Avast, Ye Scurvy Homophobes!

September 24, 2008 10:58 AM

On September 19th, the Westboro Baptist Church planned a protest outside the National Conference of Editorial Writers, claiming that they were "responsible for the satanic milieu in this evil land" and for assisting the "satanic agendas" of "baby-killers and fags." But September 19th also happened to be International Talk Like a Pirate Day. And thus, a group of local residents were inspired to stage an effective, and entertaining, counterprotest.
posted by EmpressCallipygos (31 comments total)

I still say that we'll eventually find Fred Phelps in bed with a male prostitute. and several species of flora and fauna.
posted by jonmc at 11:02 AM on September 24, 2008 [4 favorites]

Too bad his latest protest was a flop; now Phelps won't be getting his check from MoveOn.org this month for services rendered.
posted by resurrexit at 11:05 AM on September 24, 2008

Fred Phelps meets Fred Garvin?

That would be a lovely day.
posted by Spatch at 11:05 AM on September 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

But what happens when the ninjas step up to defend Phelps?
posted by cimbrog at 11:05 AM on September 24, 2008

I am not a fan of Talk Like A Pirate Day, mostly because of so many people who do it badly (and at my workplace, too).

But this is a magnificent, brilliant, and entirely proper use of the concept. Bravo to the Arkansas Pastafarian Pirates who pulled this little piece of culture counterjamming.
posted by mephron at 11:05 AM on September 24, 2008 [6 favorites]

National Conference of Editorial Writers

Back up.
posted by DU at 11:06 AM on September 24, 2008

Our economy, health care system, and international reputation may be in shitter, but fucked if our pirates don't have some righteous fight left in em'. Stories like this make me damn proud to be an American.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 11:06 AM on September 24, 2008 [2 favorites]

I still hold that Phelps is brilliant parody of the Right which will only be revealed on his deathbed. At least I hope, since he's more or less in my back yard.
posted by piedmont at 11:10 AM on September 24, 2008

What? No video? This is a dropped ball.
posted by philip-random at 11:12 AM on September 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

No video?!
posted by parmanparman at 11:16 AM on September 24, 2008

What? No video?

Good point -- the second link says there was a TV crew, but my computer here is tweaked -- will look when I get home and see if I can find something to add.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:17 AM on September 24, 2008

Central Arkansas Pastafarians

I never, ever thought I would see those words all together like that. Wonderful.

(And I'm still wrapping my brain around the National Conference of Editorial Writers being responsible for....anything, really, let alone this alleged satanic milieu we've go going on.)
posted by rtha at 11:20 AM on September 24, 2008

The Central Arkansas Pastafarians. Ha! Flying Spaghetti Monster. These people are fun.
posted by nickyskye at 11:23 AM on September 24, 2008

Well done, me hearties. Well done.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:31 AM on September 24, 2008

I'm picturing Phelps sitting in the basement of his church, tending to his list of things which god hates:

Gays, Abortions, Roman Catholics, Muslims, Jews, the Chinese, Swedes, Canadians, the Irish, the British, Mexicans...

And after much deliberation, he carefully pens in "Pirates" at the end.
posted by quin at 11:32 AM on September 24, 2008 [33 favorites]

This makes me smile.
posted by schyler523 at 11:41 AM on September 24, 2008

They were protesting at the University of Kansas law school hooding ceremony, and I totally got my picture taken with them.
posted by padraigin at 11:46 AM on September 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

I love the "God hates shrimp" signs, but I'm still waiting to see the Phelps clan weather a God hates figs counter-protest.
posted by anthom at 12:10 PM on September 24, 2008

I still say that we'll eventually find Fred Phelps in bed with a male prostitute.

That's awfully predictable, isn't it? I'd put a trillion quatloos on the Westboro Baptists being the kind of folks who like to keep it in the family.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:16 PM on September 24, 2008

This whole church is in need of a giant [sic] from God.
posted by ericbop at 12:32 PM on September 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

What a hateful man
is Reverend Fred;
What hateful things
That man has said;
What a wasted life
That man has led;
What evil thoughts
Must busy his head;
What a twsited Bible
That man has read;
What a lunatic text of
Loathing and dread.

If you need to start sobbing
I've found it helps
To think that this world
Has in it Fred Phelps.
Nothing brings sorrow and
Moaning and yelps
Like the knowledge that the world
Has in it Fred Phelps.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:44 PM on September 24, 2008 [4 favorites]

The worst thing that the Westboro Baptist Church could ever have happen to them would be for the entire world to pretend as if they didn't exist.

The BBC did a documentary, "The Most Hated Family in America," in which their documentarian was remarkably accepted. You see the stark 'logic' they see in their minds. And in that documentary, they indicate that the entire purpose of all their horrible behavior is that they want to "evoke" the evil within each of us by provoking everyone. So when we yell, rant, rave, snark, call them names, throw things at them, what have you, we are doing exactly what they would like us to do — that's why they keep doing this. The awfulness of what they do is a purposeful choice. And this country and this world consistently oblige them.

They desire that reaction. For the entire world to pretend as if they didn't exist — literally do what little kids probably still do in the playground, and pretend as if they literally do not physically exist — would probably be the most frustrating thing imaginable to them.
posted by WCityMike at 12:54 PM on September 24, 2008 [3 favorites]

I'm here to help the pirates. I've got rum and a lash. As for the rest, you're on you're own.
posted by jonmc at 1:06 PM on September 24, 2008

REVENGE O' DA NERDZ
posted by KokuRyu at 1:25 PM on September 24, 2008

The worst thing that the Westboro Baptist Church could ever have happen to them would be for the entire world to pretend as if they didn't exist.

It's hard to pretend people don't exist when they're screaming over the prayers at your relative's funeral.

People desperate for attention who are ignored don't just get tired and go away. They become more and more extreme in their attempts to get attention, until they do something dangerous.
posted by deanc at 2:05 PM on September 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

Wake me when there's a ninja protest. Or don't. I probably won't know either way.
posted by katillathehun at 3:20 PM on September 24, 2008

When I die, my heaven has strippers and a beer volcano!
posted by Xoebe at 4:01 PM on September 24, 2008

Truly the best defense against speech you don’t like is pirate speech.

I mentioned to a buddy of mine who wanted to ‘take out’ some Nazi marchers that we should get a bunch of people together and go to the rally dressed as clowns.
In retrospect, Santas might have been a better contrast. Gorilla suits perhaps.

Still - this pirate thing is beautiful.

I’m wondering what is the most innocuous thing to wear - no possible message one could read into it.
Ninjas perhaps. But y’know, you don’t see them.

Yeah, clowns. Shenannigans, etc.
Although - a few hundred people in clown outfits standing around silently watching you, bit disconcerting.
posted by Smedleyman at 5:27 PM on September 24, 2008

Yow -- no video yet. Give it time, I'm sure...

The worst thing that the Westboro Baptist Church could ever have happen to them would be for the entire world to pretend as if they didn't exist.

True. But this seems to be the second-best way I've heard of combating them -- most of the media were ignoring the WBC and saying "wait. Pirates. Let's film them instead." And as for their reaction to the pirates themselves, according to accounts the WBC were just way too confused to know WHAT to do, and just sort of...left.

I always think baffling your enemy into submission is a good tactic.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:10 PM on September 24, 2008

Yeah, clowns. Shenannigans, etc.

Be careful what you wish for.
posted by Phalene at 6:29 PM on September 24, 2008

Astro Zombie, that is awesome. I award you a point.
posted by JHarris at 6:44 PM on September 24, 2008