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BBQ Bees
November 14, 2008 12:00 PM   Subscribe

Man attempts to kill some bees that have invaded his BBQ, ends up annihilating entire colony of honey bees.
posted by sidartha (144 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

 
Wow, that's incredible and disturbing. I wish there had been a better way though, those poor bee's.
posted by arcticwoman at 12:04 PM on November 14, 2008


is this real? I'm a city person and this sounds just insane
posted by matteo at 12:05 PM on November 14, 2008


What a shame he coated those honeycombs with toxic poison.

I'm amazed that (a) they took up residence in a location that close to human activity and (b) he didn't notice hundreds of bees coming and going several times a day from the hive!
posted by Miko at 12:07 PM on November 14, 2008


I'd probably say "taken residence in" rather than "invaded". Given the extent of their colonization, it's obvious he wasn't using the grill much prior to this incident.

That's pretty crazy, though-- I wonder why they chose his grill for a colony? What made that particular grill so attractively habitable for them?
posted by baphomet at 12:07 PM on November 14, 2008


Wow. That's terrible and incredible at the same time. Too bad about the bees, but I can't say I would have stuck my face under there to check species types before doing some kind of similar extermination.
posted by Kimothy at 12:08 PM on November 14, 2008


I saw the whole litany of comments when this made the rounds on Digg yesterday. We used to keep a bee hive for honey and this is certainly tragic, but on the other hand, unless I'm mistaken it sounds like the guy had no idea what he was dealing with. I think the real litmus test is what he would have done if he knew it was a big hive.

But that fogger near the BBQ? Geez, WTF? I hope his guests like lots of 2,1-dichloroethylbenzene on their burgers.
posted by crapmatic at 12:09 PM on November 14, 2008 [9 favorites]


I call BS on this guy. If he just saw a few bees, he wouldn't go to Defcon Bugbomb On A Rake. Instead, he found the colony and wanted to just get rid of it but didn't feel like that would go over well on the internets, so he concocted his story.
posted by DU at 12:10 PM on November 14, 2008 [3 favorites]


What a shame he coated those honeycombs with toxic poison.
What a shame he coated his BBQ with toxic poison. I wonder the half-life is.
posted by Jode at 12:11 PM on November 14, 2008 [2 favorites]


That's crazy. As others are saying, terrible and incredible at the same time.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 12:12 PM on November 14, 2008


.
posted by desjardins at 12:12 PM on November 14, 2008 [3 favorites]


Seconding Jode. I'd have serious hesitation about using one of those roach bomb things on something I like to cook my food on.
posted by ShadowCrash at 12:14 PM on November 14, 2008 [2 favorites]


I mean I call BeeBeeQS on him.
posted by DU at 12:15 PM on November 14, 2008


How incredibly sad.

.
posted by threadbare at 12:15 PM on November 14, 2008


Those bees had been there for many weeks, judging by the amount of comb--and you can see lots of capped brood in the pics. Under that cover is actually an ideal spot for bees. It's wooden, like their natural habitat, and dry and spacious.

What this fellow ought to have done is called his local bee inspector, who is easily found online; the bee inspector knows which local beekeepers are looking for swarms. No charge. You might even get a little honey out of it, particularly if you offer up an ideal hive like this, one with a strong population and easy removal. If you were to buy these bees from a supplier, it would run you about 75 or 100 bucks.
posted by Nahum Tate at 12:16 PM on November 14, 2008 [28 favorites]


And JUST LIKE THAT all the time spent getting over my irrational fear of bees goes right down the crapper!
posted by SpiffyRob at 12:16 PM on November 14, 2008 [3 favorites]


very very sad...he could have called someone they would have come out and moved that hive for him...no charge. what an a$$!
posted by brneyedgrl at 12:18 PM on November 14, 2008


If he just saw a few bees, he wouldn't go to Defcon Bugbomb On A Rake.

Yeah, I had a similar thought noting all the care he took to set up and document his attack. He was already thinking it would look cool on the internets.

Thanks for mentioning a bee inspector, Nahum Tate. I didn't know about that service.
posted by Miko at 12:19 PM on November 14, 2008 [2 favorites]


It's actually illegal in some places to kill a colony of honeybees.
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 12:22 PM on November 14, 2008


I'd have serious hesitation about using one of those roach bomb things on something I like to cook my food on.

Evolution at work, perhaps.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:23 PM on November 14, 2008 [9 favorites]


I've never seen a hive on a grill before. That was really impressive. I love bees.
posted by paisley henosis at 12:25 PM on November 14, 2008


"What this fellow ought to have done is called his local bee inspector, who is easily found online..."

What a marvelous blend of 2008 and 1888! I can *so* clearly hear this in the voice of the Book from the old HHGG production on the BBC radio so long ago.

Or perhaps Chauncey Gardiner (Sellers in "Being There").
posted by wenestvedt at 12:26 PM on November 14, 2008 [10 favorites]


.
posted by oonh at 12:26 PM on November 14, 2008


DU: "I call BS on this guy. If he just saw a few bees, he wouldn't go to Defcon Bugbomb On A Rake."

