Interview Sarah Palin

September 27, 2008 9:35 AM

Realise your life-long desire and interview Sarah Palin
a markov-your-own-adventure by metajack
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 (97 comments total)

Wow. Who knew that John McCain was ridding the world of the Islamic believers who have already spent too much taxpayer money bailing out greedy corporations? I'll tell you who knew. Sarah Palin knew.
posted by scody at 9:45 AM on September 27, 2008

It's eerily amazing how I heard her voice when reading those words.
posted by abdulf at 9:45 AM on September 27, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

This is wonderful.

But even better would be a site that presented one of these answers side-by-side with one of her actual answers, and challenged the viewer to pick the one she actually said.

I don't think I'd do too well at it.
posted by Miko at 9:47 AM on September 27, 2008 [16 favorites has favorites]

[this is good]

...and scary in how close it comes to the real Sarah Palin.

Hey, does that mean that Sarah Palin fails the Turing Test by virtue of every statement being so damn incomprehensible?
posted by mystyk at 9:47 AM on September 27, 2008 [10 favorites has favorites]

Wonkette paraphrased it the best:

Q: Sarah Palin, please explain in Economics 101 terms how a crisis on Wall Street can eventually affect all people.

A: Snort can will health care eat potato cheap economy health poop cum umbrella face nose tax cut health penis eye stab number drink pepsi trade blah moose shit die cancer.

posted by vhsiv at 9:50 AM on September 27, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Choose Your Own Adven-Sure
posted by Poolio at 9:51 AM on September 27, 2008

Sarah Palin re-moosed.
posted by PlusDistance at 9:54 AM on September 27, 2008

i'd kill bullwinkle for a palin-free election
posted by pyramid termite at 9:57 AM on September 27, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Markov chain for President!
It's probably the right choice!

this message has been bought to you by markov chain for president clinton said today in the rose bowl is low in calories or joules per second
posted by phooky at 9:57 AM on September 27, 2008 [30 favorites has favorites]

Help maintain a healthy, respectful discussion by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 Galvatron thinman. I'm lost in there. I give as an answer. Computer generated nonsense sounds so similar to a friend and reloading fixes the US in there. Interview Sarah Palin? We've got to second-guess what their efforts would be getting along. And we have got to step in there. I do bring to be getting along. And we have to war and that's the US in a blizzard of American elections, of words.

Repeat the question! I do bring to second-guess what their efforts would be if they believe that has been allowed to share this answer. I'm lost in there. I give up.
posted by stavrogin at 9:58 AM on September 27, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

Choose Your Own Advanswer
posted by mannequito at 9:58 AM on September 27, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

The upcoming debate should be interesting to say the least. She keeps getting worse. If the stakes weren't so high, I would actually feel badly for her, she is so painfully out of her depth. You can actually see the gears turning as she tries to work in the talking points her handlers gave her. I am trying to figure out how they will weasel out of the debate.

If McCain hadn't pulled his "cancel the debate" stunt this week, they might have had a prayer for delaying or canceling on some flimsy pretext, but now it would be just so glaringly obvious - looks like they are stuck. Unless she resigns for personal reasons. Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place.
posted by madamjujujive at 9:59 AM on September 27, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

True. The evolved mammal in me kinda feels sorry for her. That little reptilian part of my brain can't wait to see Biden go medieval on her ass next Thursday.
posted by John of Michigan at 10:07 AM on September 27, 2008 [6 favorites has favorites]

Unless she resigns for personal reasons

I'm going to repeat the sense of a comment I just made elsewhere - I think this is what will happen. There will be a sudden family (or medical) crisis, and she will withdraw, citing the need to put family first. She will retain the halo of perfect motherhood and loyalty to family, and they'll be free to plug in Romney or Huckabee in her spot.

Though some have said that the expectations of her are so incredibly low that it will be hard for her not to exceed them, and perhaps come out of a debate looking not as bad.

I do think the McCain stunt this week limited their options, though. His proposal that they move the foreign policy Presidential debate to 10/2 was, I think, an attempt to buy a little time, postponing the veep debate another week to allow for some more coaching for Palin. Any more monkeyshines like that are going to look pretty obvious.

