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Steroids Saved My So Called Life?
November 9, 2008 5:02 PM   Subscribe

Steroids Saved My Life. Enjoy watching ten episodes of a pasty, skinny Canadian gain 20+ pounds of muscle, a luxurious tan, a website and a new chemical habit.
posted by YoBananaBoy (57 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite

 
I assume there won't be time-lapse footage of his steroid induce ball-shrinkage. Kid, a little advice, built like a house=hung like a mouse.
posted by jonmc at 5:10 PM on November 9, 2008 [4 favorites]


Heh. One steroid cycle later, he's still weak as hell. Nice 50-pound shoulder press, Arnold.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 5:13 PM on November 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


This should go well with anorexiaFTW.com (site motto: Anorexia. Best Diet or Bestestest Diet?)
posted by DU at 5:16 PM on November 9, 2008


Yeah, I was amazed at how little the additional weight in that first episode did for him.

This is an example of something that kind of irritates me about web-based projects; why don't people privately follow a workout routine without making a big video to-do about it? Why be such an attention whore? Isn't beefing yourself up enough of a reward, without recording everything on video and trying to publicize something that, after all, isn't that remarkable.

He seems to be thinking that he's really amazing for trying to bulk up, which puzzles me.
posted by jayder at 5:18 PM on November 9, 2008


He seems to be thinking that he's really amazing for trying to bulk up, which puzzles me.

Well, as a skinny guy, I can tell you that the media bombards you with messages saying that skinny is not the ideal body type. Of course, then I grew up and realized that the media and reality don't always agree. This kid hasn't got the message yet, and sadly is going to publicly damage himself in the process.
posted by jonmc at 5:23 PM on November 9, 2008 [2 favorites]


If he wanted to be unhealthy but feel cool, why didn't he just start smoking?
posted by Astro Zombie at 5:25 PM on November 9, 2008 [24 favorites]


why don't people privately follow a workout routine without making a big video to-do about it? Why be such an attention whore?

One possible answer from the site:

Peter is a recent graduate of the Vancouver Film School, and is looking to pursue a filmmaking career, focussing on writing and directing.

This is a piece of self-promotion. He's hoping the notoriety associated with using OH NOES TEH ROIDS will catch the eye of someone who can help his career.
posted by jason's_planet at 5:32 PM on November 9, 2008 [3 favorites]


You US folk don't understand. In Canada, it's almost impossible to get the strength to build a website without using steriods.
posted by grounded at 5:35 PM on November 9, 2008 [19 favorites]


Bigger Faster Stronger did it better.
posted by roger ackroyd at 5:38 PM on November 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


Must be all that back bacon.
posted by jonmc at 5:39 PM on November 9, 2008


If he quits taking the steroids after ten weeks he probably won't see any of the Lyle Alzado type effects. The stunt might make him into a body obsessed jerkoff, though.
posted by Burhanistan at 5:39 PM on November 9, 2008


In order to add weight to my sticklike frame, I pursued a very rigorous regimen during college: I subsisted largely on pizza, soda, omelettes, and MSG. It was difficult, but I managed to add forty pounds by senior year.
posted by sonic meat machine at 5:43 PM on November 9, 2008 [3 favorites]


Pathetic.
posted by Manhasset at 5:44 PM on November 9, 2008


Peter is a recent graduate of the Vancouver Film School, and is looking to pursue a filmmaking career, focussing on writing and directing.

Not to be "snarky," but I really hope this isn't his best work. I didn't find the one episode I looked at to be very engrossing. The video game segments were annoying and there wasn't much to hold the viewer's attention.
posted by jayder at 5:47 PM on November 9, 2008


Primobolan and dbol with a shot of Old GrandDad saved my ass from a sex life.
posted by shockingbluamp at 5:47 PM on November 9, 2008


Bigger Faster Stronger did it better.

