WITH, LIKE, ELBOWS!
December 4, 2008 3:42 PM Subscribe
They're working their way up to opposable thumbs. It's only a matter of time.
For all we know they've already got them and are posting on metafilter right now. I will be watching all of you with the utmost vigilance.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 3:46 PM on December 4, 2008 [11 favorites]
For all we know they've already got them and are posting on metafilter right now. I will be watching all of you with the utmost vigilance.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 3:46 PM on December 4, 2008 [11 favorites]
This confirms my belief that there is an intelligent designer who took a lot of acid.
posted by allen.spaulding at 3:47 PM on December 4, 2008 [15 favorites]
posted by allen.spaulding at 3:47 PM on December 4, 2008 [15 favorites]
That is like the most horrible thing ever.
posted by norabarnacl3 at 3:48 PM on December 4, 2008 [5 favorites]
posted by norabarnacl3 at 3:48 PM on December 4, 2008 [5 favorites]
Let me be the first to welcome our new overlord, Cthulhu. If there is anything you ever need, please do not hesitate to contact me, your ever humble servant.
Please don't eat me.
posted by wayofthedodo at 3:50 PM on December 4, 2008 [8 favorites]
Please don't eat me.
posted by wayofthedodo at 3:50 PM on December 4, 2008 [8 favorites]
Ia! Ia!
posted by Faint of Butt at 3:52 PM on December 4, 2008 [3 favorites]
posted by Faint of Butt at 3:52 PM on December 4, 2008 [3 favorites]
The first thought that came to my mind was "How can I coat that thing in tempura batter?"
Is that wrong?
posted by Ron Thanagar at 3:53 PM on December 4, 2008 [5 favorites]
Is that wrong?
posted by Ron Thanagar at 3:53 PM on December 4, 2008 [5 favorites]
This confirms my belief that there is a camera operator who took a lot of acid.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 3:54 PM on December 4, 2008
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 3:54 PM on December 4, 2008
On the subject of recently discovered sea creatures, here's a fun gallery, also from from National Geographic: Surprising Sea Animals Discovered in 2006. You gotta love the furry crab.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:54 PM on December 4, 2008 [6 favorites]
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:54 PM on December 4, 2008 [6 favorites]
BAD TRIP. BAD TRIP.
posted by gman at 3:54 PM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by gman at 3:54 PM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
Man, I love Aphex Twin.
posted by mmcg at 3:55 PM on December 4, 2008 [8 favorites]
posted by mmcg at 3:55 PM on December 4, 2008 [8 favorites]
STRIDER!
posted by brain_drain at 3:55 PM on December 4, 2008 [14 favorites]
posted by brain_drain at 3:55 PM on December 4, 2008 [14 favorites]
This confirms my belief that there is a camera operator who took a lot of acid.
Remote controlled camera. Took a lot of robot acid?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:56 PM on December 4, 2008
Remote controlled camera. Took a lot of robot acid?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:56 PM on December 4, 2008
I am a giant squid. I swam up from the briny ocean depths. I have a computer, with a specially-modified tentacle-friendly interface. I have a fast internet connection. I seek to learn about humans and about the world. I have read much on the internet. I have read your Wikipedia and your dictionary.com... history sites and MetaFilter. Yet still, I have many unanswered questions. And you must have questions of me. We have much to learn from one another.
posted by netbros at 3:56 PM on December 4, 2008 [8 favorites]
posted by netbros at 3:56 PM on December 4, 2008 [8 favorites]
I was going to call bullshit on this until I noticed it was National Geographic. I guess the "YO" in your title conditioned me to expect a less-respected source.
posted by Joe Beese at 3:56 PM on December 4, 2008
posted by Joe Beese at 3:56 PM on December 4, 2008
I gotta say, for all the evils of The Oil Companies, they sure know how to photograph terrifying/awesome/rare creatures in the deep.
posted by ORthey at 3:56 PM on December 4, 2008
posted by ORthey at 3:56 PM on December 4, 2008
I bet Will Smith could kick that thing's ass.
posted by JibberJabber at 4:00 PM on December 4, 2008 [3 favorites]
posted by JibberJabber at 4:00 PM on December 4, 2008 [3 favorites]
Needs fucktheocean tag.
posted by shadow vector at 4:01 PM on December 4, 2008 [10 favorites]
posted by shadow vector at 4:01 PM on December 4, 2008 [10 favorites]
Is this a new discovery? I am certain I've seen a very similar squid before. I specifically recall the short horizontal upper arms, the elbows, and the very long trailing lower arms. I saw it in another underwater video of some sort. Not sure where...
posted by ryanrs at 4:04 PM on December 4, 2008
posted by ryanrs at 4:04 PM on December 4, 2008
Hey, that sounds pretty AUGH AUGH AUGH AUUUUUGH
Naw, that's wicked awesome.
posted by boo_radley at 4:05 PM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
Naw, that's wicked awesome.
posted by boo_radley at 4:05 PM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
UGH! It's like a squid impersonating a human!
posted by cowbellemoo at 4:09 PM on December 4, 2008
posted by cowbellemoo at 4:09 PM on December 4, 2008
*digs with elbow*
Ahh, hell.
Well anyway, here's another cuddly sea critter who will suck the blood from any mod who deletes this post: Vampire Squid from Hell.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:11 PM on December 4, 2008 [7 favorites]
Ahh, hell.
Well anyway, here's another cuddly sea critter who will suck the blood from any mod who deletes this post: Vampire Squid from Hell.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:11 PM on December 4, 2008 [7 favorites]
If this thing ever comes at you, just flip it over so that you can attack its weak spot for massive damage.
posted by Saxon Kane at 4:11 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by Saxon Kane at 4:11 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
Remote controlled camera. Took a lot of robot acid?
