Sad Guys on Trading Floors.
October 8, 2008 9:53 AM   Subscribe


 
...with captions written by a 6-year old.
posted by Zambrano at 10:01 AM on October 8, 2008 [5 favorites]


Part of me finds this the funniest thing since lolcats. Another part has trouble enjoying the pain suffered by anyone, no matter how much they may deserve it.

Do I need to kill part of me to make me stronger?
posted by cimbrog at 10:02 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


Canned Panic Photos
posted by blue mustard at 10:12 AM on October 8, 2008 [4 favorites]


Good concept, just nuke the stupid comments written by your sister-in-law
posted by KokuRyu at 10:14 AM on October 8, 2008


Aw, I liked the Flickr caption.
posted by bonaldi at 10:20 AM on October 8, 2008


I'm ignoring the captions and imagining that all of these guys are sad because of the havoc their greed has caused.

...what?
posted by felix betachat at 10:20 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


...with party hats.
posted by bondcliff at 10:24 AM on October 8, 2008


It's a lame concept but at least the writing is bad.
posted by DU at 10:26 AM on October 8, 2008 [2 favorites]


Market go down
Cowlick go up


hehe
posted by Xoebe at 10:26 AM on October 8, 2008


Metafilter: Douche Borscht
posted by dirigibleman at 10:27 AM on October 8, 2008


"Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it."
posted by Hicksu at 10:31 AM on October 8, 2008


I'm still astonished to see people on trading floors in eccentric clothes. I thought businesspeople didn't do that kind of thing.
posted by Tehanu at 10:43 AM on October 8, 2008


Without the captions it becomes a much more interesting blog -- a slice of history told in pictures.
posted by tkolar at 10:50 AM on October 8, 2008


Somewhat related: Will someone please leave this poor woman alone?
posted by dismas at 10:54 AM on October 8, 2008 [7 favorites]


Meh, it's not lolfed.

Has anyone noticed that Dick Fuld of Lehman looks like Montgomery Burns?
posted by Pastabagel at 11:02 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


Am I the only one that sees sad guys cowering on the floor?
posted by moonshine at 11:18 AM on October 8, 2008


lolfatcats.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 11:23 AM on October 8, 2008 [4 favorites]


Am I the only one that sees sad guys cowering on the floor?

Ha! Yeah, I know!
posted by kittens for breakfast at 11:36 AM on October 8, 2008


glad they are going under and that it does not affect me, my retirement fund, my house, or my kid;'s college loan.
posted by Postroad at 11:38 AM on October 8, 2008


Everybody is so down on these guys. Look: they've lost a ton of money, they're depressed, they're leaning against their desks, sighing and crying into their hands.

At least some people are compassionate enough to try to get these guys back on their feet and up and moving again.
posted by Auden at 11:40 AM on October 8, 2008 [2 favorites]


LOLLers:

Hi! I’m an admin from a Flickr group called “CRT Monitors and Dot Matrix Printers FTW!” and we’d love to add your photo!

“Please, make the cruel machine stop.”

Scary enough, this scroll of paper actually IS the Hong Kong stock exchange.

From left to right: Sleepy, Drunk, Worried, Crapped Pants
posted by troy at 11:47 AM on October 8, 2008


It would be a much stronger and far more interesting site without the lame attempt at funny-snarky captions.

I understand the attempt to whistle through the graveyard, and I'm as up for laughing at the misfortune of asshats as anyone else here, but trying to force everything into the LOLCATS mold isn't the greatest idea.

The photos alone would stand by themselves and be pretty breathtaking.
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:48 AM on October 8, 2008


These people are traders, not bankers, so I'm not sure how much havoc they have caused.
posted by preparat at 11:50 AM on October 8, 2008


Don't traders always look like this?
posted by swift at 11:52 AM on October 8, 2008


These people are traders, not bankers, so I'm not sure how much havoc they have caused.

I guess I was just looking across the life cycle: Excusing them is like exempting the maggot to condemn the fly.
posted by felix betachat at 11:58 AM on October 8, 2008


Tee Hee
posted by The Whelk at 12:03 PM on October 8, 2008


Metafilter: It would be a much stronger and far more interesting site without the lame attempt at funny-snarky [comments].
posted by cjorgensen at 12:04 PM on October 8, 2008


What's funny is that we see these photos and think "sad, depressed, losing money, etc."

That might not be the case at all. Some of these guys are raking in dollars in commissions over the intense activity, regardless of the market's overall condition.

