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Free stuff for voting!
November 4, 2008 4:13 AM   Subscribe

Today, we Americans exercise one of our most sacred rights - the right to free stuff.

Other free stuff you can pick up for voting:
Free sex toy (probably not SFW)
Free piercings
Free Chik-Fil-A
Free flu shot

Lots more region-specific free stuff.
posted by backseatpilot (40 comments total)

 
In Merrifield VA, you can get a free week at a Gold's Gym if you vote! Of course, that means you're in Merrifield, so you'll probably want to step in front of traffic first.
posted by inigo2 at 4:23 AM on November 4, 2008


Huh, my polling place also hosts a flu shot clinic, but not at the same time. They should. Old people love voting, and need flu shots.
posted by Science! at 4:32 AM on November 4, 2008 [2 favorites]


The current administration's policies were so costly that kicking them out of office should be enough of a gift.
posted by gman at 4:41 AM on November 4, 2008


Oooo, now that's a maverick! (/palinimpersonation)
posted by not_on_display at 4:50 AM on November 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


The free sex toy should really be a butt plug because you know that whoever gets elected, at some point you're gonna be getting fucked in the ass again. Might as well start preparing for the inevitable when you can.

(Though I fully believe that Obama will at least provide a reach-around to go with the ass-fucking.)
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:53 AM on November 4, 2008 [3 favorites]


GIMME A CHICKEN SANDWICH AND SOME FREEDOM FRIES.
FOR FREE.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:59 AM on November 4, 2008 [2 favorites]


Giving away anything free for voting is against federal law.

Also free coffee at starbucksand ice cream at Ben & Jerry's
posted by knile at 5:06 AM on November 4, 2008


Supposedly the 9:30 Club here in DC will have a buy 1 ticket, get 1 ticket free deal for shows, for tickets bought online tomorrow from 10:00 to 11:00.
posted by exogenous at 5:11 AM on November 4, 2008


We're getting free Starbucks!

I voted early
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 5:17 AM on November 4, 2008


Supposedly the 9:30 Club here in DC will have a buy 1 ticket, get 1 ticket free deal for shows, for tickets bought online tomorrow from 10:00 to 11:00.

This is true; got that email last night.
posted by inigo2 at 5:18 AM on November 4, 2008


Max 2 free tix for any specific show.
posted by inigo2 at 5:18 AM on November 4, 2008


I love the idea of that VoteAndVax program. You can even download a peer-reviewed article discussing their strategy of reaching more communities in need of flu shots, and the potential for expansion into other services such as cancer screenings.
posted by pants at 5:18 AM on November 4, 2008


I love the idea of a VoteAndVAX program.
posted by Wolfdog at 5:46 AM on November 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


Where I voted this morning one of the poll workers was routinely hollering reminders that the "I Voted!" sticker gets them free coffee at Starbucks and ice cream at Ben & Jerry's.
posted by ardgedee at 6:00 AM on November 4, 2008


We're getting free Starbucks!

I just got my free cup and so I will hold back as ordinarily I would dis this franchise.
posted by Pollomacho at 6:08 AM on November 4, 2008


This morning I'm planning on foregoing my own home-made cappuccino as well as the free Starbucks coffee to support one of my locally owned independent coffee houses. Now THAT's mavericky!
posted by Eekacat at 6:19 AM on November 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


Also, don't forget the free taxi rides to/from the polls for seniors and disabled in DC. Not sure if other places are doing this, but it does count as a freebie.
posted by Pollomacho at 6:22 AM on November 4, 2008


I didn't get a sticker because I don't have a nearby Ben and Jerry's or Krispy Kreme and Starbucks is the devil, but now that I got into work and learned about FREE CHICKEN I'm kind of angry at myself.
posted by sjuhawk31 at 6:28 AM on November 4, 2008


Shhh, exogenous...I need to get Gwar tickets!

No donuts or chicken or ice cream near here...and everytime the Starbucks has a freebie the line is insane. I don't get people who probably make $50 an hour standing in line for 30 minutes to get a $3 cup of coffee.
posted by JoanArkham at 6:34 AM on November 4, 2008


I love the DC representation so far.

And @ the 9:30: Loretta Lynn, here I come!
posted by now i'm piste at 6:45 AM on November 4, 2008


free coffee at Starbucks
Ah, no wonder that line was so long.
posted by inigo2 at 7:04 AM on November 4, 2008


I'm planning on getting lots of free kisses from grateful DC ladies tonight at any of the many fantastic parties. In fact I'm pretty sure this town is going to be an amazing madhouse for the next month. Chocolate City baby!
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:04 AM on November 4, 2008


I walked into Starbucks this morning and, flush with the excitement of participating in our electoral system, I marched up to the counter and said with glee "I just VOTED!"