Remote control camera. Not a robot. Human operator. Monkey, maybe.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 4:12 PM on December 4, 2008
Remote control camera. Not a robot. Human operator. Monkey, maybe.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 4:12 PM on December 4, 2008
That's so cool.
Back before the Academy of Sciences got all revamped and fancified, there was a mural in one part of the (old) Steinhart Aquarium that purported to show what kinds of animals inhabited different depths of the ocean. The mural labeled the very deepest part as being lifeless. Ha!
posted by rtha at 4:16 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
Back before the Academy of Sciences got all revamped and fancified, there was a mural in one part of the (old) Steinhart Aquarium that purported to show what kinds of animals inhabited different depths of the ocean. The mural labeled the very deepest part as being lifeless. Ha!
posted by rtha at 4:16 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
I don't understand; what's the big deal about a murky long take of an Orgasmotron?
posted by goldfinches at 4:16 PM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by goldfinches at 4:16 PM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
all flapjax posts must have songs, or at least a list of songs.
http://www.squidblog.net/category/squid-songs/
posted by MNDZ at 4:17 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
http://www.squidblog.net/category/squid-songs/
posted by MNDZ at 4:17 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
i for 1 hope thies threadd getts deletted be4 you we hu-mons become needlessly alarumed squidz R harmless and do NOT eat pepple no mattar how delicus you we taste! haha!
slleep now
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:17 PM on December 4, 2008 [78 favorites]
slleep now
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:17 PM on December 4, 2008 [78 favorites]
Needs less gain on the camera control joystick. And needs to be in 1080p so I can see every freaking chromataphore on that thing!
posted by GuyZero at 4:19 PM on December 4, 2008
posted by GuyZero at 4:19 PM on December 4, 2008
You gotta love the furry crab.
When it was discovered I remember quite clearly that the French team the found the thing described it as being "the size of a dinner plate". You could tell what was really on their buttery French minds.
posted by GuyZero at 4:21 PM on December 4, 2008 [17 favorites]
When it was discovered I remember quite clearly that the French team the found the thing described it as being "the size of a dinner plate". You could tell what was really on their buttery French minds.
posted by GuyZero at 4:21 PM on December 4, 2008 [17 favorites]
And that's why I don't get in the ocean. Because of creepy shit like that!
posted by MaryDellamorte at 4:23 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by MaryDellamorte at 4:23 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
That creature will haunt my dreams at some point, I'm sure, but the article itself is pretty interesting, including questions about partnerships between the oil industry and scientists:
Some scientists, including Robison, are not entirely comfortable relying on corporations for new data. Andrew Shepard, director of NOAA's Undersea Research Center, is excited about the potential for new ocean resources, but he does have concerns. "Oil companies are there to develop hydrocarbons, not find new species," Shepard said. "These discoveries may, in fact, have a negative impact on very expensive and valuable lease tracts if someone decides a rare species needs to be protected."
...Research funds are getting scarcer, he added, and "with SERPENT we gain access to sophisticated ROVs for free. "These systems are based on vessels or rigs that spend months to years at a single location. This allows us to build up a much more complete picture of life in the deep-sea than would be possible with [only] academic ships and deep-submergence vehicles."
NOAA's Vecchione said he has "gotten a lot of interesting observations from the SERPENT project and other petro sources." But the oil-industry collaborations "should not get in the way of purely scientific exploration," Vecchione said. "We need to be careful about deep-sea conservation."
I was also surprised to learn scientists have already named *four different species* in this new family:
In 2006 a single damaged specimen from the North Atlantic led to the naming of a second Magnapinna species, M. talismani. And in 2007 the scientists documented two more: M. atlantica and a species based on a specimen from the mid-Atlantic.
That fourth Magnapinna species remains nameless, because its arms were too badly damaged for a full study. "However, it was clearly different from the three known species," Vecchione said.
I dunno, that seems questionable. I've always been more of a lumper than a splitter, but naming new species on the basis single specimens from brand-new families we barely know anything about seems more than usually premature, even for diehard splitters.
posted by mediareport at 4:24 PM on December 4, 2008 [5 favorites]
Some scientists, including Robison, are not entirely comfortable relying on corporations for new data. Andrew Shepard, director of NOAA's Undersea Research Center, is excited about the potential for new ocean resources, but he does have concerns. "Oil companies are there to develop hydrocarbons, not find new species," Shepard said. "These discoveries may, in fact, have a negative impact on very expensive and valuable lease tracts if someone decides a rare species needs to be protected."
...Research funds are getting scarcer, he added, and "with SERPENT we gain access to sophisticated ROVs for free. "These systems are based on vessels or rigs that spend months to years at a single location. This allows us to build up a much more complete picture of life in the deep-sea than would be possible with [only] academic ships and deep-submergence vehicles."
NOAA's Vecchione said he has "gotten a lot of interesting observations from the SERPENT project and other petro sources." But the oil-industry collaborations "should not get in the way of purely scientific exploration," Vecchione said. "We need to be careful about deep-sea conservation."
I was also surprised to learn scientists have already named *four different species* in this new family:
In 2006 a single damaged specimen from the North Atlantic led to the naming of a second Magnapinna species, M. talismani. And in 2007 the scientists documented two more: M. atlantica and a species based on a specimen from the mid-Atlantic.
That fourth Magnapinna species remains nameless, because its arms were too badly damaged for a full study. "However, it was clearly different from the three known species," Vecchione said.
I dunno, that seems questionable. I've always been more of a lumper than a splitter, but naming new species on the basis single specimens from brand-new families we barely know anything about seems more than usually premature, even for diehard splitters.
posted by mediareport at 4:24 PM on December 4, 2008 [5 favorites]
Is your octopus a goer Eh? *nudge*
posted by Smedleyman at 4:27 PM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by Smedleyman at 4:27 PM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
I saw this thing and my immediate first thought was "what sort of Cylon ship could that be?"
