Comments on: Typo-induced time warp

Typo-induced time warp

mathowie — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:12:45 -0800

The story of a speeding ticket, in three acts (click to see full-sized, readable versions). The Cliffs Notes version: man gets speeding ticket complete with a typo on the date of issue, man responds to police with amusing tales of time-travel, infants driving, and automobile prototypes. I won't spoil the ending.

By: diogenes

diogenes — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:18:48 -0800

Can I spoil the ending?

By: Faint of Butt

Faint of Butt — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:21:16 -0800

The police officer was a ghost the entire time!

By: HuronBob

HuronBob — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:21:38 -0800

Flux capacitor... that is all

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:28:04 -0800

1800cc's of grunt Wicked awesome band name.

By: Cool Papa Bell

Cool Papa Bell — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:30:44 -0800

Can I spoil the ending? Voldemort is Harry's father!

By: Dr-Baa

Dr-Baa — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:32:35 -0800

IT WAS ALL A DREAM.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:33:17 -0800

If Superman drives his car at light speed in reverse, he can turn back time. He can find a way. He'll take back those words that hurt you, and and you'll stay. He can reach the stars; he'll give them all to you. Then you'll love him, love him like you used to do.

By: DU

DU — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:35:27 -0800

If you find you can't stop yourself from reading the below spoiler, at least don't ruin the hilarious ending for your friends or coworkers: [SPOILER] he received a bland form letter waiving the ticket [/SPOILER]

By: moonmilk

moonmilk — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:35:27 -0800

'cause his hair is still curly and his eyes are still blue.

By: rtha

rtha — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:36:02 -0800

So the next time someone posts an AskMe about getting out of a traffic ticket, we can all point to this FPP, yes? Excellent.

By: moonmilk

moonmilk — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:36:04 -0800

Argh! Less than 2 seconds between preview and post and DU still managed to sneak in.

By: mazola

mazola — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:36:34 -0800

He fixes the cable?

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:39:35 -0800

Typo-induced time warp Can you really hand write a typo? Wouldn't that be more of a writo?

By: middleclasstool

middleclasstool — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:41:02 -0800

He fixes the cable? Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.

By: bondcliff

bondcliff — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:46:22 -0800

Given this is on Metafilter and it has to do with the police, my guess is it ends with him getting tazed.

By: LordSludge

LordSludge — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:48:08 -0800

Um, wastegates aren't noisy -- blow-off valves often are. (Or are we calling them both "wastegates" now?) </pedant>

By: teabag

teabag — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:50:19 -0800

I feel like if this happened in the states, the mailer would be sent off to Guantanamo or some other absurd form of punishment.

By: Thorzdad

Thorzdad — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:52:06 -0800

Funny that the police dept. letterhead has a the image of a camera as a background faux-watermark.

By: Lynsey

Lynsey — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:52:17 -0800

This is awesome! Thx, Matt!

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:54:29 -0800

Forrest Whitaker's girlfriend turns out to be a dude.

By: zippy

zippy — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:56:18 -0800

Wicked awesome band name. It's like 10cc times 180 and gruntier.

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:58:35 -0800

Sentenced to time served.

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:59:01 -0800

Keyser Soze is your father.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 11:05:20 -0800

Oh, crap. I thought I fixed that the last time I was in 1974. Fuck it. I'm leaving it. Last time I tried to fastidiously iron out such petty little details in the fabric of space time I returned to the present to find dinosaurs in suits running the whole show. Just imagine Exxon-Mobil, IBM or Halliburton run by dinosaurs. Sure, the cold-blooded way they did business meant that they'd already colonized a dozen star systems, but it wasn't any place for a soft, tasty morsel of a humanoid. Yeah, the time cops were already here yesterday. I served a thousand year sentence watching "Quantum Leap" and they dropped me back home last night. They say next time it'll be 10,000 years of "Small Wonder". If you'll excuse me I'm going to go burn my time machine.

By: giraffe

giraffe — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 11:08:19 -0800

It was Earth all along!

By: The White Hat

The White Hat — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 11:14:14 -0800

Scrooge kills Fezziwig!

By: The Light Fantastic

The Light Fantastic — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 11:20:47 -0800

An oldy but a goody.

By: shakespeherian

shakespeherian — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 11:21:18 -0800

The cop gets put in a giant wicker man and burned up.

By: DU

DU — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 11:28:43 -0800

Turned out the speeding ticket WAS A COOKBOOK

By: fearfulsymmetry

fearfulsymmetry — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 11:30:40 -0800

He was driving a sledge

By: zamboni

zamboni — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 11:32:58 -0800

TO PROTECT AND SERVE MAN!

By: Dr-Baa

Dr-Baa — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 11:39:14 -0800

The trees caused it.

By: kuujjuarapik

kuujjuarapik — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 11:45:58 -0800

U.S. version: Fined $1000 for violation of Chapter 268: Section 6. False reports, or smartassing in testimony before state departments, and another $50 for violation of Chapter 268: Section 24. Neglect or refusal to assist officer in correctly issuing citation.

