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Foot by Foot, oooh baby
November 12, 2008 2:12 PM   Subscribe

Remember those pesky left feet that kept washing up on Canada's West Coast? One of their counterparts finally showed up. The plot thickens with the knowledge that The Sixth Foot was a hoax...

Bonus Interactive Map : Found Feet !
posted by mannequito (78 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
Technically, it's a shoe with possible human remains inside. But it's not just a foot alone like some of the other feet.
posted by GuyZero at 2:17 PM on November 12, 2008


There's still not enough evidence for me to be implicated, right?
posted by Rinku at 2:23 PM on November 12, 2008 [1 favorite]


Crappy reporting and phrasing. From the Bonus Interactive Map, here's the actual list of feet to date:

1. 8/20/07 - right, male, identified (but name not released)
2. 8/26/07 - right, male, white size 12 Reebok
3. 2/8/08 - right, male, blue/white size 11 Nike
4. 5/22/08 - right, female, white size 7 New Balance
5. 6/16/08 - left, male, blue/white size 11 Nike (match for #3)
6. 6/18/08 - HOAX
7. 8/1/08 - right, male, black size 11 "athletic shoe"
8. 11/12/08 - left, female, New Balance (possible match for #4)

Note that this is the second (apparent) counterpart found, and the second left to go along with five rights.
posted by yhbc at 2:27 PM on November 12, 2008 [2 favorites]


I hate mysteries I can't solve with Google. It's like they're teasing me.
posted by ryanrs at 2:29 PM on November 12, 2008 [5 favorites]


This is right around where I live. It's quite strange, all these feet.

There's detached appendages lying around everywhere. No one seems to be able to hang on to their limbs anymore.
posted by ageispolis at 2:30 PM on November 12, 2008 [1 favorite]


"They appear to be disarticulated, on their own, either by the decomposition process [or] what have you," she said.

If the alternative is believing (1) Canadians are voluntarily removing their own feet or (2) that there's an epidemic of a new, foot-shedding strain of leprosy, I'm much happier thinking a serial killer is on the loose.
posted by grounded at 2:31 PM on November 12, 2008 [3 favorites]


grounded: You know leprosy doesn't actually make appendages fall off right?
posted by public at 2:35 PM on November 12, 2008


Aha! The shoe's on the other foot now!
posted by dersins at 2:40 PM on November 12, 2008 [3 favorites]


I'm sure this will get resolved soon. The detectives are just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
posted by billysumday at 2:44 PM on November 12, 2008 [2 favorites]


My bad for the phrasing, but it looks like this latest one matches up with the one found in May, which is what I meant by counterpart.
posted by mannequito at 2:45 PM on November 12, 2008


Was more of that suspicious smiley face graffiti nearby?
posted by subbes at 2:46 PM on November 12, 2008 [1 favorite]


From the Bonus Interactive Map, here's the actual list of feet to date:

1. 8/20/07 - right, male, identified (but name not released)
2. 8/26/07 - right, male, white size 12 Reebok
3. 2/8/08 - right, male, blue/white size 11 Nike
4. 5/22/08 - right, female, white size 7 New Balance
5. 6/16/08 - left, male, blue/white size 11 Nike (match for #3)
6. 6/18/08 - HOAX
7. 8/1/08 - right, male, black size 11 "athletic shoe"
8. 11/12/08 - left, female, New Balance (possible match for #4)

Note that this is the second (apparent) counterpart found, and the second left to go along with five rights.



Thanks! This is a much clearer stepping off point for my investigation.

'Cause I'm the gumshoe you need for this job.

It takes a certain detatchment.

(stopping now.)
posted by longsleeves at 2:47 PM on November 12, 2008 [3 favorites]


Cheers for the NKOTB reference, mannequito. Kepp hangin' tough!
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 2:47 PM on November 12, 2008 [1 favorite]


I've said it before and I'll say it again...there's something else going on here. I grew up in Victoria and have spent a lot of time on and around the water there. A lot of the coastline is inaccessible unless you have a boat. Furthermore, it's indescribably improbable that even 1/10th of all these feet if they're scattered that far would be found, let alone multiple matches.