Thanks, Ronald Moore.
posted by heeeraldo at 4:27 PM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
Thanks, Ronald Moore.
posted by heeeraldo at 4:27 PM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
Wait, the Vampire Squid from Hell is real? I was convinced it was an elaborate internet joke until I found a reference on the PBS web site. Is that video CGI? Some of it looks real, but the shark is obviously fake. And what would a shark be doing at that depth? I'm confused...
posted by diogenes at 4:28 PM on December 4, 2008
posted by diogenes at 4:28 PM on December 4, 2008
Eva-01, Sortie!
posted by wayofthedodo at 4:32 PM on December 4, 2008
posted by wayofthedodo at 4:32 PM on December 4, 2008
Wow. Be sure to check 2:30 to 3:25 in flapjax' vampire squid video.
Now imagine a meeting of vampire and elbow squids.
*shivers*
posted by mediareport at 4:33 PM on December 4, 2008
Now imagine a meeting of vampire and elbow squids.
*shivers*
posted by mediareport at 4:33 PM on December 4, 2008
Be sure to check 2:30 to 3:25 in flapjax' vampire squid video
Seriously. Screw the elbow squid. There's a Vampire Squid from Hell! That's it's actual name. It wraps itself in a cloak of spikes; it's "eyes" glow and then shrink so you think it's moving away from you, and then it explodes in a cloud of light! How did I not know about this?
posted by diogenes at 4:37 PM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
Seriously. Screw the elbow squid. There's a Vampire Squid from Hell! That's it's actual name. It wraps itself in a cloak of spikes; it's "eyes" glow and then shrink so you think it's moving away from you, and then it explodes in a cloud of light! How did I not know about this?
posted by diogenes at 4:37 PM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
Dear Ocean:
Please stop terrifying me.
Love,
TW.
It's a Illithid! Ahhhhh!
posted by The Whelk at 4:44 PM on December 4, 2008 [5 favorites]
Please stop terrifying me.
Love,
TW.
It's a Illithid! Ahhhhh!
posted by The Whelk at 4:44 PM on December 4, 2008 [5 favorites]
That is not a giant squid with elbows.
That is Dagon, and we have awakened him.
Way to go, fuckers.
posted by middleclasstool at 4:59 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
That is Dagon, and we have awakened him.
Way to go, fuckers.
posted by middleclasstool at 4:59 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
I guess they hired the guy who did this video to do the filming for Cloverfield.
posted by Deathalicious at 5:02 PM on December 4, 2008 [3 favorites]
posted by Deathalicious at 5:02 PM on December 4, 2008 [3 favorites]
WHOA!!
And people wonder why I refuse to eat anything that lived in the ocean.
posted by trip and a half at 5:03 PM on December 4, 2008
And people wonder why I refuse to eat anything that lived in the ocean.
posted by trip and a half at 5:03 PM on December 4, 2008
I often like to think that Earth is a planet with two atmospheres: a very dense and heavy atmosphere comprised mostly of Hydrogen and Oxygen, and a much lighter Nitrogen-Oxygen atmosphere that sits on top of the H20 atmosphere.
We, as mammals, live in the warm, arid low-pressure atmosphere. But beneath our breezy, depressurized little canopy is an entire world where We Seriously Do Not Belong. Seeing these bizzare creatures gently floating along beneath the weight of their crushing, lightless atmosphere gives me pause when I consider the phrase "Save the Earth".
"Which one?" is now my usual response.
posted by Avenger at 5:03 PM on December 4, 2008 [15 favorites]
We, as mammals, live in the warm, arid low-pressure atmosphere. But beneath our breezy, depressurized little canopy is an entire world where We Seriously Do Not Belong. Seeing these bizzare creatures gently floating along beneath the weight of their crushing, lightless atmosphere gives me pause when I consider the phrase "Save the Earth".
"Which one?" is now my usual response.
posted by Avenger at 5:03 PM on December 4, 2008 [15 favorites]
So in the Gulf of Mexico you have giant elbow monster freaky weird squids, and in the Sea of Cortes you have not so giant but still pretty big and rather aggressive humboldt squids.
The only scientific conclusion is that squids hate Mexicans.
It's cool but terrifying and I'm so glad they don't live on land.
posted by Salmonberry at 5:09 PM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
The only scientific conclusion is that squids hate Mexicans.
It's cool but terrifying and I'm so glad they don't live on land.
posted by Salmonberry at 5:09 PM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
Am I the only one that thought of this?
posted by Sandor Clegane at 5:14 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by Sandor Clegane at 5:14 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
This is the kind of thing that makes me wonder why anybody ever bothers with science fiction. This world is already full of real-life crazy shit!
posted by gueneverey at 5:17 PM on December 4, 2008
posted by gueneverey at 5:17 PM on December 4, 2008
That vampire squid link is deeply disturbing. More disturbing even than Elbow Squid which frankly looks kind of like a windchime. A gelatinous, possibly sentient, terrifying windchime from hell, but a windchime nonetheless.
posted by mygothlaundry at 5:21 PM on December 4, 2008
posted by mygothlaundry at 5:21 PM on December 4, 2008
Man, I miss being near an ocean.
