Comments on: Minims

Minims

parudox — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 14:32:20 -0800

minim ['mInIm] n: a statement expressed in proverbial or sentential form but having no general application or practical use whatever — compare MAXIM. [via]

By: blue_beetle

blue_beetle — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 14:39:49 -0800

Wherever you go, there you are.

By: blue_beetle

blue_beetle — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 14:40:48 -0800

Of all the comments I've made previously, this is by far the most recent.

By: Caduceus

Caduceus — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 14:41:04 -0800

Don't stick crowbars up your nose. Am I doing this right?

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 14:47:11 -0800

That's what she said.

By: game warden to the events rhino

game warden to the events rhino — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 14:48:15 -0800

The New Statesman once ran a competition for proverbs similar to this. The title of the resultant collection, I believe, was An Owl In A Sack Troubles No Man.

By: CynicalKnight

CynicalKnight — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 14:48:25 -0800

This is the last time you will ever experience this moment.

By: MrVisible

MrVisible — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 14:49:22 -0800

A bird in the hand is worth whatever the going rate is for that particular species of bird.

By: game warden to the events rhino

game warden to the events rhino — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 14:54:07 -0800

Once bitten, bitten once

By: misteraitch

misteraitch — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 14:58:31 -0800

I was given a copy of the book as a Christmas present when I was thirteen or fourteen years old: I loved it, and have long used a few minims as though they were folk-wisdom of immemorial origin.

By: boo_radley

boo_radley — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:02:43 -0800

whereever you've gone, there you went. * nods

By: zoinks

zoinks — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:03:03 -0800

Yogi Berra quotes.

By: JimmyJames

JimmyJames — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:03:22 -0800

A sleeping dog, if left undisturbed, will continue sleeping.

By: spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints

spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:04:29 -0800

Necessity is the mother of Joseph Rodriguez.

By: dersins

dersins — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:06:34 -0800

Brown dog got ass hairs, too.

By: Fiasco da Gama

Fiasco da Gama — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:06:47 -0800

In the garden, growth has it seasons. First comes spring and summer, but then we have fall and winter. And then we get spring and summer again. As long as the roots are not severed, all is well. And all will be well in the garden.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:07:05 -0800

A bird in the hand is worth $.99 per pound this year, on average, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics estimates. But killing two with one stone is probably a small game or upland birds hunting violation, regardless of how early it got up or how many worms it ate, although local regulations vary.

By: George_Spiggott

George_Spiggott — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:08:25 -0800

Nobody ever went broke by underestimating the amount of money they had.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:13:24 -0800

Also, birds of a feather should be plucked, gutted, cleaned thoroughly, and brined for at least six hours before roasting.

By: ZenMasterThis

ZenMasterThis — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:17:34 -0800

If you think you know what's going on, you're part of the problem.

By: phirleh

phirleh — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:21:09 -0800

A bird in the hand is like a man in the sand.

By: autodidact

autodidact — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:21:54 -0800

A prayer and a dollar twenty five gets you a cup of coffee.

By: ageispolis

ageispolis — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:22:58 -0800

Hat.

By: localhuman

localhuman — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:24:07 -0800

A kitten dies every time a kitten's heart stops beating.

By: BeerFilter

BeerFilter — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:28:24 -0800

Three quick lefts make a right.

By: terranova

terranova — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:29:33 -0800

It is better to have loved and lost a souffle.

By: normy

normy — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:33:13 -0800

game warden to the events rhino: The New Statesman once ran a competition for proverbs similar to this. My favorite from that was something like, "The can opener only circles the can once."

By: doobiedoo

doobiedoo — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:36:03 -0800

a point is the shortest dimension of a straight line

By: sonic meat machine

sonic meat machine — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:37:04 -0800

In the end, the thing is finished.

By: Joe Beese

Joe Beese — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:38:33 -0800

This post is what it is.

By: StickyCarpet

StickyCarpet — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:42:16 -0800

There are two kinds of people in the world, so save your money.

