Comments on: Waiting on you hand and foot

Waiting on you hand and foot

Secret Life of Gravy — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:12:42 -0800

A restaurant in Japan employs Monkey Waiters. They're not the worst waiters in the world and you only have to tip them with edamame.

By: Secret Life of Gravy

Secret Life of Gravy — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:16:45 -0800

If you like the idea of eating with monkeys, the Singapore zoo offers Breakfast With An Orang-Utan

By: rokusan

rokusan — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:18:36 -0800

Needs more typewriters.

By: any portmanteau in a storm

any portmanteau in a storm — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:22:34 -0800

Wow. Monkeys in Japan get better tips than humans. Now I wonder how the inevitable robot waiters will fare.

By: Skeptic

Skeptic — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:23:24 -0800

What the article doesn't say is that the monkeys also had day jobs in the financial markets.

By: dhammond

dhammond — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:24:04 -0800

Chimpanzee that!

By: Nattie

Nattie — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:28:57 -0800

This is what the internet is for!

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:31:44 -0800

This is what macaques are for!

By: Fuzzy Monster

Fuzzy Monster — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:35:04 -0800

Does this restaurant serve monkey brains? Because that would be... wrong. "Good job, monkey waiter. Now bring the brains of that other monkey waiter and I'll give you a shiny new soybean."

By: everichon

everichon — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:38:25 -0800

So. Cool. Until the monkeys start blogging and it all blows up in the owner's face.

By: geoff.

geoff. — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:39:00 -0800

Is there a home version of that towel warmer? I want one.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:41:28 -0800

I can't wait to eat that monkey.

By: SaintCynr

SaintCynr — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:45:37 -0800

I think I saw a movie about this. I think it ends badly.

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:50:08 -0800

"Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!"

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:50:30 -0800

Great, now in addition to other people trying to eat it I have to fight the monkeys for edamame.

By: adipocere

adipocere — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:52:21 -0800

Monkey waiters serving monkey brains wouldn't be wrong so much as it would be a postmodern installation piece deconstructing the role of the working class consumer in the service industry and their Stockholm Syndrome-reminiscent relationship to the moneyed (if not monkeyed) overclass, with overtones of the revulsion felt by Joe Sixpack (of Bananas) at the loss of central importance to the universe his species (and by extension, the "plight" of impoverished white rural males) faces as direct challenges instigated by scientists such as Galileo and Darwin ... ... well, that and delicious.

By: Abiezer

Abiezer — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:54:09 -0800

They hang them in Hartlepool, you know.

By: borkencode

borkencode — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:59:59 -0800

So they work for beans?

By: Bitter soylent

Bitter soylent — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:05:46 -0800

The food must be pretty bad for the monkeys not to eat off the customer's plates.

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:07:36 -0800

bad dates.

By: mandal

mandal — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:12:42 -0800

...ever since he had to pass that cue ball he measures everything first.

By: dydecker

dydecker — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:13:57 -0800

and you only have to tip them with edamame. there is no tipping in Japan.

By: boomcha76

boomcha76 — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:17:39 -0800

I just found my next vacation spot.

By: [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST]

[NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:17:52 -0800

This depresses me so much. To this day I STILL have stress nightmares about being a waiter, I would never want that inflicted on anything as carefree and innocent as a monkey.

By: Space Kitty

Space Kitty — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:18:58 -0800

WANT. Can you imagine a monkey waiting on you at happy hour?! Those little paws! The squeaking! The shenanigans! Now if they could just get the people to dress like ninjas, we could finally replace Talk Like a Pirate Day...

By: Elmore

Elmore — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:20:04 -0800

Those damn dirty apes, they'll have to pry the edamame from my cold dead hand.

By: Durn Bronzefist

Durn Bronzefist — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:21:05 -0800

I love Japan. I hate Japan. I love Japan. I hate Japan. A restaurant in Japan employs Monkey Waiters - I love Japan.