I know several people who would do (and have done) exactly that. Same kind of people who wouldn't think even once about using a bugbomb near a food-preparation device.
posted by Plutor at 12:28 PM on November 14, 2008


Miko: "Yeah, I had a similar thought noting all the care he took to set up and document his attack. He was already thinking it would look cool on the internets."

The first three photos could have easily been taken ex post facto.
posted by Plutor at 12:29 PM on November 14, 2008


[Gir voice]

Aww, My bees!




Seriously though, this made me sad for some reason. I guess because I never get honeybees attaching themselves to my stuff, it's always paper wasps and other I-want-to-sting-you-to-death bugs building nests in my eaves.
posted by quin at 12:30 PM on November 14, 2008 [2 favorites]


Yeah this guy is an idiot, doesn't he know those things can grow back like Terminators? I would probably just blow up the whole house and move.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:33 PM on November 14, 2008 [5 favorites]


The "holy shit" moment is really when you see the size of the comb. What a shame that all those bees had to die. There had to have been someone to call to take care of it.
posted by sjuhawk31 at 12:33 PM on November 14, 2008


Such a waste. We need those pollinators. I bet he knew what he was doing.
posted by RussHy at 12:34 PM on November 14, 2008 [2 favorites]


BBQ Bees. (If the FPP made you sad, this will make you extra sad.)
posted by shadow vector at 12:35 PM on November 14, 2008 [2 favorites]


I disagree with those who say he wouldn't have bought the bug-bomb unless he knew about the hive. I've known people who would use nuclear weapons (if possible) to kill a single spider, and they would think nothing of dropping a fully-loaded city bus on a centipede.

In memorium:

A one... two-- A one... two... three... four...
Half a bee, philosophically,
Must, ipso facto, half not be.
But half the bee has got to be
Vis a vis, its entity. D'you see?

But can a bee be said to be
Or not to be an entire bee
When half the bee is not a bee
Due to some ancient injury?

Singing...

La dee dee, one two three,
Eric the half a bee.
A B C D E F G,
Eric the half a bee.

Is this wretched demi-bee,
Half-asleep upon my knee,
Some freak from a menagerie?
No! It's Eric the half a bee!

Fiddle de dum, Fiddle de dee,
Eric the half a bee.
Ho ho ho, tee hee hee,
Eric the half a bee.

I love this hive, employee-ee,
Bisected accidentally,
One summer afternoon by me,
I love him carnally.

He loves him carnally,
Semi-carnally.
The end.

Cyril Connelly?
No; semi-carnally!
Oh.

Cyril Connelly.
[whistling]
posted by blue_beetle at 12:36 PM on November 14, 2008 [3 favorites]


At an job I had a few years ago, we had this wooden enclosure thing where the garbage cans were kept. I was taking a box of recycling out to it one day and when I swung the door open, I noticed that the side wall seemed to be...moving.

There were a lot of bees. Many many many bees. And there was a lot of honey - it seemed to me that I could smell it.

I tracked down a local beekeeper, who came and collected the bees and the comb. He said he send over some honey, but he never did.

The next garbage enclosure was a plastic shed-thing. No more bees.
posted by rtha at 12:40 PM on November 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


I quite like bees. Why would anyone ever want to kill an entire colony? Kind of makes me wonder if he also tortures small animals or tickles his niece until she screams/.
posted by KokuRyu at 12:44 PM on November 14, 2008 [4 favorites]


As the son of a beekeeper who's gone on many a swarm catching call with his father, this makes me really sad. What a waste. If you find a swarm has settled in a place you don't want, try the local fire department. I know in the Austin, Texas area they've got a list of beekeepers who'd be more than interested in acquiring a new swarm.

There's also the phone book, if the fire department doesn't keep such a list. And the internet.
posted by Mister Cheese at 12:46 PM on November 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


idiot.
posted by batmonkey at 12:47 PM on November 14, 2008


Oh, the bee-manity!

Not to bee confused with the hybrid species bee-manatee
posted by mrnutty at 12:49 PM on November 14, 2008 [11 favorites]


Wow! Here's my story...

My wife (then girlfriend) had a set of those portable chairs (you know the ones you take to local ball games, or tailgates, or even just outside on your patio). They were nice chairs; they had a can holder and pockets on either side for magazines or whatever.

Anyway, she was living in an apartment on her own at the time, and she had a balcony so she had two of these portable chairs out on the balcony. We used them a fair amount at the start of summer one year, but then we didn't touch 'em for about a month. When we finally went to go sit outside again we found that it was starting to be colonized. We FREAKED OUT! The bees were in the can holder and the pockets and under the flap where it acts as its own cover (when you fold the chair up). It was insane. Not to the extent of what this guy had, and I never looked closely enough to see if they had a honeycomb going anywhere, but still! We waited until it cooled down at night and carefully yet quickly picked up the chairs, ran them through the apartment and back out the front door straight to the dumpster!

I guess bees just like to hide in stuff sometimes.