By: defenestration

defenestration — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:42:22 -0800

So, this one time I was on the subway and I overheard a conversation between two guys and a girl. Apparently, they just had a BBQ and something went awry. GUY 1: Somebody stole the hamburgers. The girl was perplexed. The other guy seemed like he wasn't really paying attention. GIRL: Whattaya mean someone stole the hamburgers? GUY 1: Y'know how we used the frozen patties, right? Well, when I went to get one from the freezer, the box was missing... The girl sat silent, but the second guy seemed to know what was up. GUY 2: Oh yeah, I think I saw Joey take the box. Maybe he thought you didn't need it— The first guy then interjected with what might be one of the most unintentionally funny things I've ever heard in my entire life. GUY 1: Dammit, I had a feeling it was him. If he had just told me he was gonna take them, I wouldn't still have beef. I really didn't feel so bad that I forgot my headphones after that.

By: bookish

bookish — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:44:14 -0800

This is similar to one of my favorite past times, making up Fun Factz!, which sound like real fun facts, but on closer inspection are absolutely retarded. Did you know that if you unwound your small intestine, it would stretch three times around the equator of the earth?

By: The Power Nap

The Power Nap — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:45:11 -0800

An earless man asks 'what?'.

By: tellurian

tellurian — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:46:10 -0800

Ne'er the well be mind. Nor it be thine.

By: Lemurrhea

Lemurrhea — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:49:44 -0800

When all is said and done, it's time to go.

By: eyeballkid

eyeballkid — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 16:06:12 -0800

In the Kingdom of the Blind, people can't see anything.

By: carter

carter — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 16:09:50 -0800

He who laughs last, laughs last.

By: mgrichmond

mgrichmond — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 16:13:37 -0800

I loved the tagline from the trailer for MST3K: The Movie: "Every year Hollywood releases hundreds of movies. This is one of them"

By: Tube

Tube — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 16:15:08 -0800

Seeing the word "minim" gave me a bad flashback to my first year of pharmacy school, where we had to learn anachronistic units of measure like "grain", "dram" and "minim". When I left pharmacy in 2002, you would still see the terms "grain" and "dram" used occasionally. This demonstrates how tradition can sometimes trump reason within medicine. Circumcision is perhaps the most egregious example. But thankfully I never had to deal with a monstrosity like a "minim".

By: agentofselection

agentofselection — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 16:18:49 -0800

Lovers of stupid proverbs MUST play Wise and Otherwise. It is a game in which one player draws a card, and gives the (printed) first half of a proverb. The other players then make up and write down a second half. Then the first player reads the collected second halves, including the actual one (on the card), and the other players must guess the correct proverb. It is one of the best games ever. All time favorite proverb (the correct answer to which stumped all players): "A child raised by his grandmother..." "...is worth 300 yen less."

By: LMGM

LMGM — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 16:24:24 -0800

"It is what it is." I'm guilty of using this myself from time to time, and I always feel stupid for saying it. It feels like you're admitting defeat to the task of unerstanding the world. I need to shrug less...

By: william_boot

william_boot — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 16:41:13 -0800

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test. (Sigh.)

By: bunglin jones

bunglin jones — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 16:47:01 -0800

Find a penny, pick it up - all day long you'll have a penny.

By: stet

stet — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 16:47:05 -0800

Tautological cat is tautological.

By: theiconoclast31

theiconoclast31 — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 16:48:53 -0800

Unrelated.

By: chuckdarwin

chuckdarwin — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 16:51:45 -0800

I thought it was a half note.

By: BitterOldPunk

BitterOldPunk — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 17:04:14 -0800

The more you know, the less you don't. A squid eating dough in a polyethelene bag is fast and bulbous.

By: penduluum

penduluum — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 17:06:41 -0800

I like my coffee like I like my tea: strong, sweet, and black.

By: penduluum

penduluum — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 17:07:51 -0800

Life is what happens while you're making other plans, and at all other times during which you are alive.

By: team lowkey

team lowkey — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 17:10:12 -0800

defenestration: "GUY 1: Dammit, I had a feeling it was him. If he had just told me he was gonna take them, I wouldn't still have beef." Next time you tell that story, go ahead and change it to "If he had just told me he was going to take them, I wouldn't have any beef." Scans better. I know the "still" adds a certain something, but the readability ruins the intent.