I'm not one for conspiracy theories, but these are being planted and/or we're being lied to by the police and the media. They're trying to keep something horrible from us.
posted by jimmythefish at 2:49 PM on November 12, 2008


"They appear to be disarticulated, on their own, either by the decomposition process [or] what have you," she said.

Blurg. So much for dinner plans...
posted by hermitosis at 2:49 PM on November 12, 2008


You know leprosy doesn't actually make appendages fall off right?

Well, that's what makes this hypothetical new strain of foot-shedding leprosy so alarming!
posted by speedo at 2:54 PM on November 12, 2008 [4 favorites]


I wouldn't be surprised if Alberta has something to do with this.
posted by gman at 2:55 PM on November 12, 2008 [3 favorites]


I wouldn't be surprised if Alberta has something to do with this.

I personally blame Harper for this foot fiasco.
posted by chugg at 3:01 PM on November 12, 2008


Also, anyone else here see Funny Bones? Apart from being a great movie about the nature of comedy, there was a running gag about a foot found washed up on the shore of Blackpool. The police dismiss it as a "one-off". But when a second, and apparently matching foot appears, a police spokesman gives a press conference. A reporter, demanding an explanation, says, "I thought you said it was a one-off."

"Well, it is a one-off." says the cop "The feet match one person."

"Two feet though," counters the reporter.

The cop, exasperated, says, "Well, obviously. Everyone's got two feet. Does anybody know anyone that hasn't got two feet?"

To which all the reporters reply, "Yes!"

... Anyway, I couldn't find that particular scene, but this one is rather good, too. And it shows Lee Evans doing something not related to There's Something About Mary.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 3:02 PM on November 12, 2008 [1 favorite]


Can we not have this thread just filled with more witty puns on feet please? Some people get a kick out of it, but the rest of us wish you'd put a sock in it.
posted by panboi at 3:05 PM on November 12, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'm not one for conspiracy theories, but these are being planted and/or we're being lied to by the police and the media. They're trying to keep something horrible from us.

This will all get straightened out once McNulty gets enough funding to take down Marlow.
posted by Pantengliopoli at 3:06 PM on November 12, 2008 [2 favorites]


planted? do you have any idea how many people walk on every beach in this country? i'm not surprised at all that they'd be found.

haven't there always been humans dumping other people overboard/at sea for one horrific reason or another?

i think the difference in the present is that there is more traffic out there in the ocean (probably human trafficking as well), and there is more ability to communicate our ghoulish finds with each other.

if people die when you're transporting them in shipping containers, as horrible as it is, then they get thrown overboard, no?
posted by RedEmma at 3:07 PM on November 12, 2008


Can we not have this thread just filled with more witty puns on feet please?

Most of us are just trying to toe the line, here.
posted by billysumday at 3:09 PM on November 12, 2008


Someone should call Vincent Price's grandson Jody about the missing feet... that would be egg-ceptional!
posted by Lesser Shrew at 3:15 PM on November 12, 2008 [1 favorite]


The investigators need to put in some more leg work.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:18 PM on November 12, 2008


planted? do you have any idea how many people walk on every beach in this country? i'm not surprised at all that they'd be found.

Have you been to the area? Not much of it is beach. It's rock straight down to the water in a lot of places. Based on probabilities alone, it's virtually impossible to find what appears to be such a high percentage of the total amount of feet lost given the area they've been scattered around.

The reporting has been odd. You'd expect more investigative reporting and/or more questioning from the media. There hasn't been much. It's just 'oh, there's another foot.'

I don't believe any of it for a fucking second.
posted by jimmythefish at 3:21 PM on November 12, 2008


The investigators need to put in some more leg work.

I agree. They really seem to be punting on this.
posted by billysumday at 3:21 PM on November 12, 2008


HOKEY POKEY X-TREME EDITION!
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:24 PM on November 12, 2008 [11 favorites]


What's Ralph Klein up to these days?
posted by gman at 3:29 PM on November 12, 2008


do you have any idea how many people walk on every beach in this country?

