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Stephan Kinsella's rulings on term coolness
October 17, 2008 5:30 PM   Subscribe

Annoying and/or pretentious terms: "jejune", "pyjamas", "piping hot", "social justice". Cool terms: "cogitate", "cul-de-sac", "high dudgeon", "orangutan".
posted by colinmarshall (112 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

 
So he had his own blog?

Last updated September 2004
posted by R. Mutt at 5:39 PM on October 17, 2008


What the fuck is wrong with social justice? His list of annoying words is nonsensical, to me. Maybe half of them are truly annoying.

Many of his Cool Terms are actually insufferably pretentious, which only calls attention to the fact that compiling such a list is the height of pretension itself. And while I do agree that dudgeon is quite good, you rarely find it outside of, say, Macbeth.
posted by synaesthetichaze at 5:40 PM on October 17, 2008 [10 favorites]


Stephan Kinsella is a twit.
posted by shockingbluamp at 5:42 PM on October 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


I feel like Homer when he read that Gary Larson calendar.
posted by nudar at 5:44 PM on October 17, 2008 [2 favorites]


Annoying and/or pretentious websites: "This One"
posted by ekstasis23 at 5:45 PM on October 17, 2008 [6 favorites]


Soda; soda pop; pop

Dare I ask what the non-annoying/non-pretentious term for fizzy sugar drinks is, then?
posted by brain cloud at 5:45 PM on October 17, 2008 [2 favorites]


Uh, yeah – OK?

Andy Rooney, watch out!
posted by defenestration at 5:45 PM on October 17, 2008 [2 favorites]


brain cloud: Coke?
posted by Picklegnome at 5:46 PM on October 17, 2008


Cool Terms:
What up?
ergonomic
red-ass / can of whup-ass
cul-de-sac


Really? And how did "ennui" escape from the dreaded "pretentious" label, anyway?
posted by paisley henosis at 5:47 PM on October 17, 2008


Explanation of first initial "N." in name N. Stephan Kinsella ... Some feel the use of a first initial pretentious, akin to the use of "Winthrop, III"...

Well, now that you mention it...
posted by R. Mutt at 5:49 PM on October 17, 2008 [3 favorites]


Dare I ask what the non-annoying/non-pretentious term for fizzy sugar drinks is

"carbonated beverage concoction for restoring vim and vigour" is pretty unpretentious.
posted by DU at 5:52 PM on October 17, 2008 [3 favorites]


Where does kumquat rank?
posted by Donnie VandenBos at 5:53 PM on October 17, 2008


well, he obviously hasn't heard of the other calculuses out there.
posted by oonh at 5:53 PM on October 17, 2008


Obviously this blog post is by some retarded southern redneck.
posted by jock@law at 5:53 PM on October 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


"Stephan"? The correct name is Stephen, or better yet Steven, and preferably Steve. Calling yourself Stephan is equivalent to sucking absinthe through a sugar cube held between your teeth.

Don't trust him, he's not like regular people.
posted by George_Spiggott at 5:55 PM on October 17, 2008


If anybody can figure out what, exactly, are his criteria for "cool" versus "pretentious", let me know. This page has mystified be for years.
posted by colinmarshall at 5:55 PM on October 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


Garage? What do you call it? Car hole!

Man, is this fucking stupid.
posted by fixedgear at 5:56 PM on October 17, 2008 [12 favorites]


Gee, he's annoyed by "Civil War" (rather than "War of Northern Aggression"), "Underground Railroad", and "homophobe". Shocker.

I would've just simply quoted Shakespeare here, but since that's apparently pretentious and/or annoying, as apparently is calling Shakespeare "the Bard", I figure I might as well go whole hog:

To quote the Bard, the lady doth protest too much, methinks.
posted by Flunkie at 6:00 PM on October 17, 2008 [2 favorites]


I am honestly surprised by how very angry this dipshit's web page makes me.
posted by snuffleupagus at 6:01 PM on October 17, 2008 [18 favorites]


(Second, what the hell is a man of letters?)

You, sir, will never know.

Also: Against the Black Panthers? Positive mention of Hegel?