It was too bad about those chairs. They were nice chairs.
posted by mrzer0 at 12:53 PM on November 14, 2008


What a shame he coated those honeycombs with toxic poison.

That's the first thing I thought when I saw these photos - look at all that beautiful honeycomb gone to waste. When we were kids, we watched our dad light some rope in a coffee can to smoke out a colony that had formed under a corner of our porch. Worked spectacularly, apart from a couple stings he incurred. And the honeycomb was delicious.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:54 PM on November 14, 2008


Mister Cheese is right about this.
posted by nola at 12:55 PM on November 14, 2008


CCD. Mystery Solved!

Needs an asshat tag and could he caption those photos any worse?
posted by cjorgensen at 12:55 PM on November 14, 2008 [3 favorites]


Oh boy, another round of INTERNET KNOWS BEST. What average person sees a few bees and goes, "Time to call my local beekeep!". I don't even think I have a local beekeep, let alone a mental check to call him.

And, sure, the bomb may have been overkill, but he probably thought there was one of those little hives, not a friggin' colony. And I dare you to call 911 or the Fire Department for a couple of bees flitting around the backyard. See if you don't get laughed off the line.

I agree, what happened here was a bummer. But it's also a pretty regular reaction. I'm just shocked comparisons haven't been made to "Bee-Hitler"
posted by GilloD at 12:58 PM on November 14, 2008 [17 favorites]


My wife works at the county extension office. She's been telling me horror stories about this huge die-off of wild pollinators and how it's going to hurt our agriculture. Something like 90% gone in the last 50 years. And the current explanations don't sound too convincing: disease and stress from pesticides.
posted by RussHy at 12:58 PM on November 14, 2008


To make a prairie it takes a clover and one bee,
One clover, and a bee.
And revery.
The revery alone will do,
If bees are few.
~ Emily Dickinson
posted by woodway at 12:58 PM on November 14, 2008 [12 favorites]


Too bad he didn't try this method.
posted by cjorgensen at 12:59 PM on November 14, 2008


When building top bar hives, apparently the spacing of the bars from which the bees will build combs is really important. Although in the photos it looks like they ended up building their combs at an angle from the slats of the wooden side thingy, perhaps the dimensions/spacing of it were appealing to the bees.
posted by snofoam at 1:02 PM on November 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


When we were kids, we watched our dad light some rope in a coffee can to smoke out a colony that had formed under a corner of our porch.

I could copy-paste that exact story. Marisa, apparently, is the long lost sister I didn't know I had.

(Excuse me while I have a personal moment.)
posted by rokusan at 1:02 PM on November 14, 2008


GilloD: I'm just shocked comparisons haven't been made to "Bee-Hitler"

I think you just did.
posted by cjorgensen at 1:03 PM on November 14, 2008


When building top bar hives, apparently the spacing of the bars from which the bees will build combs is really important. Although in the photos it looks like they ended up building their combs at an angle from the slats of the wooden side thingy, perhaps the dimensions/spacing of it were appealing to the bees.

(link typo corrected)
posted by snofoam at 1:03 PM on November 14, 2008


Miko writes "he didn't notice hundreds of bees coming and going several times a day from the hive!"

Not all that amazing depending on which way the patio faced. If the bees took off away from the house then you might never notice them.
posted by Mitheral at 1:04 PM on November 14, 2008


Oh my god why does this make me so sad
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 1:04 PM on November 14, 2008


Bernard! Bernard! I killed all your bees!
posted by WinnipegDragon at 1:04 PM on November 14, 2008 [5 favorites]


/me pours out honey to my fallen bee comrades

Also: for future reference, call a beekeeper.
posted by Tehanu at 1:04 PM on November 14, 2008 [3 favorites]


snofoam writes "When building top bar hives, apparently the spacing of the bars from which the bees will build combs is really important. Although in the photos it looks like they ended up building their combs at an angle from the slats of the wooden side thingy, perhaps the dimensions/spacing of it were appealing to the bees. "

It's important so that the bees build on the bars rather than at some random angle and attachment as seen here.
posted by Mitheral at 1:06 PM on November 14, 2008


Yeah, I had a similar thought noting all the care he took to set up and document his attack. He was already thinking it would look cool on the internets.

It's a real bummer for sure, but to be fair, there's no evidence he started documenting this at the beginning. The picture of the rake-bomb and packaging could have easily been taken after the fact. There's also no photos of the bomb going off or the bees dying- it's all aftermath.
posted by Thin Lizzy at 1:06 PM on November 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


Oh boy, another round of INTERNET KNOWS BEST. What average person sees a few bees and goes, "Time to call my local beekeep!". I don't even think I have a local beekeep, let alone a mental check to call him.

Well gee at least most of the people in this thread now know that beekeepers can be easily found. It's called a phone book.

And, sure, the bomb may have been overkill, but he probably thought there was one of those little hives, not a friggin' colony. And I dare you to call 911 or the Fire Department for a couple of bees flitting around the backyard. See if you don't get laughed off the line.

I have called a Fire Department about a situation like this, and guess what? They called a beekeeper!

