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Aquaman - the joke that keeps on giving
December 3, 2008 3:15 PM   Subscribe

A See Monkey calls for detente on Aquaman jokes. I could include a bunch of links here, but Glen at NPR has already done all the work for me.
posted by ericbop (34 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite

 
Hi Aquaman!
posted by GuyZero at 3:18 PM on December 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


I don't hear you laughing.
posted by Joe Beese at 3:20 PM on December 3, 2008


So, we can move on to Hawkman now?
posted by justkevin at 3:20 PM on December 3, 2008


Whoops, already in the linked post. Always loved that bit.
posted by GuyZero at 3:20 PM on December 3, 2008


In case you miss the link, also check his McSweeney's Aquaman monologue, which is hilarious.
posted by middleclasstool at 3:22 PM on December 3, 2008 [2 favorites]


i love monkeys.
posted by msconduct at 3:23 PM on December 3, 2008


Remember when Grant Morrison had Aquaman use his telepathy to give everyone seizures? I liked that.
posted by Donnie VandenBos at 3:29 PM on December 3, 2008


Sorry, Jimmy! The ground rules allow only one survivor! You or Aquaman!
posted by EarBucket at 3:29 PM on December 3, 2008


NPR linked to some lame Aquaman song. Aquaman's Lament tells you everything you need to know about him.
posted by Tehanu at 3:30 PM on December 3, 2008


Yeah, Superman is a dick. What did he have against little Jimmy Olsen? That he was mortal? And then to mess with Lois Lane? That jerk deserves all the Kryptonite he gets.
posted by filthy light thief at 3:36 PM on December 3, 2008


According to Al Ewing the most powerful character ever would be Reverse Aquaman ("sort of like the Reverse Flash") as he can control everything that's not in the sea, even Superman.
posted by Artw at 3:50 PM on December 3, 2008


Donnie VandenBos - Yeah, Morrison made him a pretty cool member of the JLA. I think one opf Morrisons skills is that he can get to the point of any character, or create a plausible new one, no matter how superficially silly they seem.

(Seeing Aquaman without the beard and the hook hand kinda weirds me out. )
posted by Artw at 3:56 PM on December 3, 2008


THEY'RE ALL... PRE BAAAAAGED
posted by boo_radley at 4:02 PM on December 3, 2008


Jesus, all nature-powered heroes get this shit, all the time. What nature powers require to be all they can be is fucking *imagination* - as Grant Morrison's Animal Man and Alan Moore's Jason Woodrue made abundantly clear. Anyone who thinks Aquaman is inherently weak is suffering from a major failure of creativity, not to mention knowledge of biology.

Any time we meet someone who pulls the "Who'd want to be Aquaman?" garbage, a coworker and I love to think up new ways Aquaman could kick ass against the world. Remember that time you first read the part in Moore's Swamp Thing where Swampie showed up in the lettuce on a hamburger? Or the flora of someone's intestines? Like that. Think about the sea, and what's in it, and what's evolved from it, and carries the sea inside it still. Think about controlling all that.

Sorry, but that's some serious power. The fact that DC allowed him to become a relatively minor hero doesn't lessen the possibilities in the slightest. I.e., Aquaman rocks.
posted by mediareport at 4:04 PM on December 3, 2008 [2 favorites]


Captain Planet?
posted by Artw at 4:07 PM on December 3, 2008


So, we can move on to Hawkman now?

Hey! Hawkman has delusions of past lives and the ability to stalk actual Thangarians, that’s pretty cool.
posted by Artw at 4:12 PM on December 3, 2008


Aquaman rocks and if anyone knows where to get an orange chain-mail looking sweater, email's in the profile.
posted by jtron at 4:21 PM on December 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


When it comes to ludicrously underwhelming superpowers, Aquaman is God incarnate compared to the Wonder Twins.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 4:26 PM on December 3, 2008


Aquaman is God incarnate compared to the Wonder Twins.

Again.
posted by Joe Beese at 4:35 PM on December 3, 2008


Not even Alex Ross can put me in awe of the Wonder Twins, but I will grant you, that Gleek is fucking terrifying.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 4:53 PM on December 3, 2008


He made the Wonder Twins look like fervent Trekkies. That makes them not suck anymore? (I guess it's still a step up from other accusations).
posted by Gary at 4:58 PM on December 3, 2008


I, too, am unconvinced that rendering things in the cheesy national-socialist style of Alex Ross makes them automatically cool.
posted by Artw at 4:59 PM on December 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


But when Alex Ross draws things that are already cool, the effect is exponential.
posted by Donnie VandenBos at 5:01 PM on December 3, 2008


See, I prefer pretty much everything there when done by the original artist.
posted by Artw at 5:02 PM on December 3, 2008


Did I miss a link to Ookla the Mok's song Arthur Curry? I've always thought of it as the definitive Aquaman joke/tribute.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 5:05 PM on December 3, 2008


I know that I'm no Brainiac but I'm no fool
I know not even Peter David can make me cool


Wow. Burn!
posted by Artw at 5:08 PM on December 3, 2008


Didn't the joke start on SNL with John Belushi as the Hulk and Bill Murray as Superman? That's gotta be before Chappelle. I can't find the clip on youtube, but I'm sure I remember it.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 7:11 PM on December 3, 2008


Wait, NPR just declared a meme dead before I even knew it was a meme? NPR?!

I'm officially out of touch.
posted by greenie2600 at 10:25 PM on December 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


Wait, NPR just declared a meme dead before I even knew it was a meme? NPR?!

Boy, no kidding. Also, when I was a kid Aquaman was my fave. As someone else said above, Aquaman is seriously underutilized. He can command the substance and inhabitants of 75% of the world's surface.
posted by DU at 4:51 AM on December 4, 2008


Yeah, I can see why Ross's art isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I adore it, I really do. His work on Justice was incredible -- he remains the only artist I've seen who actually made the Riddler of all people look powerful and intimidating, while still being true to the character.

I've heard his Uncle Sam story was amazing, though I cannot for the goddamn life of me find a copy of it or a cbr scan.
posted by middleclasstool at 6:38 AM on December 4, 2008


I didn't see Maritess in there.
posted by MrMoonPie at 6:39 AM on December 4, 2008


I didn't go through the links here but please tell me that someone linked to the State where they did the aquaman skit. That is the best of all of them.
posted by LouieLoco at 8:49 AM on December 4, 2008


Aquaman+ Anger + Plus Giant Squid = Hard times for coastal cities.
posted by The Whelk at 4:09 PM on December 4, 2008


Parasite, I'll do you one better.
posted by Eideteker at 5:59 PM on December 4, 2008


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