BURN [*/shoots heat vision]

posted by Minus215Cee at 6:02 PM on October 17, 2008


Not cool: anything from dem goddam libruls, like "soda" or "civil war" or (God Lord Christ Jesus have MERCY on your sinful souls, you librul wussy papists!) "social justice"

Cool: anything sounding masculine and warlike and Republican (like "shrapnel" or "armageddon") or makes you sound like Levi "I'm a fuckin redneck" Johnston ("whup-ass" and "whut up?"). also things the author thinks make him sound cool but dont realize how pretentious (and sometimes even French!) they are ("cul de sac" and "ennui").
posted by jock@law at 6:03 PM on October 17, 2008


Where does kumquat rank?

In the high upper reaches of the celestial pantheon of ultimate awesomeness.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:04 PM on October 17, 2008



Annoying/Pretentious:
libertarian
blogs
advertisements on blogs
this
posting an arbitrary list of words on the Internet other people shouldn't use.
posted by bukharin at 6:05 PM on October 17, 2008


Self-hating British person.

You can eliminate most of those annoying terms by simply never reading The NY Times Sunday (or Thursday) Styles section.
posted by Zambrano at 6:05 PM on October 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


Let me put this in the least pretentious way I can:

This list sucks and this guy seems like an asshole.
posted by defenestration at 6:06 PM on October 17, 2008


Stephan Kinsella ruling on news.

Links one and two; Drudge and Fox ... somewhat chilling.
posted by phoque at 6:07 PM on October 17, 2008


Is there any dudgeon OTHER than high dudgeon? Is there anything else you can wage, other than war? I think I'd like to wage a low dudgeon. An august low dudgeon.
posted by newdaddy at 6:07 PM on October 17, 2008 [3 favorites]


My big plan for 2004.

1. Randomly pick words and list them

2. ???

3. Incur rage
posted by fire&wings at 6:08 PM on October 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


Jejune? You have the temerity to say that I'm talking to you out of jejunosity? I am one of the most june people in all of the Russias!
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:09 PM on October 17, 2008 [2 favorites]


I really cannot see the relevance of this list.
posted by captainsohler at 6:10 PM on October 17, 2008


Yeah, and while I'm at it, my grandfather was legitimately named Stephen, or at least, that was the name that some officious dude at Ellis Island interpreted onto him. May he rest in peace, he was my favorite grandparent, and there was nothing pretentious about him in the least.
posted by newdaddy at 6:10 PM on October 17, 2008


I love a lot of those words. Guess I'm a pretentious asshole.

You'll take away my "writ large" when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.
posted by brundlefly at 6:12 PM on October 17, 2008


I do think that "pyjamas" is acceptable, but only in conjunction with "orangutan".
posted by colinmarshall at 6:12 PM on October 17, 2008 [3 favorites]


Christ, not one of these is even remotely annoying.

Okay, "realpolitick" rather than "realpolitik" is annoying, but I think he was actually perpetrating the misspelling rather than repudiating it. In any case, I'm not inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt, because this page just drips with caustic stupidity.
posted by decagon at 6:12 PM on October 17, 2008


OK, I think he's dead now.
posted by DU at 6:14 PM on October 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


The first half of the cool list is just words that happen to resonate with assonance.
posted by ageispolis at 6:18 PM on October 17, 2008 [2 favorites]


Pretentious? Moi?
*undershot jaw chuckle*
Hnn Hnn Hnn. Oh, I’m so droll.
Let’s go have a dry one on the verandah.
posted by Smedleyman at 6:20 PM on October 17, 2008


Quoting Boswell and/or Samuel Johnson

He quotes Samuel Johnson on his sidebar... Twice. He's not even a consistent asshole – oh yeah, he's a libertarian.
posted by defenestration at 6:21 PM on October 17, 2008 [6 favorites]


He gets a few points for the opaque Tolkien reference, though.
posted by George_Spiggott at 6:29 PM on October 17, 2008


Second, what the hell is a man of letters?

A mailman.
posted by jonmc at 6:31 PM on October 17, 2008 [6 favorites]


Tinny words: "pyjamas", "piping hot", "social justice", "cogitate"
Woody words: "cul-de-sac", "high dudgeon", "orangutan". "jejune", and of course "gorn"
posted by DU at 6:40 PM on October 17, 2008 [2 favorites]


who this ninja
posted by Greg Nog at 6:41 PM on October 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


He gets a few points for the opaque Tolkien reference, though

It's opaque enough that I missed it. Care to share?
posted by MasonDixon at 6:43 PM on October 17, 2008


Is there any dudgeon OTHER than high dudgeon?

Since I mentioned Macbeth upthread, I will point out: this edition of MacBeth has a fucking great footnote on 'dudgeon' (#46). Google books is how I re-discovered which play had 'dudgeon' in it in the first place, since all I remembered was someone getting out their dagger and saying something about dudgeon something something.

