A Birthday Party Gone Terribly Wrong
October 31, 2008 5:49 PM   Subscribe

A chimpanzee has about five times the strength of an average human. They have been known to maul and kill people. Recently St. James Davis, a former NASCAR driver, and his wife, LaDonna, decided to throw a birthday party for Mo, a chimp in a wildlife sanctuary who had been their pet until he bit off a woman's finger. Two other chimps broke out of their cages and brutally attacked St. James, severing his foot and testicles, and chewing off most of his face.
posted by Autarky (18 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: poster's request -- mathowie



 
Wow, I just watched Planet of the Apes (1968) last night.
posted by lee at 5:54 PM on October 31, 2008


I'd be a pretty aggressive guy too if I had a three-inch penis.
posted by Citizen Premier at 5:57 PM on October 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


We presently have the upper hand, so maybe we should so something before they organize.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 5:58 PM on October 31, 2008


Recently?
posted by MrMoonPie at 6:00 PM on October 31, 2008


Moe recently escaped and remained at large in a near by woods. on preview, yes recently!
posted by hortense at 6:01 PM on October 31, 2008


If only we could teach them to be more like us.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 6:03 PM on October 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


Jeez. That's no way to treat folks who bring you a cake.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 6:04 PM on October 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


How could something so beautiful go so horribly wrong?
posted by washburn at 6:08 PM on October 31, 2008


Chimpanzees can turn surly if not handled properly.
posted by snofoam at 6:08 PM on October 31, 2008


Poor little guys snapped.
posted by batmonkey at 6:13 PM on October 31, 2008


Recently?

Yeah, exactly. This is a double. Fun to re-live the memories of primate genitalia attacks, though.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 6:15 PM on October 31, 2008


Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!
posted by PeterMcDermott at 6:16 PM on October 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


It's my party and I'll chew your testicle and face off if I want to.
posted by fire&wings at 6:16 PM on October 31, 2008 [4 favorites]


Haven't we all wanted to chew off the face of a former NASCAR driver at one point in our lives?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:18 PM on October 31, 2008 [3 favorites]


My kids get like that after birthday cake too.
posted by unSane at 6:18 PM on October 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


Poor little guys snapped.

Pfft. Who here hasn't woken up from a big night on the town to find you've chewed some dudes face and torn of his foot. And balls.
posted by markr at 6:19 PM on October 31, 2008


Of? Off dammit. OFF.
posted by markr at 6:21 PM on October 31, 2008


Recently?
Posted 3/4/2005 7:31 AM Updated 3/4/2005 8:51 PM

Still. Yikes.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 6:21 PM on October 31, 2008


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