Comments on: What a caper!

What a caper!

oxford blue — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:55:22 -0800

The plan isn't foolproof. For it to work, certain things must happen:

By: oxford blue

oxford blue — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:56:17 -0800

You can find more of Jack's stuff here.

By: Damn That Television

Damn That Television — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 16:04:23 -0800

I just read a bunch of stuff at McSweeney's before coming over here and reading this. Suffice it to say, going from McSweeney's to Jack Handey is like being impressed by a reasonably adroit team of middle schoolers playing 3 on 3 basketball, then turning around and seeing a robotic version of Shaquille O'Neal slam dunk Batman's skull into a goblet made out of snakes.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 16:13:42 -0800

The ~~plan~~ bailout isn't foolproof. For it to work, certain things must happen:

By: boo_radley

boo_radley — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 16:16:12 -0800

IRFH, I love you.

By: Marisa Stole the Precious Thing

Marisa Stole the Precious Thing — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 16:28:17 -0800

Once on the roof, Leon must be able to hold on to the hang glider with one hand and the money and the gold bars with the other and launch himself off the roof. Then glide the twenty miles to the rendezvous point. Still the only real way to rob a bank with style.

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 16:34:01 -0800

It's an allegory. It is about the bailout. Not a stretch.

By: rokusan

rokusan — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 16:37:34 -0800

Jack Handey? The New Yorker should have him writing on the Franken election. :)

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 16:40:41 -0800

It's pronounced "Fronken election."

By: Topkid

Topkid — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 16:46:32 -0800

- Nobody happens to notice that underneath our Nixon masks we are officers of the bank. - After we get away with the money, the government replaces it at the taxpayers' expense, and we pay it out to ourselves as bonuses.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 16:52:53 -0800

I'm from Metafilter and I can defunny a plate of funny.

By: krilli

krilli — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 16:59:57 -0800

That man is a genius, that Jack Handey. Who is he?

By: oxford blue

oxford blue — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:01:50 -0800

What, stuff can mean other stuff? Animal Farm isn't just about the animals and stuff they do?

By: potch

potch — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:02:55 -0800

Is all bank-robbery related humor now destined to become an allegory for the bailout? There go my next, like, five FPPs.

By: Salmonberry

Salmonberry — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:04:04 -0800

No kidding, AZ. —The monkeys must grab the bags of money and not just shriek and go running all over the place, like they did in the practice run. I want to train a band of monkeys in the art of robbery, and I think Jack may just be the man to help me.

By: i_cola

i_cola — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:14:31 -0800

Too many en dashes to be truly funny. (There's a place called No Kidding in Arizona? Cool!)

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:22:47 -0800

Y'know, you guys keep talking like he's not serious. But I think part of the plan is to lull people into a false sense of security. I don't think you'll be laughing so hard when the cops take those poor monkeys to jail.

By: lekvar

lekvar — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:29:37 -0800

Who is he? In a perfect world, he's the White House Press Secretary.

By: Navelgazer

Navelgazer — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:39:34 -0800

Wow. I laughed my ass off, but the thought never crossed my mind that it might be an allegory for the bailout. But looking at it that way, damn. It's just... It's not funny at all that way. What is wrong with you all?

By: oxford blue

oxford blue — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:41:42 -0800

I'm almost ashamed to admit but I'm with navelgazer; it's deeply funny without, you know, thinking.

By: CheeseDigestsAll

CheeseDigestsAll — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:45:40 -0800

Didn't this actually happen in a Donald Westlake novel?

By: Naberius

Naberius — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:46:04 -0800

"I want to train a band of monkeys in the art of robbery, and I think Jack may just be the man to help me." I think you'll find Doberman Pinschers more suited to the task...

By: Navelgazer

Navelgazer — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:46:50 -0800

To put it another way - satire about the bailout could be funny, no doubt, but Handey's comic voice is one of carefully-crafted blissful ignorance. If you superimpose knowing satire on top of that, the bubble is burst.

By: Marisa Stole the Precious Thing

Marisa Stole the Precious Thing — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:48:33 -0800

I think most of it read like any given episode of Adam West Batman.

By: SteelyDuran

SteelyDuran — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:51:01 -0800

IT sounds like he's really thought it through!

