Comments on: Now we need to implement this for Metafilter comments.

Now we need to implement this for Metafilter comments.

mattholomew — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:11:28 -0800

Google rolls out Mail Goggles, designed to prevent drunk or otherwise impaired emailing by forcing you to answer basic math questions. And no, it's not April 1st.

By: cjorgensen

cjorgensen — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:14:02 -0800

I thought a high blood alcohol count was required before posting.

By: rokusan

rokusan — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:14:42 -0800

Yeah, if we ever block drunk MeFi use, my posting history will shrivel up to nothing.

By: mitzyjalapeno

mitzyjalapeno — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:18:17 -0800

I suck at math and excel in language. Does this mean I can no longer email my friends with snarky, elitist comments?

By: cimbrog

cimbrog — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:21:12 -0800

You have got to be kidding me. That is the stupadits thing ever.

By: cimbrog

cimbrog — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:21:40 -0800

uh - I mean stupidest. I should have waited before posting that.

By: filthy light thief

filthy light thief — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:22:52 -0800

Don't worry, someone will make a bot to bypass these in no time. I hope it'll be called gWingman, or iDrinkBuddy.

By: mattholomew

mattholomew — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:23:18 -0800

Countdown to Palin/Yahoo Mail joke in 5...4...3..

By: Auden

Auden — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:23:58 -0800

An app like this for cellphones which would verbally ask you sobriety test questions before dialing, say, your ex's number would be awesome.

By: Wolfdog

Wolfdog — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:24:42 -0800

Consider the Lie Algebra of a semisimple algebraic group over a field of characteristic p, where p is strictly greater than the Coxeter number. Answer the following simple questions about the derived category of D-modules to continue...

By: fearfulsymmetry

fearfulsymmetry — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:25:29 -0800

I think I'd have to drunk myself to the point of unconsciousness before I couldn't do basic maths (or at least cut and paste it into a calculator/google itself to solve it for for me)

By: longsleeves

longsleeves — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:25:33 -0800

New drunk test: rattle off pi to twenty digits. And no, you're not allowed to sing it.

By: mattholomew

mattholomew — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:25:53 -0800

Don't worry, someone will make a bot to bypass these in no time. I hope it'll be called gWingman, or iDrinkBuddy. For pure comedy value I prefer the idea of former WoW gold farmers getting paid to solve the problems and translate the drunken ramblings into coherence.

By: mandal

mandal — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:26:11 -0800

Great – now they want to know about my drinking habits too.

By: kjh

kjh — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:26:45 -0800

Positively surreal.

By: MrVisible

MrVisible — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:31:14 -0800

If you enable this feature, Google automatically sends you an email saying "You have a problem." And helpfully includes 2,870,000 links to Alcoholics Anonymous sites.

By: solipsophistocracy

solipsophistocracy — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:32:02 -0800

Surely if you can do basic math problems then you have a solid command of what is and is not socially appropriate when it comes to late night email.

By: griphus

griphus — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:32:16 -0800

An app like this for cellphones which would verbally ask you sobriety test questions before dialing, say, your ex's number would be awesome. In the future, you'd just check for vascular dilation by taking a picture of your face with the phone's built-in 20 megapixel, liquid-lens camera.

By: Space Kitty

Space Kitty — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:35:29 -0800

Wait, this isn't a joke? I got an email forward this morning and thought somebody was just trying to be clever...

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:35:54 -0800

Oh...uh... sorry , man.

By: notsnot

notsnot — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:43:53 -0800

First time one of my high-school friends got rip-roaring drunk, he spouted trig identities and did calc - integrals, even - in his head. Right up to a minute before he filled the hallway with puke. And started playing slip'n'slide in it.

By: burnmp3s

burnmp3s — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:45:01 -0800

Surely if you can do basic math problems then you have a solid command of what is and is not socially appropriate when it comes to late night email Not really. Drinking seems to lower inhibitions more than it lowers other abilities such as math skills, and at least for me it never lowers my math skills enough that I would fail this. I've been able to do relatively complicated mental math around calculating tips and splitting bills after a significant amount of drinking, for example. A test that measured reflexes and/or coordination would probably be more effective.

