Comments on: It's weird being a ball

It's weird being a ball

rtha — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 11:51:42 -0800

"MIDDLEBURY, Vt. -- Rainey Johnson, sporting a yellow shirt, yellow socks and yellow paint smeared on his face, darted across the freshman quad. Other students, in capes, ran after him clutching brooms between their legs and grasping in vain for a tennis ball stuffed in a sock hanging out of his yellow shorts."

Muggle quidditch is a full-contact sport. The Intercollegiate Quidditch Association now has more than 100 member schools, thanks to the evangelizing of its founding members, who hail from Middlebury College. Tackling is encouraged. Capes are good, but aren't mandatory. It sounds completely dorktacular, doesn't it?

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 11:54:54 -0800

Yes, dorktacular is the word for it. Cute story about people who have never been laid, thanks.

By: TheOnlyCoolTim

TheOnlyCoolTim — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 11:57:14 -0800

Yes, dorktacular is the word for it. The word you're thinking of is 'stoners'.

By: DU

DU — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 11:57:18 -0800

in before vibration

By: Ambrosia Voyeur

Ambrosia Voyeur — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 12:03:55 -0800

Due to the non-existence of magical devices, Muggle Quidditch is played on the ground HA! Due to the non-existence of magic?? Due to you being pathetic muggles, you mean. Accio a break. /me disapparates in disgust.

By: Marisa Stole the Precious Thing

Marisa Stole the Precious Thing — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 12:07:52 -0800

I, too, take umbrage with this dismissal of the existence of magic. Just because you mortals can't get your head around it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I suppose next you'll be contending that letters to Santa never actually make it to him. Philistines.

By: Smart Dalek

Smart Dalek — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 12:09:05 -0800

CEASE AND DESIST IT'S STEALING FROM THE MOUTH OF JK ROWLING

By: mannequito

mannequito — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 12:13:53 -0800

At Amherst College in Massachusetts, a dozen students recently tried competitive "boffing," This isn't news, that's the oldest sport there is, and it's always been played at college and university.

By: uncleozzy

uncleozzy — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 12:15:19 -0800

It's usually cooperative when I do it.

By: Marisa Stole the Precious Thing

Marisa Stole the Precious Thing — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 12:16:51 -0800

I have to admit, before I clicked into this thread, my first thought was, "Wow, kids are getting pretty creative with hazing these days."

By: whuuuu

whuuuu — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 12:18:02 -0800

I prefer Australian Indoor-Rules Quiddich.

By: Anders Levant

Anders Levant — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 12:26:31 -0800

I'm fine with this as long as they stay off my lawn

By: ghost of a past number

ghost of a past number — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 12:29:39 -0800

Boffing is what a boffin does, isn't it?

By: yhbc

yhbc — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 12:38:31 -0800

Okay, some of the pictures of semi-grown up people happily running around holding brooms between their legs made me smile.

By: Tehanu

Tehanu — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 12:38:57 -0800

Totally didn't understand on my first reading that the guy in yellow is the Snitch. Wow. Just wow.

By: not_on_display

not_on_display — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 12:40:12 -0800

"The snitch is a tennis ball stuffed inside a long sock, which is tied to a cross-country runner's shorts." [insert prison joke here]

By: Lacking Subtlety

Lacking Subtlety — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 12:55:33 -0800

Everyone knows Quidditch isn't fun if you're not flying.

By: katillathehun

katillathehun — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 13:05:43 -0800

Everyone knows Quidditch isn't fun if you're not flying. ...on what? Acid?

By: Lacking Subtlety

Lacking Subtlety — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 13:07:10 -0800

... I've said too much [runs out of the room]

By: caddis

caddis — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 13:07:17 -0800

Dodgeballs are used as bludgers in the Middlebury game. Volleyballs evoke a bigger sting.

By: Spatch

Spatch — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 13:14:36 -0800

Greta VanDeventer, an 18-year-old freshman, was temporarily sidelined after she took an elbow in the eye that left a small gash. If that name didn't exist, JK Rowling would have had to invent it. Also, the puffy sword kind of boffing has been happening in Amherst, usually on the Amherst Common (right across the street from the college!) for nearly 20 years now. This is the first I've heard of the Amherst College students giving it a try, granted; the big intramural non-sanctioned public sports spectacle for them was usually the annual snowball fight against UMass after the first big winter snowfall (using snowballs packed with rocks, etc.)

