It's Just Art, Dude

November 27, 2008 6:57 PM

Burton Snowboards' new Love (NSFW?) and Primo (NSFW?) snowboard lines are causing quite a stir across the country. Even the Burlington, VT, City Council wants to get involved. Here's what the Burton cofounders have to say about the whole thing.

Excuse the first two (Flash-based) links. There are multiple graphics for each board, choose them from the purple bar at the top of the site.

posted by papayaninja (43 comments total)

Weird, I distinctly remember going snowboarding a couple years ago and seeing other (non-Burton) snowboards and skis with various comic book nude women on them. I thought it was tacky, and being around kids on the lift, I thought it was lame for some teen dork to be sporting some giant boobs on an unrealistic fantasy woman on his skis in front of 6 year olds.

I guess it's like wearing a t-shirt that says FUCK on it. It may seem punk rock but it's pretty lame for everyone else if there's no point to it.
posted by mathowie at 7:03 PM on November 27, 2008 [3 favorites]

Not liking how I have to click my region before I can view any of the Burton pages (and it doesn't redirect!).

I'm with the Burton folks, though. They make some great gear. If people have a problem with the graphics on their boards, then don't buy it, it will go away.
posted by lou at 7:17 PM on November 27, 2008

Do they have any snowboards that endorse torture?
posted by stifford at 7:21 PM on November 27, 2008

This is silly.
posted by lee at 7:25 PM on November 27, 2008

Sorry again about Burton's site, I didn't know it would go back to the region and whatnot... This, (NSFW?) link is just pictures of some of the boards. There are a few more Primo boards, but I think they show all of the Love boards.

I agree that it's a dick move, but I think that people ought to be free to be dicks. Furthermore the Burlington City Council shouldn't have anything to do with this.

People see the same thing on TV all the time, even in commercials, but this happened to get way blown out of proportion. Besides, if you hit the slopes and don't expect your kids to hear some naughty words, you're a bit misguided.
posted by papayaninja at 7:27 PM on November 27, 2008

All I need to know I learned from the simple fact that there is no Love line for the women's boards*. Porn or no porn, whatever, but at least cater to those aren't just straight white** dudes, or yes, I will assume you're a tool.

*(I couldn't find on their stupid Flash site, but let me know if I'm missing them)
**who only like white chicks, apparently; white chicks who appear to be made of vinyl.

The Primo boards weren't so much offensive as odd.
posted by emjaybee at 7:40 PM on November 27, 2008 [1 favorite]

I like the Burton letters - nicely put. I was surprised by how mild the graphics on the boards actually are.
posted by lottie at 7:42 PM on November 27, 2008

only straight white dudes like white chicks? (jk)
posted by stifford at 7:45 PM on November 27, 2008

While the boards aren't tasteful in the slightest, I can't say I find them morally objectionable either. There's nothing more shown of the women on the boards than you could see at a public beach. So really, unless going to the beach is objectionable, and bikinis are objectionable, why are these boards bad?

The mutilation board, again, weird, but not objectionable. There's nothing graphic there, they didn't take a photo of a hand and Photoshop it or anything. It's a cartoon!
posted by explosion at 7:47 PM on November 27, 2008

As they stated in their letters, the Love designs were suggested by two of their white male snowboarders. I assume that their women's boards are likewise suggested by their female riders. Additionally, since as far as I know there are no structural differences, women can buy and ride men's boards.

The graphics are old Playboy shots, so talk to Hugh about the vinyl look.

As a 6' 9'' tall guy with size 13 feet, I have my own issues with snowboard equipment, but I don't make a whole anti-Burton campaign out of it.
posted by papayaninja at 7:51 PM on November 27, 2008 [2 favorites]

Can someone in the know tell me how difficult it is (or possible) to get custom graphics painted on a board? Cause frankly the stuff I'd want on a board I've never seen (partly due to copyright) and a lot of it just bores me.

This is juvenile. Perfect for boarding, really. Piss off a few more skiiers for good measure. :)
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 7:57 PM on November 27, 2008

Wow.
I was hoping that Burton was imitating American Apparel's racy ad campaign.
Instead I get the Sears Catalogue girdle section . . . the damnation of young christian boys who don't know about hipsters yet.

