Skip

Unto the combat, gauntlet or gospel, here I defy thee
October 10, 2008 10:14 PM   Subscribe

You can't tase me bro, no, seriously, you can't. The Thor Shield is handy for all your not getting electrocuted needs.
posted by Smedleyman (31 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite

 
Why would you want to protect yourself from tasers (unless you're a criminal)?
posted by finite at 10:19 PM on October 10, 2008


Yes, only criminals get tasered.
And it's not like anyone can pick up a taser just anywhere.
posted by Smedleyman at 10:29 PM on October 10, 2008


Why would you want to protect yourself from tasers (unless you're a criminal)?

Well, being a criminal is pretty subjective, isn't it? A group of men who have the requisite power to enforce their will on other human beings decides that. And if only criminals get tasered, why aren't (in many places) ordinary citizens allowed to have tasers to protect themselves against criminals? It would seem that usually non-lethal force to stop someone from attacking you would be a pretty good social compromise, but no, at least in the state of New York.
posted by sluglicker at 10:41 PM on October 10, 2008


anyone can pick up a taser

And yet, according to their website "Thor Shield is only sold to Military and Law Enforcement Agencies", and according to the CNET article even those customers must sign NDAs.
posted by finite at 10:47 PM on October 10, 2008


That's because only authorized people can have a taser. If you are not an authorized person, and you possess a taser, you are a criminal. Authorized people must protect themselves from criminals. Authorized people , therefore, can't be criminals, and so there would be no reason for non-authorized people to protect themselves from tasers.
posted by sluglicker at 11:00 PM on October 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


And yet, according to their website "Thor Shield is only sold to Military and Law Enforcement Agencies", and according to the CNET article even those customers must sign NDAs.

But couldn't one of those linesman's hot suits do the trick just as well? Buy one used, and you don't have to sign a thing.
posted by Iridic at 11:04 PM on October 10, 2008 [7 favorites]


Thanks, Iridic, that video was awesome!
posted by finite at 11:12 PM on October 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


(just in case anyone missed it, The Challenge of Thor by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)

I am the God Thor,
I am the War God,
I am the Thunderer!
Here in my Northland,
My fastness and fortress,
Reign I forever!
Here amid icebergs
Rule I the nations;
This is my hammer,
Mi├Âlner the mighty;
Giants and sorcerers
Cannot withstand it!

These are the gauntlets
Wherewith I wield it,
And hurl it afar off;
This is my girdle;
Whenever I brace it,
Strength is redoubled!

The light thou beholdest
Stream through the heavens,
In flashes of crimson,
Is but my red beard
Blown by the night-wind,
Affrighting the nations!
Jove is my brother;
Mine eyes are the lightning;
The wheels of my chariot
Roll in the thunder,
The blows of my hammer
Ring in the earthquake!

Force rules the world still,
Has ruled it, shall rule it;
Meekness is weakness,
Strength is triumphant,
Over the whole earth
Still is it Thor's Day!

Thou art a God too,
O Galilean!
And thus singled-handed
Unto the combat,
Gauntlet or Gospel,
Here I defy thee!
posted by sluglicker at 11:45 PM on October 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


I want Odin knickers. Can I get Odin knickers? They would stop dick-punches.
posted by From Bklyn at 11:49 PM on October 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


But would they stop tasers?
posted by sluglicker at 12:05 AM on October 11, 2008


I assume a fencing vest/lame would work too. And anyone can order those online. And probably for a tenth what the military is paying :-)
posted by -harlequin- at 12:10 AM on October 11, 2008


according to their website "Thor Shield is only sold to Military and Law Enforcement Agencies"

So if I want one I'm going to have to steal it?
posted by fshgrl at 12:17 AM on October 11, 2008


Having experimented with tinfoil as part of a costume, I can tell you it's damned hot. There is more to making a conductive costume than meets the eye.

But the local police are about to start deploying tasers routinely, and don't have a great rep for crowd control; I've been thinking about how they might be defeated.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 12:31 AM on October 11, 2008


But couldn't one of those linesman's hot suits do the trick just as well?

I know about Rule 34 and all, but calling off-sides doesn't sound all that hot to me.
posted by ghost of a past number at 12:33 AM on October 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


Having experimented with tinfoil as part of a costume, I can tell you it's damned hot. There is more to making a conductive costume than meets the eye.

I'd go with wire mesh, like screen doors are made of.
posted by sebastienbailard at 12:50 AM on October 11, 2008


How about a little repurposing?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:02 AM on October 11, 2008


Seconding the wire mesh.
posted by DU at 4:13 AM on October 11, 2008


Tasers don't electrocute, they shock.
posted by C17H19NO3 at 6:39 AM on October 11, 2008


Why would you want to protect yourself from tasers (unless you're a criminal)?
posted by finite at 10:19 PM on October 10


Because Tasers kill people. Because the police in most jurisdictions use Tasers indiscriminately, in situations where they would never shoot someone, because they get to hurt people while getting in less "trouble" with community members like you who do not understand the issue.

You see, the police typically use Tasers in order to force "pain compliance." Instead of talking to people or using the least amount of force possible, an officer will take the easiest route out, meaning that they will simply torture someone with a Taser until they do what the police say.