As a local (on the US side), I can say that a lot of beaches around here are lucky to get one visitor a week. That's more than enough time for something shoe-sized to be buried in the sand, especially in the eddies behind the rocky outcroppings you can see if you zoom in on the map.

Last year a hiker slipped off a path on little Jones Island, a fairly popular state park, and wasn't found for a full year. If a whole body can be missed in a search with helicopters and dogs, plenty of feet will be overlooked by casual walkers. No conspiracy required.
posted by vruba at 3:32 PM on November 12, 2008


Oddly enough, I'm having manwich for dinner.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:35 PM on November 12, 2008


Feet in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed feet in the sand.
Sometimes there were two feet, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one foot, so I said to the Lord,

“You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one foot in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one foot, my child, is when some motherfucker up in Canada was doing some crazy-ass shit.”
posted by dersins at 3:36 PM on November 12, 2008 [20 favorites]


Something's afoot.
posted by mazola at 3:36 PM on November 12, 2008


The Fish is correct: the vast majority of that "beach" is a rugged, rocky jumble on which you MIGHT see two or three other people during your three hour morning hike. (And it would be a HIKE, ideally in boots, not some kind of Caribbean flip-flops in the sand sort of affair.)

Yes, there are more classic beaches, but they're the exceptions on the coastline, dotting it here and there. The majority is not sandy loveliness.

So I agree that a hundred feet could wash up and rot there a few hundred times without being noticed at all, let alone so conveniently.

However... it is quite possible the police have been sweeping very carefully, or searching in specific areas they're not telling us about, or explaining the reasoning behind. Yes, the could have received tip-offs. But they could also have talked to a couple of oceanographers about currents so they know where to look. It's easy to imagine why it'd be a good idea to keep that detail from the newspapers.
posted by rokusan at 3:41 PM on November 12, 2008


Also, do you know how hard it was to not scream DOUBLE! at this post?

(Answer: Hard. It was hard.)
posted by rokusan at 3:42 PM on November 12, 2008


You're stepping all over this thread, but the game is a foot!

So, how many feet per square mile is that, exactly?

You know, I was on firm ground until I lost my footing on that beach.

I don't know his name but his foot sure rings a shell.

Ugh. Old stinkfoot is here again. And I thought I had bad athlete's foot.

This isn't exactly what I had in mind when you said you liked to play footsy. Or football, for that matter.

Hey, what's about a foot long and makes everyone scream? How's that go, foot-loose and fancy-free?
posted by loquacious at 3:51 PM on November 12, 2008 [1 favorite]


loquacious wins.
posted by gman at 3:56 PM on November 12, 2008


Can we not have this thread just filled with more witty puns on feet please?

But they're selling foot puns by the yard!
posted by never used baby shoes at 4:13 PM on November 12, 2008 [2 favorites]


Based on probabilities alone, it's virtually impossible to find what appears to be such a high percentage of the total amount of feet lost given the area they've been scattered around.

how do you know--presuming on my part that these are people being thrown off boats that are participating in human trafficking--how many bodies are out there? things get buried in sand, and then they come up again. it's not like these are "fresh" feet. and in fact, the cops are saying that it's likely they're the only uneaten parts that have survived decomp. feet last a long time in shoes/boots. there was a rubber boot (with foot enclosed) found up here in MN some years ago that was said to be fifty years old when it washed up. they never figured out whose it was.

i am not saying that every foot is found. i'm saying that it's not surprising to me, as a beachcomber myself (and not at nice sandy beaches), that there are feet being found. and it doesn't seem conspiratorial at all, unless you're talking about the general conspiracy of indifference on the part of law enforcement when it comes to foreigners and the undocumented.
posted by RedEmma at 4:17 PM on November 12, 2008


I don't believe any of it for a fucking second.

