to speak from their anus?

By: Mcable

Mcable — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:05:51 -0800

I knew there was something interesting about this, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.

By: hal_c_on

hal_c_on — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:08:32 -0800

Worms and other lower on the evolutionary scale organisms mix food and wastes. Thats why they will never rule the earth. Bees on the other hand can totally take over.

By: SaintCynr

SaintCynr — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:13:16 -0800

>>Wait...anuses (ani?) migrate? A bunch of them just left Minneapolis-St. Paul.

By: Hairy Lobster

Hairy Lobster — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:15:48 -0800

I knew there was something interesting about this, but I just couldn't put my finger on in it. Fixed that for you.

By: sapere aude

sapere aude — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:16:34 -0800

It's really quite alimentary.

By: emelenjr

emelenjr — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:17:40 -0800

how is butthole formed?

By: Demogorgon

Demogorgon — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:19:54 -0800

Through study of the origin of species, we have discovered the origin of feces.

By: sapere aude

sapere aude — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:20:16 -0800

Gotta love Nature magazine. Three reader comments under the first link story, and not an iota of snark.

By: heeeraldo

heeeraldo — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:23:05 -0800

damnit, where's Faint of Butt when you need 'em?

By: dances_with_sneetches

dances_with_sneetches — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:23:47 -0800

The Origin of the Feces.

By: dances_with_sneetches

dances_with_sneetches — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:25:38 -0800

Greatest study in the anals of science.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:25:56 -0800

Is there an explanation of the ability of some to speak from their anus? Well, the anus first formed to separate the eating/waste functions. Now that it is there, the speaking function often divides itself equally between mouth and anus. In some inviduals, evolution has taken over and eating takes place with the mouth, and all waste, including verbal output, is expelled from the anus. Really, it's more efficient that way.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:26:35 -0800

damnit, where's Faint of Butt when you need 'em? Also, If I had An Anus. Whatever happened to him? He'd be glad to know that he could evolve one.

By: dirty lies

dirty lies — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:26:43 -0800

Lower on the evolutionary scale? If you think there is an evolutionary scale with higher and lower rungs, then you don't understand evolution. If you believe in that scale and still think evolution is true, you are doing it out of faith. Metafilterians rarely fail to disappoint in hard science posts, specially biology/evolution.

By: netbros

netbros — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:27:35 -0800

"The issue remains open." Detlev Arendt EMBL Obviously they don't pay Detlev enough.

By: Demogorgon

Demogorgon — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:28:13 -0800

butts lol

By: porn in the woods

porn in the woods — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:29:02 -0800

If Assholes Could Fly, This Place Would Be An Airport!

By: turgid dahlia

turgid dahlia — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:32:26 -0800

Once again, I am prostate before the altar of science.

By: maxwelton

maxwelton — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:32:41 -0800

Frankly, this research stinks.

By: illiad

illiad — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:37:07 -0800

Metafilter: the origin of the anus. _{_{What? It wrote itself.}}

By: stavrogin

stavrogin — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:39:11 -0800

This would be the perfect occasion to crack open my pun thesaurus, if only I had one.

By: turgid dahlia

turgid dahlia — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:42:00 -0800

I'd love to hear these researchers getting stressed out though: "I'm up to my neck in anus!" On the other hand, it would be pretty interesting working in an office where email forwards of goatse.cx are actually done for legitimate research purposes.

By: turgid dahlia

turgid dahlia — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:43:45 -0800

>>This would be the perfect occasion to crack open my pun thesaurus >>perfect occasion to crack >>crack Done and done!

By: homunculus

homunculus — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:48:48 -0800

Now that it is there, the speaking function often divides itself equally between mouth and anus. In some inviduals, evolution has taken over and eating takes place with the mouth, and all waste, including verbal output, is expelled from the anus. Sometimes the anus learns to eat too, and then it doesn't need the mouth anymore.

By: xbonesgt

xbonesgt — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:57:29 -0800

>Metafilterians rarely fail to disappoint in hard science posts, specially biology/evolution. >butts lol heh.

By: mosk

mosk — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 16:01:22 -0800

After reading the article, I have to say it would almost be worth the $5 just to create a gimmick account named "slit-like blastopore".

By: hal9k

hal9k — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 16:01:46 -0800

In some inviduals, evolution has taken over and eating takes place with the mouth, and all waste, including verbal output, is expelled from the anus. The end justifies the mean.

By: LondonYank

LondonYank — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 16:06:28 -0800

That article was full of shit.

By: kitchenrat

kitchenrat — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 16:29:06 -0800

i haven't read it. is it about bush?

