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September 22, 2008 5:12 PM   Subscribe


 
So...Yahoo is Daniel Plainview?
posted by turgid dahlia at 5:16 PM on September 22, 2008


Corporate PWN'd's.
posted by humannaire at 5:19 PM on September 22, 2008


Hotbot FTW!
posted by oncogenesis at 5:24 PM on September 22, 2008 [1 favorite]


My names D-U
And I'm here to say
I lasted 5 seconds
THE END
posted by DU at 5:31 PM on September 22, 2008 [1 favorite]


FS here and what I preach is tru,
D, I lasted less time that U
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 5:40 PM on September 22, 2008 [2 favorites]


Yes. I've decided I don't like it either.
posted by gman at 5:43 PM on September 22, 2008


Ill.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:02 PM on September 22, 2008


OH NO HE DI'INT!
posted by dhammond at 6:03 PM on September 22, 2008


Wow. I thought I'd seen dumb on the internet before. This sets a new bar.
posted by Manhasset at 6:03 PM on September 22, 2008


Things that are bad about this video:

1) The rapping is pretty craptacular
2) That yahoo was the 2nd search engine
3) The surprising enthusiasm of the crowd
4) The amount of time and money spent for sheer production value of their costumes
5) I watched it
posted by Lacking Subtlety at 6:22 PM on September 22, 2008


Wow. I thought I'd seen dumb on the internet before. This sets a new bar.

Prepare to be stupified.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:23 PM on September 22, 2008 [7 favorites]


MSN is a search engine?
posted by Sys Rq at 6:29 PM on September 22, 2008


This would have been better as a rickroll.
posted by oddman at 6:32 PM on September 22, 2008 [1 favorite]


You know, it is possible for things to be incredibly stupid and entertaining at the same time.
posted by delmoi at 6:46 PM on September 22, 2008


1) The rapping is pretty craptacular

Well, what were you expecting, the second coming of Tupac? This is like complaining that you don't like Weird Al because his songs sound too much like other songs.
posted by dhammond at 6:54 PM on September 22, 2008


That butterfly was right about Wikipedia.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 6:57 PM on September 22, 2008 [1 favorite]


I usually try not to pile on the negative in Mefi...but yeah, this was pretty bad and unfunny.
posted by Hands of Manos at 7:17 PM on September 22, 2008


Gold! no, wait, the other thing... lame! That's it: lame.
posted by GuyZero at 7:18 PM on September 22, 2008


I asked Jeeves. He didn't like it either.
posted by Artw at 7:29 PM on September 22, 2008


I lasted 5 seconds

I didn't even make it that long.
posted by IvoShandor at 7:40 PM on September 22, 2008


I just searched 'sad sack of shit' on both engines and this video came up
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 7:42 PM on September 22, 2008 [1 favorite]


"We're sorry, this video is no longer available." Sounds like a good thing I got here late.
posted by desjardins at 7:48 PM on September 22, 2008


I thought it were funny...y'all drink too much haterade.
posted by schyler523 at 8:01 PM on September 22, 2008


This was merely a test to see who I want to be Facebook friends with.
posted by gman at 8:13 PM on September 22, 2008


Fake rap battles are the new...ehh...um

I give up internet, I'm going to go back to Gopher. TTYL.
posted by hellojed at 8:26 PM on September 22, 2008


I apologize, but...
geek freestyle battle via bash.org (which is down at the moment):

[djahandarie] we ain't here to do e-c-e
[djahandarie] we're here to do c-s-e on the w-e-b
[djahandarie] listen to me spit these rhymes
[djahandarie] while i program lines
[djahandarie] and commit web accessibility crimes
[djahandarie] word, son
[http402] You talk like your big on these I-Net kicks,
[http402] But your shit flows slower than a two-eighty-six.
[http402] I'm tracking down hosts and nmap scans,
[http402] While Code Igniter's got you wringing your hands.
[http402] Cut the crap rap,
[http402] Or I'll run ettercap,
[http402] Grab your AIM chat,
[http402] N' send a PC bitch-slap!
[http402] peace
[djahandarie] you're talkin bout down hosts and nmap scans
[djahandarie] while i got other plans
[djahandarie] you're at your new job, but you can't even do it right
[djahandarie] you just create a plight with your http rewrites
[djahandarie] i've been on the web since the age of three
[djahandarie] you just got on directly off the bus from mississippi
[djahandarie] respect yo' elders, bitch
[http402] You've been webbin' since three, but still ain't grown up,
[http402] Gotta update your config and send the brain a SIGHUP.
[http402] You say you're that old? No wonder you're slow!
[http402] You're knocking at the door while I run this show!
[http402] Elders my ass, you're shit's still in school,
[http402] Hunt and pecking at the keyboard like a spaghetti-damned fool,
[http402] Rim-riffing your hard drive like a tool,
[http402] Face it. I rule.
[djahandarie] i erase my harddrives with magnets (bitch)
[djahandarie] all you can do is troll on the fagnets
[djahandarie] and son, my brain's wrapped in a nohup
[djahandarie] it wont be hurt by the words you throwup
[djahandarie] dont mind me while i emerge my ownage
[djahandarie] while you're still over there apt-getting your porridge
[djahandarie] you say i'm still in school
[djahandarie] but the fact is that i know the rule
[djahandarie] cuz you need to go back to grade three
[djahandarie] and you better plea, that they take sucky graduates from c-s-e
[http402] Time to bend over and apply a patch,
[http402] Your brain's throwing static like a CD with a scratch.
[http402] Your connection got nuked and you've met your match.
[http402] You run a single process like a VAX with a batch.
[http402] I'd pass the torch to a real winner
[http402] But it'd just scorch a while-loop spinner
[http402] Caught in a loop that you cant escape,
[http402] I run clock cycles around your words and flows,
[http402] Cuz your rhyme is like a PS fan: it' blows,
[http402] Your water-cooled lyrics leak and it shows,
[http402] Take your ass back to alt.paid.for.windows.