In Brooklyn a few weeks ago, a naked, mentally disturbed man was standing ten feet above the ground on a ledge, waving around a fluorescent light pole. Instead of dealing with him by the rules, the NYPD just said, fuck it, shoot him with your Taser. Predictably, the man died when his head struck the ground.

You see, this is yet another example of law enforcement using the easiest way out of a situation without regard to the community. Instead of using psychology or empathy, the police just try to shoot (or electrocute) their way out of a tough situation.

You don't have to be guilty to be shot by the police. You should know this by now. So yes, if I lived in a neighborhood where the police presence was actively hostile, as is the experience with many black Americans, I would want to to protect myself from Tasers. Thanks for asking.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 6:51 AM on October 11, 2008 [10 favorites]


Tasers are meant as non-lethal alternatives to a sidearms, and when used as such, they work exceptionally well in disarming attackers with a knife or poolcue or somesuch.

The problem is, they're used as portable torture devices to ensure compliance or to punish those the police don't like. They're used to make unpleasant people scream and writhe just for the crime of being someone a police officer finds unpleasant.

So, we're seeing an escalation in citizen responses to abuse of power.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:55 AM on October 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


I would imagine this is not too hard to make if you know someone with access to the appropriate cloth weaving equipment. It is probably a layer of fabric with copper micro wire embedded in the outer layer, with an insulating layer on the inside. The outside offers a low resistance path for the taser shock circuit, and the inside keeps the user safe. I will give $100 to the first person who can reverse engineer the fabric and release the directions under a GPL license. Bonus points if they set up shop and start manufacturing apparel for peaceful NGOs.
posted by kscottz at 8:58 AM on October 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


Remember kids, a stranger in a police uniform is still a stranger.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 9:31 AM on October 11, 2008 [4 favorites]


In addition to what others have said, I've also seen folks use legal tasers and pepper spray to incapacitate, then beat the person while they're trying to recover. So yeah, I can think of a lot of reasons to want to be taser-proof.
posted by SaintCynr at 10:59 AM on October 11, 2008


There are a number of conductive fabrics available to the general public.

For most of us, dressing to protect ourselves from Tasers makes about as much sense as protecting yourself against mind-control microwaves. It just so happens that these products and a well-made tin-hat will protect you from both at once!
posted by eye of newt at 11:04 AM on October 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


Why would you want to protect yourself from tasers (unless you're a criminal)?

Well done, about half the people in this thread took the bait.
posted by knave at 11:07 AM on October 11, 2008


I would think the conducting garments here ought to work pretty well.
posted by MythMaker at 2:31 PM on October 11, 2008


Tasers are meant as non-lethal alternatives to a sidearms

They say that, but they're not used that way because there's so little risk to the LEOs who abuse them. Every time an officer uses their firearm (or in some forces, every time they even draw their firearm), they have to fill out annoying detailed reports, and are subject to an internal investigation to verify that it was actually necessary to do so.

If the departments were serious about it being "a life-saving tool when a firearm would otherwise be necessary", they would require the same paperwork and oversight each and every time a taser was used. If they treated each taser use as "would shooting the suspect with a gun be acceptable in this situation", I'd be a big fan of police tasers.

But until they do that, I don't believe their spin.
posted by rokusan at 7:33 PM on October 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


If you get tased while wearing one of these, you'd better act like it hurts, and act good. If the cops see that tasers don't work on you, you're going to get nightsticks to the skull until you stop twitching.
posted by rifflesby at 7:35 PM on October 11, 2008


Schultz argues that with Tasers now available to the public in the US, police will increasingly come across Taser-equipped criminals and need protective garb.

Mr. Schultz is a putz. Why would any criminal in their (half) right mind engage a police officer with a taser? That's just dumb. If a person were to pull a taser on a police officer, they're automatically going to escalate to pulling a gun (plus call for back up/have back up with them). Assuming they live the taser to a gun fight shoot out, they will end up with an extra charge of assault with a deadly weapon and/or attempted murder.

Seriously, if you're an idiot criminal who's going to take it that far, go ahead and pull a gun. I really only know of one incident in the US where a police officer was tased. They were trying to serve a warrant on a guy and they followed his wife into his garage and tried to arrest her for not telling them where he was or something. He beat up both and tased one with their own taser. I think it ended up that they had broken the law by entering the garage and trying to arrest his wife (I could be wrong). If that's the case, then he was justified in using whatever means necessary to protect his wife and home (though IANAL or CJM or J or Jury).
posted by robtf3 at 1:38 AM on October 12, 2008


It is probably a layer of fabric with copper micro wire embedded in the outer layer, with an insulating layer on the inside.

Hints:
1) Use stainless steel, not copper.
2) Insulation is not necessary.
posted by ryanrs at 1:47 PM on October 12, 2008


If it's going to be an arms escalation kind of thing, then we need to do it right; it's not enough that you are taser-proof, your clothes should also provide an active defense when it senses an attempted tasing. First off, it should have an embedded camera with sound to document the entire encounter. Then I'm thinking that it should be able to somehow redirect the current back down the wires causing the device to completely short out.

Oh, and it should totally make you invisible. And able to climb walls Spiderman style.

Wait... where was I going with this?

Right, let's talk about the grenades, it's gotta have both smoke, and white phosphorus, just so you have options.

And maybe a cape.
posted by quin at 2:05 PM on October 13, 2008


« Older For the low, low price of WTF...   |   Devils in the Details Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments



Post