Comments on: Children's Letters to God? Check.

Children's Letters to God? Check.

Lacking Subtlety — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:03:02 -0800

Children's Letters to God? Check.

Came across this and if they're real, they're very funny. Even if they're faked, they're very funny... That is all.

By: JBennett

JBennett — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:05:36 -0800

Dear God,

By: cjorgensen

cjorgensen — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:10:22 -0800

But I have the obvious questions 1. Where does one send such a thing? 2. How much postage is required? 3. They say you don't have to worry if you talk to god, you only have to worry if he talks to you. Does this apply to letters as well? 4. Does god actually write back? Or does he have a secretary handle all correspondence?

By: DU

DU — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:11:00 -0800

Pretty sure they are faked, but yeah, funny.

By: pracowity

pracowity — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:12:54 -0800

They look fake to me.

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:14:15 -0800

Dear Robert, What a coincidence! I am an American, too. God.

By: john c.

john c. — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:14:46 -0800

i like Ginny's - we could definitely use another holiday =)

By: orthogonality

orthogonality — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:19:01 -0800

Fake. Obviously.

By: rocket88

rocket88 — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:21:32 -0800

I'd like to see God's responses.

By: StickyCarpet

StickyCarpet — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:24:39 -0800

If you leave them near the hearth with the milk and cookies, Santa will deliver them to God.

By: Staggering Jack

Staggering Jack — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:25:41 -0800

I think they're all scanned from this book.

By: plexi

plexi — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:28:03 -0800

Dear Zeus I mean Odin I mean God, ROFL. -Kid

By: lampoil

lampoil — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:30:49 -0800

I think they're all scanned from this book. Yeah, I clicked "surprise me" and I the first thing I got was the one from Charles, aka "I'm not just saying that because you're God."

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:32:48 -0800

Dear God. Leave me alone about the embezzling thing and I won't bring up the Holocaust.

By: ob

ob — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:38:45 -0800

Dear God, Why is cannibalism bad when I eat your son every Sunday in church? Thanks, A Catholic Kid.

By: cjorgensen

cjorgensen — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:40:12 -0800

Since the letters are just scanned from a book (and uncredited at that) I am crying foul on the post. Copyright matters.

By: Lacking Subtlety

Lacking Subtlety — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:42:35 -0800

Since the letters are just scanned from a book (and uncredited at that) I am crying foul on the post. Copyright matters. posted by cjorgensen at 11:40 AM on November 18 [+] [!] Probably fair to cry foul. Like I said, i just came across it and had my doubts about origin, but found it funny. Didn't really investigate.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:43:21 -0800

Fake. Most kids of that kind of age (judging by the handwriting) would spell at least one in every three words wrong - a lot more foenetikal spelling. Hell, your typical adult can't spell as well as in those letters.

By: swift

swift — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:47:52 -0800

Dear God, I have faith that these are real.

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:48:17 -0800

Dear Catholic kid, My Son and I are one and the same. So eat me. yours, God P.S. reread this letter when you get to high school.

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:48:56 -0800

Dear God, I've taken what you've said (through your prophet(s)) about charity to heart. Enclosed is a certified blank check made out to you. Feel free to show up at my bank draw out as much as you like whenever you wish. (etc)

By: rusty

rusty — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:51:33 -0800

Dear God, I'm still waiting. Did you forget? I thought we had a deal. Call me.