posted by juv3nal at 8:26 PM on September 22, 2008 [1 favorite]


1) The rapping is pretty craptacular

Well, what were you expecting, the second coming of Tupac?


Sounds like that's what he got! Burn!

seriously, sit down and really listen to Tupac sometime. He was fucking awful. No flow at all.
posted by drjimmy11 at 9:02 PM on September 22, 2008


btw, for your reference:

good rapping = internal rhymes and flows rhythmically.

bad fake white people rapping= awkwardly semi-rhythmic, rhymes at ends of the lines only. Belies condescending attitude that "it's just talking, anyone can do it."
posted by drjimmy11 at 9:05 PM on September 22, 2008


wha? tupac no flow? this guy, who's maybe not twisting tongues but is doing alright? i mean.. i like shock g better too, but the most successful rapper, ever, in the history of rap, has no flow at all?

show us how it's done, doctor jimmy!
posted by sergeant sandwich at 9:14 PM on September 22, 2008


dhammond and drjimmy

-I'm sorry, anyone engaging in a rap battle should be halfway decent. Practice in the mirror about 5,000 times and get the overwhelming approval of your hater friends, before ever subjecting yourself to public shame.
-Tupac could rap dude. You see seem to like guys who have superior flow which is cool, but to dismiss the other side of rapping is borderline reconkulus. The other half or rap being a sense of diction and distinctive voice. I've known plenty of dudes who could flow, but had absolutely no energy or distinction to their voice.
-and that was Tupac's strong suit. His guttural, yet effortless voice came across crystal clear and the man could annunciate his intent with every word.

-sergent sandwich is right! (I'm so glad I just got to write that, I'm going to start saying that all the time by the way). TUPAC was unfathomably successful for a very good reason.
posted by Lacking Subtlety at 10:44 PM on September 22, 2008


...rhymes at ends of the lines only.

Yeah, what's up with that? I'm the whitest ukulele-playing guy you'll ever meet, and even *I* know how to develop complex rhyme structure within one or more lines. Disappointing.
posted by davejay at 10:54 PM on September 22, 2008


That was just average bad. That ... thing ... that Blazecock Pileon linked to was truly horrifying.
posted by kanewai at 11:44 PM on September 22, 2008


With all the careful thought they put into this campaign- or whatever it's supposed to be- they mistakenly flipped MSN's butterfly's wing colors. He's flying away from you in the logo, foolz.

You heard me right, I just nitpicked that, doodz
So brush up your mashups, or get off the toobz
Of you is what I mean, girls, guys, and Jeb (bush)
So stop diggin' for props on the world's wide web (bush)!

ooooooooohhh!!!!

posted by self at 12:41 AM on September 23, 2008


TUPAC was unfathomably successful for a very good reason.

MC Hammer, Vanilla Ice, and Sean Puffy Diddly Combs have all had unfathomably successful rap careers. Was there a good reason for them?

I don't know what the fuck adds up to being the greatest rapper, but I've never heard satisfactory conditions for it. Even if someone did come up with some kind of valid subjective measurements, I still don't think Biggie or Tupac would fairly garner that title. Whatevs.

Anyways, I enjoyed the corny links!
posted by P.o.B. at 12:44 AM on September 23, 2008


Best rap battle ever!
posted by P.o.B. at 12:53 AM on September 23, 2008 [2 favorites]


A viral from MSN? Great, thanks for crapping up my MeFi with this marketing drek.
posted by MaxK at 2:04 AM on September 23, 2008


*Bleaches ears*
posted by mandal at 2:37 AM on September 23, 2008


Prepare to be stupified.
posted by Blazecock Pileon


Christ on a stick, that was horrible BP.
posted by mandal at 2:37 AM on September 23, 2008


Prepare to be stupified.
posted by Blazecock Pileon


I can't quite believe I watched all of that, especially as being British I don't even know half of those shows...
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:14 AM on September 23, 2008


Who the F is Josh Groban? Does he have some connection with the entertainment business? I had to bail because my brain was on fire and not in a good way. But I can't say that he was worse than the Phony Rappers. They're all vying for our attention and all fail the test. Ugh.
posted by beelzbubba at 5:22 AM on September 23, 2008


Josh Groban is supposedly a "popular" "singer"
posted by Sys Rq at 6:50 AM on September 23, 2008


You know, it is possible for things to be incredibly stupid and entertaining at the same time.

UPN just got a new motto.
posted by elwoodwiles at 9:26 AM on September 23, 2008


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