By: brundlefly

brundlefly — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 17:12:32 -0800

I like my coffee like I like my women: a lot.

By: everichon

everichon — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 17:16:20 -0800

Sometimes the black cat will make biscuits on you.

By: team lowkey

team lowkey — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 17:17:48 -0800

Wolfman's got nards. Does anyone else remember this ancient proverb of yore?

By: Fiasco da Gama

Fiasco da Gama — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 17:18:14 -0800

I remember hearing Richie Benaud on the Ch9 cricket commentary make one of my favourite sporting observations ever: Well it looks like if they want to win the game at this point they're going to have to go out and score as many runs as possible.

By: Quietgal

Quietgal — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 17:42:21 -0800

Paradise is exactly like where you are, only much much better.

By: never used baby shoes

never used baby shoes — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 17:53:02 -0800

From my father in law: People are like potatoes, only less round.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 18:00:36 -0800

A journey of a thousand miles begins at a distance of a thousand miles from its intended terminus. A smile is just an upside down smile turned rightside up. It is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and eat a live bee. A stitch in time is often mistaken for a science fantasy novel by Madeleine L'Engle. God helps those who are the recipients of miracles. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frottle barontomy. Love means never having to say I am not in love. Don't put all your eggs in one basket if that basket is some sort of living organism that takes the shape of a basket in order to eat eggs. I was sad because I had no shoes, and them I met a man who had no testicles.

By: Faint of Butt

Faint of Butt — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 18:25:55 -0800

Well, as the Germans say, when you're up to your ass in crocodiles, don't stop to bake a cake.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 18:41:07 -0800

This comment is intentionally left unempty.

By: cashman

cashman — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 18:51:47 -0800

Years of related fun.

By: Bokononist

Bokononist — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 19:14:29 -0800

If you read just one comment on this thread, apparently it was this one.

By: Navelgazer

Navelgazer — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 19:15:55 -0800

There is nothing to fear but death, pain, debilitating injury, financial ruin, reputational damage, and the threat of any and all of these to our loved ones and families. Time waits for no man except for possibly a pilot flying westward at particularly fast speeds. Only the good die good. The plot thins.

By: maxwelton

maxwelton — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 19:31:56 -0800

Ceiling cat is a cat in the ceiling.

By: maxwelton

maxwelton — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 19:38:18 -0800

Red sky at night, it's probably sunset with high cloud cover to the west. Red sky at morn, it's probably sunrise with high clouds to the east. Monday's child was born on Monday. Tuesday child was born on Tuesday. Wednesday's child was born on Wednesday. Thursday's child was born on Thursday. Friday's child was born on Friday. Saturday's child was born on Saturday. Sunday's child was born on Sunday.

By: PlusDistance

PlusDistance — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 19:41:58 -0800

There are over 20 letters that cannot be found in the word "team."

By: darkstar

darkstar — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 19:55:44 -0800

He who laughs last is probably a little slow getting the joke.

By: the littlest brussels sprout

the littlest brussels sprout — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 19:59:54 -0800

From my father in law: People are like potatoes, only less round. Your father-in-law clearly has not met some of my relatives.

By: rifflesby

rifflesby — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 20:01:30 -0800

"Life," said Ford Prefect, "is like a grapefruit. It's round and dimpled on the outside, soft and squidgy in the middle, and has pips in it. Oh, and some people eat half of one for breakfast."

By: rifflesby

rifflesby — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 20:04:16 -0800

Oh, and a saying I've used for many years as a personal tagline: "When I smile, I have a mouth full of teeth; when I frown, I'm not even here."

By: rifflesby

rifflesby — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 20:09:27 -0800

(Which is more of a Discordian mondo, but arguably they're related concepts.) Sure would like an Edit function.

By: jarvitron

jarvitron — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 20:12:31 -0800

Two in the pink, one in the stink?

By: one_bean

one_bean — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 20:18:34 -0800

"Well it looks like if they want to win the game at this point they're going to have to go out and score as many runs as possible." That's bad. Not as bad as Joe Morgan: "they [Red Sox] cannot beat them [Rays] by outscoring them."