Are you sure you're not astroturfing for Jake?
I would think that he would be much more edgy.
posted by isopraxis at 8:08 PM on November 27, 2008

They seem pretty tame compared to some of the World Industries graphics I remember. Like this one. (All links NSFW!)
posted by monkeymike at 8:18 PM on November 27, 2008 [1 favorite]

What's Love Got To Do With It?
posted by netbros at 8:28 PM on November 27, 2008

It's only drearily predictable that a company primarily marketing to teenagers who need to feel defiant, dangerous, and above all put-upon will almost put naked chicks on their stuff, or give their product a name that is sort of a double entendre.

It's drearily predictable and embarrassing when some town or company takes the bait.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:31 PM on November 27, 2008 [2 favorites]

Jesus, people will get in a huff over anything.

Piss off a few more skiiers for good measure.

Really? I'm a skier and I don't give a shit what my snowboarding friends have on their boards, I just wish they were faster to hook their bindings back up at the top of every (!) lift.
posted by The Monkey at 8:33 PM on November 27, 2008

Gotta nudge em into getting step-ins.

The battle between boarders and skiiers is mythical to me. I only ever hear of it but never seem to find anyone who personally feels that way. Maybe it's all hype.

Like a few of those World Industries boards, monkeymike. But would still rather design my own.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 8:39 PM on November 27, 2008 [1 favorite]

Like this one. (All links NSFW!)

I suddenly wish I were cool enough to skate.
posted by Xezlec at 9:00 PM on November 27, 2008 [1 favorite]

There are many things in this world to be disgusted and outraged by. This is not one of them.
posted by gomichild at 9:01 PM on November 27, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'd just like to say that my Burton T6 is the most astounding snowboard I've ever ridden, and for that in my eyes they can do no wrong.

It's cool to hate Burton because they're corporate and expensive, but their boards do rock.
posted by unSane at 9:06 PM on November 27, 2008 [1 favorite]

Durn, I rode Burton step-ins for a while but I gave them up. They're no faster than a decent set of straps and have nothing like the feel. The longest I ever took getting locked in was with iced-up step-ins. And then there was the time I crashed hard and popped out of my bindings. That was a bad, bad moment. I think Burton have discontinued the SI series now, and with good reason.

My own experience is that us boarders are ready to go long before the skiers have finished yakking to their friends. Also, anyone who sits down to strap in needs to be put into a slapping machine and the controls turned to 11. Just sayin'.
posted by unSane at 9:11 PM on November 27, 2008

Unfortunately (IMO), the snowboarding industry's venture into step-in bindings has been discontinued. Vans bought Switch and stopped production at least 3 years ago. K2 no longer makes the Clicker. I don't think Burton or any other manufacturer makes any sort of step-in binding. Your best bet for speed is Flow brand, or K2's Cinch style. I haven't used either, but ease of entry/exit is a design priority in both. Although, as unSane stated, most proficient riders can strap in pretty quickly.
posted by secondhand at 9:32 PM on November 27, 2008

Not particularly fond of the images because they seem less like cartoon/sport/graffiti fun and more like something teens might use when ceiling cat is watching. Jake is a cousin (never met him - our grandparents were siblings) but heard he has a classic naughty rascal history that he's proud of and is part of the publicity direction of Burton boards. I think this was a deliberate publicity move to rattle parents and generate negative attraction for kids. Whatever.
posted by nickyskye at 10:07 PM on November 27, 2008

It seems that if you select your region once, then clicking on the links after that will send you to the intended pages.

Also: much ado about nothing, bikinis and prints ads, et cetera.
posted by paisley henosis at 10:08 PM on November 27, 2008

K2 no longer makes the Clicker.

That's a drag. I like my clicker bindings, but now I'll never be able to get new boots.

As for the naked chick boards, they're pretty meh. They're just not very good designs, IMO. And because of that, they seem extra juvenile.
posted by oneirodynia at 10:49 PM on November 27, 2008

They're no faster than a decent set of straps and have nothing like the feel.

I can't figure out from that if you or your friends are somehow slow with the step-ins or blindingly fast with the straps. Probably the latter. Haven't done enough riding with straps to speak to the latter, but I've heard that.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 1:05 AM on November 28, 2008

the 4 boards I could see are not even 'not safe for work' I mean seriously there are more suggestive advertising billboards arond then those images!
posted by mary8nne at 1:10 AM on November 28, 2008

I take this to indicate that Burlington City Council is up to something else they don't want the media to focus on. Something like a giant sticky Maple Syrup price fixing scandal.
posted by srboisvert at 2:35 AM on November 28, 2008

Isn't Burlington supposed to be a rather progressive city? This seems like an awful lot of fuss over nothing. There are so many more things one could be incensed about than cheesy 70s Playboy pics. I'm with srboisvert -- cherchez la scandale, there's gotta be something else going on.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 7:57 AM on November 28, 2008

(goes back to his increasingly performed banging forehead against desk)

Oh, look Burton boards!