I agree, what happened here was a bummer. But it's also a pretty regular reaction. I'm just shocked comparisons haven't been made to "Bee-Hitler"

With the CCD problem that is threatening crop production in many areas, I would say the outrage from those who know better is somewhat warranted.
posted by Big_B at 1:07 PM on November 14, 2008 [6 favorites]


Ungh. That picture combines two of my phobias: swarms (1) and natural honeycombs (2).

If I came across that on my BBQ grill and there was nobody to talk me down, I totally would have gone all DEFCON BugBomb. Plus I would have bought a new grill and seriously considered stripping and painting the deck. And covering it with bug zappers.

Also, fire.

(1) - My dislike of swarms is ants' fault, but it extends to anything amorphous and chitinous. When I was young, I had a pet lizard of mine eaten alive by a swarm of ants in my room. I wake up in the middle of the night to some thrashing and oh, look, there's a stream of ants coming out of a vent, up my desk, and into Dippy's guts! Yay. I then spent several years focusing my rage at swarms of bugs of all types. I stopped when I tried to wage war on fire ants. They won.

(2) - As for the honeycomb thing, that's corn's fault. Well, that and my mom's cooking. One Thanksgiving when I was little, I was forced to share my Big Boy Ear of Corn with my little sister. My folks sliced off a bunch of corn for her, so I had a half-shaved ear. I was furious - muscles tense, quaking with rage furious. Also, that was the year my Mom kinda undercooked part of the turkey. So I got sick, in addition to being irrationally enraged. The shape imprinted on me and now when I see a natural honeycomb-like pattern (especially shaved ears of corn) I get antsy (ha!) and woozy. It's only natural shapes that do this, so I'm free to play Hexic and Battletech to my heart's content.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:07 PM on November 14, 2008 [2 favorites]


from shadow vector's link:

"OH DEAR LORD ITS SO BEAUTIFUL. I AM SO PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN RIGHT NOW."

mccain voter, i'm guessing...
posted by klanawa at 1:18 PM on November 14, 2008


Tags:
bees
posted by Damn That Television at 1:19 PM on November 14, 2008


Well gee at least most of the people in this thread now know that beekeepers can be easily found. It's called a phone book.

A bunch of people registering their sense of smug self-satisfaction is not a good indicator of anything.
posted by TungstenChef at 1:25 PM on November 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


so much for thanking god for the worker bees...
posted by anoirmarie at 1:28 PM on November 14, 2008


Ungh. That picture combines two of my phobias: swarms (1) and natural honeycombs (2).

I know what someone is getting for Christmas!
posted by quin at 1:28 PM on November 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


If I came across that on my BBQ grill and there was nobody to talk me down, I totally would have gone all DEFCON BugBomb. Plus I would have bought a new grill and seriously considered stripping and painting the deck. And covering it with bug zappers.

Fuck that, nuke it from orbit, its the only way to be sure.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:28 PM on November 14, 2008


robocop's link about cicadas is fantastic. It's posts like that that making reading this intranet thing worth it.

Too bad about the bees, though.
posted by ShadowCrash at 1:32 PM on November 14, 2008


THIS MAN IS JUST LIKE HITLER
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:32 PM on November 14, 2008


What average person sees a few bees and goes, "Time to call my local beekeep!"

This is actually a good question. I fear that less and less people would actually think to do this. But there's plenty of places where people are in fact aware of local beekeepers. My pa got a lot calls from the fire department for swarms.

I don't hold it against a person who goes out and kills a bee colony. There are parts of society that aren't educated about how to deal with such a situation, and have a fear of bees that is justifiable. Bee stings can be fatal if there is an allergic reaction, or there are enough of them. But it ain't going to happen if you don't mess with those bees.

What really bothers me is when people appear to take delight or satisfaction from destroying a colony. I remember as a freshman in college watching a couple of my classmates throwing water ballons at a vagrant bee swarm on the side of a building. Those bees would most likely have left on their own, but they were instead killed because someone decided it would be fun. The man linked may had legitimate concerns for his safety, but the fact that he put it on the internet in this manner makes me think he took delight in the whole process. As someone who's been raised with an enormous respect for bees, and been there with my pa as he was worried about varroa mites and colony collapse that sort of attitude doesn't sit well with me at all.
posted by Mister Cheese at 1:33 PM on November 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


It is a shame, and a little sad. However, sometimes that's the price you pay for going down an evolutionary path where your greatest defense is to have much larger organisms terrified of you. Sometimes, the terrified organism might just wipe you out. Especially if the organism in question is human, which generally wipes out anything which frightens it.
posted by adipocere at 1:33 PM on November 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


The man linked may had legitimate concerns for his safety, but the fact that he put it on the internet in this manner makes me think he took delight in the whole process. As someone who's been raised with an enormous respect for bees, and been there with my pa as he was worried about varroa mites and colony collapse that sort of attitude doesn't sit well with me at all.