The little soliloquy is totally awesome, of course:

Is this a dagger which I see before me,
The handle toward my hand? — Come, let me clutch thee.
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible
To feeling as to sight? or art thou but
A dagger of the mind, a false creation,
Proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain?
I see thee yet, in form as palpable
As this which now I draw.
Thou marshall'st me the way that I was going; —
And such an instrument I was to use.
Mine eyes are made the fools o' the other senses,
Or else worth all the rest: — I see thee still;
And on thy blade and dudgeon gouts of blood,
Which was not so before.
posted by synaesthetichaze at 6:46 PM on October 17, 2008


Guy refers to himself as "Big Daddy".

The prosecution rests.
posted by djgh at 6:48 PM on October 17, 2008


Soda soda soda....Just had to say that since that what it says on the bottle on my table.
posted by bjgeiger at 6:49 PM on October 17, 2008


>> He gets a few points for the opaque Tolkien reference, though

> It's opaque enough that I missed it. Care to share?


One of his cool words was "cellar door".
posted by George_Spiggott at 6:52 PM on October 17, 2008


Personally, I've always felt words were best broken down by Woody versus Tinny designations.
posted by philip-random at 6:56 PM on October 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


Did I miss "douchenozzle" on the list? Maybe it's in his bio, assuming someone else wrote it.
posted by maxwelton at 7:03 PM on October 17, 2008


Points also for "pissed myself". When people leave out the "on", you tend to believe that they actually did. (same goes for "crapped [in] my pants")
posted by Zambrano at 7:05 PM on October 17, 2008


No.
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 7:06 PM on October 17, 2008


Dear Mefites: I want to be able to talk about the concept of "Deux ex machina" in films without actually using that term because I'll sound like a twit.
What term should I use?
posted by Tbola at 7:14 PM on October 17, 2008


what
posted by notashroom at 7:21 PM on October 17, 2008


DU: Tinny words: "pyjamas", "piping hot", "social justice", "cogitate"
Woody words: "cul-de-sac", "high dudgeon", "orangutan". "jejune", and of course "gorn"


Much better than "newspaper" or "litterbin".
posted by not_on_display at 7:23 PM on October 17, 2008


I have to agree, "pop" is awful and makes me stab people (when it refers to Coca-Cola).
posted by Mister_A at 7:28 PM on October 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


yeah this guy is an idiot. (srsly, is there anything cooler than an implosion?)
You can re-group, but can you group?
=idiot

(there's actually a really funny piece somewhere about (short fiction, possibly from the new yorker (and yes, if you live in the tri-state area new york is indeed 'the city') where the author uses all the words that have no useful or currently used antonym...something about everyone being 'gruntled' at a party...but yeah, you can group stuff...)
posted by sexyrobot at 7:28 PM on October 17, 2008


The rest of the list is retarded.
posted by Mister_A at 7:28 PM on October 17, 2008


Calling Philadelphia “Center” City

OK it's stabbin' time!!
posted by Mister_A at 7:29 PM on October 17, 2008


High twattage level.
posted by applemeat at 7:33 PM on October 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


Since I don't have a blog I'll have to list my own (undoubtedly irrational) dreaded words and phrases, in ascending order of my loathing"

"dialog" (v.) [..a gnat enters the room]

"My bad." [..a housefly]

"Combo Meal" [..horsefly]

"in regards to" [..hornet]

"Meh." [..winged roach]

"humble abode" (as in "welcome to my--") [Room explodes.]
posted by applemeat at 7:57 PM on October 17, 2008


"Meh" is a definite candidate.
posted by colinmarshall at 8:53 PM on October 17, 2008


Annoying and/or pretentious websites: "This One"

Wow. Very meta.
posted by rokusan at 8:59 PM on October 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


pyjamas is annoying/pretentious? I'm not sure about that, but I know my pajamas have feet on them and they are fucking awesome.
posted by sanka at 8:59 PM on October 17, 2008


Spoken like a true Douchenozzle, would that be Mr. K? I am really good with Douchenozzle, or is it spelled Nozzel? I think I would like it better with double O's, ie...D00ucheN00zle, is that not the schizzle? The D00schiZZle? Why D00schiZZle you care about lists, like the one this thread is about? Do Y00schniZZle really need some vaseline-lipped uptown creep, to lay out the verbal clout, in shades of What? What? Who does he think he IZZle? Consign him to the dustbuster of History, the dustbin of unctuous, uptown, twitchy, word turds is already full.
posted by Oyéah at 9:19 PM on October 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