(promptly cuts off finger, replaces it, and goes on a multistate, foam finger rape spree)

People need hobbies.
posted by Samizdata at 8:00 AM on November 28, 2008

I used to ride flow bindings. I really liked them, comfortable, quick, and precise. but then burton started making bindings with the toe cap instead of the straight down strap. that's whats up.

also, people who talk about skiers or snowboarders being superior to the other are posers. people who actually believe it are just crazy.
posted by MNDZ at 8:10 AM on November 28, 2008

double also, burton flips the own switch in almost every category.
posted by MNDZ at 8:12 AM on November 28, 2008

I think this is overcompensation for the fact that when I go skiing with any snowboarders I always have to drag them across the flat parts of the slope with my poles.
posted by Pseudology at 8:51 AM on November 28, 2008

To be fair, I've never heard claims of "superiority" but rather than snowboarders wreck ski runs. I fail to see it, though, unless people are boarding moguls, which is just weird. Mostly what I encounter are skiiers who say "looks like fun!", take a day falling on their tailbone, and go back to skiing because it's just not worth the transition pain when they're already having fun at something they do well.

Never seen toe cap bindings. They are teh shit, are they?

Here's what needs to become available: MAXX boards; Cthulhu (or Nylarthotep, or Hastur) boards; Dali boards; Escher boards; Bosch boards; OOTS or KoL boards.

Of course, I don't want to pay what any of those would probably cost; hence, wanting to get someone to paint one up.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 8:53 AM on November 28, 2008

Do they have any snowboards that endorse torture?

If you've never been on one before, all snowboards endorse torture.
posted by CynicalKnight at 8:55 AM on November 28, 2008

A bunch of mountains are banning their employees from using these boards.

I think the boards are pretty lame, but people reacting to them this strongly is probably exactly what Burton was hoping for.
posted by rachelv at 9:34 AM on November 28, 2008

I wonder if those women will get at all compensated.
posted by theefixedstars at 10:58 AM on November 28, 2008

Toe cap bindings are indeed teh shit. It jams the boot back into the heel pocket of the binding, which makes for far better edge feel without having to crank the upper straps until your foot becomes gangrenous (although I still do that out of habit).

Step-ins were slow for me because I liked them tight. With the Burtons you could either have them sloppy and easy to step into, or tight and frustratingly hard to get on. With a build up of ice, they could become impossible to click into.

I tried the Flows and again I couldn't get that rock-solid feel I like. I ride a super-stiff board with really stiff boots (short of an alpine set-up) and any slop destroys the fun.
posted by unSane at 11:10 AM on November 28, 2008

I think this is overcompensation for the fact that when I go skiing with any snowboarders I always have to drag them across the flat parts of the slope with my poles.

That's usually because we're forced to break for the skiers that block that flat parts by confusing skiing and langlaufing. As long as I don't have to break completely I usually can keep my speed by making small skate-board like "jumps" with the tip.

The boards: offensive, but only because they're so tacky.
posted by lodev at 3:33 PM on November 28, 2008

This is entirely a marketing opportunity.

(Former Burton Employee)
posted by k8t at 3:36 PM on November 28, 2008

The boards: offensive, but only because they're so tacky.

I was going to say "ugly," but "tacky" works too. It's nothing about the suggestiveness of the poses. It's all about the... well, tackiness. It's just bad. As in, not aesthetically pleasing.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 8:06 PM on November 28, 2008

Ah, I didn't realise women don't board. I'm just assuming, since they haven't bothered to design these with anyone but straight males in mind by the looks of things.

They remind me of a billboard poster of a naked woman, with the parts of her covered in text reading 'If this were France, this billboard wouldn't be censored'. I longed to go and write on it 'If this were France, this billboard would be less tacky'.
posted by mippy at 5:35 AM on November 30, 2008

I wonder if those women will get at all compensated.

Why should they be compensated? Presumably when they did their Playboy photoshoots they signed away all rights to the photos. Maybe Hefner should be paid, but that's up to the Playboy company, I assume.
posted by graventy at 5:40 PM on November 30, 2008