By: DU

DU — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 13:15:41 -0800

Everyone knows Quidditch isn't fun ~~if you're not flying.~~ FTFY. But seriously, Quidditch is designed very poorly. The last move of the game (usually) makes the preceding N hours completely superfluous. Why did I just sit and cheer every 10 point goal when the Snitch's 150 points changes, and then ends, the game? There isn't even any real suspense, since the game can't end until the Snitch is caught. Until one team gets 15 goals, they might as well not even announce the score, because it's irrelevant. The game is purpose-built as a (lame) plot device which is used repeatedly throughout the series. Team is losing, badly. Team acquires Snitch and wins! Much rejoicing and a gratuitous assigning of House Points to Gryffindor (no matter who won the match). Next chapter: Hermione berates Ron and/or Harry about the quality of their handwriting. (spoilers)

By: rusty

rusty — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 13:21:34 -0800

DU: Right on. Although Quidditch can be made quite good with one tiny rule change: catching the snitch scores no points -- it simply ends the game. See, that brings strategy into it. If you're losing, you can't catch the snitch. The losing seeker's job would be entirely to prevent the other seeker from catching it. It wouldn't be a bad game, actually. But as written: lame plot device.

By: ardgedee

ardgedee — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 13:28:37 -0800

Sure, it's fashionable now, but it'll never break the dominance of 43 Man Squamish among today's sports-mad collegiates.

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 13:31:43 -0800

JK Rowling also invented Cricket, right?

By: jessamyn

jessamyn — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 13:32:23 -0800

yay Vermont!

By: doift

doift — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 13:50:11 -0800

My first thought was, aren't college students a little old for this? Then I realized that these kids were 10 when the first Harry Potter book came out. Wow, does being unmoved by the magic mean I am old? Also, DU is right. Worst-designed game ever. Rusty's modification is pretty good, though.

By: clearly

clearly — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 13:58:11 -0800

Everyone knows Quidditch isn't fun if you're not flying. This is where the segways come in.

By: clearly

clearly — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 13:59:30 -0800

Nice use of the "virgins" tag.

By: rtha

rtha — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 14:01:13 -0800

The virgins tag was added by some witty mutual contact. It made me laugh, so I'm leaving it.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 14:06:40 -0800

Surely there's a way to play this wearing fox and unicorn fursuits and really bring down the wrath of heaven.

By: DevilsAdvocate

DevilsAdvocate — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 14:31:32 -0800

But seriously, Quidditch is designed very poorly. Deliberately so. I believe Rowling has said in interviews she created an absurd game on purpose as a satire of sports in general. Like a golden snitch, this flew over the heads of many.

By: DevilsAdvocate

DevilsAdvocate — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 14:57:39 -0800

Rainey Johnson, sporting a yellow shirt, yellow socks and yellow paint smeared on his face, Harry Potter was not the first work I thought of upon reading this description.

By: Marisa Stole the Precious Thing

Marisa Stole the Precious Thing — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 15:03:17 -0800

I believe Rowling has said in interviews she created an absurd game on purpose as a satire of sports in general. Like a golden snitch, this flew over the heads of many. And I believe Alanis Morissette said the song "Isn't It Ironic?" listed things that weren't actually ironic on purpose, as a satire of people who misuse irony. Still the same rain on the same wedding day.

By: Tehanu

Tehanu — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 15:25:22 -0800

It's like raaaaaain on the big match day It's the Bludger swing that Fred already made It's the easy saaaaave that Ron just didn't make And who would've thought, it figures?

By: Kattullus

Kattullus — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 15:29:46 -0800

Mister_A: Cute story about people who have never been laid, thanks. You misunderstand... this kind of stuff, quidditch games, science fiction conventions, dorm lounge Smash Bros. sessions (and this may keep you up at night) is how geeks get laid... and it works! I know way too many couples who started dating because of social situations like this.

By: Marisa Stole the Precious Thing

Marisa Stole the Precious Thing — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 15:34:30 -0800

this kind of stuff, quidditch games, science fiction conventions, dorm lounge Smash Bros. sessions (and this may keep you up at night) is how geeks get laid For me it was a protracted game of AD&D that went well into the night, and I failed a saving throw ... against being sexy.

By: CKmtl

CKmtl — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 17:15:42 -0800

Running full tilt at each other with brooms between your legs isn't Quidditch. It's crotch jousting.

By: DU

DU — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 17:33:12 -0800

The virgins tag was added by some...mutual contact. That's not usually how it's added.

By: adamg

adamg — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 20:10:17 -0800

Quidditch is for wankers. Real athletes play 43-Man Squamish.

By: drezdn

drezdn — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 22:25:00 -0800

Thanks for the memories, adamg!

By: Kronos_to_Earth

Kronos_to_Earth — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 23:06:00 -0800

I had totally forgotten about Squamish! Thank you ardgedee and adamg!

By: electroboy

electroboy — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 07:28:48 -0800

Lightning bolt!

By: clauclauclaudia

clauclauclaudia — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 16:28:20 -0800

Kattullus: this kind of stuff, quidditch games, science fiction conventions, dorm lounge Smash Bros. sessions (and this may keep you up at night) is how geeks get laid Marisa: For me it was a protracted game of AD&D that went well into the night, and I failed a saving throw ... against being sexy. *cue Vin Diesel... or not* Yeah, I've found science fiction convention nookie and Harry Potter nookie. (Both very satisfying, thank you.) But consider, is it any worse to come together over a shared sense of the absurd or a shared hobby than over a shared singles bar?