Some of these "sad" faces might actually be, "Holy shit, I'm tired. How the fuck am I going to close all these deals before I fall asleep on my feet? What am I going to do? I can't just LEAVE all this money sitting on the table!"
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:17 PM on October 8, 2008


Meh.
posted by fixedgear at 12:35 PM on October 8, 2008


What's with the mesh-backed jackets so many of these guys are wearing?
posted by Horace Rumpole at 12:38 PM on October 8, 2008


Aren't all the guys on the floor just the flying monkeys for the guy behind the curtain pulling the levers? (And yeah, I realize I just mixed imagery, deal with it.) I doubt they're particularly invested in the downswings of the market other than disappointed at not seeing their bosses fling themselves out of skyscraper windows yet. As noted above, they're merely overworked during giant market moves, and not destitute as papers like to imply with their pictures and captions.
posted by Keith Talent at 12:45 PM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


I was just talking about making a montage of 'sad traders' and posting it in the office breakroom (we have a dark sense of humor.) I was just going to go straight - lots of pictures and no captions. This just confirms my instincts.

Also, yes, many of these guys are just traders. They're tired, they're overworked, they're not getting payed near as much as the executives they work for.
posted by elwoodwiles at 12:51 PM on October 8, 2008


Sad Guys on Trading Floors is the new Hot Chicks with Douchebags.
posted by silby at 1:03 PM on October 8, 2008


Cool Papa Bell is right - these are just standard trader grimaces.

I'm genuinely impressed by the kindness of the Mefites who sympathise with these overpaid shits merely because they're not quite as overpaid and parasitic as the top shits.
posted by Phanx at 1:56 PM on October 8, 2008


The stock market numbers are like in all the submarine movies where they're going too deep and the lights start flickering and the dials start cracking and the hull starts creaking. "Ninety degrees down bubble!" "Make your depth Dow 9,200--sharply!" it's like a movie!
posted by kirkaracha at 1:59 PM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


Don't traders always look like this?

Seriously, couldn't you get photos like this anytime?

At least one of the captions was kind of funny. “No, Paul. Not for a while.”
posted by yath at 2:45 PM on October 8, 2008


James 5.1

1) Go to now, ye rich men, weep and howl for your miseries that shall come upon you.

2) Your riches are corrupted, and your garments are motheaten.

3) Your gold and silver is cankered; and the rust of them shall be a witness against you, and shall eat your flesh as it were fire. Ye have heaped treasure together for the last days.

4) Behold, the hire of the labourers who have reaped down your fields, which is of you kept back by fraud, crieth: and the cries of them which have reaped are entered into the ears of the Lord of sabaoth.

5) Ye have lived in pleasure on the earth, and been wanton; ye have nourished your hearts, as in a day of slaughter.

6) Ye have condemned and killed the just; and he doth not resist you.

...on and on.
posted by greenskpr at 4:00 PM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


I worked at the AMEX and the NYSE for a year or so. These faces are familiar. They always look like that.
posted by Zambrano at 4:08 PM on October 8, 2008


My heart goes out to them. Really. No really.
posted by Arnolfini at 4:14 PM on October 8, 2008


Strangely enough, this was funnier before I got baked. I don't think that's happened before.
posted by Edgewise at 4:19 PM on October 8, 2008 [3 favorites]


James 5.1

See, that's why you want to just ignore the whole New Testament.
posted by smackfu at 6:28 PM on October 8, 2008


Ah, schadenfreude.

Still, in a different life I might have ended up on that floor, at the hub of all that activity. Looks exciting as hell - yeah, I know they're just trading monkeys and are not really in charge, and are overworked and undercompensated. The highs and lows are just part of the drama. But for the life I have, looks too stressful and I'm just not that interested in money.
posted by krinklyfig at 7:49 PM on October 8, 2008


Sad guys on the trading floors? No thanks, this sad guy on the killing floor speaks to me a lot stronger. Speaks to my soul.

He's got more heart, y'see.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:44 PM on October 8, 2008


I am a former floor trader for 8 years. There are always faces like this. While I think the captions are as lame as it gets, not sure why the sarcastic sympathy for these guys. As if they made you take out a 95% loan on a house you couldn't afford or extended you credit card debt or... never mind.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 9:32 PM on October 8, 2008


As if they made you take out a 95% loan on a house you couldn't afford or extended you credit card debt

Yeah but none of us asked them to dick around with 60 trillion dollars in Credit Default Swaps.