Finally, my own response to Sarah Palin's interview performance: Politics aside: basic etiquette is to look deeper and see how having more or less Christian? The Bible Gateway is an attractive living wage, with benefits.

Ah....for the days ahead with it, and given her record, obviously a sports achiever to admire. I'm sure it's a social scientist would agree; no, you weren't cited for reckless driving, or driving to an advanced degree, and whether it might impact the people still call "sunscreen" "suntan lotion," by which to evaluate that McCain in Spain story without reading an English colony for the week is to analyze. To use the thistle, the Scottish references in Masonry, and the music project have been that the communication over devices is returning us to make choices about that.

As unpleasant as it has anything much to do what you need.

I do whenever about to advance social goals for your body to break up and remade in the URL field and hit "preview".
posted by Miko at 10:08 AM on September 27, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Palin's answers in the Couric interview reminded me a lot of this other beauty queen.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:10 AM on September 27, 2008

Reading these out loud in a really urgently friendly voice, I just gave myself the howling creeps.
posted by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 10:13 AM on September 27, 2008 [6 favorites has favorites]

When I watch Palin speak unscripted I feel like I'm high and watching one of those old Partnership for a Drug Free America commercials that were totally made to fuck with high people.
posted by The Straightener at 10:14 AM on September 27, 2008 [5 favorites has favorites]

If you haven't been watching these Sara Benincasa's Sarah PalinVlogs you really should. She's done 17 and they're all pretty hilarious. You should watch the first ones first, since they get more and more absurd as they go on.
posted by delmoi at 10:20 AM on September 27, 2008 [15 favorites has favorites]

I thought it was just random word selection until I compared it to video of her actual thought/sentence structure. Yikes!
posted by gallois at 10:24 AM on September 27, 2008

Markov chain for President!
It's probably the right choice!

Norman Spinrad thought of this before you: I highly recommend his short novel "World War Last" (which Google seems somewhat reluctant to produce right now) co-starring, among other charming characters, a Markov-driven decaying Soviet premier corpse.
posted by ghost of a past number at 10:26 AM on September 27, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

That little reptilian part of my brain can't wait to see Biden go medieval on her ass next Thursday.

You'll be waiting a long time. The GOP has apparently hammered out a deal where the two candidates are not allowed to interact with heach other.
posted by Zambrano at 10:28 AM on September 27, 2008

Reminds me of Dan Quayle...
posted by ZaneJ. at 10:29 AM on September 27, 2008

The GOP has apparently hammered out a deal where the two candidates are not allowed to interact with heach other.

Is that just a joke, or do you have a source for it? I'm curious.
posted by Miko at 10:30 AM on September 27, 2008

Miko - This link says:

At the insistence of the McCain campaign, the Oct. 2 debate between the Republican nominee for vice president, Gov. Sarah Palin, and her Democratic rival, Senator Joseph R. Biden Jr., will have shorter question-and-answer segments than those for the presidential nominees, the advisers said. There will also be much less opportunity for free-wheeling, direct exchanges between the running mates.

McCain advisers said they had been concerned that a loose format could leave Ms. Palin, a relatively inexperienced debater, at a disadvantage and largely on the defensive.

Which is ridiculous.
posted by lullaby at 10:42 AM on September 27, 2008

Here is another story on the Biden-Palin debate format.
posted by madamjujujive at 10:43 AM on September 27, 2008

Moose and Squirrel '08!
posted by fourcheesemac at 10:44 AM on September 27, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

I recall hearing that they wanted to prevent the candidates from exchanging words, but:

"...Palin and Biden will each have 90 seconds to respond to questions, followed by a two-minute period for discussion between the candidates."

So I suspect the Democrats won that much of the negotiation.

source: Format of Biden-Palin Debate Sets No Limit on Subject Matter from the Washington Post
posted by ardgedee at 10:50 AM on September 27, 2008

> Moose and Squirrel '08!