Yep. Worth watching that documentary.
posted by ericb at 5:48 PM on November 9, 2008


So this is just like Supersize Me, but slightly healthier.
posted by isopraxis at 5:50 PM on November 9, 2008


There's a book called Muscle by Sam Fussel that's reccomended too. (and I should add that I have no problem with bodybuilders and weightlifters and I'm not just saying that so they don't kick my scrawny ass. It's just that you shouldn't do it for the wrong reasons and you shouldn't use 'roids).
posted by jonmc at 5:50 PM on November 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


ya, things like this. They really make me hate having a body.
posted by The Whelk at 6:01 PM on November 9, 2008


This is only slightly better than that daft "artist" and her countdown-to-suicide blog. Slightly.
posted by CKmtl at 6:08 PM on November 9, 2008


I cannot decide whether the extensive liquor bottle collection behind the fellow's kitchen table was included in the shot for irony ("more about my healthy lifestyle") or by accident. Heavy drinking is another way of gaining weight, of course.
posted by terranova at 6:20 PM on November 9, 2008


Skinny guys are hot. Just putting that out there.
posted by peggynature at 6:48 PM on November 9, 2008 [2 favorites]


We will have this informaiton online shortly.

I can't wiat!
posted by turgid dahlia at 7:00 PM on November 9, 2008


Haven't watched it yet, but lemme guess... he's trying to be the modern Charles Atlas a la Morgan Spurlock. Kind of a literal "Super Size Me," amirite?
posted by miss lynnster at 7:27 PM on November 9, 2008


Skinny guys are hot. Just putting that out there.

*turns sideways. disappears.*
posted by jonmc at 7:29 PM on November 9, 2008


What the hell is "homo milk" . . . wait, never mind.
posted by nola at 7:31 PM on November 9, 2008 [2 favorites]


Kind of a literal "Super Size Me," amirite?

youisrite.

But apparently the modern Charles Atlas is Vince DelMonte, judging by the Google ad. Entertainingly, if you search for his name, two of the three Sponsored Links are some variant of "scam, scam, this guy is a super scam".
posted by CKmtl at 7:33 PM on November 9, 2008


and I should add that I have no problem with bodybuilders and weightlifters and I'm not just saying that so they don't kick my scrawny ass.

In my experience jon, it's the wiry ones you gotta watch out for. I've seen one to many big guys get hammered down by a skinny kid.
posted by nola at 7:40 PM on November 9, 2008


Having read some of his blog, the guy sounds like a complete loser. He basically admits that this is his first time ever working out (excluding a brief period in college). He whines and whines and whines about how it isn't wrong for him to do something illegal in the name of self improvement. But he never tried to put on weight without steroids.

Complete attention-whore wuss.
posted by HighTechUnderpants at 7:43 PM on November 9, 2008


He was really skinny before. Probably unhealthy skinny. I'm sure it's possible to take anabolic steroids in a reasonably responsible way. I'm not even going to assume that what he is doing, steroids included is bad for his health. I hate his videos though, amazingly tedious and juvenile.
posted by I Foody at 7:50 PM on November 9, 2008


Eh, I liked the video game segments. And steroids can be taken responsibly, they are proscribed for lots of people. And being 6'10" and 138 pounds doesn't seem very healthy at all.
posted by delmoi at 8:14 PM on November 9, 2008


In my experience jon, it's the wiry ones you gotta watch out for. I've seen one to many big guys get hammered down by a skinny kid.

I'm no expert, but usually the thicker muscles have a lot of intramuscular fat, which helps them have a lot of endurance, while really strong muscles might not be that thick. But like I said, I don't really know.
posted by delmoi at 8:16 PM on November 9, 2008


Holy crap, this guy's a poor deluded jerk! Damned if that doesn't make for good TV.
posted by not_on_display at 8:24 PM on November 9, 2008


delmoi: And being 6'10" and 138 pounds doesn't seem very healthy at all.

He's 6"1'.

But imagine Manute Bol on steroids!!
posted by not_on_display at 8:26 PM on November 9, 2008


And steroids can be taken responsibly....

Arguably everyone reading this is using steroids right this very minute.