By: Wolfdog

Wolfdog — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:46:40 -0800

How does it affect the ability to perceive sarcasm, do you think?

By: Sys Rq

Sys Rq — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:48:29 -0800

In totally unrelated news, all outgoing correspondence from the White House will now be sent via mail, fax, or telegram.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:50:25 -0800

If there was some way to prevent me from looking at my outgoing emails when I'm high, I would appreciate it, because, man, I look at them and think, jeez, am I EVER AN IDIOT. Sober, the emails seem perfectly innocuous.

By: Rafaelloello

Rafaelloello — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:57:52 -0800

If you're emailing a mathematical proof will it ask you literary or philosophical questions instead? There should also be an option to disable calculator during the hours that Mail Goggles runs.

By: mkb

mkb — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:58:28 -0800

The last time I got drunk enough to embarrass myself, I successfully had a conversation about polyrhythms. I don't remember any of the content, but I do remember how amazed I was that I could still pronounce polyrhythm. I am pretty sure I can still do arithmetic drunk, but I have a very hard time calculating the proper tip for a restaurant bill without a pen and paper.

By: Rafaelloello

Rafaelloello — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:59:30 -0800

New drunk test: rattle off pi to twenty digits. And no, you're not allowed to sing it. I can only do nine, because that's all my HP-21 used to go up to. 3.141592654

By: shakespeherian

shakespeherian — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:00:36 -0800

Drinking seems to lower inhibitions more than it lowers other abilities such as math skills, Yeah, I had a friend in college who, when drunk, would only ever talk about two things: Thomas Aquinas's epistemology... and his fiancee's hymen.

By: brundlefly

brundlefly — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:01:32 -0800

Don't worry, someone will make a bot to bypass these in no time. But those are easily blockable with a Voight-Kampff test.

By: Rafaelloello

Rafaelloello — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:05:51 -0800

Ohh!! How about something that still lets you send whatever you want, but purges it and all responses from your mailbox? That way I could still be my same stupid self, I would just never be embarrassed the next day.

By: ThePinkSuperhero

ThePinkSuperhero — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:09:56 -0800

I didn't believe this was real, but I looked in my settings, and there it was- a new tab for "Labs". I'm not in need of the Google Goggles, but there are a lot of other nifty things I was able to implement (mark read button, ability to quote selected text in e-mail replies, ability to set beginning and end dates for vacation auto-responder).

By: mandal

mandal — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:10:20 -0800

Is is wrong that I'd love to see this implemented 24/7 for Youtube comments?

By: Navelgazer

Navelgazer — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:13:21 -0800

I believe this FPP was supposed to go here.

By: LordSludge

LordSludge — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:14:52 -0800

An app like this for cellphones which would verbally ask you sobriety test questions before dialing, say, your ex's number would be awesome. When you break up w/ somebody, just delete their number. Shatty memory trumps drunken loneliness everytime.

By: inigo2

inigo2 — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:23:07 -0800

Surely if you can do basic math problems then you have a solid command of what is and is not socially appropriate when it comes to late night email. Well, I think it's just supposed to make you stop what you're doing for a minute, which is often all you need to realize that you shouldn't really send that email.

By: misha

misha — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:23:54 -0800

Instead of taking me off the hook when I want to email something I shouldn't, google needs to provide me with an alibi. "What? No, of course I didn't write that crap about how I'm lost without you." "No, I don't care what it says, I didn't send it!" "Look, I couldn't have written it, I was busy closing a multimillion-dollar deal over the right to use my advanced cable system in the space elevator at the time. Here's a letter from that Japanese company on official corporate stationery attesting to the fact." That would be worth it.

By: caddis

caddis — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:26:10 -0800

Metafilter needs this.