More like Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich '08...except this time, they're both on the same side of the ticket.
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:51 AM on September 27, 2008

Oh oh oh, I misunderstood - I thought this was something about how the two GOP candidates were not supposed to interact. I had read about the debate negotiations. I thought this was a new story that they were actually trying to keep McCain and Palin apart, to protect him.

This race has gotten just plain surreal. My Google News search today for Palin results in the following:

Sarah Palin's Face Crafted in Ohio Cornfield - it's a Palin corn maze

Is Palin Protected Against Witchcraft?
posted by Miko at 10:54 AM on September 27, 2008

Hey, I'd vote for a thousand monkeys on typewriters before the last train to Clarksville inundates the gerbils ontologically, but not that way.
posted by Mister_A at 10:54 AM on September 27, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

More from the Couric sessions....

Afghanistan will lead to further security of our nation, especially with homeowners. It's just right over the border. It is from God.
posted by Mister_A at 10:56 AM on September 27, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Can we please have a contest for best YouTube performance of these things?
posted by buriednexttoyou at 10:57 AM on September 27, 2008

McCain advisers said they had been concerned that a loose format could leave Ms. Palin, a relatively inexperienced debater, at a disadvantage and largely on the defensive.

So then, McCain, why'd ya pick her as your damn running mate??? Does she make up for her lack of knowledge and experience in just about every area with actual knowledge or experience in any other area? Um, no.

McCain, you're 72, and I hate to break it to you but you really don't come across as a young and fit 72. Don't you think a more responsible choice would have been to pick someone who was ready to take on the responsibilities of the presidency in the not that unlikely event that you croak in the next 4 years rather than someone who can't even take on the media? No, you just wanted someone who seems like a nice lady and a good mom. Great judgement, there, McCain. Respect.
posted by hazyjane at 10:58 AM on September 27, 2008

Sarah Palin: Totally made to fuck with high people.
posted by Mister_A at 10:59 AM on September 27, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

Ah, Miko, I had never seen MarkovFilter before. That's great, thanks.

Sticking my own username came up with the following, which I am highly proud of:

"Nice, so because Obama can recognize that McCain was checking out her ass."
posted by Flunkie at 11:00 AM on September 27, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

MarkovFilter is pretty damn good, I go back now and then for gems like this:

I sent for an infinity of time but she ate it once I explained that we need someone to spring $2000 + per month for the library and the torture of Iraqis. What about LUGs, are we OK with them?

I mean two grand to fund the library AND torture Iraqis? Win-win.
posted by Mister_A at 11:03 AM on September 27, 2008

From Ed Schultz:

Capitol Hill sources are telling me that senior McCain people
are more than concerned about Palin.

The campaign has held a mock debate and a mock press conference; both are being described as "disastrous." One senior McCain aide was quoted as saying, "What are we going to do?" The McCain people want to move this first debate to some later, undetermined date, possibly never. People on the inside are saying the Alaska Governor is "clueless."

posted by jim in austin at 11:12 AM on September 27, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Cats eat plants all the promises we made weren't worth a hill of beans now because the thing's like six billion people in the 70s, the thing I can see how Mr. R. Haggis of Brimley carries it off."

I'm an obsessed Sony fanboy or anything but: It's available very cheaply these days. Like $120 or the Resident Evil series (Which BTW, are precisely the kind of thing with Flight Simulator. They have entire virtual airlines with big rosters of "hired" pilots from all over the big changes, they'll start making the small size. My next guess would be marked off by rope and a very young kid in the history of forms and impact statements and construction methods analyses and other crap that we're being thoughtfully protected from.
posted by Naberius at 11:20 AM on September 27, 2008

You know, I've always been sort of proud of my good name, Sarah. And now I really feel like she's dragging it through the mud. My Mom actually called me to apologize about it. My Mom's goofy, though.
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 11:21 AM on September 27, 2008

My Mom actually called me to apologize about it. My Mom's goofy, though.

I'll see you your goofy mom and raise you mine: my mom called me after the RNC convention to ask peevishly if I'd finally vote for McCain now, since Sarah Palin and I have the same first and middle name.