Douchenozzle, cul de sac, I want to use these words in the same sentence, see, I did it! How cool is that? Huh? The visual just slays me.
posted by Oyéah at 9:24 PM on October 17, 2008


Do you think anyone has pointed out to him that about a thousand lines of text that behave in a link like manner but don't actually link to anything might make the annoying and/or pretentious cut?
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 9:27 PM on October 17, 2008


The guy doesn't thinks that 'hare' is pretentious and we should say 'rabbit'.

Apparently not realizing they're DIFFERENT FUCKING SPECIES.

Je repose ma valise.
posted by unSane at 9:30 PM on October 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


Annoying/pretentious: spelling Che Guevara as "Che Guivera." Same with "copasetic." (Barry Manilow, anyone?)

Tonight's coveted Persky's Restaurant Award goes to Horace Rumpole for cinematic jejunosity. And while we're on the subject, don't forget The Jejune Institute.
posted by rdone at 9:31 PM on October 17, 2008


Is there anything else you can wage, other than war?

A campaign, unless you're...

Bah, too easy.
posted by JaredSeth at 9:34 PM on October 17, 2008


A libertarian named Stephan, you say?

Well, that saved me a mouse-click.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:11 PM on October 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


"Piping hot" is sort of annoying, but I hadn't really noticed it until he brought it up.

Corporate buzzwords. That is suck.

Synergy. Power lunch. Monetize. Empowering. Impacting. Paradigm. Proactive. Value-add.
posted by krinklyfig at 10:32 PM on October 17, 2008 [2 favorites]


Hey wow some dude wrote his thoughts on a blog I did not know they could be used in that fashion
posted by regicide is good for you at 10:48 PM on October 17, 2008 [3 favorites]


What about faux-pas? Faux-pas is the most pretentious of them all. Just ask anyone who actually speaks French as their native language.
posted by Pseudology at 2:17 AM on October 18, 2008


Whuddin' tha hail yew tawkin' 'bout? I say faux-pas all the time! I went to the sto and bought sumpin' faux pa. Bought sumpin' faux ma, too.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 2:30 AM on October 18, 2008


Never mind faux-pas: try them with cul-de-sac. Excuse me Monsieur, but what bag's arse are you talking about, please?
posted by Phanx at 3:04 AM on October 18, 2008


Anything like this that objects to "Mentioning the alleged rock group Cream" is beyond stupid. Stephan Kinsella really, really needs to get over himself.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:31 AM on October 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


man of letters (“Edmund Wilson was a man of letters.” First, who the hell was Edmund Wilson? Second, what the hell is a man of letters?)

Oh, now I see - he's proud of his ignorance. Well then.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:35 AM on October 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


I can't look away; it's like a train wreck.

cordite (i.e., smell of gunpowder)

He thinks cordite is a smell. He does not know that cordite is a substance that has a smell, and that it is not gunpowder.

It's embarrassing to see someone making a public spectacle of their idiocy.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:42 AM on October 18, 2008


Wankspanner.
posted by mandal at 4:04 AM on October 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Who is N. Stephan Kinsella, and why does his web page merit consideration?
posted by scruss at 4:10 AM on October 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


N. Stephan just got owned.
posted by lukemeister at 5:29 AM on October 18, 2008


Che Guivera, realpolitick, copasetic, apocolypse, etc.

More like Stephan Kantspella, amirite?
posted by kuujjuarapik at 6:02 AM on October 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


I tried to be objective,
but then, about halfway through,
I wanted to kick his balls enough times
he would look like an upside-down U.

or

I would like to make him dearly wish the N. in his name stood for "Numbnuts".

(I can't decide which I like better.)

Also, he probably thinks "Cellar door" is a sly reference to "Donnie Darko".

Okay, I'm done.
posted by Enron Hubbard at 6:26 AM on October 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


So he's a self-absorbed ur-libertarian one-man wankfest? Seriously, what sort of megalomaniac thinks anyone gives a shit what he finds pretentious or cool? This is like McSweeney's, only written by 12 year-olds.
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 6:31 AM on October 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


awesome.
posted by nicolin at 7:03 AM on October 18, 2008


what the hell is a man of letters?

