teh free markets, ur doin it wrong
September 22, 2008 4:46 PM Subscribe
LOLFed. Doan cry, emo banker! If you hate the latest financial crisis news, but love image macros, then this is the site for you. It's like I Can Has Cheezburger meets the Wall Street Journal.
All your bankz
Are belong to us
...it just had to be said...and it was teh funny
posted by Xoebe at 4:59 PM on September 22, 2008 [2 favorites]
Are belong to us
...it just had to be said...and it was teh funny
posted by Xoebe at 4:59 PM on September 22, 2008 [2 favorites]
A joke I made at dinner today has already been photoshopped and posted to the internet. Huh.
_:D/
posted by turgid dahlia at 5:02 PM on September 22, 2008
_:D/
posted by turgid dahlia at 5:02 PM on September 22, 2008
Also includes footage of two men consoling each other outside a failed brokerage.
posted by tkolar at 5:03 PM on September 22, 2008 [7 favorites]
posted by tkolar at 5:03 PM on September 22, 2008 [7 favorites]
More like FAILderal Reserve amirite?
posted by turgid dahlia at 5:05 PM on September 22, 2008
posted by turgid dahlia at 5:05 PM on September 22, 2008
I feel like 'Go Cry, Emo Banker" is cool enough to deserve it's own off broadway musical.
posted by Kikujiro's Summer at 5:07 PM on September 22, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by Kikujiro's Summer at 5:07 PM on September 22, 2008 [2 favorites]
Meh. I have a twisted sense of humor, but in now way can I find a bright spot in corporate socialism.
Fuck these guys. Fuck them for taking my money and giving it to failed Republican douchebag IB guys.
posted by bardic at 5:16 PM on September 22, 2008 [4 favorites]
Fuck these guys. Fuck them for taking my money and giving it to failed Republican douchebag IB guys.
posted by bardic at 5:16 PM on September 22, 2008 [4 favorites]
Finally! My girlfriend and I can communicate economic regulation!
posted by Lacking Subtlety at 5:16 PM on September 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by Lacking Subtlety at 5:16 PM on September 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
OK, the shot of Christiano Ronaldo ... I laughed.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:17 PM on September 22, 2008
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:17 PM on September 22, 2008
I learned about credit-deficit swaps. I was not expecting that.
Huh.
posted by jnaps at 5:24 PM on September 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
Huh.
posted by jnaps at 5:24 PM on September 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
LOLFed, iz funni, i swearz
tkolar, that video, ROFL, *wipes tear
posted by nickyskye at 5:28 PM on September 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
tkolar, that video, ROFL, *wipes tear
posted by nickyskye at 5:28 PM on September 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
I can has 700 billion moneys? Kthxbye.
posted by longsleeves at 5:46 PM on September 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by longsleeves at 5:46 PM on September 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
Needs over-the-top, fawning neologisms in the text, like cute overload.
Aww, what cute 'tocks and armani, I just want to snorgle that bankerpuff.
posted by sebastienbailard at 5:50 PM on September 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
Aww, what cute 'tocks and armani, I just want to snorgle that bankerpuff.
posted by sebastienbailard at 5:50 PM on September 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
OK, the shot of Christiano Ronaldo ... I laughed.
In the interests of correct LOLGRAMMER you should say "I lol'd"
Just sayin is all.
posted by Talez at 5:56 PM on September 22, 2008
In the interests of correct LOLGRAMMER you should say "I lol'd"
Just sayin is all.
posted by Talez at 5:56 PM on September 22, 2008
Where's the LOLforclosure site?
posted by jimmythefish at 6:03 PM on September 22, 2008
posted by jimmythefish at 6:03 PM on September 22, 2008
If you hate the latest financial crisis news, but love image macros, then you should kill yourself
posted by Electrius at 6:52 PM on September 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by Electrius at 6:52 PM on September 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
This really should have just said "Fail."