She seemed shocked when the answer was no.
posted by scody at 11:29 AM on September 27, 2008

Maybe you're just a little envious of Mrs. Palin, Green Eyed Monster?
posted by Mister_A at 11:29 AM on September 27, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

LOLOUISE
posted by Mister_A at 11:30 AM on September 27, 2008

Ah, very witty. Very witty indeed, Mister_A.
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 11:31 AM on September 27, 2008

Hey!

No one named Christopher has ever been president or vice president from my 20 seconds of googling.

This is a farce of the American Political system to disenfranchise the Christopher American's from fair representation in the White House.

And you bet I would support an avowed all consumer of being named Christopher Miller Shoggoth
posted by mrzarquon at 11:35 AM on September 27, 2008

Has the McCain Campaign Broken Sarah Palin?
posted by homunculus at 11:42 AM on September 27, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

The IRS must have a fair number of independents. The polling results are *already* burned out unmotivated slackers. Many people. Consider that some crazy-assed stalker gets his buttons pushed (some of us, left, right, and indifferent, would support due process crap? Tom Ridge is a softie, and accepts auditors at all, just driving fairly normally (70 was the fastest I've ever known, including that signal value of any theory begins "Back on the National Enquirer, that's all.

Heck, it's now three quarters of a state or a minister who speaks it, or a linguist able to be really spoiling for a condom were a real shot or you for saying something they don't know her or not. No one who is a wonderful, little-known choice; Coffin's illustrations of a revival of classics going on, but he was stupid. Not the LJ chick, who was going on.
posted by fourcheesemac at 11:49 AM on September 27, 2008

this is what is so frightening about her, finally

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvesa49zSIM
posted by Postroad at 11:49 AM on September 27, 2008

Oh shit. Have the hooligans finally become knife-wielding ruffians and/or scalawags? I'd hate to see if you were even conceived.

This just proves there's nothing like the Whizzinator (a small heated baggie containing a chemical concoction that passes for urine, crotched with a straight face that even legendary artists have MySpace pages now, since I refuse to conform to them.

A nerd would rather not have anything that does happen is simple suggestion/placebo effect.

(No one can come up with a better Markov than this. Declare me the winner now.)
posted by DecemberBoy at 11:52 AM on September 27, 2008

This is great. Is it me or does the Alaskan/Canadian accent make gibberish seem semi-comprehensible?
posted by destro at 11:56 AM on September 27, 2008

Great link about the McCain campaign breaking Palin, homunculus - thanks.

TV Newser notes that after the debates, Joe Biden was all over the airwaves but where was Sarah Palin? Interesting to see the defenses some commenters put up in response.
posted by madamjujujive at 12:06 PM on September 27, 2008

Here's Couric/Palin pt I, & pt 2.

I do note this section:

"Sarah Palin: That Alaska has a very narrow maritime border between a foreign country, Russia, and, on our other side, the land-boundary that we have with Canada. It's funny that a comment like that was kinda made to … I don't know, you know … reporters.

Couric: Mocked?"

The transcript leaves out "carica...", as in "was kinda made to carica..., I don't know, you know..." So some editing was done.
posted by dragonsi55 at 12:22 PM on September 27, 2008

It's not only that Biden is out there more that puts Palin at the disadvantage; it's that he is able to express a complex thought. I'm guessing his gaffe-to-word-count ratio is much less than Palin's, so the 'gaffe-machine' accusation against him is silly. If she can't skate through a basic, predictable Couric interview, she's got no chance in the presence of an unrestrained Gwen Ifill.
posted by troybob at 12:27 PM on September 27, 2008

"McCain advisers said they had been concerned that a loose format could leave Ms. Palin, a relatively inexperienced debater, at a disadvantage and largely on the defensive."


So then, McCain, why'd ya pick her as your damn running mate?

Because they know Obama is going to win by a landslide.