By: kozad

kozad — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:53:44 -0800

Dear God, I can understand why Metafilter devotees can't help but stink up the joint with snarking when Thomas Kincaide (who invented the Painting of Your Light) is brought up, but why they can't let these letters to You alone is beyond me. And as you know, I am pretty fucking cynical, God. Kozad

By: fixedgear

fixedgear — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:55:51 -0800

Coming soon, kids letters to Santa Claus. Rear or fake? You decide.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 12:01:42 -0800

Dear God, How do you feel about books being copied over and over until you just can't tell if they're real anymore? Also - how long do you think it will take for this thread to be closed? Yours, IRFH

By: hellojed

hellojed — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 12:03:58 -0800

Dear God I love what you've done with Norway, fantastic stuff, really. Also, New Zealand. But the rest of it's kind of Meh, would like New Earth with possible Beer Volcanoes. Sincerly, Hellojed esq

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 12:05:44 -0800

Dear God, No, really, take care of the guy from XTC first. I don't mind waiting. Thanks, Tod Lokken

By: katillathehun

katillathehun — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 12:07:03 -0800

Dear Kozad, Sorry, Bub. I'm with Metafilter on this one. God

By: ND¢

ND¢ — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 12:09:26 -0800

Are you there God? Its me, ND¢. Good job on boobs and video games.

By: Bitter soylent

Bitter soylent — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 12:12:22 -0800

A Post Office worker at the main sorting office finds an unstamped, poorly hand-written envelope addressed to God. He opens it and discovers it is from an elderly lady, distressed because some thief robbed her of 100 dollars. She will be cold and hungry for the rest of the month if she doesn't receive some divine intervention. The worker organizes a collection amongst the other postal workers, who dig deep and come up with 96 dollars. They get it to her by special courier the same morning. A week later, the same postal worker recognizes the same hand on another envelope. He opens it and reads: "Dear God, Thank you for the 100 dollars. This month would have been so bleak otherwise. P.S. It was four dollars short but that was probably those thieving bastards at the Post Office."

By: jessamyn

jessamyn — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 12:16:12 -0800

What a coincidence, I was just YouTubing about god being (potentially) an American last night. [tags: selflink, narcisicism]

By: Wolfdog

Wolfdog — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 12:29:59 -0800

As I child I would have been more inclined to send out insulting letters to specific people of more certain existence, with God as the return address.

By: Mental Wimp

Mental Wimp — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 12:30:39 -0800

From the comments in the link:

I don't feel it's that bad for people to believe in something. Maybe more of us could learn a lesson there.

I agree. Believe in me. Send money to my newly created church at www.believeinmentalwimp.com. That is all.

By: filthy light thief

filthy light thief — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 12:34:12 -0800

Dear Kozad, Kids are cute, and they say amusing things. They didn't make that book, they just wrote those things (or something like that, which was mimicked by adults). Thomas Kinkade is a hack who abuses people's need for comfort by charging way too much for reproductions. I mean, seriously? This is your new work? And Nascar? Stop charging so much for "inspirational" items. Sincerely, filthy light thief

By: Salvor Hardin

Salvor Hardin — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 12:35:28 -0800

Dear God, I went to this wedding and the kissed right in church. Is that ok? -Neil Dear Neil, It depends on the shape of their genitals. Kindly check that and write back soon. -God

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 12:36:09 -0800

Dear Batman, Superman is picking on me again. You seem to be the only one he's afraid of. Will you talk to him? -- A Kid

By: chocolatetiara

chocolatetiara — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 12:42:17 -0800

I am usually pretty cynical, but I think these are real letters. Look at the names of the kids, those are straight out of the 50's and 60's, if not earlier. They had better penmanship in those times, people spelled words correctly too--it had a higher value.

By: Staggering Jack

Staggering Jack — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 12:54:04 -0800

A quick google of the author's name returned this article, which states the the origin of the letters:

It all started in 1961 when Hample was an author talking to students at St. Augustine's School in Larchmont, N.Y., about his The Silly Book, which had just been published. As he was leaving, he impulsively asked one of the nuns his life-changing question: "What do you think would happen if I asked them to write to God?" She said she didn't know but would think about it. A couple weeks later she sent him his first set of letters and he sensed he was on to something. He went to the town's synagogue to solicit more, then reached out to other schools, houses of worship and "grandchildren and children of friends."