The ocean and it's inhabitants are so freaking awesome!
posted by oddman at 5:24 PM on December 4, 2008
The ocean and it's inhabitants are so freaking awesome!
posted by oddman at 5:24 PM on December 4, 2008
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:32 PM on December 4, 2008
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:32 PM on December 4, 2008
A long time ago, I was looking for videos to study cephalopod locomotion. I was fully braced to see weird shit, in fact, i was seeking it out. I saw this critter on the site that Ryanrs linked and I said to myself...
what
OH SHIT IT'S GOT ELBOWS
MOTHERFUCKING ELBOWS
Then I composed myself, and was reassured by the realization that that's less than halfway to thumbs.
posted by louche mustachio at 5:34 PM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
what
OH SHIT IT'S GOT ELBOWS
MOTHERFUCKING ELBOWS
Then I composed myself, and was reassured by the realization that that's less than halfway to thumbs.
posted by louche mustachio at 5:34 PM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
They’re Mad As Hell And They’re Not Gonna Take It Anymore
posted by homunculus at 5:48 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by homunculus at 5:48 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
The elbows are for hugging?
please don't eat me
posted by JimmyJames at 5:51 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
please don't eat me
posted by JimmyJames at 5:51 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
"From beneath you, it devours"
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:56 PM on December 4, 2008 [4 favorites]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:56 PM on December 4, 2008 [4 favorites]
Below the thunders of the upper deep,You can't tell me Tennyson didn't know a thing or two...
Far far beneath in the abysmal sea,
His ancient, dreamless, uninvaded sleep
The Kraken sleepeth: faintest sunlights flee
About his shadowy sides: above him swell
Huge sponges of millennial growth and height;
And far away into the sickly light,
From many a wondrous grot and secret cell
Unnumbered and enormous polypi
Winnow with giant arms the slumbering green.
There hath he lain for ages and will lie
Battening upon huge seaworms in his sleep,
Until the latter fire shall heat the deep;
Then once by men and angels to be seen,
In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.
posted by Pinback at 5:57 PM on December 4, 2008
I clearly remember seeing some of those in... um... er... what was it?
Oh! Got it: Half-Life.
posted by _dario at 5:58 PM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
Oh! Got it: Half-Life.
posted by _dario at 5:58 PM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
Stick that thing in some lime juice and red chiles for a couple hours and I'll show it who's boss.
posted by The Straightener at 6:03 PM on December 4, 2008 [3 favorites]
posted by The Straightener at 6:03 PM on December 4, 2008 [3 favorites]
deliciousness comes in many forms.
posted by stubby phillips at 6:04 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by stubby phillips at 6:04 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
Just wait until their peaceful but advanced civilization goes all Dagon due to mercury poisoning.
posted by benzenedream at 6:09 PM on December 4, 2008
posted by benzenedream at 6:09 PM on December 4, 2008
I love Metafilter Ocean threads! First, we get little champeen G. Sphaerica, and now this, a beautiful, elbowed squid - like a little ocean butler!
You all may think I'm a nutbar, but I see this and I want to go INTO the ocean, not stay away from it. What a beautiful habitat for such creative and adaptive creatures.
sslleeep now. Really. We meeen it.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 6:29 PM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
You all may think I'm a nutbar, but I see this and I want to go INTO the ocean, not stay away from it. What a beautiful habitat for such creative and adaptive creatures.
sslleeep now. Really. We meeen it.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 6:29 PM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
"Please don't eat me."
I think you mean, "Eat me first."
posted by Eideteker at 6:32 PM on December 4, 2008 [4 favorites]
I think you mean, "Eat me first."
posted by Eideteker at 6:32 PM on December 4, 2008 [4 favorites]
It seems to me that Dali must have had a second career bioengineering cephalopods.
The length of those tentacles was what got to me. Reminds me of an old Bloom County comic, when Oliver Wendell Holmes set out to make a long-tailed hamster. "Now *this* is a tail," he proclaimed, holding up something that looked about a foot thick and many times as long.
posted by A dead Quaker at 6:32 PM on December 4, 2008
The length of those tentacles was what got to me. Reminds me of an old Bloom County comic, when Oliver Wendell Holmes set out to make a long-tailed hamster. "Now *this* is a tail," he proclaimed, holding up something that looked about a foot thick and many times as long.
posted by A dead Quaker at 6:32 PM on December 4, 2008
Even though this is a double, I kinda want it to stay. Next time, dhruva, you gotta really sell it!
posted by chinston at 6:42 PM on December 4, 2008
posted by chinston at 6:42 PM on December 4, 2008
Tip of the hat to Shell Oil for letting us see this. No, tell me: Do we really have to drill the sea floor for oil?
posted by threadbare at 6:57 PM on December 4, 2008
posted by threadbare at 6:57 PM on December 4, 2008
"Oil companies are there to develop hydrocarbons rape the ever-loving shit out of earth, not find new species," Shepard said.
Fixed that for him.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:05 PM on December 4, 2008
Fixed that for him.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:05 PM on December 4, 2008
Ah, ha ha, no. No, no no. Nope.
posted by schoolgirl report at 7:08 PM on December 4, 2008
posted by schoolgirl report at 7:08 PM on December 4, 2008
It seems to me that Dali must have had a second career bioengineering cephalopods.
I have a personal theory that, if you've created many things during life ..narratives, stories, paintings, whatever, you get to be in control of aspects reality for a while after you die. Minor poets get to control weather patterns, you know.
Like, politically, the 08 race was all Kurt Vonnegut. Dali got the ocean exploration. Waugh still on tenure on High Society, ect ect.
I just can't wait until Clarke gets his shot.
posted by The Whelk at 7:11 PM on December 4, 2008 [11 favorites]
"From beneath you, it devours"
"it eats you, starting with the bottom"
posted by Philby at 7:14 PM on December 4, 2008 [8 favorites]
"it eats you, starting with the bottom"
posted by Philby at 7:14 PM on December 4, 2008 [8 favorites]
CAN'T SLEEP HORRORS OF THE BRINY DEEP WILL EAT ME
posted by scody at 7:18 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by scody at 7:18 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
Elbow squid is watching you masturbate. Seriously. Stop.
posted by The Bellman at 7:30 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by The Bellman at 7:30 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
can't sleep. squid will eat me.
posted by brevator at 7:35 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by brevator at 7:35 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
This is all a ploy from Shell oil to make us so terrified of the ocean depths that we don't mind if they drill.