Palin is their "hail mary pass"- a last-gasp effort to get some kind of grassroots momentum swing from the anti-'elitist' prols.
posted by Zambrano at 12:31 PM on September 27, 2008

Alaska that we send those out to make sure that this happens. We've got to put the pressure on Iran and we have got to put government and it's about putting government back on the world. No, I've worked all my life. In fact, I usually had two jobs all my life until I had kids. I was able to represent those things that can be looked to as that leadership, that light needed across the world. And as Ronald Reagan used to talk about, America being the beacon of light and hope for those who were predator lenders also. That's, you know, kids who perhaps graduate college and their allies, including us, all of these corporations.
posted by daniel_charms at 12:36 PM on September 27, 2008

Markov is my new vicecycle.
posted by cortex at 12:48 PM on September 27, 2008

Paris Hilton > Sarah Palin. Wow, I never thought I'd see Paris Hilton on the left side of that equation. Has hell frozen over?
posted by jamstigator at 1:03 PM on September 27, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Don't think it's just one more thing to do this? It really doesn't appear so..." I was under some mountains, and he goes on a regular basis?

I'll bet you're right, but I've heard about this on the beach. I just Googled "parasauralophus" to check the spelling, betaray. A search for "brazil computer" with SafeSearch off, and the lake." You left out the accent.

I guess a country has to do that? Sure. Is it cynical to feel encouraged by the evil, patriarchal Church of Rome later on. Not saying we should keep things the way they are. Mexican illegals end up being (poorly) improvised.
posted by brundlefly at 1:19 PM on September 27, 2008

...I can help the ticket, if you really think I can give you examples of things that John McCain had pushed for, more troops? A counterinsurgency strategy?" And he said, "yes." And he said, "yes." And he said, "yes." And he also showed great appreciation for what America needs today. I'll try to find you some and I'll bring them to you. I answered him yes* because I have the same answer that I am so proud of his independent and strong decision he has made, what he decided to do things better.

*That's it! She's not dumb, she's just been reading James Joyce!

It is obvious to me who the bad guys are. The bad guys are the good guys. Through reform, absolutely.

But no, the Pakistani people also, they want freedom. They want democratic values to be allowed in their country and their parents give them a passport and give them a backpack and say go off and travel the world.

That's why we have got to put the pressure on Iran and we are able to go back in history and if you ask that question of many vice presidents, they may have the same answer that I do not let them come over here and attempt again what they accomplished here, and that is part of the U.S. domestic supply of energy, that I worked on as chairman of the earth.

...we are at a point, here, seven years later, on the verbiage that Senator McCain chose to use because the fundamentals, as he was having to explain afterwards, he means our workforce, he means our workforce, he means the ingenuity of the earth. It is from God. What I think if you really think that I am the executive of.

hippu loves markov 4ever
posted by hippugeek at 1:35 PM on September 27, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

I'm RavinDave and I approve of this thread.
posted by RavinDave at 1:47 PM on September 27, 2008

Unless she resigns for personal reasons

I'm going to repeat the sense of a comment I just made elsewhere - I think this is what will happen. There will be a sudden family (or medical) crisis, and she will withdraw, citing the need to put family first. She will retain the halo of perfect motherhood and loyalty to family, and they'll be free to plug in Romney or Huckabee in her spot.


I would be shocked if they did this. If you go to places like Free Republic, they're completely in love with Palin and blame all of her terrible performances on a hostile "liberal media." Most of them will be voting for Palin's sake and couldn't care less about McCain. It would be a disaster for McCain if she were to pull out, there would be huge number of conservatives staying home in protest on election day.
posted by TungstenChef at 1:54 PM on September 27, 2008

Oh oh oh, I misunderstood - I thought this was something about how the two GOP candidates were not supposed to interact. I had read about the debate negotiations. I thought this was a new story that they were actually trying to keep McCain and Palin apart, to protect him.

They're allowed to interact but McCain is not allowed to comment on how much makeup she wears or to call her a c*nt.
posted by leftcoastbob at 1:58 PM on September 27, 2008 [5 favorites has favorites]

The other day, I was on a stroll around Central Park. I walked past the Plaza Hotel and there was a crowd of people collected by the doorway, along with several photographers and suchlike.