But who needs regulation anyway? Stop whining!
posted by axltea at 10:13 PM on October 8, 2008


The point, when I did this post on October 6, was that it was kind of cruel of the news agencies to use pictures of exhausted floor traders as illustrations of market collapses. It's not like the floor traders caused any of this; they are just rushing around trying to make orders. (And they are rapidly being replaced by computers.)

Anyway, it's a nice idea, minus the making fun of people working the exchanges who will all soon lose their jobs. I sure didn't take the pictures -- news agencies own these photos -- but do these Tumblr guys have to use my own lousy crop of an AP photo?
posted by kenlayne at 10:42 PM on October 8, 2008


As if they made you take out a 95% loan on a house you couldn't afford...

Your right, they didn't. One of the reasons the next few years is going to be difficult is people refuse to take responsibility. Did the banks fuck up? Yes. Did borrowers fuck up? Yes again. Everyone owns a piece of this crisis. Myself included.
posted by elwoodwiles at 10:57 PM on October 8, 2008


Did the banks fuck up? Yes. Did borrowers fuck up? Yes again. Everyone owns a piece of this crisis. Myself included.

Hmm. I didn't fuck up. I didn't borrow, I didn't lend, I didn't speculate, gamble, charge interest, collect interest... I just played my drums and plucked my jew's harps, and scraped by as always. I am so far outside this economic loop that, well, I'm not part of your "everyone". And there's lots of others, too, not part of this "everyone". The word everyone gets overused, don't it?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 1:57 AM on October 9, 2008 [2 favorites]


As if they made you take out a 95% loan on a house you couldn't afford...

I have friends who had good credit and good collateral. They had to argue for days to convince their bank they were not interested in an adjustable rate mortgage, that they did not believe it was a better deal, that they would rather have a higher fixed rate.

Did some people borrow more than they should? Of course.

Did many people get cheated by mortgage brokers trying to sell a more profitable but riskier mortgage? Of course.

Did a few people make a whole lot of money by then reselling those crappy mortgages? Of course.

Are we all having to pay for the mortgage brokers and bundlers trying to make an easy buck? Apparently.
posted by hydropsyche at 4:05 AM on October 9, 2008


Yeah but none of us asked them to dick around with 60 trillion dollars in Credit Default Swaps.

But who needs regulation anyway? Stop whining!


That's my point, stop whining. Floor traders don't create CDS's they make markets in them helping to facilitate both the buying and selling of whatever instrument they trade. They are liquidity providers. If your beef is with credit default swaps, your beef is with the issuer. Derivative products are usually zero sum games. For every profit there is an offsetting loss. I am quite sure ther are floor traders or market makers who made a lot of money. I am also quite sure there are a lot who lost a lot of personal money too. There is plenty of blame to go around and plenty of victims.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 4:21 AM on October 9, 2008


Durwood Baldwin, the least known of the Baldwin brothers of Hollywood, is the newest sad guy on the trading floor.
posted by NoMich at 8:26 AM on October 9, 2008


elwoodwiles writes "Your right, they didn't. One of the reasons the next few years is going to be difficult is people refuse to take responsibility. Did the banks fuck up? Yes. Did borrowers fuck up? Yes again. Everyone owns a piece of this crisis. Myself included."

If a bank offers a loan to someone who can't afford it, a good percentage of the time, the prospective borrower will take it. This is not hard to predict. The action that is a problem and which is the heart of the issue is the lender offering a loan to someone who can't reasonably pay it back. If you hold out a wad of cash in your fist and offer someone a 29% loan, a lot of people will take it, even with the horrendous interest rate. Credit cards do this all the time. People will make stupid decisions regarding their own personal finances, as will banks, if you let them. Borrowers can be prevented from making such mistakes by not offering them untenable packages, and lenders can be prevented from offering such loans by regulation. Individually speaking, yes, the borrowers are at fault, but systemically, they are behaving exactly as you'd expect.
posted by krinklyfig at 8:35 AM on October 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


Sad guys on the trading floors? No thanks, this sad guy on the killing floor speaks to me a lot stronger. Speaks to my soul.
He's got more heart, y'see.
posted by flapjax at midnite


Wow I thought you were going someplace completely different with that, I thought you meant more heart like MORE heart y'see...
!Vegan Spoiler Alert! No click click. blood.dead.icky...
posted by greenskpr at 2:15 PM on October 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


...with captions written by a 6-year old.

That sad traders blog is not funny at all. Did a six-year-old write the captions?
posted by Mikey-San at 9:48 PM on October 9, 2008


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