By: Bookhouse

Bookhouse — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:59:33 -0800

I really hope that Jack Handey is very rich. If not, I'll send him money.

By: fleetmouse

fleetmouse — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 18:22:27 -0800

By: shadytrees

shadytrees — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 18:27:59 -0800

Handey also regularly updates (I think; it's hard to tell from that archives page.) his Deep Thoughts website.

By: longsleeves

longsleeves — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 19:26:19 -0800

He forgot cats jumping onto all the keyboards at the FBI.

By: sararah

sararah — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 19:53:56 -0800

A really interesting Sound of Young America interview with Jack Handey a while back, from MetaFilter's Own YoungAmerican. Turns out Jack Handey lived next to Steve Martin in Santa Fe, just as Steve Martin's career started to take off. I guess Steve would come over and play the banjo -- awesome!

By: Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America

Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 19:56:31 -0800

So he's a literal ~~viking~~bank robber? I use "viking" to mean "high achiever" as often as practical. I like to think I'm making a difference.

By: oneironaut

oneironaut — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 20:00:45 -0800

I have a question. A few weeks ago, I made my very first post, which was a timely link to the news that Sen. Smith (R-OR) had conceded his race, making the Dem total 57 in the Senate. That was promptly deleted by cortex for being too thin. But, uh, single link posts to New Yorker articles are substantial enough? There's a bunch of these every week. Can someone please explain?

By: bru

bru — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 20:04:17 -0800

Really funny haha. Thanks. Nice tag, too.

By: Bookhouse

Bookhouse — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 20:34:47 -0800

oneironaut, that is a question better suited for MetaTalk.

By: oneironaut

oneironaut — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 20:49:27 -0800

Ooookay. Man, this place has a lot of rules.

By: dhartung

dhartung — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 21:00:03 -0800

Didn't this actually happen in a Donald Westlake novel? Reminded me a lot of Quick Change.

By: Navelgazer

Navelgazer — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 21:04:34 -0800

oneironaut: I feel ya, for real (seriously, you should lock your windows at night.) But my best guess is that this was really funny, and anything funny tends to get a bit more leeway than anything newsfiltery. As everyone is a little worn out by a full eighteen months of election-related news by now, another newsfilter-post was likely to get harsher judgment, no matter how worthy, especially if it was single link. Please stick around and try again. Everybody has a little trouble getting the culture at first. Good to have you around. (And yeah, questions like that work better on MeTa.)

By: oneironaut

oneironaut — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 21:08:09 -0800

Cheers, Navelgazer. Although, I have to say, this is one of the strangest parties I have ever paid a cover charge to get into.

By: pompomtom

pompomtom — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 21:13:30 -0800

the ~~plan~~ bailout You know, I read that whole article waiting for the bailout analogy to start. (and oneironaut, we were all sick to fucking death of electionfilter. I still am... they promised it'd stop after the concession, but it just seems to keep on going)

By: jack_mo

jack_mo — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 22:16:38 -0800

That was funny. (But I fail to see how it can be read as an allegory on the bailout.)

By: strangeleftydoublethink

strangeleftydoublethink — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 23:04:55 -0800

But I fail to see how it can be read as an allegory on the bailout. Monkeys. Shrieking. Hello?

By: pracowity

pracowity — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 23:06:08 -0800

But I fail to see... It's Raining Florence Henderson was joking and other people took it as gospel. Just as the Gospel was allegory taken as gospel. Or something like that. No, what I mean to say is that will be read that way if that's the only thing on your mind. To a man with a hammer, everything's a nail. To a population with a collapsing economy, everything's a government financial aid plan. Or an allegory about one.

By: oxford blue

oxford blue — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 23:36:15 -0800

Eeek, sorry oneironaut. :( If it makes you feel better people laughed *at* my first post, not with it! I'd like to say it gets easier, but I'm still surprised whenever someone finds some enjoyment out of any of my posts. While there are many exceptions, I think there is nothing intrinsically superior about a multilink post; it seems that often there is one good link, and the rest are just padding for that one good link. The variety of links:posts is what makes metafilter so great; there are posts for when you have a whole afternoon to dig into something, but then there are posts, like hopefully this, that you can read while making your afternoon tea. Please don't be discouraged; I do hope you try again!