I have to agree, 100% And did the photos look pretty out-of-focus to anyone else?
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:36 PM on November 14, 2008


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posted by bicyclefish at 1:38 PM on November 14, 2008 [19 favorites]


Marisa Stole the Precious Thing writes "THIS MAN IS JUST LIKE HITLER"

No, Hitler at least wasn't a total idiot. This man is more like Paris Hilton. This is what an spoiled, unthinking moron would do.
posted by mullingitover at 1:41 PM on November 14, 2008 [3 favorites]


Man, I love bees. And I agree, someone should add the "asshat" tag to this post.

The one thing that makes me happy though is the lack of "LOL!! nuke the fuckers!!!1!" comments. A fair number of people like to point out that mefi is a den of god damn hippies. And, you know what, I'm really okay with that. Anyone who calls for a moment of silence on account of a needlessly killed bee hive is welcome to share a pint of homebrew with me.
posted by JimmyJames at 1:41 PM on November 14, 2008 [11 favorites]


Bee Hitler
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:45 PM on November 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


Oh boy, another round of INTERNET KNOWS BEST. What average person sees a few bees and goes, "Time to call my local beekeep!". I don't even think I have a local beekeep, let alone a mental check to call him.

This really isn't uncommon knowledge, and there is a story on most local news stations at least once a year with a similar story. Bees will hive just about anywhere, including in the walls of your house. So, maybe it's the case of " GilloD knows least."

I find it hard to believe the guy didn't hear them - a bee hive is loud and generally has a cloud of bees coming and going around it.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 1:49 PM on November 14, 2008


but the fact that he put it on the internet in this manner makes me think he took delight in the whole process.

I have to disagree 100%. He might do so obviously demonstrating delight ("ya! got the fuckers!") or remorse ("it sickens me that I didn't notice the hive") but the mere fact of putting it on the internet doesn't decide it either way.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 1:53 PM on November 14, 2008


Dear Metafilter,

I recently discovered a scary cluster of these delicate yet dangerous beasts under my bed. Who should I call about this complicated problems? Please hurry I am running out of sausage.

I'll take my answer off the air.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:56 PM on November 14, 2008 [11 favorites]



I have to disagree 100%. He might do so obviously demonstrating delight ("ya! got the fuckers!") or remorse ("it sickens me that I didn't notice the hive") but the mere fact of putting it on the internet doesn't decide it either w
ay.


If you accidentally hit a dog with your car, and felt guilty about it, would you take pictures and put them on the internet?
posted by JimmyJames at 1:59 PM on November 14, 2008


Couldn't he have called an apiarist?

Now I'm in a bad mood. Thanks metafilter
posted by mattoxic at 1:59 PM on November 14, 2008


Dear Potomac Avenue,

Beedogs are generally malign, and will only attack if you poke them with sticks. I recommend calling the beedogkeeper, who you can find in your yellow pages. Just don't gas them to death like some kind of beedog Hitler.

XOXOXOX,

M
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 2:00 PM on November 14, 2008 [4 favorites]


generally benign
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 2:01 PM on November 14, 2008


"I have to disagree 100%. He might do so obviously demonstrating delight ("ya! got the fuckers!") or remorse ("it sickens me that I didn't notice the hive") but the mere fact of putting it on the internet doesn't decide it either way."

Yeah, I agree Durn Bronzefist. I'd hoped that "in this manner" would've got that across, but no, just putting it on the internet doesn't indicate it one way or the other. I read it over again, and it doesn't sound like he's overjoyed at the destruction... more a satisfaction in his ingenuity. Still rubs me the wrong way, but then I'm at the highly bee sympathetic side of things.
posted by Mister Cheese at 2:02 PM on November 14, 2008


With Africanized beedogs, all bets are off. They'll lick your face raw and get tons of slobber on you, just for walking in the front door.
posted by JimmyJames at 2:05 PM on November 14, 2008 [2 favorites]


Beedogs are generally malign

Oops, too frightening, stopped reading here. Now where'd I put that Zyklon B?
posted by Potomac Avenue at 2:06 PM on November 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


30,000 bees vs. 30 hornets. Sans fire, though.
posted by xmutex at 2:08 PM on November 14, 2008 [3 favorites]


If you accidentally hit a dog with your car, and felt guilty about it, would you take pictures and put them on the internet?

I dunno. If you accidentally hit your kid with your car, would you bury him in the garden?

Analogies are fun!
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 2:09 PM on November 14, 2008 [8 favorites]


Now where'd I put that Zyklon B?

Not funny.
posted by Dasein at 2:13 PM on November 14, 2008


I will note that I've had pictures of me in my bat-fighting gear (that's gear in which to oust bats, not a bat costume) and would have no hesitation putting it on the internet. I would do so because it these were unusual and interesting situations, not because I delighted in smacking the flying rodents around.

(in point of fact they were cute and I sang to them)
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 2:15 PM on November 14, 2008


Dear Potomac Avenue,

One year for Halloween, a friend and her dog both came to our house party in bee costumes. Never before or since have I seen an embarrassed dog. If you and your friends guffaw at your beedogs they will put tails between legs and slink back under the bed.