By: jamstigator

jamstigator — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 16:32:49 -0800

Scientist: "I've got a new job in research!" Wife: "Is the pay good?" Scientist: "The pay is crap!" Wife: "What will you be studying?" Scientist: "Some stupid shit." Wife: "But, honey..." Scientist: "Okay, you guessed it! Butt honey! And anuses!"

By: Hairy Lobster

Hairy Lobster — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 16:33:09 -0800

No, if you want to read about bush you should visit the manscaping thread here

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 17:54:25 -0800

About time somebody cracked the code.

By: nightchrome

nightchrome — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 18:19:31 -0800

This is a study I can get behind.

By: zerobyproxy

zerobyproxy — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 18:25:05 -0800

A proctologist tries to write a prescription for a patient. Dr: Nurse! My pen won't write! Nurse (looking at the "pen": Dr, that is not a pen. Its a rectal thermometer. Dr (surprised): My god, you're right! What asshole took my pen?

By: binturong

binturong — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 20:08:50 -0800

This will end badly.

By: invitapriore

invitapriore — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 20:48:26 -0800

Lower on the evolutionary scale? If you think there is an evolutionary scale with higher and lower rungs, then you don't understand evolution. If you believe in that scale and still think evolution is true, you are doing it out of faith. Metafilterians rarely fail to disappoint in hard science posts, specially biology/evolution.

By: RobotVoodooPower

RobotVoodooPower — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 21:27:36 -0800

I tried reading the paper, but couldn't find the appendix.

By: empath

empath — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 21:44:42 -0800

This paper has really inspired me to get my hands dirty expanding this potentially wide open new field of study. -- Dr. Goetse, MD

By: strangeleftydoublethink

strangeleftydoublethink — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 22:06:09 -0800

Come on. God created the anus on the sixth day at 8:46 a.m., right after his second cup of coffee while reading the Times.

By: zippy

zippy — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 22:56:50 -0800

The anus, it migrates?

By: benzenedream

benzenedream — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 00:04:52 -0800

Did I ever tell you about the man who taught his asshole to talk? His whole abdomen would move up and down, you dig, farting out the words. It was unlike anything I ever heard. After a while the ass start talking on its own. He would go in without anything prepared and his ass would ad-lib and toss the gags back at him every time. Then it developed sort of teeth-like little raspy in-curving hooks and started eating. He thought this was cute at first and built an act around it, but the asshole would eat its way through his pants and start talking on the street, shouting out it wanted equal rights. It would get drunk, too, and have crying jags. Nobody loved it and it wanted to be kissed same as any other mouth. Finally it talked all the time day and night, you could hear him for blocks screaming at it to shut up, and beating it with his fist, and sticking candles up it, but nothing did any good and the asshole said to him: 'It's you who will shut up in the end not me. Because we don't need you around here any more. I can talk and eat and shit.' After that he began waking up in the morning with a transparent jelly like a tadpole's tail all over his mouth. This jelly was what the scientists call UDT — un-differentiated tissue, which can grow into any kind of flesh on the human body. He would tear it off his mouth and the pieces would stick to his hands like burning gasoline jelly and grow there, grow anywhere on him a glob of it fell. So finally his mouth sealed over, and the whole head would have amputated spontaneous — except for the eyes, you dig? That's one thing the asshole couldn't do was see. It needed the eyes. But nerve connections were blocked and infiltrated and atrophied so the brain couldn't give orders any more. It was trapped in the skull, sealed off. For a while you could see the silent, helpless suffering of the brain behind the eyes, then finally the brain must have died, because the eyes went out, and there was no more feeling in them than a crab's eyes on the end of a stalk. - Burroughs

By: chillmost

chillmost — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 00:29:56 -0800

Summary: A big mouth made an ass of itself. No, it has nothing to do with a cable news host.

By: shunshine

shunshine — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 01:57:05 -0800

...both are located to take advantage of our planet's gravitational force. Thus clearly we were designed for this planet and also may have evolved to an extent on this planet. Dr. Upinder Fotadar Comment #3 from the first link, read: Ass-assist as proof we are not aliens. I couldn't help but read this as subtle snark. And good thing we didn't evolve in that wacky Uranus gravity!

By: sneebler

sneebler — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 06:58:17 -0800

I think this is disingenuous. Do you not agree that some organisms are more complex than others, and humans specifically are more complex than worms, in terms of the number of processes required to maintain the organism in question? I think that's obviously the metric the rungs are based on in hal_c_on's comment. I don't think it's disingenuous. The metric is not complexity, it's fitness. Which is cool, because if you find an organism that demonstrates fitness for reasons you don't understand, you've got an opportunity to learn something.