By: poq

poq — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:30:42 -0800

I slid into the booth and asked for a cold Heineken, but the waiter just stared at me uncomprehendingly. "HEIN-EH-KENN", I repeated, in slow, cajoling tones, tones used to speak to a child. The waiter continued his blank gaze. He didn't understand my accent. Damn. "Beer." He ambled off into the back room, pausing briefly to adjust his apron with his disconcertingly babylike hands. It had started with the waiters, of course, and before long the monkeys were being trained to take up many of humanity's menial jobs: collecting our garbage, mowing our lawns, folding clothes at the Gap. Monkeys were starting to operate taxis now, despite the protests from the cab driver unions, and a couple monkeys were writing Shakespearean sonnets. Real Shakespeare, you know, with the iambic pentameter and the antiquated English. Last year, a monkey did my taxes. Most of us, except maybe the cabbies, welcomed the monkeys. We'd have all the free time we wanted -- kind of like the Jetsons, only with chimps doing all the work instead of robots. The waiter returned with a cold Asahi Dry, and I tossed a few edamame pods on the table, which he swept into a pocket. So what do I do these days? I'm a monkey trainer. Specializing in waiters. Takes about three years before a monkey's good enough to work in the industry. Chimps learn by watching, and my job is to show them what a good waiter does. I work ten to twelve hours a day in a fake restaurant, serving fake food from a fake kitchen to fake people. The monkeys sit behind a thick wall of glass and watch me. I polish the glasses. I take fake orders. I set the table. I deliver the food. I work ten to twelve hours a day, six days a week. Just like a goddamned monkey.

By: aerotive

aerotive — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:31:49 -0800

Yeah laugh it up, till these monkey-waiters join up with dolphin-busboys. We will all rue this day.

By: The Card Cheat

The Card Cheat — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:34:02 -0800

> Wow. Monkeys in Japan get better tips than humans. > There is no tipping in Japan. This isn't going to turn into another tipping thread, is it?

By: brundlefly

brundlefly — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:35:18 -0800

I am shocked and disturbed that this has not been posted to MonkeyFilter yet.

By: brundlefly

brundlefly — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:35:57 -0800

there is no tipping in Japan. In China, however...

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:36:56 -0800

Taiping is actually in china.

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:37:23 -0800

nuts

By: solipsophistocracy

solipsophistocracy — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:39:59 -0800

Monkey hostess clubs are the next step.

By: Potomac Avenue

Potomac Avenue — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:40:28 -0800

Can they serve DELICIOUS wine for the older kids? Oh boy!

By: friendlyjuan

friendlyjuan — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:45:47 -0800

mandal, I don't know that many jokes, but that one is perhaps my favorite. Classic stuff. As the for the monkey waiters, do you just point at things that you want or do they understand speech? How does one order? I'm baffled.

By: filthy light thief

filthy light thief — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:54:40 -0800

Taking this to the dry realms of reality: could this ever really move beyond an amusing attraction? If a monkey can only work 2 hours a day ("[t]he monkeys work in shifts of up to two hours a day due to Japanese animal rights regulations"), you'd have to "hire" more a lot more monkeys than people, and those "off-duty" monkeys would have to stay somewhere while not working. It'd just be a lot easier to hire children in monkey suits.

By: teabag

teabag — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:55:38 -0800

Fish aren't allowed to eat the crap off the bottom of your feet due to sanitation and monkeys are allowed to serve hot towels and sake? There is no justice in the animal kingdom.

By: The Man from Lardfork

The Man from Lardfork — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:58:39 -0800

I always imagine Japan being like a Twilight Zone version of Nerd Heaven. I'd get there and there'd be monkey waiters and comics everywhere and speedy internet and movies about cowboy samurai and I'd run around happily. "Hooray! It's everything I've always wanted in one giant island!" Then the tentacle rape and six-day work weeks would start.

By: fatehunter

fatehunter — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:23:56 -0800

"Animals serving humans is just grotesque, as is whale hunting, Japan!" This reply to the blog post confuses me. Does having animals serve humans demean the animals or the humans? How does the practice compare to killing animals for food?

By: batmonkey

batmonkey — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:24:32 -0800

I dunno. I'm supremely conflicted in my feelings about this, mostly because of the human inclination to take advantage in a way that's detrimental to whatever they're taking advantage of and my strong feelings about consent. And this is something a human could do, so there's the erosion of jobs thing in my head, too. Based on the collars around the monkey's necks, I'm not entirely certain they want to be doing this. And he's now specifically raising baby monkeys to join the team. Maybe he's a nice guy and the rules govern better treatment for them, but once he's proven it can be done, others will do it, too, and they may not be as observant of the rules. We already have human slavery/trafficking despite rules in just about every nation prohibiting it. If we can't control the flow of fully recognised sentient beings with the ability to share their opinions, how would the government control everyone who wanted cheap/compliant help that won't tell if you beat them up? I seriously dunno how I feel. I want to like this so bad for so many reasons. I just don't have much faith in humanity to keep things fair and, perhaps ironically, humane.