By: everichon

everichon — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 12:57:31 -0800

Dear God: What is David Tibet on about? Sincerely, Everichon PS. and/or what is David Tibet on?

By: designbot

designbot — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 13:02:33 -0800

Copyright matters. Yes, won't someone think of the poor bestselling author who built his career on republishing the work of uncompensated children?

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 13:10:25 -0800

Dudes, this StumbleUpon to Metafilter dumping has to stop.

By: kittyprecious

kittyprecious — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 13:15:18 -0800

Dear jessamyn, Does that mean Bowie cribbed from Ferlinghetti? Does this mean there is no God? Yr pal,

By: Durn Bronzefist

Durn Bronzefist — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 13:33:17 -0800

Dear Satan, Did you make a deal with David Blaine? It's not the magic tricks; it's the weird stares.

By: kaytwo

kaytwo — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 13:43:24 -0800

Copyright matters. Not only this, but it also seems to be content ripped from the previous ripper. Oh ad affiliate programs, is there anything you can't corrupt?

By: NemesisVex

NemesisVex — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 14:03:42 -0800

Interviewing God. (Last updated Jan. 6, 2007.)

By: batmonkey

batmonkey — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 14:04:28 -0800

Danged spamblogs. Bah.

By: Servo5678

Servo5678 — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 14:08:29 -0800

Children's Letters to God? Check. To Jettison

By: srboisvert

srboisvert — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 14:46:36 -0800

Copyright matters. To god?

By: Potomac Avenue

Potomac Avenue — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 14:53:40 -0800

Coming soon, kids letters to Santa Claus. Rear or fake? You decide. posted by fixedgear at 11:55 AM on November 18 [+] [!] Dear Fixedgear, I'm going with Rear, that Santa Claus always was a creepy bastard. Sorry about that, --God

By: jack_mo

jack_mo — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 14:54:26 -0800

Fake or real, these prompted a really powerful blast of childhood memories about the vicar whose rubbish answers to my questions about God converted me from a rather suspicious six year old into a tiny militant atheist. I didn't even know his name and face were in my memory until just now, even though I sometimes tell the 'when I stopped believing in God' story, but both just came to me in a flash. Google informs me that he's dead now, and that someone I was at primary school with rang the bells at his memorial service, and that he was chaplain to the football club I support, which means we must've been unknowingly watching the match together a lot of times. It's probably a bit weird to be fondly mourning the priest who accidentally converted me to atheism in a LOLXTIANKIDZ thread on MetaFilter, eh? Do carry on.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 14:59:08 -0800

It's probably a bit weird to be fondly mourning the priest who accidentally converted me to atheism in a LOLXTIANKIDZ thread on MetaFilter, eh? Do carry on. Nothingness works in mysterious ways.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 16:06:10 -0800

Yeah, the one about "I can't manage to love the four people in my family" bit is what sets of FAKE sirens in my head. Little kids will scream "I HATE YOU" until they're blue in the face, but they would never even think of not actually *loving* their family members and would sooner write to G-d about ponies than "I can't love my family."

By: greenland

greenland — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 17:31:25 -0800

Children's Letters To Christopher Walken? Check.

By: troybob

troybob — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 18:51:46 -0800

...would sooner write to G-d about ponies than "I can't love my family." I don't know about that. At 9 or so, I tried to give my family the "It's not you; it's me" speech.

By: kozad

kozad — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 20:12:33 -0800

Well, filthy light thief, and others, if you're talking about money, I'm aboard with you. I personally found the letters charming and full of the ambiguity about God's supposed omnipotence as applied to the kids' little tiny lives, whose concerns are so huge, which then make one wonder about how one could possibly believe in a personal God who intervenes in each person's life...and if these letters are made up, they have, I am sure been written and or prayed before. That's the whole point of the propagandized Personal God.

By: DreamerFi

DreamerFi — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 05:21:02 -0800

2. How much postage is required? Depends. From here, it's a local mail. From your address, it's international long-distance.