By: odinsdream

odinsdream — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:28:29 -0800

Google should force people to do this all the time. It may improve general math skills. True story: The gas station nearest my house only takes prepayment. Even though I usually want to fill the car up I now have to guess how much will fit. I prefer to pay for a certain number of gallons since I know how much my car holds. Apparently the system they use only lets them plug in a dollar amount cutoff, not a gallon cutoff. Since I've been met with ridiculous stares when previously asking for 12 or 13 gallons, I figured this time I'd make it easy: Me: Hello, I would like 10 gallons of diesel, please. Attendant: How much? Me: 10 gallons. * Attendant gets a calculator and a minute later figures out that $4.51*10 = $45.10

By: K'an

K'an — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:29:26 -0800

How about a RMF/Hotornot type "Would I do this person right now?" challenge, where you have previously calibrated all of the photos multiple times while sober, acceptably drunk, and inacceptably drunk? That would work better for me, at least, not only because I'm fairly math-illiterate, but because while drunk, I'd be far more cooperative with pretty faces than with freaking math homework.

By: caddis

caddis — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:37:00 -0800

Another feature I never knew they had: Email Addict by Michael D Lets you take a break from email and chat by blocking the screen for fifteen minutes and making you invisible in chat.

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:42:43 -0800

Where's the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button?

By: quin

quin — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:56:38 -0800

caddis : Metafilter needs this. I made my feelings on this subject clear just yesterday. I'm telling you, drunk.mefi; where people could comment in threads, and it would only be visible to others on the subsite, well, it would be huge. I envision it as a sort of textual MST3K but with more alcohol fueled misspellings and tangential derails. As to Mail Goggles? It's goofy and kind of cute, though I think they would be smart to have a bunch of different kinds of tests other than basic math, because as indicated above, that's not a barrier to drunken entry for some (and difficult for some of us, even when sober.)

By: mecran01

mecran01 — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:04:51 -0800

Maverick

By: caddis

caddis — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:04:52 -0800

Really, I was just kidding, although not that there are not a few comments I regret making over the years.

By: exogenous

exogenous — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:12:21 -0800

The etymology is all screwed up. Beer Goggles should reformat your incoming email to make it more attractive. Result: "Wow, by helping this person recover his rightful inheritance I can earn thousands!"

By: theManRoom

theManRoom — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:13:28 -0800

Now they need some kind of arm cuff that figures-out your blood pressure so you don't mail in a blind rage.

By: lysdexic

lysdexic — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:14:16 -0800

Wonder if that would work for Tracy Ullman?

By: SpiffyRob

SpiffyRob — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:25:51 -0800

A FRIEND OF MINE one time woke up in his bed with little memory of the later stages of his evening. There was a receipt in his pocket from the bar he had been patronizing. He was impressed by three things that he had, apparently, been able to do despite being blacked out: 1. He had remembered to close his tab. 2. He had correctly calculated a generous tip and added it to his total. 3. He had traveled through time and kidnapped a citizen of the future, who signed his name not with a traditional autograph, but rather a complex series of lines and swirls the likes of which have not yet been accepted by mankind as proof of identification, largely because they create symbols which seem to be not of this world. An untrained eye might view them as "scribbles." So, yeah, I don't think this would stop my friend.

By: cortex

cortex — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:45:04 -0800

What we need to do is apply this as a secondary captcha on the mefi contact form.

By: stupidsexyFlanders

stupidsexyFlanders — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:57:34 -0800

Stupid idea. Gmail should just hold the email for 12 hours, and then email it back to you with a big fat button that staring you right in your fat puffy hangover face asking you if you want to go ahead and send this for reals.