Oh dear god this can't be real I'm going to have nightmares for weeks I'm never eating calamari again THAT THING WAS MOVING LIKE A NINJA!
posted by jnaps at 7:43 PM on December 4, 2008
Oh dear god this can't be real I'm going to have nightmares for weeks I'm never eating calamari again THAT THING WAS MOVING LIKE A NINJA!
posted by jnaps at 7:43 PM on December 4, 2008
I am all like an environmentalist and stuff and love the earth and whatnot, but someone seriously needs to invent an underwater gun and shoot that fucking thing in the head right now. We can feel bad about it later, but for right now that monster-looking motherfucker needs to die.
posted by ND¢ at 7:44 PM on December 4, 2008 [5 favorites]
posted by ND¢ at 7:44 PM on December 4, 2008 [5 favorites]
> *digs with elbow* Ahh, hell.
Clearly I have to work on my post presentation skills :)
posted by dhruva at 7:51 PM on December 4, 2008
Clearly I have to work on my post presentation skills :)
posted by dhruva at 7:51 PM on December 4, 2008
Scully, it's me. You're not going to believe this.
posted by Tehanu at 7:57 PM on December 4, 2008 [6 favorites]
posted by Tehanu at 7:57 PM on December 4, 2008 [6 favorites]
Tom Waits
"And the stranglers will take me
Down deep in their brine"
posted by DaddyNewt at 8:00 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
"And the stranglers will take me
Down deep in their brine"
posted by DaddyNewt at 8:00 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
Aquaman suddenly got a lot scarier.
posted by Tehanu at 8:04 PM on December 4, 2008 [3 favorites]
posted by Tehanu at 8:04 PM on December 4, 2008 [3 favorites]
There is a theory that the world was created as a paradise for the most beloved of all God's creatures.
Bipedal hunting-apes? Not even in the ball-park.
The world was made for giant squid. We're just living in it.
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:21 PM on December 4, 2008
Bipedal hunting-apes? Not even in the ball-park.
The world was made for giant squid. We're just living in it.
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:21 PM on December 4, 2008
We seriously live on the coolest fucking planet in the whole galaxy!
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:24 PM on December 4, 2008
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:24 PM on December 4, 2008
Damn straight. Now bring me more pizza rolls or I will sic my giant elbowed attack squid on y'all.
posted by Aquaman at 8:24 PM on December 4, 2008 [5 favorites]
posted by Aquaman at 8:24 PM on December 4, 2008 [5 favorites]
That is Dagon, and we have awakened him.
::yaaaaawn::
Oh, that little guy? I wouldn't worry about that little guy. He's all right.
posted by FatherDagon at 8:30 PM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
::yaaaaawn::
Oh, that little guy? I wouldn't worry about that little guy. He's all right.
posted by FatherDagon at 8:30 PM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
It appears that squid are slowly evolving into...hands.
posted by jamstigator at 8:54 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by jamstigator at 8:54 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
If you need a scary squid eraser: there is adorable to be found in the depths.... The creature is the living ancestor of a number of deep sea octopuses....
OK, maybe it does want to eat you, but it's still cute....
(well, heck...previously.)
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 9:02 PM on December 4, 2008
OK, maybe it does want to eat you, but it's still cute....
(well, heck...previously.)
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 9:02 PM on December 4, 2008
damn. there was a story in the sydney morning herald a few days ago about how a sydney scientist had recognised this "mystery sea monster" from a video doing the email rounds & correctly identified it.
i was all set to post a cephalopodfilter fpp when the URL search revealed that dhruva had beaten me to it by at least a week.
those favourites are rightfully mine, flapjax, ALL MINE!!!
(technically, dhruva's, but hey, whatever)
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:22 PM on December 4, 2008
i was all set to post a cephalopodfilter fpp when the URL search revealed that dhruva had beaten me to it by at least a week.
those favourites are rightfully mine, flapjax, ALL MINE!!!
(technically, dhruva's, but hey, whatever)
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:22 PM on December 4, 2008
IM IN YR CEFFALAPOD EATIN YR FAVRITS
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:28 PM on December 4, 2008 [3 favorites]
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:28 PM on December 4, 2008 [3 favorites]
yr in my ceffalapod? holy jebus man, do you realise what you're in for? They're jet powered, did you know that? They're jet-powered animals and their heads are covered in PREHENSILE TENTACLES. They're carnivorous and most are cannibals!
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:57 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:57 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
I really hope the Japanese don't make a robotic version of this guy.
I foresee them harvesting us a la the Matrix.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 10:04 PM on December 4, 2008
I foresee them harvesting us a la the Matrix.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 10:04 PM on December 4, 2008
Yay!
So why don't we have a theory about the "elbow" posture yet? I want WAGs, and I want them now.
If not from a real science guy, then from Karl Pilkington.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 10:06 PM on December 4, 2008
So why don't we have a theory about the "elbow" posture yet? I want WAGs, and I want them now.
If not from a real science guy, then from Karl Pilkington.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 10:06 PM on December 4, 2008
IM IN YR CEFFALAPOD EATIN YR FAVRITS
OMNOMNOMNOM
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 10:12 PM on December 4, 2008 [7 favorites]
OMNOMNOMNOM
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 10:12 PM on December 4, 2008 [7 favorites]
If you need a scary squid eraser: there is adorable to be found in the depths
And here's this cute li'l guy!
posted by Snyder at 11:29 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
And here's this cute li'l guy!
posted by Snyder at 11:29 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
It has been said before, but...
that is exactly why I do not swim in the ocean.
posted by C17H19NO3 at 11:31 PM on December 4, 2008
that is exactly why I do not swim in the ocean.
posted by C17H19NO3 at 11:31 PM on December 4, 2008
Well, it's odd, but I don't know why everybody
HOLYFUCKINGCHRISTITSTENTACLESSOLONGTOOOLONGTHETENTACLESDONTSTOP
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:33 AM on December 5, 2008
HOLYFUCKINGCHRISTITSTENTACLESSOLONGTOOOLONGTHETENTACLESDONTSTOP
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:33 AM on December 5, 2008
On related news, bored octopus juggles hermit crabs and throws stones at aquarium glass.