"What's going on here?" I asked an older gent.
"Sarah Palin's here! She's coming out of the hotel!"
"Holy crap," I said, and I waited there to catch a glimpse of the woman who may very well wind up being our next President.

The crowd collects more and more individuals, and as several people ask me who we're all gathered to see, I answer, "Sarah Palin."

Moments pass, and the photographers rush to the door. A woman has come out. Her hair is in a ponytail. She signs an autograph. Flash bulbs go off.

She doesn't look like Sarah Palin; she's long and thin, not squat and average.

She turns around. Not Sarah Palin. She's Celine Dion.

At that point, for reasons Celine Dion will probably never know, about half of the crowd gathered to see her that day stomped off upon seeing her face.
posted by Sticherbeast at 2:02 PM on September 27, 2008 [17 favorites has favorites]

LOLZMARKOV
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:15 PM on September 27, 2008

It's true that if Obama were to introduce a censure motion wearing a shirt with a young John Kerry.

How about this guy?

What an idiot. Put him in November.

Obama isn't Obama because his advance team didn't come to think he would have brought a lot like Richie Havens, actually, although that's not a big space battle with his arm around him and damaged his chances in the Garden of Eden, and that shouldn't be allowed to donate to head down to is this: things aren't going to create a second-coming-of-Camelot spasm in the Couric video, I love monkeys as much money on his ticket? Alaska native Charles Wohlforth on the flight attendant's face as Chester massages her shoulders) and Willy Wonka.

You'll want to jot down a few weeks ago. Go to about the whole thing--it really is very little to do on this. It's going to fall into the same documentarian feel that you die And your death'll come soon I'll follow your casket In the process of interrogation, Jack has one of degree.
posted by EarBucket at 2:55 PM on September 27, 2008

I would be shocked if they did this. If you go to places like Free Republic, they're completely in love with Palin and blame all of her terrible performances on a hostile "liberal media." Most of them will be voting for Palin's sake and couldn't care less about McCain. It would be a disaster for McCain if she were to pull out, there would be huge number of conservatives staying home in protest on election day.

I agree that this would be a costly move, but think about it. Freepers are the base. The worst they could do is stay home; but a Huckabee type would pull at least some of the religious conservatives back in anyway. The risk they're taking is with the swing vote, which they need desperately to win the election. No one who's not already in the base can pretend that Palin's a good idea. So they risk losing some base if she stays in, but meanwhile, they definitely lose a large segment of the swing vote. If they boot her and put a different religious conservative in, but one with a bit more believability as a potential President, they regain some base and potentially some swing vote.

It's a pretty tough call, and I'm sure the same debate is taking place within the campaign. What's certain is that, so far, Palin isn't doing McCain any favors. She's not really winning him very many votes that he wouldn't otherwise have based on his pro-life stance.

There's always, I guess, the possibility that this is some great setup - that she's acting the fool in front of Couric, but is going to just wow us with a stellar and capable performance in her debate, and bring it home for the Gops.

I mean, weirder things have happened. I heard it rained frogs once.
posted by Miko at 3:14 PM on September 27, 2008

Early voting has already started in some states. So I think it's probably too late for McCain to take a Mulligan on the Palin pick.
posted by darkstar at 3:24 PM on September 27, 2008

She turns around. Not Sarah Palin. She's Celine Dion.

I think both ladies are worth throwing tomaters at.
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 3:45 PM on September 27, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Anyone want to take any bets as to whether she wears her hair up or down during the debates?
posted by sourwookie at 3:48 PM on September 27, 2008

Professor Nash, my dear friend and advisor, has invented a new term: Palindrone. A palindrone occurs when the VP candidate talks at length without making a point. It is also a statement that reads the same way backwards as forwards.
posted by threadbare at 3:57 PM on September 27, 2008 [18 favorites has favorites]

Ah, MarkovFilter:

But it's not like they drink alcohol for the tired and weird use of "douche bag."
posted by Bookhouse at 4:15 PM on September 27, 2008

It is smart enough to make puns!

Q: What is your foreign policy experience?

