Comments on: Man uses craigslist to form bank robbery plot

Man uses craigslist to form bank robbery plot

fiercekitten — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 15:50:30 -0800

Escapes in inner tube in "the slowest getaway ever" .

According to The Seattle Times, the man "may have recruited a host of unwitting decoys through a Craigslist ad." Even better, he got away using a inner tube. I guess the scuba escape just had to be outdone.

By: justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow

justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 16:34:12 -0800

I suspect he was thrashing about in the water trying to make the best speed possible, and that's a waste of a perfectly good inner tube. I'd like to picture him holding a bag of cash in one hand and a mai tai in the other, drifting peacefully away. Although that might actually be more disturbing -- that he could go so quickly from violent armed robbery to apparent tranquility. He does get bonus points for the craigslist henchmen. I had no idea it was so easy to get yourself some goons. Supervillainy awaits!

By: dhartung

dhartung — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 16:35:34 -0800

Wow, it happened in broad daylight, too.

By: stavrogin

stavrogin — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 16:37:45 -0800

I would have made additional ads for bikers, cops, indians and sailors.

By: Dumsnill

Dumsnill — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 16:38:04 -0800

As the mefi people gathered inside the post within the proper attire, however...

By: stavrogin

stavrogin — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 16:38:19 -0800

I also would have robbed a YMCA, instead.

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 16:42:00 -0800

I'm sure you would have found many ways to have a good time.

By: mwhybark

mwhybark — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 16:55:37 -0800

(TV and radio have been reporting that the cops are downplaying the innertube thing now, but the gaggle of orange-vested craigslisters - bankrobbery by flashmob - appears accurate)

By: BrotherCaine

BrotherCaine — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 17:00:35 -0800

2008 'Luthor Award' nominee. I always thought that the first criminal use of a flashmob was going to be gathering a larger crowd of victims for a terrorist bombing.

By: tkchrist

tkchrist — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 17:05:02 -0800

My god. Please tell me this is some kind of viral? How can this possibly be real and so ingeniously simple? Here I am spending the last twenty five years building and army of atomic monkey robots and here this guy uses inflatable rubber.

By: DU

DU — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 17:05:30 -0800

My fellow honorable Represenatives, THIS is why the Internet must be shut off. BROADCAST MESSAGE FROM AL GORE THE INTERNET WILL BE SHUTTING DOWN IN 30 SECONDS....

By: netbros

netbros — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 17:13:54 -0800

A man charges into a bank wearing a ski mask and wielding a handgun. He shouts, "This is a robbery - everyone get on the floor!" and proceeds to empty the cash drawers. As he runs toward the door with the loot, a brave customer yanks off his mask. The robber immediately shoots the customer in the head and shouts, "Did anybody else here see my face?" "Did anybody else see my face?" he shouts again, waving his gun around. There is silence for a few seconds before an elderly male voice is heard from a distant corner... "I think my missus in the red dress caught a glimpse..."

By: Durn Bronzefist

Durn Bronzefist — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 17:19:21 -0800

That story is beautiful. That said, I hope he brought along some cans of cola for the sharks.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 17:26:38 -0800

According to witnesses, the man grabbed the money and ran about 100 yards to Woods Creek, Willis said. Police believe the man jumped into an inner tube and floated westbound in the direction of the nearby Skykomish River. One witness claims to have seen the man pull out of the river a few miles downstream and climb into a small loader driven by an accomplice disguised as a scarecrow. The robber was alleged to have greeted his accomplice with the phrase, "Can we spend it?" To which the scarecrow responded, "Yes we can!"

By: dirigibleman

dirigibleman — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 17:37:02 -0800

And then he punched a shark.

By: mullingitover

mullingitover — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 17:39:57 -0800

This post is missing the 'hero' and 'awesome' tags. Also, mad props to the northwest for breeding such creative people. This is the best heist since D. B. Cooper.

By: DU

DU — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 17:44:06 -0800

In reality, the guy in the inner tube was actually a decoy. The real thief was....THE SECURITY GUARD! *fade to credits*

By: fiercekitten

fiercekitten — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 17:46:18 -0800

Done and done!

By: mwhybark

mwhybark — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 18:24:46 -0800

Don't let's forget about Scott Scurlock, y'all (or his sad end). Time was, he was my pal Anne's neighbor, down Olywa way. She claims to have sung "Jesse James" with him, but late nights and banjos can do that to body down in the pines.

By: cjorgensen

cjorgensen — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 18:55:50 -0800

Am I bad person if I hope he gets ay with it?