By: ricochet biscuit

ricochet biscuit — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:59:29 -0800

In common with a few others, I would be happy to see this implemented all the time. But I am an arithmetic snob. Last evening I found myself in a grocery store just off the local university campus behind a pair of twentyish student types who had, glory be, only five items between them. After the purchases were rung up by the cashier, also twentyish, the pair ahead asked "Can we each pay half?" One produced a debit card and the other a credit card*. The task of dividing $13.44 by two proved beyond the competencies of any of the three of them, and a manager or some other grown-up was eventually summoned to help. I worry that in thirty years I will be in a hospital bed with tubes running into my veins and these will be the people measuring out my dosages. * Seemingly the notion of one paying the whole amount and being reimbursed by the other for half later was not an option. Either that or neither had sufficient funds available by card to be sure of being able to pay for a few pieces of fresh fruit and a carton of yogurt.

By: exogenous

exogenous — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:30:45 -0800

But could the checker identify a portobello mushroom?

By: Dormant Gorilla

Dormant Gorilla — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:30:57 -0800

I really could have used this in college when I was in the habit of stumbling, wasted, into the computer lab and sending my parents what I thought was a perfectly touch-typed email, except that I'd shifted my fingers one key to the right and didn't bother to READ it before sending, so they got about three paragraphs of 'dp,ryjomh yjsy ,idy jsbr ;pplrf dp,ryjomh ;olr yjod nrvsidr hpf gptnof o svyis;;u vjrvl yjr r,so; nrgptr gotomh oy pgg omyp yjr royjrt/ The downside is I can barely subtract even when sober. So I might have some problems here.

By: ThePinkSuperhero

ThePinkSuperhero — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 15:10:18 -0800

When eBay builds something to keep, err, people, random people, from drunk bidding, I hope someone lets me, err, I mean people, know.

By: sycophant

sycophant — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 15:18:10 -0800

It seems like it would be helpful to be able to add specific address to it's watch list, and perhaps not the maths questions, but more like: "Are you sure you want to send that?" "Really?" "Think about it for a second, really sure?" "Okay buddy, don't say I didn't warn you!"

By: rokusan

rokusan — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 15:30:40 -0800

I really could have used this in college when I was in the habit of stumbling, wasted, into the computer lab and sending my parents what I thought was a perfectly touch-typed email, Sysw~ U gCW RIRkkt sibw rgr~

By: Joey Michaels

Joey Michaels — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 15:51:12 -0800

This would permanently prevent me from using e-mail for the rest of my life - and I don't drink. Sign me up!

By: scabrous

scabrous — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 16:22:13 -0800

Finally, someone's bailing out Main Street from its real problems.

By: QIbHom

QIbHom — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 16:25:11 -0800

When did google start recruiting from Sigma Bada Idear?

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 16:44:06 -0800

I worry that in thirty years I will be in a hospital bed with tubes running into my veins and these will be the people measuring out my dosages. OTOH, I have a friend here in his 20s who can compute in decimal, octal and hex in his head. Then again, he's a programmer. My mom, on the other hand, cannot do basic math without a calculator, and she's in her late 60s. She's always been like that, and to this day doesn't really do email, because she has a mental block about computers and math. She's certainly not stupid, as she has a Masters + 45 and has taught literature for 40 years. Fret not. Things have always been so.

By: DU

DU — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 18:07:00 -0800

I have a friend here in his 20s who can compute in decimal...in his head Whoa. Can you ask him with 1 times 1 is in decimal?

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 19:12:48 -0800

Whoa. Can you ask him with 1 times 1 is in decimal? Myself, I'm not really a math person. I leave that to programmers and smartasses on the Internet.

By: autodidact

autodidact — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 19:42:45 -0800

I need this.

By: lacol

lacol — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 02:53:14 -0800

hey i write my best emails when im drunk. BOOOOOOO

By: Rhaomi

Rhaomi — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 16:59:28 -0800

mandal: "Is is wrong that I'd love to see this implemented 24/7 for Youtube comments?" It's not quite the same, but...

By: SpaWorldOnline

SpaWorldOnline — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 05:33:32 -0800

If only they did this on your mobile phone - then you could avoid drunken calls to/from ex girlfriends at 2am... shibrilliant idea!

By: exogenous

exogenous — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 14:44:07 -0800

Putting it to the test