May 9, 2001

11:46 AM

Finances can be a sticky issue in relationships
Can you pay my bills?
Can you pay my telephone bills?
Can you pay my automo-bills?
If you did then maybe we could chill
I don't think you do
So, you and me are through

Can I get paid to write stuff like this? And just how would one get started?
posted by 4midori (18 comments total)

You have to go to school for this kind of stuff. Sisqo is a recent alumn:

She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck
Thighs like what, what, what
Baby move your butt, butt, butt
I think i'll sing it again
She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck
Thighs like what, what, what
All night long
Let me see that thong

posted by Hankins at 11:57 AM on May 9, 2001

I suppose it helps to be a gorgeous woman...or a group of gorgeous women...or a gorgeous man...or, well, you get it.
posted by briank at 12:05 PM on May 9, 2001

Um...."dumps like a truck" sounds absolutely revolting and completely unsexy to me.
posted by jennak at 12:08 PM on May 9, 2001

First of all, Sisqo proudly honed his trade at the Fudgery in the Inner Harbor in Baltimore. No, really. It's a shopping mall fudge store which requires its employees to make a show of the open-air fudge making, complete with audience participation singing. The whole Dru Hill band got noticed there, and it's a huge tourist attraction (the two are not related.)

Second, jennak: according to an interview with Sisqo, "dumps like a truck" is a phrase that he and his friends actually use, and it IS complimentary. He does not explain its meaning.

I make no excuses for Destiny's Child, though. Just standing up for the hometown boy.

(I have WAY too much time on my hands.)
posted by matt8313 at 12:13 PM on May 9, 2001

Have you actually heard the song? It's pretty good.
posted by owillis at 12:18 PM on May 9, 2001

Have you actually heard the song? It's pretty good.

Totally off topic, but I just gotta say...I love Napster.
posted by mapalm at 12:27 PM on May 9, 2001

> Have you actually heard the song? It's pretty good.

I like well-formed song lyrics with meaningful content as much as the next guy but you can have a good song without 'em. Louie Louie!
posted by jfuller at 12:35 PM on May 9, 2001

If you pay attention you will notice that Beyonce is trying to school all you SCRUBS out there. Yes, that's right all of you it was cool on the first few dates now he's always broke always trying to borrow money still living with his momma always asking to use my damn cell phone bad credit having always asking me when I get paid no pot to piss in or window to throw it out of trifling ass men.

sorry, she hit a nerve.
posted by melaninus at 12:41 PM on May 9, 2001

Can I get paid to write stuff like this?

Destiny's Child aren't getting paid for their lyrics...they've got, ahem, other things going for them....

Besides, pop lyrics have always been an easy target (remember Steve Allen?). Some of the best songs ever written sound ridiculous when you read the lyrics aloud.
posted by jpoulos at 12:42 PM on May 9, 2001

I have heard the word "dumper" used as a grotesque euphemism for the female posterior. I assume (from a purely anatomical perspective) that it is gender-neutral.
posted by gunr at 12:44 PM on May 9, 2001

RE: "Dumps like a truck"

So I'm guessing Sisqo likes his chicks to shit on him during sex?
posted by lannie628 at 4:58 PM on May 9, 2001

Speaking of Sisqo...
posted by Hackworth at 5:59 PM on May 9, 2001

Or maybe Sisqo's just looking for somebody to pay his plumbing bills...
posted by DiplomaticImmunity at 6:08 PM on May 9, 2001

here's the chorus from one of their songs (appropriately titled "so good"):

so good so good so good
i know you hate it, but i'm
so good so good so good
i'm doin' so so so so so good
so good so good so good
it's hard to face it but i'm
so good so good so good
so good

wow!
posted by judomadonna at 7:15 PM on May 9, 2001

Actually, those lyrics seem fine to me. The automo-bills line is a nice gag, and the performance (what's that? Lyrics are meant to be heard not read?) is appropriately urgent and angry. A dry Cole Porter wit, or 60s Dylan imagism, or most of the lyrical styles you might consider 'good'- those simply wouldn't fit as well with the music. Actually I'd be interested to see what lyricists you do think are good.

Here's something I wrote about Destiny's Child lyrics, among other things, and explaining why I think their songs work. (Don't click on any links inside it cause some cockfarmers swiped my domain name, cheers!)
posted by freakytrigger at 12:22 AM on May 10, 2001

1) Chris Rock said something to the effect of, "Hey Destiny's Child! I hate to tell you this but....there is no such thing as an 'automo.' You've been scammed!"

2) Beyonce Knowls (the blond Child) actually wrote all of the songs on their new album. I'm shocked. (And don't ask me how I know this.)
posted by jennak at 7:59 AM on May 10, 2001

Why is that so shocking? I've heard a half a dozen people say the same thing and I still don't understand why this is so unbelievable.

Especially since you think her songs are so terrible. Then it would be fitting that this stupid, 20 year old, black woman wrote and produced this crappy new album full of shit songs with fake words, wouldn't it? So, either way, your comment makes absolutely no sense.
posted by Ay-Z at 5:08 PM on May 10, 2001

Um...Ay-Z, I don't think that their songs are "shit." I think their tunes are quite catchy. I simply found the "automo" line hilarious.

I am shocked because (unfortunately) it seems that few pop artists are writing their own material.

And I don't see what her being a 20 year black woman has to do with it. Why do you have to bring race and gender into this? The thread was continuing about invented words. I don't recall anyone bringing up gender or age -- if so, I would have kicked their asses.

Furthermore, if you knew my age and ethnic background, you wouldn't have said that.
posted by jennak at 2:16 PM on May 22, 2001