Watch and be amazed.
posted by Smart Dalek at 7:44 AM on October 18, 2008 [3 favorites]


That link redeemed the thread, Smart Dalek. Some badass fonts in there.
posted by everichon at 8:28 AM on October 18, 2008


I like how Kinsella thoughtfully provides both his outdoorsy, just kickin' it portrait in glorious hi-res, but also a formal portrait.
posted by everichon at 8:32 AM on October 18, 2008


Man of Letters redirects here if you search for it on Wikipedia. Obviously a disaster for society.
posted by blue_beetle at 8:43 AM on October 18, 2008


Annoying and Cool words? That's the kind of grandiosely self-conscious shit I wrote in my sekrit diary when I was a preteen. Why does he imagine that anybody else cares about his arbitrary, ignorant designations?
posted by GrammarMoses at 8:56 AM on October 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


[/defensiveness spawned by embarrassed recognition of younger self]
posted by GrammarMoses at 8:58 AM on October 18, 2008 [1 favorite]


Why the fuck was this even posted? It's old, it's stupid, it's from a dipshit.
posted by klangklangston at 9:01 AM on October 18, 2008 [3 favorites]


Shades of U and non-U.

What does the coy wallflower "N." before the given name stand for, I wonder. Smacks of non-U pretension a bit. Unless he's trying to be ironic. Is ironic still cool?

So hard to keep up with these things!
posted by IndigoJones at 9:05 AM on October 18, 2008


Norman, according to Wikipedia.
posted by lukemeister at 9:10 AM on October 18, 2008


Why the fuck was this even posted?

To get 94 comments. Also, because it has mystified me since I first discovered it, and I needed to share the weirdness.
posted by colinmarshall at 10:28 AM on October 18, 2008


Someone should email him so he could come defend his list.
posted by R. Mutt at 10:28 AM on October 18, 2008


Is there anything else you can wage, other than war?

*resists too-easy American joke*

Ah, a campaign?
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 10:42 AM on October 18, 2008


Pyjamas? Pretenious? How? Is sleeping in some kind of clothing passe or something now? Because really, when it gets cold, pyjamas are a good thing.
posted by sandraregina at 11:42 AM on October 18, 2008


I just came to add 'clusterfuck' to the list of cool words. Man, that's an awesome word. Clusterfuck.
posted by martinX's bellbottoms at 11:50 AM on October 18, 2008


Annoying and Pretentious Terms & Figures of Speech

Newspeak v.1
posted by clearly at 11:59 AM on October 18, 2008


I thought Smart Dalek's link would go here.
posted by ~ at 12:24 PM on October 18, 2008


Chowder = Yankee wannabe gumbo = idiot.
posted by anatinus at 1:03 PM on October 18, 2008 [2 favorites]


Okay, "realpolitick" rather than "realpolitik" is annoying, but I think he was actually perpetrating the misspelling rather than repudiating it.

Agreed. The guy likes himself, he really, really likes himself, just without much justification.
posted by Mental Wimp at 3:54 PM on October 18, 2008


File under: profound personal insecurity, examples of
posted by Miko at 7:01 PM on October 18, 2008


what kind of moron thinks the phrase "civil war" is annoying?
posted by paultopia at 12:34 AM on October 19, 2008


Dumb list. I could spend ten minutes describing conditions in the stock market or I could talk about a bull/bear market and have a good number of people understand me instantly --- its just efficient use of words.

As for pajamas, I think its a good word but I had a former girlfriend (English was her second language) coin the term "sleeping trousers" for them.
posted by Deep Dish at 12:53 AM on October 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


what kind of moron thinks the phrase "civil war" is annoying?
A southerner.
*I grew up in Texas*</small
posted by lukemeister at 9:49 AM on October 19, 2008


... and I'm clearly a moron, because I don't know to close html tags.
posted by lukemeister at 9:51 AM on October 19, 2008


"To get 94 comments. Also, because it has mystified me since I first discovered it, and I needed to share the weirdness."

UR DOON IT RONG

(Your last post was good for Metafilter. This one is crap.)
posted by klangklangston at 10:28 AM on October 19, 2008


"Sharing the weirdness" is catchier than "community weblog".
posted by lukemeister at 10:58 AM on October 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


Seconding the Persky's award for Horace. (if ever a Woody Allen movie deserved a Lebowski-like following, it's Love and Death)
posted by condour75 at 5:56 AM on October 20, 2008


It's "Will Rogers".
posted by Quonab at 12:36 PM on October 20, 2008


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