OK, "shocking truism aside" (where are those drudge sirens when you need them) I've actually met a medical doctor who believes that it won't be long before a low level dosing of human grows hormone will be a standard part of gerontological medicine.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 8:51 PM on November 9, 2008


Did this kid try asking a doctor about his little lack-of-weight problem? If he works out and absolutely cannot gain strength or endurance, something is wrong medically - maybe he's naturally a little short on the hormones that the steroids are providing? If he gains strength and endurance normally, then he should stop worrying about how he looks and just try to deal with what he's got - super-skinny and tall works very well for running, cycling, climbing, and many other sports. Nobody calls a guy who wins marathons a wuss.
posted by Mitrovarr at 8:56 PM on November 9, 2008


There are two programs out there that have a great track record of beefing up healthy young men.

And -- get this -- they do this entirely WITHOUT steroids. Really, they do.

The Twenty Rep Squat Program (a.k.a. "Breathing Squats" or "Squats and Milk")


Starting Strength

posted by jason's_planet at 9:37 PM on November 9, 2008 [4 favorites]


I could still kick his ass.
posted by IvoShandor at 10:09 PM on November 9, 2008


Asshat Canadians embarass me. On the behalf of all Canadians, I apologize for this guy.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:11 PM on November 9, 2008 [1 favorite]


Speeling misteaks also embarass mee.

Sigh.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:11 PM on November 9, 2008


My brother was skinny his whole life until, in his teens, he got into body building. He added a lot of muscle. He'd blather on about his eating regimen, his workout routines, his weight and other stats. In other words, he sounded exactly like this guy. One key difference, though: my brother did not have a "stop" button.
posted by Clay201 at 10:27 PM on November 9, 2008


The term "homo milk" embarrasses me. On behalf of all Canadians, I apologize for this truly stupid label for what anyone else would call whole milk.

PEOPLE!! All non-elite, grocery store milk, except for fat-free skim milk, is homogenized. But even the milk producers up here carry on as if they're not inherently contradicting themselves on the packaging and at their websites.

Q: What is HOMOGENIZATION?
A: All Dairyland milk is "homogenized" during processing. Homogenization means that the milk fat globules are physically broken up by specialized equipment into very small particles. This process keeps the fat evenly distributed throughout the milk and prevents it from floating up to the top of the container.

Q: Why is milk called skim, 1%, 2%, and homogenized?
A: The names of the different types of milk refer to how much fat (by weight) is in the milk. Skim milk has less than 0.3% fat or less than 0.3g fat per 100g of milk. 1% milk has 1g fat per 100g of milk. 2% milk has 2g fat per 100g milk, and homogenized milk has 3.25g fat per 100g milk. All types of Dairyland milks contain 15 nutrients that are essential to your good health.


It's some small consolation that we still run elections better that you Americans. Well, except for the re-electing Harper part.
posted by maudlin at 12:11 AM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Steroids saved my life. Mind you it was cortical steroids and they did it by letting me breath and swallow food. They also made me fat and angry for a while.
posted by srboisvert at 12:42 AM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Awful.
posted by tawny at 2:34 AM on November 10, 2008


Oh man, these things are always so depressing.


You really want to feel like a fat worthless fuck? Check out muscle progress youtube videos. They'll start with "I was so fat! I was disgusting! "ect ect ..and the guy is always like 20 pounds lighter than you and then they start working out and they look fine. Great even! But then they pass this weird mental barrier where they start abusing self-tanner and hair products and start to get that scary, bony, body until they resemble bright orange, bleach blond beef jerky.


Somethings having a body just sucks.
posted by The Whelk at 5:41 AM on November 10, 2008


He's 6"1'.

Oops. I knew that but apparently typed it wrong.
posted by delmoi at 6:10 AM on November 10, 2008


My brother was skinny his whole life until, in his teens, he got into body building. He added a lot of muscle. He'd blather on about his eating regimen, his workout routines, his weight and other stats. In other words, he sounded exactly like this guy. One key difference, though: my brother did not have a "stop" button.