By: hortense

hortense — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 20:27:58 -0800

People living in stone houses can throw glasses the early bird catches the early worm

By: troubles

troubles — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 20:49:18 -0800

He died doing what he loved; being alive.

By: parudox

parudox — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 20:59:27 -0800

You are now the oldest you have ever been.

By: maxwelton

maxwelton — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 22:15:20 -0800

Youth is wasted.

By: Schmucko

Schmucko — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 22:28:36 -0800

Jeez, my original link on AskMetaFilter didn't get any favorites, and this FPP gets 16? And I've always been too intimidated to make an FPP, let alone one with a single link... That said, the contributions here are funny. I like my coffee like I like my women: hot, poured on my lap, and with a million dollar settlement from McDonald's. My brother and I once collaborated on what we considered the worst joke ever: Beethoven (who was deaf) and James Joyce (who was blind in later years) were given an elephant and asked to figure out what it was. They felt the legs, which were like tree trunks. They felt the tail, which was like rope. They felt the trunk, which was like a hose. Finally, Beethoven said, "I'm deaf! Deaf, not blind, you idiots! It's an ELEPHANT!" "Sure smells like one," said Joyce.

By: daniel_charms

daniel_charms — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 22:58:30 -0800

It takes two to duel.

By: Abiezer

Abiezer — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 00:15:15 -0800

The New Statesman once ran a competition for proverbs similar to this. I seem to recall one of the winning entries was "No man is a pylon."

By: msalt

msalt — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 00:20:09 -0800

Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a good banana.

By: team lowkey

team lowkey — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 00:24:48 -0800

It takes two to tango.

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 01:04:45 -0800

At the end of the day, it's night.

By: daniel_charms

daniel_charms — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 01:46:45 -0800

And Tuesday is not a fish.

By: stvspl

stvspl — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 05:52:09 -0800

a man's house is where he lives.

By: Secret Life of Gravy

Secret Life of Gravy — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 06:50:07 -0800

Some from the kitchen: If life hands you lemons, you won't have to buy lemons. A watched pot will never gather moss. Too many cooks will spill the beans. You say tomato, I say, "How much?" When you give someone a cookie, it means, "Have some dessert." Life is like a box of chocolates if it suddenly sprouted little feet and ran away. Sometimes a hot dog is just a hot dog, other times it is a chili dog. Apple pie without the cheese is like a shirt without the sleeves.

By: Enron Hubbard

Enron Hubbard — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 07:31:49 -0800

Since reading this, I have seen "A watched clock never boils" and "The black cat is always the last one off the fence" at two different websites. Is it a conspiracy?

By: Lemurrhea

Lemurrhea — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 13:02:45 -0800

Since reading this, I have seen "A watched clock never boils" and "The black cat is always the last one off the fence" at two different websites. Is it a conspiracy? posted by Enron Hubbard at 7:31 AM on November 27 [+] [!] Eponystirmation bias?

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 13:50:45 -0800

Minimmeh

By: Wrinkled Stumpskin

Wrinkled Stumpskin — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 13:55:22 -0800

If life gives you lemons, eat your damn lemons. Although, related: "If you're going through hell, keep going." W. Churchill

By: Deathalicious

Deathalicious — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 21:54:25 -0800

The title of the resultant collection, I believe, was An Owl In A Sack Troubles No Man. Troubles no man?!? Never put a blanket over an owl.

By: brundlefly

brundlefly — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 22:09:48 -0800

"When you wake up in the morning, it be different days." - Drunk bum on bus

By: ouke

ouke — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 04:31:28 -0800

Oldskool and in Holland only: if there's a sudden silence in conversations in a room full of people, somebody eventually said: "A reverend passes". After that talking started again, as if nothing happened.

By: Mr. Anthropomorphism

Mr. Anthropomorphism — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 10:01:56 -0800

My father once reached a point of frustration while working on a project of some sort and, in attempt to express dismay that certain actions had wrought undesirable consequenses he opined: "You know, you try to do something, and you end up doing something!" It actually has grown into more or less a maxim between us; I mean, were truer words never spoken less clearly?