posted by Kadin2048 at 6:55 PM on September 22, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by Kadin2048 at 6:55 PM on September 22, 2008 [2 favorites]
This may be tired and all, but by god and his swinging goat balls, the only rational responses after a certain point have to be either pointing and laughing or breaking out the automatic weapons. I approve of the pointing and laughing.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:17 PM on September 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:17 PM on September 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
We'll be LOLling all the way to the poor house.
posted by Dave Faris at 7:25 PM on September 22, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by Dave Faris at 7:25 PM on September 22, 2008 [2 favorites]
This is awesome, thanks!
posted by FuturisticDragon at 7:31 PM on September 22, 2008
posted by FuturisticDragon at 7:31 PM on September 22, 2008
I used a WaMu ATM today and it asked to borrow $20 till Friday.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 7:46 PM on September 22, 2008 [18 favorites]
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 7:46 PM on September 22, 2008 [18 favorites]
the eternal monument to the American people's grace under pressure is the fact that instead of marching on Wall Street with pitchforks to figure out empirically if the throats of those bankers are harder or softer than broken beer bottles, Americans are actually creating websites with Photoshop jokes about the whole mess.
seriously, I'm in awe.
posted by matteo at 7:47 PM on September 22, 2008 [12 favorites]
seriously, I'm in awe.
posted by matteo at 7:47 PM on September 22, 2008 [12 favorites]
Ah, I see that one guy that thinks lolcatspeak is racist has showed up. I love that guy, he's wacky.
posted by puke & cry at 7:53 PM on September 22, 2008 [5 favorites]
posted by puke & cry at 7:53 PM on September 22, 2008 [5 favorites]
Your deposit is insured by the ROFDIC.
WTFed?!?
WaMu always sounded like a dumb Internet meme even before there were dumb internet memes. But MeFiWaMu? Doesn't sound like a good investment.
But you know what's funny? This bailout will cost each American at lot OVER 9000 dollars. Ha ha.
I also approve of the pointing and laughing, but only because my neighbor with the automatic weapons can't hit the broadside of a bank. Grace under pressure? No, we of the Greatest Country in the World have all been taught well not to question the authority that comes with massive amounts of money. But when the word gets out that some of these Financial Bigwigs are Black and may have benefited from Affirmative Action at some point in their rise to the top, look out, here come the pitchforks!
posted by wendell at 8:04 PM on September 22, 2008
WTFed?!?
WaMu always sounded like a dumb Internet meme even before there were dumb internet memes. But MeFiWaMu? Doesn't sound like a good investment.
But you know what's funny? This bailout will cost each American at lot OVER 9000 dollars. Ha ha.
I also approve of the pointing and laughing, but only because my neighbor with the automatic weapons can't hit the broadside of a bank. Grace under pressure? No, we of the Greatest Country in the World have all been taught well not to question the authority that comes with massive amounts of money. But when the word gets out that some of these Financial Bigwigs are Black and may have benefited from Affirmative Action at some point in their rise to the top, look out, here come the pitchforks!
posted by wendell at 8:04 PM on September 22, 2008
Tragically, this version of the meltdown will still be too hard for some to understand.
posted by Jilder at 9:03 PM on September 22, 2008
posted by Jilder at 9:03 PM on September 22, 2008
Whistling past the graveyard....
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:07 PM on September 22, 2008
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:07 PM on September 22, 2008
Quietly puts in Google Reader under category "Policy" and hopes no one notices...
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 9:10 PM on September 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 9:10 PM on September 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
Text still racist.