I had a realization a few months ago about this kind of thing. A very very nerdy friend of mine was always out of shape and pudgy. He was lonely, unhappy, socially awkward, ect ect. He started working out to improve his image and maybe snag a boyfriend. He went in full throttle, notes, books, keeping track of everything he ate, going to the gym 5 days a week, ect. It was the same nerdy, numbers-obsessed grinding he did in say, WoW. It became all he could talk about. All he wanted to talk about. He dropped all his old friends and only hung out with other super-obessed body nerds, and he was still terribly lonely and awkward. Last time I talked to him, he was thinking about getting on steroids. He's got Superman's body and still thinks he's fat and worthless.
posted by The Whelk at 6:16 AM on November 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


It was the same nerdy, numbers-obsessed grinding he did in say, WoW. It became all he could talk about. All he wanted to talk about. He dropped all his old friends and only hung out with other super-obessed body nerds, and he was still terribly lonely and awkward. Last time I talked to him, he was thinking about getting on steroids. He's got Superman's body and still thinks he's fat and worthless.

To me, this is why attempting to overtly control one's body is generally a losing proposition. Making changes to generally improve your well-being, yes. But pandering to social pressures, even under the guise of "health?" Nope. Never works.

An attractive outside will never make up for a broken inside.
posted by peggynature at 6:21 AM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


The terrible truth waiting for this kid is that ten years from now his 70 lbs. of muscle is going straight to back fat and gut unless he develops a healthy and active lifestyle to go along with his image quest.
posted by mrmojoflying at 8:10 AM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Dude should have posted on some weightlifting forums first, so he could have gotten the tried and true advice: SQUATS AND MILK, SON!
posted by Barry B. Palindromer at 8:41 AM on November 10, 2008


The terrible truth waiting for this kid is that ten years from now his 70 lbs. of muscle is going straight to back fat and gut unless he develops a healthy and active lifestyle to go along with his image quest.

This is the kind of thing people like to spout all the time. The muscle he develops will not turn to fat. His subsequent lifestyle may add fat to his frame particularly if he maintains his food intake while cutting back on the workouts but his muscle mass will not convert itself into fat.
posted by srboisvert at 9:00 AM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


One of the chief benefits I've found from getting older, is that I care less and less about the fact that I'm skinny. I used to be incredibly self conscious of it, and now I can revel in the fact that I'm slowly becoming the spindly little old guy who just doesn't give a fuck.

Last summer I wore shorts. In public. It was awesome!
posted by quin at 10:19 AM on November 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


The muscle he develops will not turn to fat.

Of course not literally, but literal interpretations and simple thinking aside - if he does not regulate his calorie intake, and he stops working out, he will gain fat as he loses muscle mass and this "conversion" will "appear" to accelerate as he ages and his metabolism changes. When your body is conditioned to receive 3500 calories per day, it is very difficult to scale that back when you hit certain life changes that bring you a job with responsibilities, family, etc. Many former athletes do not adapt well, and others (myself included) take years to do so.
posted by mrmojoflying at 10:24 AM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Whoa, whoa, whoa...hold on a second there mrmojoflying!

You mean people will have to change their lifestyle and adapt to what their body needs???
posted by P.o.B. at 1:27 PM on November 10, 2008


quin: there's nothing wrong with being skinny. This study, might interest you, though.

Fortunately, there are more alternatives than being a stick figure and a hulking slab of muscle.
posted by Barry B. Palindromer at 3:27 PM on November 10, 2008


Of course not literally, but literal interpretations and simple thinking aside - if he does not regulate his calorie intake, and he stops working out, he will gain fat as he loses muscle mass and this "conversion" will "appear" to accelerate as he ages and his metabolism changes. When your body is conditioned to receive 3500 calories per day, it is very difficult to scale that back when you hit certain life changes that bring you a job with responsibilities, family, etc. Many former athletes do not adapt well, and others (myself included) take years to do so.

I guess you weren't literally telling old wives tales. Just figuratively.
posted by srboisvert at 3:08 AM on November 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


In the last episode he drives slowly past a skinny guy on the street, throws his empty soda at him and calls him a fucking homo faggot.
posted by chillmost at 7:03 AM on November 11, 2008


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