Hours of entertainment!
posted by fantabulous timewaster at 2:15 PM on November 14, 2008


Movie is gone. And presumably pirated? Bad mefi :(
posted by erebora at 2:18 PM on November 14, 2008


I like my women like I like my BBQs.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 2:20 PM on November 14, 2008 [3 favorites]


Not to split hairs here, but there is a huge difference between a 'swarm' and a 'colony' of bees. What that guy was dealing with was a colony because the bees had been established for many weeks, if not months. A swarm is a mobile group of bees looking for a new home. Swarming is the natural method for increasing population. As the bees reproduce and fill an existing hive they begin to feel cramped and that (and other things) trigger the production of a new queen. Once the new queen is reared roughly half the colony gathers around her and they leave the hive en masse.

Swarms are usually seasonal and behave completely differently than colonies. Swarms are mostly docile because they are intent on moving and protecting the queen, which resides in the center of the ball of bees. Swarms carry honey with them and bounce from tree to tree or whatever other structure they can find that is close and convenient. Beekeepers collect swarms by simply containing them and then providing them with a new home (generally a wooden hive box). You literally shake the whole mass of bees down in front of the hive and they walk right in...very cool scene.

When you see a crazy picture of a guy with his head in a big pile of bees...that's a swarm.

Colonies, otoh, defend their home to the death. Removing an established colony, while possible, is usually not a good option. I agree that this guy should have called any one of the list of people that would have been able to help, but just wanted to clear that up.
posted by limmer at 2:21 PM on November 14, 2008 [6 favorites]


I like my women like I like my BBQs.

Ashy?
posted by NoMich at 2:22 PM on November 14, 2008


They don't let you have bees in here.
posted by anazgnos at 2:29 PM on November 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


Couldn't he have called an apiarist?

RTFA. He had bees, not apes.
posted by mazola at 2:31 PM on November 14, 2008 [17 favorites]


OMG WTF BBBQ
posted by mattdidthat at 2:35 PM on November 14, 2008 [13 favorites]


I like my women like I like my BBQs.

Well I usually like mine clean and shiny, but even when they get all greasy with usage I keep using them. I do try to clean them up in the fall for winter storage though!
posted by Big_B at 2:40 PM on November 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


This makes me want to cry.

Perhaps there should be more effort made to educate people about what to do in situations like these. Most of us here know about CCD...the average person doesn't.
posted by oogenesis at 2:45 PM on November 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


*Nic Cage runs frantically into thread*

This is murder! Murder! You'll all be guilty, and you're doing it for nothing! Killing me won't bring back your goddamn honey! OH, NO! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! AAAAAHHHHH! OH, THEY'RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAAHHHHH!

*Mathowie breaks Nic Cage's legs*

Ahhh, my legs!

*thread sings and sways beatifically*
posted by Skot at 2:49 PM on November 14, 2008 [5 favorites]


Just throwing it out there, but if said douche is in the southern US, especially the southwest, the bees could be africanized, and reasonably dangerous. That's not to say he shouldn't have called a beekeeper.
posted by electroboy at 2:52 PM on November 14, 2008


If the bees were truly Africanized, the douche would not have been able to get close enough to kill them. I hear you just have to breath loud and they swarm out to kill you.
posted by brneyedgrl at 2:54 PM on November 14, 2008


Not necessarily true. Africanized bees are aggressive and persistent, but not quite as bad as they're made out to be.
posted by electroboy at 2:57 PM on November 14, 2008


I like my women like I like my BBQs.

Covered in bees and poison.
posted by FatherDagon at 3:06 PM on November 14, 2008 [9 favorites]


I find the paucity of grilled food in this man's diet a horror that is only surpassed by his willful destruction of the bee colony. That the man documented the episode proves to me that he is 3 kinds of stupid. I'm willing to bet there's a few more kinds we'll never know about.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 3:08 PM on November 14, 2008 [2 favorites]


Eddie Izzard does make the best bee noises.

I'm deathly afraid of bees because they're, well deathly to me what with the allergies and all, but the internet has information.
posted by OrangeDrink at 3:24 PM on November 14, 2008


Now where'd I put that Zyklon B?

Dasein : Not funny.

Zyklon Bee.

Better?




No. I guess not.
posted by quin at 3:30 PM on November 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


Movie is gone.

Meh. It was a B movie.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 3:40 PM on November 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


[Beedogs are] generally benign

The first eight are regular bees
posted by WPW at 3:43 PM on November 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'm surprised no one has mentioned that this apparently took place outside the US. He makes two references to the metric system and writes "ran like the clappers," a phrase I was previously unfamiliar with but thought sounded British. According to this it is almost unknown outside the UK.
posted by adamdschneider at 3:46 PM on November 14, 2008


Behold the terrifying majesty of the Hornimann Museum's Internal Beehive (Of Horror)
posted by Jofus at 3:47 PM on November 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


I don't think douche kills bees. I think it just makes them smell like citrus.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:50 PM on November 14, 2008


To clear some things up:

This happened in Australia - (Mortein is an Australian insecticide, all measurements given are metric, Jumbuck brand bbq).