Well, there's a much better reason to believe the real explanation is horrific: the fact that they've only been finding feet. Presumably there are other parts of the person that aren't being accidentally stumbled across by random beach-combers.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 4:29 PM on November 12, 2008


Presumably there are other parts of the person that aren't being accidentally stumbled across by random beach-combers.

And it would certainly explain the hands I keep finding in the storage space under the stairs.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:36 PM on November 12, 2008


Feet are too chewy, unless you pickle them for at least 3 months, and who has time for that?
posted by Dataphage at 4:50 PM on November 12, 2008 [1 favorite]


Aha my dear Watson, the game's afoot.
posted by homeless Visigoth at 4:50 PM on November 12, 2008


I have two left feet. Willing to trade one. Memail me.
posted by not_on_display at 5:03 PM on November 12, 2008


Let's see the cops tap dance their way around this one!
posted by Ron Thanagar at 5:09 PM on November 12, 2008


Any chance Kevin Bacon has been frequenting the Canadian coast lately?

Loose, footloose
Kick off your Sunday shoes
Please, Louise
Pull me offa my knees
Jack, get back
C'mon before we crack
Lose your blues
Everybody cut footloose

The answer's been right in front of us the whole time.
posted by sapere aude at 5:10 PM on November 12, 2008


homeless Visigoth, loquacious beat you to it, more or less.

It seems concrete boots are out of style?
posted by filthy light thief at 5:13 PM on November 12, 2008


This is totally a viral marketing campaign for the final season of The Shield.
posted by cjorgensen at 5:22 PM on November 12, 2008 [1 favorite]


Well, there's a much better reason to believe the real explanation is horrific: the fact that they've only been finding feet.
The feet are well protected by leather and vinyl sneakers, and probably floaty as well because of those runners. The rest of the bodies may well have been nibbled away and/or bashed to bits by the waves.
posted by fish tick at 5:32 PM on November 12, 2008


I would guess (1) there aren't that many feet out there, and (2) a high percentage of lost feet are being found. Otherwise they wouldn't have found so many matching pairs.
posted by ryanrs at 5:35 PM on November 12, 2008 [2 favorites]


Also, body parts not surrounded by bouyant sneakers will sink if they are sufficiently pierced and/or if the fat is nibbled by fishies.
posted by BrotherCaine at 5:42 PM on November 12, 2008


Looking at the timeline, I can't help but think that this is a group of people who met a simultaneous end, probably at sea. Maybe a capsizing, or something more sinister. Naturally police are reticent in any homocide investigation, so the stoney silence doesn't entirely surprise me. All that makes sense. But why just the feet? Why is that the body part that "becomes detached", and finds its way to shore? I have to admit, mysteries like this are an Achille's heel of mine, albeit not the sole one.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 5:59 PM on November 12, 2008


> They're trying to keep something horrible from us.

I dunno, man. It sounds to me like they're trying to flaunt horrible things right in front of you.
posted by ardgedee at 6:13 PM on November 12, 2008


loquacious wins.

What a heel.
posted by Curry at 6:19 PM on November 12, 2008 [1 favorite]


Forensics ventures beneath the waves
posted by lukemeister at 6:56 PM on November 12, 2008


This gives me hope that one day I will find true love.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:59 PM on November 12, 2008 [2 favorites]


I wouldn't be surprised if Alberta Adam Yoshida has something to do with this.
posted by octobersurprise at 7:07 PM on November 12, 2008


Just a castaway
A Nike lost at sea
Another lefty day
With no one here but me
More loneliness
Than any sole could bear
Rescue me before I fall into the bay

I'll send an Adidas to the world
I'll send an Adidas to the world
I hope that someone gets my
Left foot in a sneaker
posted by maxwelton at 7:10 PM on November 12, 2008 [4 favorites]


With half of the posters taking it completely seriously and spinning wild conspiracy theories and the other half taking the piss out of everybody by making jokes, this is like the worst designed ARG EVER!

Or maybe it's the best.

I can never tell with these things.

