Massive Die-off Conspiracy Filter?

October 12, 2008 5:42 PM

Is the United States Government preparing for great uprest? Preparing for martial law. Bringing the troops home. Are they expecting a large amount of people to die as a result? Why buy 500,000 airtight coffins and store them near Atlanta?

Google Map of the area with the coffins.
Would the financial crisis be a valid trigger of Directive 51?
Are the "coffins" really just burial vaults?
Should I invest in tinfoil or not?

I found the amount of tinfoilhattery to be amusing and thought I'd share it with you all.

posted by schyler523 (25 comments total)

'Bringing the troops home' and 'Why buy 500,000 coffins' contain the same link.
posted by SaintCynr at 5:49 PM on October 12, 2008

Oops...here is the correct link.
posted by schyler523 at 5:51 PM on October 12, 2008

I suspect schyler523 is a TimeCubeist...
posted by shockingbluamp at 5:56 PM on October 12, 2008

So this is what will happen if McCain doesn't win, eh?
posted by birdhaus at 5:56 PM on October 12, 2008

This is some good anti-FEMA tinfoilhattery (bonus narration by computer voice.)
posted by schyler523 at 5:57 PM on October 12, 2008

I am having trouble with cut and paste today...real link for above.
posted by schyler523 at 5:59 PM on October 12, 2008

Is there actually anything here besides a bunch of coffins being purchased? That's proof of nothing in particular. I remember fearmongering stories about the US military buying hundreds of thousands of body bags before the Iraq invasion. It doesn't even make sense: if you want to kill a bunch of people, just bury them in mass graves! No self-respecting totalitarian regime is gonna waste time messing around with coffins.

This is a terrible post. Maybe it will play better at Reddit.
posted by nasreddin at 5:59 PM on October 12, 2008

This is just a stupid post. There is no evidence that they are:

a) owned by the government
b) anything but vaults for sealing coffins as required by law in many states
c) in numbers even close to 500,000
d) not stockpiled outside the manufacturer

Flagged.
posted by procrastination at 5:59 PM on October 12, 2008

So evidence of secrets of such significance are usually stored in a non-secure compound in plain site of not only commercially available satellite imagery, but also only about 100 yards from a publicly accessible road?

Uhu.

Sheesh.
posted by Brockles at 6:00 PM on October 12, 2008

Oh geez, not rex 84 again. Months ago I combed Google Earth for locations of these "concentration camps in waiting" and they're all just empty fields. Some of the Google Earth groups say pretty much the same thing. The sources go way, way back to 1980s tin foil hattery.
posted by crapmatic at 6:00 PM on October 12, 2008

I live fairly near the coffin area. I don't know how long that these have been there but I know of another location not too far away that has had 50,000 coffins stored for years. I've know about them at least since high school and I graduated in 89. They have been there in case of some kind of mass death or natural disaster. That is the story that I've always heard growing up. The were stored next to a highway and you could see them in the winter when the leaves were down. They have done a lot of highway construction around that area, I wonder if the google map is just showing the new location of coffins that have been at the ready for at least 20 years. Not sure but it is a theory.
posted by pearlybob at 6:02 PM on October 12, 2008

Also, WTF was up with the computer voiceover in that video? Shit was unlistenable.
posted by nasreddin at 6:03 PM on October 12, 2008

uuuh, look at me, I'm a baboon and my butt if on fire! look at me running around and screaming "conspiracy!"

woooooooh!
posted by krautland at 6:07 PM on October 12, 2008

Those are not caskets. They are vaults. Caskets go in vaults. And they are not airtight. If they were airtight, they'd pop up out of the ground after the first heavy rain. Just so you know.
posted by ColdChef at 6:10 PM on October 12, 2008 [2 favorites]

Goodness gracious.
posted by MarshallPoe at 6:16 PM on October 12, 2008

Next time you wanna talk about the US Gov't purchasing anything, please include a link to FedBizzOpps where the awardee is listed. It's a matter of public record. I flagged this, too bad 'flag as stupid asshattery' is not an option.
posted by fixedgear at 6:16 PM on October 12, 2008

My God, it's like there's some kind of massive industry that exists just to deal with dead people. And I... I think ColdChef is part of it!

P.S. Please delete this garbage.
posted by nanojath at 6:17 PM on October 12, 2008

Okay, it has to be said: "uprest"?
posted by briank at 6:22 PM on October 12, 2008

*rubs hands together menacingly*
posted by ColdChef at 6:22 PM on October 12, 2008

Those are not caskets. They are vaults. Caskets go in vaults. And they are not airtight. If they were airtight, they'd pop up out of the ground after the first heavy rain. .

The rain was a-fallin', a-fallin' down
I was walkin' through the graveyard on the edge of town
That's when I heard a weird squishy sound
And saw caskets! Poppin' outta the ground!

AAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!!!

(Just a reminder that this month's MeFi Music Challenge is to write a scary Halloween song.


posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:23 PM on October 12, 2008

Just so you know.

If it was any other Mefite who was part of the conspiracy I would have been really disappointed. I just want you to know I'm glad it was you, ColdChef.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:23 PM on October 12, 2008 [2 favorites]

Ok, did a google for Caskets near Covington GA and found this Reddit post. Haven't had time to read it but it may offer some more info.
posted by pearlybob at 6:25 PM on October 12, 2008

If the government thought 500k Americans were going to die, wouldn't they just throw us in a common grave and shove some landfill on top? And 20 years later build a casino there?
posted by bukharin at 6:25 PM on October 12, 2008

Although this thread was worth it for this eloquent refuting of the rumour from the last link:

Maybe the "truth" is that we don't know why those boxes are stacked up there and that the further "truth" is that wild speculation is almost the exact same thing as playing pictionary when you are drunk. EVERYTHING looks like a monkey taking a dump after 20 shots of Goldschlager.
posted by Brockles at 6:26 PM on October 12, 2008 [1 favorite]

Incidentally, are you aware that something like two and a half million people die in the U.S. every year?
posted by nanojath at 6:26 PM on October 12, 2008