(I have fond memories of a mischievous octopus in an aquarium)
posted by _dario at 1:14 AM on December 5, 2008 [3 favorites]
(I have fond memories of a mischievous octopus in an aquarium)
posted by _dario at 1:14 AM on December 5, 2008 [3 favorites]
you know, you guys are sometimes the greatest pussies on earth. it's just a harmless little squid, minding its own business.
i keep meaning to take a photo of this, but when i was a toddler, the rockpools around cronulla beach in southern sydney were the place of weekend & holiday splashy choice. right beside them is a sign, saying "WARNING: blue ringed octopuses found in this area".
the signs are still there, last time i checked. and the next generation of parents are drinking beers while their kids poke about in the crevices in the tidal pools.
from the blue ringed octopus homepage linked above:
DANGER! The blue ringed octopus should come with a warning sign.
The blue ringed octopus is a small Cephalopod with a very dangerous poison that can cause death to an adult human in minutes if the bite is not treated correctly. There is no known antidote for the poison.
Special features of the blue ringed octopus include:
* live along the coast of Australia and some Pacific Islands
* ability to fit into very small places including under rocks, in cracks on the reef, in tidal pools and inside shells, bottles, cans and other detritus on the sea floor.
* protection of the eggs by the female who carries them around under her skirt/tentacles
* all features known to other cephalopods such as large mantle with 8 tentacles, intelligent, excellent eyesight and defence mechanisms such as jet propulsion, the ability to change colour and skin texture rapidly and elaborately, and ink skirting.
* and, a powerful poison that can kill an adult human in minutes!
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:27 AM on December 5, 2008
i keep meaning to take a photo of this, but when i was a toddler, the rockpools around cronulla beach in southern sydney were the place of weekend & holiday splashy choice. right beside them is a sign, saying "WARNING: blue ringed octopuses found in this area".
the signs are still there, last time i checked. and the next generation of parents are drinking beers while their kids poke about in the crevices in the tidal pools.
from the blue ringed octopus homepage linked above:
DANGER! The blue ringed octopus should come with a warning sign.
The blue ringed octopus is a small Cephalopod with a very dangerous poison that can cause death to an adult human in minutes if the bite is not treated correctly. There is no known antidote for the poison.
Special features of the blue ringed octopus include:
* live along the coast of Australia and some Pacific Islands
* ability to fit into very small places including under rocks, in cracks on the reef, in tidal pools and inside shells, bottles, cans and other detritus on the sea floor.
* protection of the eggs by the female who carries them around under her skirt/tentacles
* all features known to other cephalopods such as large mantle with 8 tentacles, intelligent, excellent eyesight and defence mechanisms such as jet propulsion, the ability to change colour and skin texture rapidly and elaborately, and ink skirting.
* and, a powerful poison that can kill an adult human in minutes!
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:27 AM on December 5, 2008
some more blue-ringed fun:
The blue ringed octopus has two poison glands that secrete different types of poison through the saliva. One type is quite mild and is used to paralyze crabs and other prey when hunting for food. The other type is very toxic and is used as a defence against predators, including people.
The blue ringed octopus has a painless bite that is not much more than a scratch. The poison in the blue ringed octopus saliva, however is very strong and can kill an adult human in minutes.
Bites generally occur when a blue ringed octopus has been picked up out of its pool or stepped on so most bites are inflicted on the hands, arms, shoulders and feet.
At first the victim feels nauseous, then there is a loss of sight, touch speech and the ability to swallow. In 3 minutes, the nervous system stops working, paralysis sets in and respiratory failure commences. Without immediate help the victim will die.
Mouth to mouth resuscitation and heart massage must be started straight away and continued until professional medical help is reached. There artificial respiration and heart massage will continue until the poison can work its way out of the victims system. This usually takes about 24 hours and leaves the victim with no obvious side effects.
Victims are aware of their surroundings throughout their ordeal but are unable to respond in any way. They may appear dead but if aid comes quickly enough, they will survive.
Because the poison is in the saliva, it can be ingested through the skin. Some people have reported a tingling in their hands after touching rocks or water recently occupied by the blue ringed octopus.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:32 AM on December 5, 2008
The blue ringed octopus has two poison glands that secrete different types of poison through the saliva. One type is quite mild and is used to paralyze crabs and other prey when hunting for food. The other type is very toxic and is used as a defence against predators, including people.
The blue ringed octopus has a painless bite that is not much more than a scratch. The poison in the blue ringed octopus saliva, however is very strong and can kill an adult human in minutes.
Bites generally occur when a blue ringed octopus has been picked up out of its pool or stepped on so most bites are inflicted on the hands, arms, shoulders and feet.
At first the victim feels nauseous, then there is a loss of sight, touch speech and the ability to swallow. In 3 minutes, the nervous system stops working, paralysis sets in and respiratory failure commences. Without immediate help the victim will die.
Mouth to mouth resuscitation and heart massage must be started straight away and continued until professional medical help is reached. There artificial respiration and heart massage will continue until the poison can work its way out of the victims system. This usually takes about 24 hours and leaves the victim with no obvious side effects.
Victims are aware of their surroundings throughout their ordeal but are unable to respond in any way. They may appear dead but if aid comes quickly enough, they will survive.
Because the poison is in the saliva, it can be ingested through the skin. Some people have reported a tingling in their hands after touching rocks or water recently occupied by the blue ringed octopus.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:32 AM on December 5, 2008
They're working their way up to opposable thumbs. It's only a matter of time.