"Ran like the clappers" is a term used in Australia.

Also, we don't have Colony collapse in Australia, in fact we export bees!
posted by tomble at 4:10 PM on November 14, 2008


Also:
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=664953
posted by tomble at 4:13 PM on November 14, 2008


I keep hoping someone will do something like this to the human race soon.
posted by archaic at 4:20 PM on November 14, 2008


I'm surprised at all the personal attacks in this thread. Don't remember too many people complaining when the wasp removal Ask MeFi question came up.
posted by archagon at 4:30 PM on November 14, 2008


archaic writes "I keep hoping someone will do something like this to the human race soon."

Someone? No, it's already happening but it's a collective effort. Get in a car and do your part!
posted by mullingitover at 4:33 PM on November 14, 2008


I just wanted to say the cicada story linked above by robocob is fucking great.
on preview: the typo can stand
posted by exogenous at 4:40 PM on November 14, 2008


What average person sees a few bees and goes, "Time to call my local beekeep!".

What average person doesn't know that beekeepers will come and take away a swarm/hive for you?

And, sure, the bomb may have been overkill, but he probably thought there was one of those little hives...

Do you even know what bees are?
posted by DU at 4:41 PM on November 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


Oh boy, another round of INTERNET KNOWS BEST. What average person sees a few bees and goes, "Time to call my local beekeep!".

You'd be amazed how many situations can be dramatically improved by not asking oneself what the "average" person would do.

Take a look at the average state of average society, the result of average people doing average things. This is your litmus test? Really?

People should be shunned for not adding a "Can this problem be solved without death" box early on in the flowchart. Why is that a hard concept?
posted by regicide is good for you at 4:44 PM on November 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


Alot of the indignation within this thread regarding CCD is completely unwarranted. This took place in Western Australia, which has absolutely no lack of bees. Australia has so many damn bees, we export them to the rest of the world. Ease up, people.
posted by Thoth at 4:48 PM on November 14, 2008


"Take a look at the average state of average society, the result of average people doing average things."

What's your definition of "average society"?
posted by archagon at 4:51 PM on November 14, 2008


What average person sees a few bees and goes, "Time to call my local beekeep!". I don't even think I have a local beekeep, let alone a mental check to call him.

Anyone who has grown up in the country, or knows anyone from the country.

We kept hives at my place for our local "beekeep" He'd come by a few times a year to maintain the hives and take the comb out and he's bring by a bunch of honey "for our troubles" or what have you. We liked honey but not quite enough because it was starting to pile up in the basement. We'd get a gallon or so a year and ate sort of normal food so it was tough to use up all the honey. We'd made honeyed walnuts, peanut butter and honey sandwiches, honey syrups and we'd even give away OUR gift honey because we had so much of it. There's probably still some down there in my mom's house, it never goes bad.

Now that I'm in Vermont I'm sort of a syrup snob, but I'll still buy the real maple stuff even if it's in the supermarket, but I only buy honey from the farmer's market from someone with their own bees. I didn't click the link, too depressing.
posted by jessamyn at 4:54 PM on November 14, 2008


Wasteful and sad. I understand that it's a fairly typical reaction that people have to honeybees, one made out of ignorance more than malice, but that doesn't make it any less depressing. I can remember being so afraid of bees that I would have wanted to "nuke from orbit first and ask questions later, har har har," but I was, like, 10 years old. Learning a little bit about the creatures that live around you and trying to overcome your irrational fears is really in your best interest, folks. The species you save may be your own.
posted by apis mellifera at 5:13 PM on November 14, 2008


"Can this problem be solved without death?"

posted by regicide is good for you

lol
posted by everichon at 5:20 PM on November 14, 2008


They were Africanized bees. They had little Obama stickers above thier stingers.
posted by shockingbluamp at 5:20 PM on November 14, 2008


anyone have a non borked link?
posted by yonation at 5:49 PM on November 14, 2008


That picture combines two of my phobias: swarms (1) and natural honeycombs (2).

I don't have a corn story, but the last few pictures of the honeycomb gave me a feeling of revulsion. Kind of like the lotus-boob effect, only milder.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 5:53 PM on November 14, 2008


What a dick.
posted by robcorr at 5:55 PM on November 14, 2008


I judged him first for his atrocious grammar, until I got to the hehehe and then the "weapon of buzz destruction" and then I found myself buzzing at him angrily and wishing these had been africanized bees. Gah. "Bee's" indeed.

(And I'm bee-phobic. Do you know how annoying this dude had to be to get a bee-phobic person willingly imagining bee scenarios?!)
posted by desuetude at 6:25 PM on November 14, 2008 [2 favorites]


Suburban DIY mentality. There isn't a home related problem Home Depot can't solve. I know, I've been there.
posted by scheptech at 6:26 PM on November 14, 2008


What average person sees a few bees and goes, "Time to call my local beekeep!". I don't even think I have a local beekeep, let alone a mental check to call him.

Anyone who has grown up in the country, or knows anyone from the country.

