Tiny Silver Death Machine

September 28, 2008 1:04 PM

"In Denver there were vendors nearby when we ate breakfast. Stretch limos outfitted with powerful communications technology stalled in murderous crosstown traffic. Helicopters shine searchlights down at the buildings, the crowd. Chanted rhymes emerge like a collective tribal memory. Allegations are advanced concerning faked pregnancies. "This is one of those moments." There is a meet-and-greet with the guy from the Doobie Brothers.

A voice from the subconscious: Toyota Corola."

Don DeLillo blogs about the Presidential elections for The Onion.
posted by plexi (41 comments total)

Is that a new model or the same as the "Corolla"?
posted by Postroad at 1:12 PM on September 28, 2008

The Toyota Cholera. You'll love it in time.
posted by jimmythefish at 1:19 PM on September 28, 2008 [6 favorites]

I thought it'd be funnier -- maybe doing a good DeLillo parody is harder than it seems
posted by matteo at 1:32 PM on September 28, 2008

I expect better command of verb tense from DeLillo.
posted by rokusan at 1:38 PM on September 28, 2008

This place is turning into Markovfilter.
posted by stavrogin at 1:45 PM on September 28, 2008 [4 favorites]

I don't understand. Is DeLillo really writing these posts or is it some sort of DeLillo parody? Or is he parodying himself? If it's not him, isn't that libel?
posted by solipsophistocracy at 2:07 PM on September 28, 2008

If it's not him, isn't that libel?

Interesting question. If your opinion of DeLillo improves from reading a parody of his writing, is it really libelous?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:31 PM on September 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

Hee! Yeah, DeLillo is a bit of a twunt.
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:43 PM on September 28, 2008

If it's not him, isn't that libel?

Eh, it's not like they're saying, "Don DeLillo [does unspeakable thing] to [objects of taboo or protective care," they're saying, "Don DeLillo has an easily imitated voice that was plenty interesting twenty years ago but has been watered down by just how absurd our culture's actually become." That ain't libel, but it might be depressing.

I bought it for the first blog I read (the linked one), but the one about the Democratic convention opens with the same first words as Underworld, so I'm going with a "not really him." Would love to be proven wrong, though.
posted by thecaddy at 2:44 PM on September 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

If it's not him, isn't that libel?

I believe it's fair use. Same goes for Raymond Carver's Advice Column.
posted by Iridic at 2:50 PM on September 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

I liked him in Twins, where he was like, you know, the twin brother of Arnold Schwarzenegger. (That cracks me up in high concept laughter every time I think of it - I mean, he's short isn't he? And Schwarzenegger isn't.)
Wait a minute, DeLillo. Who's he?
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 3:00 PM on September 28, 2008 [3 favorites]

He played Father Guido Sarducci on SNL, I think.
posted by Iridic at 3:10 PM on September 28, 2008

No, the DeLillo was the car in Back To The Future.
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:24 PM on September 28, 2008

I thought he was the fat guy from Cannonball Run...
posted by doctor_negative at 3:31 PM on September 28, 2008

I love this. Thanks.
posted by the_bone at 3:33 PM on September 28, 2008

Thanks, Iridic, hadn't seen the Raymond Carver Advice Column before. Funny stuff.
posted by Edgewise at 3:37 PM on September 28, 2008

So I guess it's not libel? Is there a word for ascribing writing to someone when it's not actually written by that person? Aplagiarism?
posted by solipsophistocracy at 3:47 PM on September 28, 2008

So I guess it's not libel? Is there a word for ascribing writing to someone when it's not actually written by that person? Aplagiarism?

Yeah, it's called satire.
posted by jimmythefish at 3:49 PM on September 28, 2008

PS...this explains it some.

Consider the context of the publication the story will run in, including whether the publication has a history of satire or parody. The Wall Street Journal should be more careful than Mad Magazine.

Does anyone really think The Onion is ever being sincere?
posted by jimmythefish at 3:53 PM on September 28, 2008

Consider the context of the publication the story will run in, including whether the publication has a history of satire or parody.

I never liked how MSNBC.com would label my more humorous articles as PARODY. Should be more SATIRE than PARODY. Any readers who thought I was doing a real interview with Opus the Penguin should be getting their news from TMZ.com. I need to get back to doing things like where I'd take a chronology of events and add a fictitious punchline to each of them; that was fun, but not for anything like a "News" site. Except The Onion.
posted by wendell at 4:29 PM on September 28, 2008

Does anyone really think The Onion is ever being sincere?

I do. I think they have a viewpoint: that Americans in general are self-obsessed idiots, that a consumerist culture feeds that obsession, that a vapid right-wing media panders to their insecurities, and that there are laughs to be mined in that vast wasteland. DeLillo is ripe for parody somewhere in there.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:41 PM on September 28, 2008 [5 favorites]

I would like Blazecock Pileon to have a sockpuppet account with which he posts nothing but contextualized variations on the above comment. That was brilliant.
posted by Ryvar at 4:52 PM on September 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

Does anyone really think The Onion is ever being sincere?