How many times do I have to say this? You don't have to have opposable thumbs if you have, like, twenty gazillion arms.
posted by Kikkoman at 4:58 AM on December 5, 2008 [2 favorites]
How many times do I have to say this? You don't have to have opposable thumbs if you have, like, twenty gazillion arms.
posted by Kikkoman at 4:58 AM on December 5, 2008 [2 favorites]
This is the stuff Disney never shows ye. Think of how scary The Little Mermaid would have been... it'd be like The Shining.
posted by not_on_display at 5:05 AM on December 5, 2008
posted by not_on_display at 5:05 AM on December 5, 2008
This guy's like, the Silver Surfer to Cloverfield's Galactus.
Christ I'm lame.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 7:17 AM on December 5, 2008
Christ I'm lame.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 7:17 AM on December 5, 2008
The elbows are for hugging?
You keep saying you've got something for me
Something called elbows, but confess
You've been swimming where you shouldn'ta been swimming
And now someone else is gettin' all your best
These elbows're are made for hugging, and that's just what they'll do
One of these days these elbows are gonna hug all over you
posted by spamguy at 7:28 AM on December 5, 2008
You keep saying you've got something for me
Something called elbows, but confess
You've been swimming where you shouldn'ta been swimming
And now someone else is gettin' all your best
These elbows're are made for hugging, and that's just what they'll do
One of these days these elbows are gonna hug all over you
posted by spamguy at 7:28 AM on December 5, 2008
Me to co-worker: Hey! Come check out this giant freaky elbow squid thing!
Co-worker: Wow! That's freaky!
Me: I know right! Just imagine coming across one of these!
Co-worker has a horrified look on his face as he is looking over my shoulder
Me: What?
Me : Oh shit! He's right behin
*splatter*
posted by chugg at 7:31 AM on December 5, 2008
Co-worker: Wow! That's freaky!
Me: I know right! Just imagine coming across one of these!
Co-worker has a horrified look on his face as he is looking over my shoulder
Me: What?
Me : Oh shit! He's right behin
*splatter*
posted by chugg at 7:31 AM on December 5, 2008
Showing up to the thread late I see that:
1. goldfinches made the first joke that came to mind.
2. Smedleyman made the second.
3. I am, clearly, not the only one terrified of a giant squid invasion.
So, I've got nothing more to add. That thing's going to figure out how to walk on land, and then we're all screwed.
posted by SpiffyRob at 7:47 AM on December 5, 2008
1. goldfinches made the first joke that came to mind.
2. Smedleyman made the second.
3. I am, clearly, not the only one terrified of a giant squid invasion.
So, I've got nothing more to add. That thing's going to figure out how to walk on land, and then we're all screwed.
posted by SpiffyRob at 7:47 AM on December 5, 2008
This is sort of an inappropriate flapjaxatmidnite post, unless these squids are part of like an underwater gospel music collective.
posted by Kwine at 8:09 AM on December 5, 2008
posted by Kwine at 8:09 AM on December 5, 2008
Dear Ocean:
Please stop terrifying me.
Love,
TW.
It's a Illithid! Ahhhhh!
posted by The Whelk
Anti-ponysterical! Or something.
posted by ObscureReferenceMan at 8:22 AM on December 5, 2008
Please stop terrifying me.
Love,
TW.
It's a Illithid! Ahhhhh!
posted by The Whelk
Anti-ponysterical! Or something.
posted by ObscureReferenceMan at 8:22 AM on December 5, 2008
From the link:
The video is evidence of how, as oil- and gas-industry ROVs dive deeper and stay down longer, they are yielding valuable footage of deep-sea animals.
Excuse me please for sounding stupid, but why can't they just put cameras down and leave them down watching what swims/drifts by? I've got video cameras on my office building, why don't they do that for oil rigs?
posted by Pollomacho at 8:30 AM on December 5, 2008
The video is evidence of how, as oil- and gas-industry ROVs dive deeper and stay down longer, they are yielding valuable footage of deep-sea animals.
Excuse me please for sounding stupid, but why can't they just put cameras down and leave them down watching what swims/drifts by? I've got video cameras on my office building, why don't they do that for oil rigs?
posted by Pollomacho at 8:30 AM on December 5, 2008
You gotta love the furry crab.
When it was discovered I remember quite clearly that the French team the found the thing described it as being "the size of a dinner plate". You could tell what was really on their buttery French minds.
Haven't the French been spreading furry crabs for centuries?
posted by Kabanos at 9:13 AM on December 5, 2008 [3 favorites]
When it was discovered I remember quite clearly that the French team the found the thing described it as being "the size of a dinner plate". You could tell what was really on their buttery French minds.
Haven't the French been spreading furry crabs for centuries?
posted by Kabanos at 9:13 AM on December 5, 2008 [3 favorites]
Seeing this was a flapjax post, I expected the squid would be playing a couple of double-necked guitars or at least a few banjos. Meh.
posted by Quietgal at 9:33 AM on December 5, 2008
posted by Quietgal at 9:33 AM on December 5, 2008
Ozymandius, you ain't foolin' me with that one. And I mailed a journal with all the details to the newspaper, so your precious "world peace" is screwed whether you off me or not.
posted by straight at 11:05 AM on December 5, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by straight at 11:05 AM on December 5, 2008 [1 favorite]
ohmygodohmygodohmygod
Looking at the still picture was sort of "huh, neat", but when I saw the video of the thing moving with those unnaturally long spindly tentacles...
ohmygodohmygodohmygod
Something primal shivered down my spine. I had to turn it off or I would have begun screaming at work. I've never had a visceral reaction like that to a video in all my life.