Really? I always read it as how animals would spell if they tried to communicate via the written word; the idea being that they'd kind of get it phonetically from listening to us all these years, but they'd have neither the education to understand proper spelling nor the dexterity in their paws to type accurately.
posted by davejay at 9:47 PM on September 22, 2008 [3 favorites]
Really? I always read it as how animals would spell if they tried to communicate via the written word; the idea being that they'd kind of get it phonetically from listening to us all these years, but they'd have neither the education to understand proper spelling nor the dexterity in their paws to type accurately.
posted by davejay at 9:47 PM on September 22, 2008 [3 favorites]
If only we had listened to Banker Cat, maybe we wouldn't be in this mess.
posted by [expletive deleted] at 10:29 PM on September 22, 2008 [3 favorites]
posted by [expletive deleted] at 10:29 PM on September 22, 2008 [3 favorites]
Text still racist.
U R STOOPID
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:31 PM on September 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
U R STOOPID
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:31 PM on September 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
Oh. thank you thank you thank you I needed a good laugh and this post gave me three or four, best investment I made all week.
posted by vrakatar at 10:46 PM on September 22, 2008
posted by vrakatar at 10:46 PM on September 22, 2008
When is this LOLCATS shit finally going to die? It's not funny anymore. Maybe it will finally be over if Newsweek does a story on it. There seems to be a causal relationship between Newsweek covering a fad and it being over. If some lazy journalist is picking over Metafilter for story ideas, please write a piece on how new and fresh LOLCATS is and submit it to Newsweek please. Thanks!
posted by Mayor Curley at 11:31 PM on September 22, 2008 [3 favorites]
posted by Mayor Curley at 11:31 PM on September 22, 2008 [3 favorites]
Uh, what race should I be thinking of when I read the captions? Maybe the alleged racism would be clearer if I knew what to listen for.
posted by ryanrs at 12:14 AM on September 23, 2008
posted by ryanrs at 12:14 AM on September 23, 2008
ryanrs Uh, what race should I be thinking of when I read the captions? Maybe the alleged racism would be clearer if I knew what to listen for.
Some race you're not. Just pick one, there's plenty to choose from. Or if you're insecure enough, whatever race you are. :)
matteo the eternal monument to the American people's grace under pressure is the fact that instead of marching on Wall Street with pitchforks to figure out empirically if the throats of those bankers are harder or softer than broken beer bottles, Americans are actually creating websites with Photoshop jokes about the whole mess.
Dude, that's not "grace under pressure". They just haven't been told they're allowed to grab pitchforks and make with the stabby-stabby.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 12:33 AM on September 23, 2008
Some race you're not. Just pick one, there's plenty to choose from. Or if you're insecure enough, whatever race you are. :)
matteo the eternal monument to the American people's grace under pressure is the fact that instead of marching on Wall Street with pitchforks to figure out empirically if the throats of those bankers are harder or softer than broken beer bottles, Americans are actually creating websites with Photoshop jokes about the whole mess.
Dude, that's not "grace under pressure". They just haven't been told they're allowed to grab pitchforks and make with the stabby-stabby.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 12:33 AM on September 23, 2008
1930s: Herblock et al.
2000s: Lolfed.
My, how we've progressed.
posted by bwerdmuller at 3:05 AM on September 23, 2008
2000s: Lolfed.
My, how we've progressed.
posted by bwerdmuller at 3:05 AM on September 23, 2008
I CAN HAS STABBY-STABBY NAO?
posted by Kadin2048 at 6:05 AM on September 23, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by Kadin2048 at 6:05 AM on September 23, 2008 [1 favorite]
From my inbox this morning:
From: Minister of the Treasury Paulson
Subject: REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
Dear American:
I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.
This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.
Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Yours Faithfully
Minister of Treasury Paulson
posted by EarBucket at 6:58 AM on September 23, 2008 [16 favorites]
From: Minister of the Treasury Paulson
Subject: REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
Dear American:
I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.
This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.
Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Yours Faithfully
Minister of Treasury Paulson
posted by EarBucket at 6:58 AM on September 23, 2008 [16 favorites]
When is this LOLCATS shit finally going to die? It's not funny anymore.
