Comments on: Chainsaw Bayonet

Chainsaw Bayonet

Fiasco da Gama — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 18:41:33 -0800

Bayonets Are So 2007.

By: Cat Pie Hurts

Cat Pie Hurts — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 18:45:36 -0800

Useless without a stump attachment.

By: Kattullus

Kattullus — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 18:50:26 -0800

My downstairs neighbor lives in constant dread of the zombie apocalypse. She once asked me to check the attic for zombies, living severed arms, that sort of thing. I now fear that there will be one of those in my house soon. We'll be lucky if there's only a dismemberment or two.

By: billysumday

billysumday — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 18:52:07 -0800

I like how the one dude is wearing a Git-R-Done hat. Yes, my friend, you certainly Got-R-Done. Kudos to you.

By: fire&wings

fire&wings — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 18:53:19 -0800

loluhmuhrkuh

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 18:55:42 -0800

so that's what really happened with that 999 call

By: Slap*Happy

Slap*Happy — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 18:55:46 -0800

I like how his mom's laughing at him.

By: notsnot

notsnot — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 19:00:57 -0800

Is this where I say, "Christ, what an asshole"? Wow. I mean, I like shootin', and I love playing with souped-up chainsaws, but that's just...a bad idea.

By: Rinku

Rinku — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 19:01:07 -0800

Oh America, what shark hast thou jump't.

By: Muttoneer

Muttoneer — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 19:02:06 -0800

I've been playing too much Fallout... It's leaking into the real world.

By: paisley henosis

paisley henosis — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 19:09:41 -0800

This is a video game thing, right?

By: delmoi

delmoi — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 19:19:42 -0800

Wow. Look at the way that guy is swinging the thing around his feet going after those pumpkins. It doesn't look safe at all. (On the other hand, it looks like a pretty weak electric drive. I doubt that thing could actually cut down a tree and I'm not sure how easy it would be to actually dismember someone with it)

By: wavering

wavering — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 19:19:57 -0800

When do we get the followup video where he takes his fingers off?

By: blaneyphoto

blaneyphoto — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 19:25:34 -0800

Best weapon ever.

By: eriko

eriko — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 19:27:54 -0800

idkfa

By: Justinian

Justinian — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 19:36:08 -0800

Yeah, it's a video game thing. Specifically it's a poor man's version of the Lancer Assault Rifle from Gears of War.

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 19:48:43 -0800

i just thought of something to make it even better - you could duct tape a flashlight on top so you can shine deer

By: twoleftfeet

twoleftfeet — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 19:49:11 -0800

Chainsaws for children.

By: nola

nola — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 19:49:36 -0800

I was expecting that thing to kick back at is shin every time he wacked a pumkin with that stupid thing.

By: unSane

unSane — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 19:50:20 -0800

You couldn't cut down a tree with that thing. Now, attach an AK47 to my Husqvarna, and we're TALKIN'. /goes to tinker in workshop

By: Caduceus

Caduceus — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 20:01:06 -0800

That's... He... It's... Hmm.

By: netbros

netbros — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 20:07:55 -0800

What's dangerous and swings from trees? Well...

By: boo_radley

boo_radley — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 20:10:09 -0800

WE GUNNA MAKE THE GENEVA CONVENTION ASPLODE BOYS WOO

By: illiad

illiad — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 20:12:38 -0800

Yee. Haw.

By: pompomtom

pompomtom — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 20:14:27 -0800

Making up for a prior lack of chopper?

By: Baby_Balrog

Baby_Balrog — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 20:16:09 -0800

Sweet lord in heaven that's the coolest thing I've seen in quite some time. I dearly love my chainsaw. My father purchased it for me - I remember it like it was yesterday. I signed up to volunteer with a large group of other high school kids to go clean up Biloxi, Mississippi, after hurricane George. There was a terrible mess down there. I was in 10th grade. He asked what I wanted to do and I said I "wanted to clean up." He said, "Welp, you're gonna need a new chainsaw." I was so completely excited. We drove to Kingston's True Value Hardware and he took me to the chainsaw section. I remember walking down the aisle - I saw her and immediately fell in love. I had found the perfect chainsaw. The Homelite 14". She was so small and light... absolutely perfect. I remember my dad's face. He kind of frowned. "14 inch? You sure?" But it was perfect - it was so light-weight and it seemed to have a big engine for such a small blade - after all, if the blade was 14" that meant I could cut a 28" log! Plenty big enough and I could use it with one arm! It was the perfect chainsaw. He bought it for me, I took it home and learned ever inch of it. I cut up all kinds of stuff. It was amazing - I could take it apart and put it back together in five minutes. I learned how to sharpen the blade, how to grease her and replace any and all parts. I took it down to Biloxi and cleared many yards that summer. I cut broken down porches off of houses and I sawed up 2x4s to be used on new retainer dikes. I did everything - we did everything, me and that chainsaw. And she's still my favorite, though now I have an 18" and a 24". I still love that little chainsaw. And recently, I've fallen in love with this completely sweet backpacking rifle/shotgun combo that was given to paramilitary officers during the second world war and have been looking to buy one: the Springfield Armory M6 Scout. The absolute perfect gun for taking small game in the North American wilds. Combined with my tiny chainsaw and my tiny fishing kit I'd be a home-steading everyman! I think the best would be to find a way to combine all three. Gas-powered rifle-shotgun-chainsaw-10lb.-salmonreel. I think this is what I'll receive when I finally go to my reward, God willing. Good God I love this country.

