The greatest Internet drama story ever told

September 30, 2008 5:45 AM

In the history of the Internet, there has probably never been a story of such drama, tragedy, and woe as that of Chris-chan.

Chris-chan (aka Christian Chandler, CWC, Sonichu) is the creator of the original character (DO NOT STEAL) Sonichu. Notably though he is on a "love quest" to find a "boyfriend-free girl" to find a "Sweetheart to build from the Ground-Up" (NSFW) to give birth to his "God-ordained" daughter Crystal Weston Chandler. Unfortunately he finds his love quest constantly thwarted by the forces of Mary Lee Walsh and her Jerkops..

Never before has someone responded to Anonymous' trolling by adding fuel to the fire by uploading Rule 34 images of his characters (NSFW), including an image of himself fingering his best female friend (NSFW). Despite having his nude images posted for the world to see, along with his very personal e-mails (NSFW), audio conversations with a troll posing as his "girlfriend"(NSFW), and getting trolled hard, he is keep on keepin' on.

Chris shows so many levels of complexity unseen in Internet drama. We see his frustration as being a "high functioning autistic virgin with rage". However, in his e-mails, conversations, and videos we find streaks of homophobia, racism, and misogyny (as Chris describes ejaculating in his lover's mouth during oral sex as his "comeuppance"). Anonymous is not being cruel to Chris as many are trying to help.

posted by champthom (12 comments total)

This is deserving of over 9000 deletions.
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 5:48 AM on September 30, 2008 [1 favorite]

God that's a lot of FPP about... uh... uh...
posted by From Bklyn at 5:50 AM on September 30, 2008

Chris is straight-up retarded, so while this is all pretty fascinating, it's a little too cruel to be lulzy.
posted by nicolas léonard sadi carnot at 5:55 AM on September 30, 2008

Also, let20me ask you, considering the 50/50 chance of you having watched "Family Guy" or not. How do you feel about Megan Marie Griffin? Honestly, in my humble opinion, I meant what I said about Megan Marie Griffin. She is NOT ugly; she has always been a beautiful catch in my eyes. I just do not understand how anyone would see Megan as ugly, and I feel it is very pitiful that Seth McFarline would make her the "punching bag" of most everyone else on the show, when clearly she does not deserve such torturous punishment.

This is amazing.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 5:56 AM on September 30, 2008

Have we really expired the best of the web and are now starting with the worst of the web, working our way up again?
posted by splice at 5:57 AM on September 30, 2008

Anonymous is not being cruel to Chris

No, I think you'll find Anonymous is being cruel to x for all values of x.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 6:01 AM on September 30, 2008 [2 favorites]

Bullying autistic people is a sport now? I don't know who I feel more sorry for, Chris himself, or the people who seemingly spend hours and hours of their life harassing him. Just sad.
posted by afx237vi at 6:01 AM on September 30, 2008

This is what we get for not deleting dancefloor dave.
posted by Hildegarde at 6:03 AM on September 30, 2008

dancefloor dale?
posted by Hildegarde at 6:03 AM on September 30, 2008

isn't this why metafilter has moderators ?
posted by silence at 6:08 AM on September 30, 2008

Here is an unrelated video and an MP3.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 6:11 AM on September 30, 2008

Anonymous is not being cruel to Chris as many are trying to help.

Accurately describing the ways in which someone is fucked up is not the same thing as trying to help him.
posted by 23skidoo at 6:12 AM on September 30, 2008