Yes, because a thing remains funny to everyone exactly as long as it remains funny to you. Also, everyone else has known about LOLCATS for exactly as long as you have.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 8:54 AM on September 23, 2008 [1 favorite]
Yes, because a thing remains funny to everyone exactly as long as it remains funny to you. Also, everyone else has known about LOLCATS for exactly as long as you have.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 8:54 AM on September 23, 2008 [1 favorite]
I'm sorry, your comment . . .it . . . it just begs for LOLCATICIZATIONZ.
When is this LOLCATS shit finally going to die? It's not funny anymore. Maybe it will finally be over if Newsweek does a story on it. There seems to be a causal relationship between Newsweek covering a fad and it being over. If some lazy journalist is picking over Metafilter for story ideas, please write a piece on how new and fresh LOLCATS is and submit it to Newsweek please. Thanks!
"When teh LOLCATZNESS diez!?? It cannot haz funneh. Oooo, NOOZWEEkz shld maek storee on LOLSPEEKZ an maek it go 'way!!! NOOZWEEKZ is fadkillr. If URA lazee failjournal ritee-cat, plz rite storee on teh LOLCATZ freshnezs an gives to NOOZWEEKZ for sharez teh lulz! "
Ahhhhh . . . social norms restored. Conventionalz grammarz iz cowerz in teh cornerz. Maek way for teh LULZ.
posted by Flipping_Hades_Terwilliger at 9:14 AM on September 23, 2008 [3 favorites]
"When teh LOLCATZNESS diez!?? It cannot haz funneh. Oooo, NOOZWEEkz shld maek storee on LOLSPEEKZ an maek it go 'way!!! NOOZWEEKZ is fadkillr. If URA lazee failjournal ritee-cat, plz rite storee on teh LOLCATZ freshnezs an gives to NOOZWEEKZ for sharez teh lulz! "
Ahhhhh . . . social norms restored. Conventionalz grammarz iz cowerz in teh cornerz. Maek way for teh LULZ.
posted by Flipping_Hades_Terwilliger at 9:14 AM on September 23, 2008 [3 favorites]
Racist? Why, some of my best friends are kittehs...
posted by everichon at 9:26 AM on September 23, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by everichon at 9:26 AM on September 23, 2008 [1 favorite]
All this talk of racism is actually species-ist. Specist? Specious! That's it.
posted by patrick rhett at 10:28 AM on September 23, 2008
posted by patrick rhett at 10:28 AM on September 23, 2008
o hai, kongres!
No one on the committee missed the opportunity to:posted by woodway at 10:36 AM on September 23, 2008
A) Lash out at Wall Street fat cats and
B) Lash out at Washington regulators who they said let the fat cats get away with their fat cattery.
From: Minister of the Treasury Paulson
Subject: REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
Earbucket, that's awesome! Although with only one or two intentionally (I assume) misspelled words and relatively straightforward syntax, it might not be mistaken for your garden-variety 419 spam.
I wonder if anyone has posted free personal ads written from the point of view of, say, Merrill Lynch looking for a buyer?
posted by homelystar at 11:19 AM on September 23, 2008
Subject: REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
Earbucket, that's awesome! Although with only one or two intentionally (I assume) misspelled words and relatively straightforward syntax, it might not be mistaken for your garden-variety 419 spam.
I wonder if anyone has posted free personal ads written from the point of view of, say, Merrill Lynch looking for a buyer?
posted by homelystar at 11:19 AM on September 23, 2008
"I used a WaMu ATM today and it asked to borrow $20 till Friday."
Sigh. I passed that on to rec.humor.funny but they stripped the attribution. Sorry MiltonRandKalman.
posted by tkolar at 12:25 AM on September 30, 2008
Sigh. I passed that on to rec.humor.funny but they stripped the attribution. Sorry MiltonRandKalman.
posted by tkolar at 12:25 AM on September 30, 2008
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posted by chuckdarwin at 4:54 PM on September 22, 2008