By: Kid Charlemagne

Kid Charlemagne — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 20:30:22 -0800

It's probably a good thing I don't own a gun, since my immediate thought was, "What the hell are you going to do with that? Thrust, get a face full of God knows what, and then stagger around blind with a running chainsaw on the end of a rifle that you can't really put down to wipe the God knows what out of your eyes, so you can see to shoot whatever it is that's charging you to make you think you need a rifle with a chainsaw bayonet."

By: kcds

kcds — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 20:35:43 -0800

Yawn. Call me when you have a semi-automatic shotgun that fires chainsaws.

By: Marisa Stole the Precious Thing

Marisa Stole the Precious Thing — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 20:39:18 -0800

On the other hand, it looks like a pretty weak electric drive. I doubt that thing could actually cut down a tree and I'm not sure how easy it would be to actually dismember someone with it I think part of the offensive capabilities would be your enemy seeing you, laughing hysterically like Ash from Army of Darkness, revving this thing as you approach.

By: Class Goat

Class Goat — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 20:45:09 -0800

An auto-loader shotgun with a 20 round drum, and a chainsaw blade? That's what I want when the zombies come, baby!

By: Salvor Hardin

Salvor Hardin — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 21:01:08 -0800

Where's the video of him waiting for an ambulance holding his severed legs? Is this the same guy from the 911 call post?

By: tkchrist

tkchrist — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 21:29:43 -0800

Hey. BB. I have an M6 Scout. It's the only gun I kept after we moved back into the city (I got rid of the pistols). I keep it broken down as part of my survival kit (though I think I may augment that with 870 Remington). But I'll be damed if that liitle M6 isn't an accurate and fine little gun.

By: porpoise

porpoise — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 21:33:10 -0800

Wait, don't you want to minimize splatter when fighting zombies? That is, unless you're comfortable in chemical safety goggles and a balaclava.

By: munchingzombie

munchingzombie — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 21:36:46 -0800

bacon is to food as chainsaw is to gun.

By: Fiasco da Gama

Fiasco da Gama — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 21:40:59 -0800

Site down. I think we broke it.

By: martinc6

martinc6 — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 22:42:24 -0800

Wow I'm gonna patent this and sell the technology to the army for $5 billion. America is great.

By: and for no one

and for no one — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 23:15:22 -0800

...and don't forget the RPC.

By: rodgerd

rodgerd — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 23:17:38 -0800

(On the other hand, it looks like a pretty weak electric drive. I doubt that thing could actually cut down a tree and I'm not sure how easy it would be to actually dismember someone with it) I have an electric-chainsaw-on-a-pole, which is the same sort of thing I expect this was scavenged from. It's run off a 14.4 volt battery and when it's fresh-charged it will indeed lop big limbs off trees or take out small trees in surprisingly little time. (It comes on an extensible pole; at the 2 metre setting it looks like the kind of thing you'd design if you spent too much time with WH40K and wanted an excuse to mass-produce chainsaw polearms)

By: P.o.B.

P.o.B. — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 01:25:02 -0800

At first I was going to say how stupid this was, but then I remembered how good it works on giant city sinking worms.

By: pwnguin

pwnguin — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 01:45:39 -0800

For some reason, I'm also reminded of this.

By: twoleftfeet

twoleftfeet — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 03:55:04 -0800

"Chainsaw" was my noun for the day. Gucci chainsaw. Chainsaw comics. Chainsaw art. Chainsaw clock. Another chainsaw clock. Chainsaw clown. Another chainsaw clown. Chainsaw poetry. Chainsaw barbershop. Chainsaw dog. Chainsaw Jesus. Rocket propelled chainsaw. A damn fine noun, that "chainsaw".

By: longbaugh

longbaugh — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 04:23:19 -0800

Get a decent flash hider with spiky bits on the end and you don't need a bayonet either. A big hard sharp bit of pipe to the face is just as efficient as a blade and a whole lot less likely to snap (the British bayonet issued with the L85A1 was made of the cheapest steel available, an utter piece of shit). Baby Balrog - I know you're up on your firearms but the M6 came from the US aircrew survival rifle which was adopted in the 1950s. It was replaced by the Armalite AR-7. Neither of these mount a chainsaw as standard.

By: telstar

telstar — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 04:29:19 -0800

I really appreciated the laugh track, without which I wouldn't have known when to laugh.

By: robocop is bleeding

robocop is bleeding — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 04:35:58 -0800

Pshaw. My assault rifle shoots bullets made of chainsaws. I call it the Lumberjack.