By: therubettes

therubettes — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 01:40:49 -0800

I love Jack Handey - hes brilliance shamefully makes me want to quote Tina turner - 'Simply the Best'.

By: Civil_Disobedient

Civil_Disobedient — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 02:09:03 -0800

Handy's eulogy How I'd Like to Be Remembered is pretty funny as well.

He was fabulously wealthy, but he would pretend to be broke, and often tried to borrow cigarettes and money from people. Little did they know that those who gave him stuff would later be rewarded in his will, with jewels and antigravity helmets. Women who refused to have sex with him are probably wishing that they could turn back the clock and say yes.

By: Civil_Disobedient

Civil_Disobedient — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 02:09:27 -0800

Borked link.

By: Civil_Disobedient

Civil_Disobedient — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 02:15:41 -0800

Or, God, his Ideas for Painting

Stampede of Nudes The trouble with most paintings of nudes is that there isn't enough nudity. It's usually just one woman lying there, and you're looking around going, "Aren't there any more nudes?" This idea solves that. What has frightened these nudes? Is it the lightning in the background? Or did one of the nudes just spook? You don't know, and this creates tension. Abstract White No. 1 This is a solid-white painting. You might be asking, "Is it O.K. to put in a fleck of color here and there?" I give up. Do whatever you want. The Boxers Two boxers are whaling away at each other in a boxing ring. But then you notice that the people in the audience are also fighting one another. And it makes you ask: Who are the truly barbaric ones here, the boxers or the spectators? Then you can turn the painting over and read the answer: "the boxers."

By: ghost of a past number

ghost of a past number — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 04:22:13 -0800

Abstract White No. 1 They also come in black

By: cillit bang

cillit bang — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 04:32:30 -0800

All art should "challenge the limits of visibility".

By: ShadowCrash

ShadowCrash — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 05:38:42 -0800

Not to sound crazy (here comes the crazy part), but carrying out a heist with some monkeys seems like a genius idea. Even if they don't carry the gold for you, monkeys must be extremely distracting to the bystanders and police. I think you'd buy yourself 10 minutes while people try to get their heads around what's happening and if it's for real or not. Does anyone on the blue have 5 or 6 monkeys I can borrow for the weekend?

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 07:26:39 -0800

Love me some Jack Handey. Thanks, original poster!

By: schleppo

schleppo — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 09:39:57 -0800

You know, until now, I thought the Jack Handey of "Deep Thoughts" fame was not a real person. My world has been shaken. Thanks oxford blue! Great article! Would read again!!!!! A+++++++

By: aliceinreality

aliceinreality — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 10:14:06 -0800

Not as funny as this New Yorker humor piece, by a longshot.

By: garlic

garlic — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 10:22:48 -0800

Bank robberies in chicago on pace to surpass last years numbers, but not the record setting numbers of 2006. No monkeys mentioned however.

By: Atom Eyes

Atom Eyes — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 10:37:17 -0800

Not as funny as this New Yorker humor piece, by a longshot. Humor is subjective. I didn't find that one funny at all. It struck me as the kind of thing you can find in any college newspaper's humor section. The Jack Handey piece, on the other hand, is a perfect little gem of professional comedy writing.

By: Pronoiac

Pronoiac — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 10:49:53 -0800

The website was linked above, but not The Deep Thought of the Day.

By: 912 Greens

912 Greens — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 11:22:16 -0800

This one is good too: My Nature Documentary

By: Pronoiac

Pronoiac — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 12:48:07 -0800

How Things Even Out: "Eventually, I believe, everything evens out. Long ago, an asteroid hit our planet and killed our dinosaurs. But, in the future, maybe we'll go to another planet and kill their dinosaurs. "Still don't believe that things even out? Try this simple test: flip a coin, over and over again, calling out "Heads!" or "Tails!" after each flip. Half the time people will ask you to please stop." Their archive of his articles is a treasure trove.

By: oxford blue

oxford blue — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 15:49:52 -0800

Love me some Jack Handey. Thanks, original poster! posted by Mister_A at 12:26 AM on November 22 [+] [!] Thanks, responder! :)

By: grouse

grouse — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 23:23:04 -0800

It is only now, more than 15 years after I first saw Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts on Saturday Night Live, that I discover that he is an actual person.