Yes.
posted by JHarris at 5:24 PM on September 28, 2008

The Toyota Cholera. You'll love it in time.

You were saving that up, weren't you?
posted by turgid dahlia at 5:45 PM on September 28, 2008

I do. I think they have a viewpoint: that Americans in general are self-obsessed idiots, that a consumerist culture feeds that obsession, that a vapid right-wing media panders to their insecurities, and that there are laughs to be mined in that vast wasteland. DeLillo is ripe for parody somewhere in there.

Yeah, but they express this through satire rather than sincerity. Apart from the AV Club, I don't think I've read too much on their site which is sincere. It's all satire.
posted by jimmythefish at 6:01 PM on September 28, 2008

Man, this whole exchange has made me feel dumb. I've been typing dumb things and posting them to the internet. I feel like I make up this demographic that deserves to be satirized. Sorry for bothering you guys with my idiocy.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 6:22 PM on September 28, 2008

You're twenty-five, dude. This is the year you stop being dumb - and it'll happen pretty suddenly, so watch for it.
posted by Ryvar at 6:45 PM on September 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

You never really stop being dumb, you just get better at hiding it.
posted by stavrogin at 6:51 PM on September 28, 2008

I assumed it was DeLillo, but that's probably because both the linked blogs and DeLillo's actual writing just come off to me like somebody trying to parody Tom Wolfe.
posted by Navelgazer at 7:24 PM on September 28, 2008

Its definitely a parody. Some of the images (the stretched limo, chanted rhymes like tribal memory) seem to reference Cosmopolis, while the Toyota Corola bit is a nice parody of the "Panasonic" moment in White Noise. (I remember reading that Panasonic was the original title of the book, but there were obvious legal issues.)
posted by troubles at 8:08 PM on September 28, 2008

I figured this would be a robot by another Japanese carmaker: instead of conducting orchestras, like the Honda Asimo, it would sing Christmas songs. I'm not sure the Toyota Carola would sell, but it would be a great technology showcase.
posted by Malor at 8:23 PM on September 28, 2008

It's pretty easy to imitate someone when you take whole sentences verbatum from their work. I loved White Noise, but I don't really get this.
posted by Citizen Premier at 9:41 PM on September 28, 2008

I just imagine McCain and Medeyev, hanging out in a bunker after having exchanged nukes over some minor caucasian country:

"Who nuked you?"
"You did."
"Who nuked me?"
"You did."
"What point was I trying to make again?
posted by thecaddy at 9:55 PM on September 28, 2008

Isn't it just a comedy of contrast? That is, a bit of amusement designed to point out the difference between literature and journalistic punditry? What if Don DeLillo were a pundit? Could you imagine reading such stuff on your standard op-ed page?
posted by raysmj at 10:25 PM on September 28, 2008

Curiously, I think the only way you could get away with literary writing on the better op-ed pages would be via satire and absurdist wit of a quickly digestible sort. Russell Baker did something to that effect for decades in the NY Times and syndicated columns. A better comparison, given the influence of DeLillo and the whole postmodernist thing, is David Foster Wallace, who wrote hilarious nonfiction pieces in magazines with smaller, well-educated subscriber bases and a certain public affairs slant, most notably Harper's. (He wrote something closer to straight journalism, however, in an occasionally funny piece on McCain for Rolling Stone, a magazine once more known for an acceptance of satirical writing.) DeLillo can be funny, but he's not thought of as a laugh riot, exactly.
posted by raysmj at 10:41 PM on September 28, 2008

This is one of the single least-funny things the Onion has done in recent memory, and the very worst part of their campaign coverage (which, besides this blemish, is fantastic).
posted by Damn That Television at 10:49 PM on September 28, 2008

When I was a college student, I recognized DeLillo once on a train. For some reason, I complimented him on his novel Running Dog, a light light lightweight book that was like a Robert Ludlum pastiche... or something cranked out in three months to fulfill a publishing contract. He seemed flattered at being recognized, and then saddened at being praised for Running Dog.
posted by darth_tedious at 11:18 PM on September 28, 2008

the Toyota Corola bit is a nice parody of the "Panasonic" moment in White Noise.

More the "Toyota Celica" moment in White Noise.
posted by ninebelow at 2:46 AM on September 29, 2008

I sure haven't stopped being dumb. I think maybe I'm starting to get some moments of wisdom, but that could just be me getting even dumber. And anyway, they're crammed in with all the old dumb moments, but I don't actually get any more time, so that's why everything seems to happen so quickly these days.

And I'm only 29! Jesus.
posted by adamdschneider at 7:54 AM on September 29, 2008

Here's one for our resident single issue voter: Life begins when I damn well say it does
posted by chuckdarwin at 8:30 AM on September 29, 2008

I wasn't that impressed with this little Onion parody actually. There are some funny moments where he lifts DeLillo sentences, but mainly it was irritating that the guy who wrote it couldn't spell.
posted by jackbrown at 2:15 PM on September 29, 2008