The kid behind the counter blinked and said "Great." After a moment. "Oh, you want your free cup of coffee?"

I was somewhat deflated by his less than enthusiastic response. And the coffee? It didn't taste very good, really.
posted by papercake at 7:39 AM on November 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


Heh. My husband and I were discussing the free sex toys last night in bed. While the men's free toy (the Maverick sleeve) isn't very useful or desirable --especially if you have a loving partner-- the woman's (silver bullet) is very nice. What amazed us is that these items are not cheap. If there was a Babeland shop near us, we would definitely take them up on their offer. I can only assume that they believe they can make up the loss by bringing in lots of new customers. It was a great idea to associate a sex shop with feelings of good will (doing your patriotic duty.)

As someone who voted two weeks ago, I don't plan to cash in on any freebies. However I was pleasantly surprised to receive a free Obama-Biden 08 car magnet in the mail yesterday. I forgot I was getting it in return for a donation.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:46 AM on November 4, 2008


Fresh Krispy Kreme and Gwar tix to boot? This democracy thing is sweet!
posted by FatherDagon at 7:50 AM on November 4, 2008


There also appears large free doses of America is exceptionally progressive compared to all you other backward western nations on serving too.
posted by srboisvert at 8:07 AM on November 4, 2008


Fresh Krispy Kreme and Gwar tix to boot? This democracy thing is sweet!

Truly, I can get pumped up on caffeine, filled full of grease and sugar, have a guy in a loincloth and rubber mask vomit on me, and choose the leader of the free world! How awesome is that?
posted by Pollomacho at 8:09 AM on November 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


No freebies for me, alas. I didn't even get a sticker, cause WA phased them out for absentee ballots. :( And we don't have a Krispy Kreme, a Babeland, a Chik-a-fila, or a Ben & Jerrys. I only drink foo-foo drinks at Starbucks, alas...although I did note that the drive-thru line at the one near work was even longer than usual.
posted by epersonae at 8:17 AM on November 4, 2008


apparently it's actually illegal to give out free stuff to encourage voting... as it is to give out stuff to discourage voting
posted by Sam.Burdick at 8:22 AM on November 4, 2008


Free Chicken

Careful, it might be a magic trick illusion.

Paraphrase from the WFLD (Fox News Chicago) evening news story last night regarding freebies for people who have voted.

"Yep, ice cream, coffee, and chicken! Lots of good reasons to get out and vote tomorrow."

Agreed. Lots of good reasons. I would say that one might be a little more important than the others, but hey, you know, free coffee. It's not like you can get that in hundreds of places any day of the year!
posted by SpiffyRob at 8:31 AM on November 4, 2008


apparently it's actually illegal to give out free stuff to encourage voting... as it is to give out stuff to discourage voting

Per Slate, it's a felony, and Starbuck will now give free coffee today to anyone: http://www.slate.com/id/2203665/
posted by aught at 8:56 AM on November 4, 2008


... except then you're getting Star Bucks coffee. Their coffee really isn't special, until you add all the flavors and sweeteners, which aren't free.

I'm happy just to vote (though a free doughnut never hurts).
posted by filthy light thief at 9:38 AM on November 4, 2008


My husband and I were discussing the free sex toys last night in bed. While the men's free toy (the Maverick sleeve) isn't very useful or desirable --especially if you have a loving partner...

What does love have to do with wanting to stick your wang in things??
posted by bizwank at 9:39 AM on November 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


None of your bizwank.
posted by gman at 10:16 AM on November 4, 2008


It looks like you could maybe use that thing to insulate your cup of Starbucks coffee. I mean it's certainly worth a try, give it to the Starbucks person and say "could you put that in this, please?"
posted by Wolfdog at 10:25 AM on November 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


I don't get people who probably make $50 an hour standing in line for 30 minutes to get a $3 cup of coffee.

The $50/hr jobs typically don't dock you for stepping out for coffee.
posted by electroboy at 10:48 AM on November 4, 2008


I don't get people who probably make $50 an hour standing in line for 30 minutes to get a $3 cup of coffee.

The $50/hr jobs typically don't dock you for stepping out for coffee.


People that get paid $50/hr get paid on salary.
posted by Pollomacho at 10:58 AM on November 4, 2008


Well, yes but...it's the principle of the thing. I guess after working as a contractor for years, I tend to think of my time as being worth X amount per hour.

I am quite excited about my free iced tea for lunch at Teaism though!
posted by JoanArkham at 11:25 AM on November 4, 2008


all i've wanted for the past 2 elections i've voted in nyc is a 'i voted today' sticker. where's my sticker!?
posted by fuzzypantalones at 12:11 PM on November 4, 2008


People that get paid $50/hr get paid on salary.

Plumbers?
posted by rokusan at 1:22 PM on November 4, 2008


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