By: cashman

cashman — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 11:49:45 -0800

He actually issued the ticket to..... himself! - the officer was in an accident with the speeder and horribly disfigured, and then his "wife" had his face reconstructed to look like the speeder.

By: [user was fined for this post]

[user was fined for this post] — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 11:49:58 -0800

I feel like if this happened in the states, the mailer would be sent off to Guantanamo or some other absurd form of punishment. After enjoying a brief fantasy of having the wit to compose such a letter myself in similar circumstances, this was my approximate thought as well. Do I really think I'd get sent away as a dangerous terrah-ist? No, but it took me a few seconds of serious thought to reject the possibility, and that's scary enough. I do think it's entirely possible that my license number would end up on the local Highway Patrol's unofficial list of people-we-do-not-like.

By: willmize

willmize — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 11:50:16 -0800

Spock, who was riding shotgun at the time, dies, thereby sacrificing himself for the greater good of getting out of a speeding ticket. He goes into the radiation chamber that was powering the vehicle and as fast as you can say "Picard's a damn bloody Borg!", he's dead.

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 11:53:13 -0800

HE HAD THE TIME, NOW, BUT HIS GLASSES ARE BROKEN!

By: papercake

papercake — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 11:54:51 -0800

Rosebud was his sled. Or a Honda saloon. I don't remember which, now.

By: Shfishp

Shfishp — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 11:55:52 -0800

I want a Honda Saloon.

By: dersins

dersins — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 11:58:40 -0800

SOYLENT GREEN KILLS DUMBLEDORE!

By: kittyprecious

kittyprecious — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 12:00:10 -0800

AND A JET ENGINE HAD TO CRUSH HIM OR PATRICK SWAYZE WOULD START MOLESTING CHILDREN AGAIN SOME MORE. Since when is a saloon not a drinking establishment and how awesome would it be if it transformed from that into a car with autopilot which took you home and ejected you straight into bed?

By: srboisvert

srboisvert — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 12:00:40 -0800

The American version of Life on Mars just isn't good. It is like watching an Football Quarterback dance.

By: meech

meech — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 12:01:33 -0800

1800cc's of grunt Wicked awesome band name Only if you wanted to be occasionally mistaken for Russell Crowe's band Thirty Odd Foot of Grunt. You don't.

By: strangeleftydoublethink

strangeleftydoublethink — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 12:04:55 -0800

He shouted, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!" out of his window.

By: Samuel Farrow

Samuel Farrow — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 12:08:37 -0800

What a small world we live in - FPP to my friend Mike Riversdale's blog. Hi Mike!

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 12:11:52 -0800

Cain KILLS Abel.

By: WolfDaddy

WolfDaddy — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 12:17:02 -0800

That was NOT his father's Oldsmobile!

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 12:27:09 -0800

He cut off their tails with a carving knife.

By: Joey Michaels

Joey Michaels — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 12:33:50 -0800

The temperature of the universe eventually evens out as we experience heat death.

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 12:35:52 -0800

I think this involved an extremely fast conveyor belt.

By: stupidsexyFlanders

stupidsexyFlanders — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 12:36:34 -0800

When Obama is president every speeding ticket will be waived upon submission of a creative explanation letter.

By: stupidsexyFlanders

stupidsexyFlanders — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 12:37:21 -0800

(The deadline for "When Obama is president" jokes is only about 30 hours off, folks)

By: dersins

dersins — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 12:41:51 -0800

WHEN OBAMA IS PRESIDENT HE WILL USE HIS MAGICAL TIME POWERS TO EXTEND THAT DEADLINE!

By: not_on_display

not_on_display — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 12:51:08 -0800

I know what was on the radio when he was pulled over.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 12:52:32 -0800

When Obama is president Every man shall be king Every woman a king too Evey child a king And animals will be kings And plants will be kings And cheese will be king The king of food Although ketchup will be King of condiments As will mustard It will be a shared kingdom Shartner will be Starfleet King Which, as we all know, Is all he ever wanted anyway And Obama? Obama? He will be king of hope And king of my dreams Where I will be king too And the ketchup and mustard Will perform songs About how great it is That everybody gets to be The kind of something.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 12:52:57 -0800

Whoops. The King of something.

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 12:57:18 -0800

In Socialist Obama Administration speeding ticket waives you! Ha!

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 12:58:31 -0800

Does it finally wendell?

By: cavalier

cavalier — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:09:23 -0800

Yeah, the camera on the letterhead of the police letter is just so odd...

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:14:36 -0800

He dies at the end, but then comes back and disappears it's okay, or something

By: amuseDetachment

amuseDetachment — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:15:01 -0800

Voodoo Dildo MY ASS!

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:16:04 -0800

Yeah, the camera on the letterhead of the police letter is just so odd... Is it a camera or a radar gun?