By: avoision

avoision — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:29:31 -0800

This makes good, financial sense to me. There'll be one at first. But he'll train others.

By: KokuRyu

KokuRyu — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:32:29 -0800

It's sort of weird because *no one* likes monkeys in Japan. They are relatively common enough (but not in the big cities) that they're not particularly exotic. In some places, they're little more than dangerous pests. Ask any kid in Japan if they would want a pet monkey, and the answer would be an emphatic "NO". Which is why this restaurant is a little weird. I also kind of wonder what's going to happen to the monkey waiter when it gets a little older and less easier to control. Destined for a life in a dank cage, I suspect.

By: dydecker

dydecker — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:40:59 -0800

I always imagine Japan being like a Twilight Zone version of Nerd Heaven. If you do go to Japan, you're bound to be disappointed - especially if your idea of Japan is taken from Metafilter, or even the English-speaking Internet in general. The comic book/anime/wacky Japanese thing is only one very small slice of things.

By: Potomac Avenue

Potomac Avenue — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 15:01:50 -0800

Just trying to gauge the proper level of outrage here: Humans feeding Animals To Other Animals = Outrageous. Animals feeding Other Animals to Humans = Hilariously Awesome?

By: MiltonRandKalman

MiltonRandKalman — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 15:44:12 -0800

Dance, Monkey, Dance

By: Shebear

Shebear — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 15:49:42 -0800

Obviously, you've GOT to take your shoes off before sitting at the table. Eating food served by a monkey - what's wrong with that?

By: An Infinity Of Monkeys

An Infinity Of Monkeys — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 15:51:00 -0800

We are not impressed.

By: bonefish

bonefish — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 15:59:38 -0800

Waiters? How about monkey butlers, who regale us every night with jungle stories!

By: dbiedny

dbiedny — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 16:21:06 -0800

Don't let George Lucas see this, he'll clone them and create an army of Monkey Animators™ for his dark crusade.

By: resurrexit

resurrexit — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 16:37:11 -0800

It was the best of times, it was the . . . blurst of times?

By: DU

DU — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 17:34:37 -0800

Monkey waiters, though popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often to be found in Washington, DEE CEE.

By: nickyskye

nickyskye — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 17:39:32 -0800

awww. Those serious monkey faces. Adding to the monkeybiz: Monkey-dog rodeo rider. Impersonating George Burns.

By: flapjax at midnite

flapjax at midnite — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 17:44:52 -0800

Everybody's got somethin' to hide 'Cept for me and my waiter

By: Lokisbane

Lokisbane — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 17:51:32 -0800

Your sentiments are true ericb. This is how Planet of the Apes gets started.

By: flapjax at midnite

flapjax at midnite — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 18:29:58 -0800

If you do go to Japan, you're bound to be disappointed - especially if your idea of Japan is taken from Metafilter, or even the English-speaking Internet in general. The comic book/anime/wacky Japanese thing is only one very small slice of things. Yeah, that's true. Mostly here in Tokyo it's just everyday stuff like naked tourists swimming in the Emperor's moat, attacking police, holding a squadron of police at bay, falling back into moat, stuff like that.

By: gomichild

gomichild — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 18:37:56 -0800

I remember seeing on a Japanese TV show (yes it's possible I watch too much Japanese TV). The owners claimed that one of the monkeys just starting aping them and serving by themselves.

By: h00py

h00py — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 19:00:21 -0800

Karl Pilkington really needs to know about this!

By: Mastercheddaar

Mastercheddaar — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 06:54:57 -0800

Big F'ing deal..... OOOH the Japanese trained a monkey how to be a waiter. Well 8 years ago we trained one how to be the president!

By: notashroom

notashroom — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 14:31:39 -0800

Very cute. Maybe next time, instead of the bakery, the chimp could take his pups there for a snack. And someone could order a singing telegram gorilla, and it'd be like a scene in a movie written by a Japanese Mel Brooks.