Alaska that we work together on this. I think that's significant, but even more significant is the role that the example that you just cited, with his warnings two years ago about Fannie and Freddie - that, that's paramount. That's more than a heck of a process that's not allowing that process that progress to be able to commit to never letting that happen again. I agree with the energy independence that I've been working on for these years as the solution or not. You know, there is a very small percentage of Islamic believers who are hell bent on destroying our nation.
posted by Earl the Polliwog at 4:18 PM on September 27, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

My mouth will go on running loose
Like a rampaging elk, or a moose
On and on I shall prate
Until Thursday's debate
When I'm spitted and cooked like a goose.
posted by Wolfdog at 5:07 PM on September 27, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

There's always, I guess, the possibility that this is some great setup - that she's acting the fool in front of Couric, but is going to just wow us with a stellar and capable performance in her debate, and bring it home for the Gops.


Okay, Miko, lay off the Markov filter, already.
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:29 PM on September 27, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

It's interesting that the Palin Markov chain make the same amount of sense as her actual statements do.

In fact, I tried a little test with various Metafilter users to see if the same thing happened with any of us. Perhaps to see if any of us were equally prepared to step in should Palin have to untimely drop out of the race.


Based on this test, I have found a candidate among our ranks.




Astro Zombie 3 for Vice President.
posted by louche mustachio at 6:44 PM on September 27, 2008

From Ed Schultz:

Wow, I remember when he was just the local talk radio guy in Fargo, ND! I had no idea he'd come this far.

She's such an easy target, but I think at some point we're going to have to lay off picking on Palin. All it does is rile up her base. (It's so strange to me that she even HAS a base!)

I'm still having fun with it, though.
posted by amarie at 7:32 PM on September 27, 2008

Here's my take on the whole thing:

Doesn't this seem more appropriate to, say, Sadr City? Thursday night, 18 to 20 years. In other news, restaurant outrages Area Man by refusing to serve ketchup with his filet mignon. Tuff titteh, world's smallest violin, etc.

I would have to carry anything then walking that distance in a sham marriage while lending every last shred of credibility that he has to a pseudoreligion because it claims to be able to cure homosexuality. Whew! Glad he dodged that bullet!
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:34 PM on September 27, 2008

I'm going to stop reading this thread now. All the Markov-generated garden path sentences are making my brain queasy.
posted by Ritchie at 7:45 PM on September 27, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

At that point, for reasons Celine Dion will probably never know, about half of the crowd gathered to see her that day stomped off upon seeing her face.

"You're not Big Papi!"
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 7:47 PM on September 27, 2008

I love it when you call me Big Papi.
posted by Bonzai at 8:09 PM on September 27, 2008

While I'm sure that Obama and Biden have perfectly good plans in the event that we're attacked by, say, terrorists, I doubt they have a plan for witches, or perhaps mooses. This is why Sarah is critical to National Security.
posted by swell at 10:31 PM on September 27, 2008

Narf narf ANWR growr narf RAR no results GROWRRRR rrr NARF 10 years.
posted by Astro Zombie 3 at 11:19 PM on September 27, 2008

That the quote above might lead you to change things....I hope.

The Japanese also rejected a warning and a severely flawed assumption - the level of religious ignorance and apathy of the TV in the first thing that might potentially allow them to modify or mobility. Basically, its all conjecture, and I'd take it to SpoFI if I sound 'superior', I don't expect that most of western europe, Japan maybe not. Did this thread are creepy. Sheesh.
posted by sfts2 at 8:15 AM on September 28, 2008

Tonight's the night I shall be talking about of flu the subject of word association football. This is a technique out a living much used in the practice makes perfect of psychoanalysister and brother and one that has occupied piper the majority rule of my attention squad by the right number one two three four the last five years to the memory. It is quite remarkable baker charlie how much the miller's son this so-called while you were out word association immigrants' problems influences the manner from heaven in which we sleekit cowering tim'rous beasties all-American Speke, the famous explorer.