Exactly. This was a terrible waste, and while I understand the guy may not have understood how simple it would be to relocate the hive it is still a foolish thing that he did here. It would be like finding 50 cows in your backyard and shooting them all in the head cause you didn't know what else to do. Except the cows had stingers, yeah cows with stingers, but you get my point. It's a waste.
posted by nola at 6:32 PM on November 14, 2008


I don't have a corn story, but the last few pictures of the honeycomb gave me a feeling of revulsion. Kind of like the lotus-boob effect, only milder.

Holy shit dude that image still gives me nightmares.
posted by nola at 6:34 PM on November 14, 2008


If I found fifty cows, with stingers half the size of their body, in my back yard?

Yeah, I would kill them all, as quickly as possible.

I get your point, but holy shit that would be scary.
posted by paisley henosis at 7:41 PM on November 14, 2008


I am deadly allergic to bee stings. A bee sting has the potential to kill me dead. I don't like bees.
posted by ColdChef at 8:23 PM on November 14, 2008


I too am allergic not deadly but I puff up bad. A sting or two and you could rent me out as a bouncy castle.

If I thought there were a few bees taking root, I totally would have bombed it. If I knew it was a colony I was staring at I would have froze in fear until a roommate put my rigor body on a handtruck and wheeled me to a safe distance.

It wouldn't be fear if it wasn't irrational.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 9:47 PM on November 14, 2008


I think we've finally found the Honeycomb Hideout.

I APOLOGIZE FOR NOTHING!
posted by JHarris at 12:35 AM on November 15, 2008


o/` Honey Comb's big, yeah yeah yeah
It's not small, no no no
Wanker's got a big bad bomb
Big bad bomb will kill all the bees
Wanker's just killed all the bees! o/`
posted by Dreama at 3:20 AM on November 15, 2008 [2 favorites]


(turns to camera) 'Hello, we're arguing about bees.'
posted by Jofus at 3:52 AM on November 15, 2008 [7 favorites]


oh the beedog-manity*

(*not to be confused with the beedog-manatee, a hard-to-explain crossbreed)
posted by Hat Maui at 5:07 AM on November 15, 2008


Bees are on the what now?
posted by evilcolonel at 6:21 AM on November 15, 2008


Australia has so many damn bees, we export them to the rest of the world. Ease up, people.

Let's throw a coupla bees on the barby, mate.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 7:49 AM on November 15, 2008


We live in an area where it's half suburban and half farms. We had a massive, massive hive build up near our willow trees not long back. Now; I love bees, but my son and I are both insanely allergic to them. I knew there was a lot of honey production around here, so I called the honey company in the next county, they called a local beekeeper, he came out in full Defcon Beekeeper of Doooom gear, got the hive, and went away. Later, he swung by the house with pictures of their new home and a half dozen mason jars of honey.

Our house attracts bees because of the veggie garden, the butterfly garden, and I think maybe the decorative flowers I have growing on the arbor. We see a lot of bees. But I just sort of track where they're flying to and from, and when I see a hive, I call this guy. Everyone wins.

Bees are really important to agriculture. And not just in a hippy-dippy tie-die kinda way. Without bees, our crops will fail. That's how the majority of plants in this country get pollinated. Killing bees is signing our own death warrants.
posted by dejah420 at 8:08 AM on November 15, 2008 [4 favorites]


Killing bees is signing our own death warrants.

The occasional destruction of bee colonies with bug bombs is not the cause of CCD.
posted by Pyry at 1:34 PM on November 15, 2008


I don't have a corn story, but the last few pictures of the honeycomb gave me a feeling of revulsion. Kind of like the lotus-boob effect, only milder.

Holy shit dude that image still gives me nightmares.


Oh God. Thanks a lot for introducing me to the world of lotus boob and its freaky cousins...
posted by limeonaire at 2:05 PM on November 15, 2008


What the aforementioned "lotus boob effect"?
posted by NikitaNikita at 8:25 PM on November 15, 2008


Alot of the indignation within this thread regarding CCD is completely unwarranted. This took place in Western Australia, which has absolutely no lack of bees. Australia has so many damn bees, we export them to the rest of the world. Ease up, people.
posted by Thoth at 6:48 PM on November 14


How dare you try to stand in the way of a good old-fashioned MeFi outrage-athon?

If I had found that on my BBQ I would have had it melted down for scrap and probably burned the deck off the back of my house.

Nikita^2: Lotus boob effect.
posted by Ynoxas at 7:23 PM on November 16, 2008


The original link is dead, but I found another source for the pic in case anyone's still interested:

http://images.shoutwire.com/pic_full/chemicalwarfarebees_jpgdf008323-0fb9-48e5-9d51-2fae01de0ce7.jpg
posted by Shecky at 5:44 PM on November 18, 2008


Whoops, part 2 as well:

http://images.shoutwire.com/pic_full/chemicalwarfarebees2_jpg8691f26c-1d55-4834-bbb5-f809a1924615.jpg
posted by Shecky at 5:46 PM on November 18, 2008


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