By: Mastercheddaar

Mastercheddaar — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 06:37:03 -0800

As awesome as this is; It is probably completely worthless in a fight. Adrenal pumping, running up to a person to finish the job, then all of a sudden mom's famous words, when we were all younger, come back to haunt us "Don't run with scissors!" I doubt they give purple hearts for chainsawing off your own leg due to clumsiness. I still want one for Xmas tho.....

By: Vindaloo

Vindaloo — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 06:47:56 -0800

Woot, we're one step closer to making Warhammer 40k a reality!... wait a second...

By: Artw

Artw — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 09:16:26 -0800

In the grim future of the last month of 2008, there is only WAR!

By: quin

quin — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 09:19:39 -0800

I'm a little embarrassed to admit this, but I could nearly have been on this list; I was seriously thinking about gutting an old electric chainsaw, mounting it on my AR and sticking a bunch of batteries in the stock. I didn't because 1.) I'm lazy. 2.) As silly as my AR has become (lights, grips, scopes, etc) it is still essentially a shootable rifle. Mounting a chainsaw really adds to the weight and reduces the usability. 3.) I think that the Stabinator would be a better choice. tkchrist : I have an M6 Scout. It's the only gun I kept after we moved back into the city (I got rid of the pistols). I like my M6 too, but no way would I choose it over my pistols. (Though I only shoot for fun at the range, so in that respect the handgun is a far superior tool for my needs.)

By: zennie

zennie — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 09:58:27 -0800

In the video demo, I half thought though he was going to cut off his foot with that thing while he was aiming for the pumpkins rolling around his feet. You really shouldn't go chainsawing off your appendages unless they're infected with evil.

By: Artw

Artw — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 10:00:19 -0800

On the plus side it would give him somewhere to mount a robo-leg, another gun or possibly a road-drill.

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 10:28:14 -0800

I have a chainsaw. It's a tool. It's in my garage. With other tools. When I have time on my hands I use them for doing work. Aww, this is cute I s'pose. Just makes me think "What are you dong out there? Get away from my tools. If you've got nothing to do, I'll find something for you to do." Of course, my crochety old-manism is countered by my desire to use my tools to build stuff like trebuchet. Which can be used to hurl many running chainsaws a good distance.

By: heathkit

heathkit — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 12:10:07 -0800

Wake me when there's a: shotgun with hedge clippers flame thrower with weedwacker rocket launcher with tiller

By: cashman

cashman — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 13:00:32 -0800

Pssht. Come get me when there's an Automatic Shotclipflamethrowweedwacklaunchtiller.

By: codswallop

codswallop — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 14:14:27 -0800

Of course, my crochety old-manism is countered by my desire to use my tools to build stuff like trebuchet. Which can be used to hurl many running chainsaws a good distance. How about a ball of chainsaws joined at the handles? Man would that be a YouTube hit.

By: Marisa Stole the Precious Thing

Marisa Stole the Precious Thing — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 14:20:37 -0800

How about a ball of chainsaws joined at the handles? Man would that be a YouTube hit. It sure would be. Especially after the five or six high school kids turned it on, and it began to race wildly in random directions, digging up turf, mowing through hedges, chasing one kid up a tree, and basically acting like a live-action Acme product ordered by Wile E. Coyote.

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 15:12:04 -0800

Add monkeys and slinkys to that, and you've got a ball 'o chaos just waiting to be hurled over your neighbors yard.

By: Jawn

Jawn — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 15:15:24 -0800

A friend and I have a game where we try to combine two objects which should never be combined into a single unit that is not only impractical, but dangerous to use. The best one I ever came up with was the gunbulance, but another good one was the jackhammer/chainsaw combination. This chainsaw gun would have been a good one, I wish I had thought of it first.

By: tkchrist

tkchrist — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 16:04:10 -0800

tkchrist : I have an M6 Scout. It's the only gun I kept after we moved back into the city (I got rid of the pistols). I like my M6 too, but no way would I choose it over my pistols. (Though I only shoot for fun at the range, so in that respect the handgun is a far superior tool for my needs.) After moving into a condo with shared walls I didn't want to have pistols in the house anymore. Especially the SIG. The idea of accidentally discharging a 9 through four neighboring units freaked me out. I keep the M6 purely for my road and outdoor kit. Though, like I said, I might pick up my dads Remington 870 for my survival kit.

By: Joakim Ziegler

Joakim Ziegler — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 23:25:55 -0800

How about a ball of chainsaws joined at the handles? Man would that be a YouTube hit. It sure would be. Especially after the five or six high school kids turned it on, and it began to race wildly in random directions, digging up turf, mowing through hedges, chasing one kid up a tree, and basically acting like a live-action Acme product ordered by Wile E. Coyote. Nah, you'd obviously need to control it by swinging it on the end of a long chain.

By: Artw

Artw — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 23:41:20 -0800

The M6 can be nicely post apocalyptic looking.