By: camcgee

camcgee — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 19:02:44 -0800

I was thinking of posting this but wasn't sure there was enough reportage to warrant it ... I'm glad it got posted anyway.

By: TheOnlyCoolTim

TheOnlyCoolTim — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 19:27:30 -0800

Am I bad person if I hope he gets ay with it? It's just a small personal bailout, really.

By: fiercekitten

fiercekitten — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 19:30:33 -0800

I knew I had to post it when I read it on Ars. It was just too strange, especially when the Times referenced the scuba guy.

By: Devils Rancher

Devils Rancher — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 20:03:55 -0800

Well which is it young fella? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? Mean to say, iffen I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And iffen I drop, I'm a gonna be in motion.

By: Servo5678

Servo5678 — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 20:10:53 -0800

Why so serious?

By: P.o.B.

P.o.B. — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 20:41:35 -0800

From everything I've heard Banks get robbed a bit more often than I had initially realized. A friend of mine, who was a bank teller, was robbed three times in the span of about a year and a half. She has spent quite a bit of time dealing with PTSD since.

By: Kattullus

Kattullus — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 21:41:11 -0800

Yeah, I have to say that I have a hard time not wishing that the guy gets away with it. What an awesome heist.

By: dejah420

dejah420 — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 22:05:22 -0800

P.o.B said: From everything I've heard Banks get robbed a bit more often than I had initially realized. I know, I didn't realize that either until last week when a local grocery store bank branch (I dunno if that's a Southern USian thing, but down here, our supermarkets will often have a bank branch of one of the national bank chains like Wells or BofA), got robbed. It barely made the Dallas paper. I wouldn't have known about it at all if I hadn't had a google widget for news near my zip code. Then I went and looked up how often it happens, and I was pretty surprised. As to this guy? Flash mob of unwitting minions...check. Nobody got seriously hurt...check. Escaped by tubing down a river...the national sport of my university....check. Bob, we have a winnah!

By: mediareport

mediareport — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 05:24:41 -0800

Nobody got seriously hurt...check. Nobody got *permanently* hurt, you mean. Pepper spray is nothing if not serious. Looks like the Craigslist stunt was more stupid than cute, really, given the email trail. It'll be interesting to see how the thief tried to cover his computer tracks, and if it works, but the AP story has an FBI agent saying the tactic doesn't seem to have confused anyone: A similar ploy was used in the 1999 movie "The Thomas Crown Affair," in which an art thief wearing a trench coat and bowler hat makes off with a priceless masterpiece as museum security guards are distracted by several lookalikes the crook hired. Burroughs said the tactic failed to cause similar confusion at the scene Tuesday. "Was it really necessary? Did it help the guy out? I don't think so," she said. And the whole thing was watched by a councilman from a building across the street, who not only wasn't distracted by the decoys but actually ran after him: Seeing him run toward his office, Ruth -- who was on the phone with 911 by then -- gave chase, watching the man toss off his hat, revealing short dark hair underneath. He lost him as the man entered the woods leading to the creek. "Tasseled loafers, I guess, aren't the best in dirt and wet grass, anyways," Ruth said of his own footwear.

By: cmyr

cmyr — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 07:34:37 -0800

It turns out that the bag he grabbed actually contained mortgage-backed securities.

By: StickyCarpet

StickyCarpet — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 11:48:34 -0800

Gotti reigned for six years as the head of New York's Gambino crime family, promoting himself to the position according to normal mafia guidelines by assassinating his predecessor, Paul "Big Paulie" Castellano. It was a testament to his passion for the Hollywood myth of organised crime in America that he arranged for the killing to be carried out by a gang of hitmen in matching trenchcoats who surprised Castellano as he left a Manhattan steakhouse. It's not just that he would hide in the group, but rather it shows a savvy understanding of human perception, where seeing an unusual group with a single attribute will obstruct the retention of differentiating details. Imagine the fun a defense attorney could have with the "what did he look like?," then calling each of the dummies and asking what they were wearing.

By: astroworm

astroworm — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 17:34:21 -0800

Did the whole genius plan hit him all at once? Or did it build, i.e. "I need to rob a bank. How can I disguise myself? Hmmm. I know! Camouflage! What group of people would most likely to come to a specific time and place thru a craigslist ad? English teachers? Donkey handlers? I know! Construction workers! Now all I need is an escape vehicle. Hmmm. Sigh. Errrrr. Ooooo! I know! An INNER TUBE! Silent, leaves no scent, comfortable, stylish, and unexpected. Brilliant!"