[insert unused foot pun here]
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:54 PM on November 12, 2008 [1 favorite]


i miss the img src - would so kick this thread through the uprights
posted by Jeremy at 7:56 PM on November 12, 2008


It's still some weird shit though, right? The feet I mean.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:08 PM on November 12, 2008


At the risk of not making a joke, and with the admission that I have no scientific training in this field whatsoever and this is completely my own opinion, it seems to me that if a body is lost at sea, for whatever reason, the first thing you are likely to find would, if fact, be the feet, especially if the person were wearing athletic shoes when they went into the water. The shoes are heavy, and generally float, and they hold together very well. The human body does not, and the ankles are about our weakest joint. Once a body starts decaying, it kind of makes sense that the feet would separate from the rest of it, and if the feet were in big, sturdy, buoyant shoes, well, that's what would wash up on shore - but only singly, since there's no reason for the two feet to stay together after they are separated from the body.

But yeah, it still seems weird.
posted by yhbc at 8:23 PM on November 12, 2008


Wait a minute! A container full of illegal immigrants wearing Nike, Reebok, and New Balance shoes? The human trafficking theory seems incompatible with brand name footwear.
posted by ryanrs at 9:23 PM on November 12, 2008 [1 favorite]


Also rules out fishermen, I think. Fishermen generally don't wear sneakers, do they?
posted by ryanrs at 9:37 PM on November 12, 2008


Can we not have this thread just filled with more witty puns on feet please?

Yeah, the irreverence in this thread is alarming. I wonder how we would all feel if the shoe was on the other foot.
posted by minkll at 9:45 PM on November 12, 2008 [2 favorites]


If it were in the US, I would assume this was just the work of some crazed metrication advocate.

Um, other than me.
posted by Xezlec at 10:40 PM on November 12, 2008 [1 favorite]


The feet are well protected by leather and vinyl sneakers, and probably floaty as well because of those runners

Good points.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 4:05 AM on November 13, 2008


Not trying to be arch, panboi, but are you asking us to toe the line?
posted by horsewithnoname at 6:40 AM on November 13, 2008


Number 2: Good lord.
Number 37: What's wrong?
Number 2: Well, they've brought him back but... bring the spheres!

*gelatinous spheres float over*

Number 2: You there! Make sure you get all the bits next time!
Spheres: RRrrrRRRRhhhh!!
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 7:27 AM on November 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


It is not so unusual to find anything on a beach. What is there on beaches that you would notice? Things that are not sand and or rocks. A sneaker would be very obvious to anyone walking on the beach, so the relatively low number of beachgoers probably doesn't skew the probability much.
posted by Gungho at 7:35 AM on November 13, 2008


Worst viral marketing ever.
posted by klangklangston at 10:48 AM on November 13, 2008


#7.
posted by gman at 11:00 AM on November 13, 2008


From gman's link: DNA testing linked one foot to a depressed man who disappeared in 2007.
posted by davar at 12:21 PM on November 13, 2008


It sounds like, so far, this investigation hasn't got a leg to stand on, and yet the taxpayers are footing the bill!
posted by Krrrlson at 12:23 PM on November 13, 2008


This is totally a viral marketing campaign for the final season of The Shield.
posted by cjorgensen

In February I maintained it was a viral promo for series 3 of Dexter. Damn.
posted by slimepuppy at 2:50 PM on November 13, 2008


What if it's a sick joke by a mortician? Think about it--once they stick the embalmed corpse in the coffin, no one sees the feet any more. The undertaker cuts the foot off and seals the stump before the embalming fluid goes in, sticks the foot in a different shoe, drops it on the shore of the lake, has a giggle when it shows up in the paper.
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:37 PM on November 13, 2008


To all who are worried about it happening to them, word of advice: It's the shoes....

I, for one, and not going to be wearing any exercise shoes/sneakers anytime soon.
posted by mightshould at 10:51 AM on November 14, 2008


If the deceased persons had the good sense to tie their laces together before they went into the water, we wouldn't have to deal with this matching problem.
posted by subbes at 7:32 AM on November 15, 2008


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