By: cribcage

cribcage — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:16:19 -0800

Nice. Bonus points for the Spaceballs reference.

By: lord_wolf

lord_wolf — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:21:30 -0800

So the cops knew internal affairs was setting them up the whole time? U.S. version: Fined $1000 for violation of Chapter 268: Section 6. False reports, or smartassing in testimony before state departments, and another $50 for violation of Chapter 268: Section 24. Neglect or refusal to assist officer in correctly issuing citation. Not to mention a bunch of people who describe themselves with phrases like "pretty much as far to the left/as anti-authoritarian as you can get" would talk about how lucky he was the police didn't show up at his house after receiving that letter and tase him, because he totally would have deserved it had they done so.

By: dunkadunc

dunkadunc — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:30:24 -0800

Nobody deserves to get tazed for writing a letter. Sorry.

By: davemee

davemee — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:31:17 -0800

TL;DR. But can anyone tell me exactly how fast this speeding ticket has to go to reverse time?

By: arnicae

arnicae — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:37:51 -0800

well done, Sir. (tips hat)

By: cashman

cashman — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:41:10 -0800

But can anyone tell me exactly how fast this speeding ticket has to go to reverse time? I don't know, but I know your momma is more fast than that. OH SNAP NO HE DI INT!

By: homunculus

homunculus — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:45:01 -0800

German police seek speeding British Muppet

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:47:48 -0800

But can anyone tell me exactly how fast this speeding ticket has to go to reverse time Ask Buster Casey. Just don't let him kiss you.

By: jozxyqk

jozxyqk — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:50:49 -0800

But can anyone tell me exactly how fast this speeding ticket has to go to reverse time? 88 miles per hour, I thought everyone knew that.

By: blue_beetle

blue_beetle — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 14:17:04 -0800

This American Life on Mars.

By: An Infinity Of Monkeys

An Infinity Of Monkeys — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 14:18:26 -0800

Accordingly, should you find yourself having a fit (or just being out of your element), it's your civic duty to drink in a Honda saloon.

By: shakespeherian

shakespeherian — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 14:23:04 -0800

At the end there's a chase between a car and a horse. It's like, it's like technology versus horse.

By: dirty lies

dirty lies — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 14:24:19 -0800

Plaid.

By: louche mustachio

louche mustachio — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 14:27:31 -0800

U.S. version: This may be apocryphal, but ... Apparently a friend of my aunt received a ticket in the mail. He had been clocked speeding by an automated radar station with a camera. On the ticket was a record of the date, time, his speed, and an itty bitty picture of his license plate, as proof of his indiscretion. He was none too pleased about being caught speeding by a machine, so he sent them an itty bitty picture of the fine money. In reply, the police sent him an itty bitty picture of handcuffs.

By: subbes

subbes — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 15:13:37 -0800

He stops running just before the finish line and smirks.

By: francesca too

francesca too — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 15:19:07 -0800

Happy ending or not, I still think cops are all fascist you know what.

By: m@

m@ — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 15:32:29 -0800

He wakes up in his hotel room in a bathtub full of ice, both kidneys a lung and his spleen gone and there's a note that says "call 911 and don't drive 116 kmph"

By: nickyskye

nickyskye — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 15:59:34 -0800

If there is any error on a misdemeanor ticket it is usually invalid,eg if the date is miswritten or the address of the ticket given. So, once the author realized the officer had put his birthday in the part of the form meant for the date of the misdemeanor, it was a done deal, he'd win by calling out that error. But he didn't just call it out. He poetically, hilariously called it out. What elegant humor. Totally loved that.

By: Ron Thanagar

Ron Thanagar — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 16:19:08 -0800

They kill his wife and kid, so he hunts them down in the last of the V-8 Interceptors?

By: lumpenprole

lumpenprole — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 16:40:47 -0800

IT'S A ZOO!

By: adipocere

adipocere — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 17:09:40 -0800

The perfect touch was not the smart-ass time travel, but the bit about crawling at some ludicrous speed, but allowing as how the police officer must have held the speed gun upside down. That was delicious.

By: Big_B

Big_B — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 17:28:06 -0800

I wouldn't be surprised if this gentleman now gets extra special care from the cops.

By: Bonzai

Bonzai — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 19:38:52 -0800

84 comments, 90% smart ass. I thought of something snarky too but it would just get lost in the noise.

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 19:56:58 -0800

84 comments, 90% smart ass. I thought of something snarky too but it would just get lost in the noise. So instead you just posted something snarky.

By: no1hatchling

no1hatchling — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 23:07:21 -0800

LordSludge, you're not as much a pedant as you think. Wastegates can be very noisy, if they're not routed back into the exhaust system. And that's not as uncommon as you might think among the go-faster crowd.

By: Nauip

Nauip — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 10:23:09 -0800

But can anyone tell me exactly how fast this speeding ticket has to go to reverse time? google can