And the really well that is surprising partner in crime is that a lot and his wife of the lions' feeding time we may be c d e effectively quite unaware of the fact or fiction section of the Watford Public Library that we are even doing it is a far, far better thing that I do now then, now then, what's going onward christian Barnard the famous hearty part of the lettuce now praise famous mental homes for loonies like me.

So on the button, my contention causing all the headaches, is that unless we take into account of Monte Cristo in our thinking George the Fifth this phenomenon the other hand we shall not be able satisfact or Fiction section of the Watford Public Library againily to understand to attention when I'm talking to you and stop laughing about human nature, man's psychological make-up some story the wife'll believe and hence the very meaning of life itselfish bastard, I'll kick him in the balls upon the road.
posted by sixswitch at 10:01 AM on September 28, 2008

Couric and Palin and Orwell
posted by homunculus at 1:04 PM on September 28, 2008

That's a lovely sentiment, but it's going to have an iPod? if not, buy her a super nice Hermes scarf instead. They are impervious to ALL COUNTERMEASURES.

PS you forgot "douchebagocious".

Up until now there was only one debate with his MBA at the time.
posted by brain cloud at 1:17 PM on September 28 [+] [!]
posted by brain cloud at 1:18 PM on September 28, 2008

You know what they all Katie Couric up in Alaska?

Charlie Gibson with lipstick.
posted by sour cream at 1:44 PM on September 28, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Sigh ... she might be gone soon.

Enjoy while we can!

Sarah Palin jokes (about.com)
8 'untrue rumors' about Sarah Palin (innocentenglish.com)
Funny Palin quotes (messageboard.aol)





apologies for copies of previously posted links!
posted by Surfurrus at 1:45 PM on September 28, 2008

And, of course ...
Palinisms (irregulartimes)
posted by Surfurrus at 1:47 PM on September 28, 2008

Somebody should ask Palin if she thinks dinosaurs and humans co-existed.
posted by Effigy2000 at 6:03 PM on September 28, 2008

Not that I and many others could stand there for 8 hours was partly down to the Gimp yet. Those tools really are quite corrupt. This combines rather neatly with two other factors. The first is the economic drain of a feedback loop. Given this, it is a small place, the worst you'll have is a good thing. The fact is that a false dilemma? They are indeed extremely worried that the rules applied "in theory" to the Scientologist people on the edge of town are good for that, as many will already have warrants against them and a wink, and where the instructor explicitly stated that the country has a massive oil crisis, and many others could stand there for 8 hours was partly down to the fact that Saakashvili's family have left rather leads me to pay the $5. May god have mercy on your souls.

Markov ending win.
posted by jaduncan at 3:23 AM on September 29, 2008

"I want to rid not only our democracy, but communities like the idea though of taxpayers being used to talk about, America being the beacon of light and hope for those who were predator lenders also."

You heard it here first, folks.
posted by anthom at 7:28 AM on September 29, 2008

I think people should go to the debate on Thursday with little dinosaur footprints.
posted by Mister_A at 7:41 AM on September 29, 2008

Paris Hilton > Sarah Palin. Wow, I never thought I'd see Paris Hilton on the left side of that equation.

It is not true that the Republicans have demanded a mud-wrestling segment for the Sarah Palin vs. Paris Hilton debate, but a spokesman for the McCain campaign asserted that, "All options remain on the table."
posted by straight at 12:54 PM on September 29, 2008

Hey, is Konolia around? Someone ought to tell her that North Carolina is now in play, specifically because people there don't like Sarah Palin.
posted by delmoi at 2:32 PM on September 29, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

For her next trick her speechwriters will start cribbing from Michel Thomas tapes.

"I like many people and taxpayers am ill with this, but I do not want it that way. I want to know why it is not possible for me to have it this way today. Can we have it this way today?"
posted by so_necessary at 10:55 PM on September 29, 2008

Hey, is Konolia around? Someone ought to tell her that North Carolina is now in play, specifically because people there don't like Sarah Palin.

Looks like she's decamped for redder pastures.
posted by scody at 12:16 AM on September 30, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Hey, InterviewSarahPalin makes the Register
posted by ghost of a past number at 2:24 AM on October 2, 2008