posted by cimbrog at 12:37 PM on December 5, 2008
Looking at the still picture was sort of "huh, neat", but when I saw the video of the thing moving with those unnaturally long spindly tentacles...
ohmygodohmygodohmygod
Something primal shivered down my spine. I had to turn it off or I would have begun screaming at work. I've never had a visceral reaction like that to a video in all my life.
posted by cimbrog at 12:37 PM on December 5, 2008
*quietly adds Magnapinna squid as list of things Metafilter most likely don't want for Christmas*
Damn it you guys, ever since the box-of-siafu-ants fiasco from a couple of years ago, I just can't get a bead on you want, Secret Santa wise.
posted by quin at 2:04 PM on December 5, 2008 [1 favorite]
Damn it you guys, ever since the box-of-siafu-ants fiasco from a couple of years ago, I just can't get a bead on you want, Secret Santa wise.
posted by quin at 2:04 PM on December 5, 2008 [1 favorite]
Impressive but not as impressive as this
Yeah, too bad the story contains this information.....
The squid, a young female, "put up quite a fight" as the team attempted to bring it aboard, Kudobera told the Associated Press, and the animal died from injuries sustained during the capture.....
[...]
"Now that we know where to find them, we think we can be more successful at studying them in the future," he said.
I'm pretty sure they all die the same way, assholes.
posted by Dark Messiah at 2:19 PM on December 5, 2008
Yeah, too bad the story contains this information.....
The squid, a young female, "put up quite a fight" as the team attempted to bring it aboard, Kudobera told the Associated Press, and the animal died from injuries sustained during the capture.....
[...]
"Now that we know where to find them, we think we can be more successful at studying them in the future," he said.
I'm pretty sure they all die the same way, assholes.
posted by Dark Messiah at 2:19 PM on December 5, 2008
Quietgal writes: Seeing this was a flapjax post, I expected the squid would be playing a couple of double-necked guitars or at least a few banjos.
Actually, there are some videos like you've described, Quietgal, floating around (*rim shot*) on the net (*rim shot*) but I'm saving those for my upcoming "squids n' strings" post. I've got a killer clip of one of these things accompanying him ceph (*rim shot*) on the quadruple-necked ukulele.
While strangling a scuba diver to death with his remaining free tentacles. (*sad trombone*)
posted by flapjax at midnite at 2:54 PM on December 5, 2008
Actually, there are some videos like you've described, Quietgal, floating around (*rim shot*) on the net (*rim shot*) but I'm saving those for my upcoming "squids n' strings" post. I've got a killer clip of one of these things accompanying him ceph (*rim shot*) on the quadruple-necked ukulele.
While strangling a scuba diver to death with his remaining free tentacles. (*sad trombone*)
posted by flapjax at midnite at 2:54 PM on December 5, 2008
but when I saw the video of the thing moving with those unnaturally long spindly tentacles...
Those "long spindly tentacles" are 100% natural. I would suggest, sir, that you keep the comments typed with your stunted air ape arms to yourself, and not insult the ocean community at large.
posted by benzenedream at 3:46 PM on December 5, 2008 [1 favorite]
Those "long spindly tentacles" are 100% natural. I would suggest, sir, that you keep the comments typed with your stunted air ape arms to yourself, and not insult the ocean community at large.
posted by benzenedream at 3:46 PM on December 5, 2008 [1 favorite]
The squid, a young female, "put up quite a fight" as the team attempted to bring it aboard, Kudobera told the Associated Press, and the animal died from injuries sustained during the capture.....
Way to bring the situation to a head, you fools. Just wait until the squids reciprocate. I can see it now in the Squid Tribune: "Unfortunately, the wimpering land mammal died from injuries sustained during the capture. Glorple, glorple, glorple."
posted by Kikkoman at 4:11 PM on December 5, 2008 [1 favorite]
Way to bring the situation to a head, you fools. Just wait until the squids reciprocate. I can see it now in the Squid Tribune: "Unfortunately, the wimpering land mammal died from injuries sustained during the capture. Glorple, glorple, glorple."
posted by Kikkoman at 4:11 PM on December 5, 2008 [1 favorite]
fast and bulbous!
posted by vronsky at 6:50 PM on December 5, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by vronsky at 6:50 PM on December 5, 2008 [2 favorites]
So this thread can be summed up thusly:
Mefite 1: Cool!
Mefite 2: Scary!
Mefite 3: Tasty!
I am definitely in camp #1, but can see the appeal of the #3 option as well.
posted by TedW at 6:53 PM on December 5, 2008
Mefite 1: Cool!
Mefite 2: Scary!
Mefite 3: Tasty!
I am definitely in camp #1, but can see the appeal of the #3 option as well.
posted by TedW at 6:53 PM on December 5, 2008
I dunno how tasty these would be; I seem to remember reading somewhere that the giant squid (architeuthis dux ) regulated its buoyancy by using ammonia and not air (or it'd explode at such high water pressure) which rendered it pretty much inedible. While I can't say that's the same with this squid, I wouldn't be surprised, given that it is under similar pressures.
posted by heeeraldo at 9:01 PM on December 5, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by heeeraldo at 9:01 PM on December 5, 2008 [1 favorite]
fast and bulbous!
Beefheart is always relevant.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 12:40 AM on December 6, 2008
Beefheart is always relevant.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 12:40 AM on December 6, 2008
On the subject of Dali as genetic engineer: Not this time. The spindly elephants, yes.
But hellish sealife had already been done to death by Bosch.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:58 AM on December 6, 2008
But hellish sealife had already been done to death by Bosch.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:58 AM on December 6, 2008
I've watched this at least ten times since I first saw your post. Some day I hope to be able to go to an iMax and see a movie of nothing but giant squid video. It would be scarier and cooler than any movie I've ever seen before. I'd love some good high res footage, but I'd hope that they'd also have at least a few grainy videos like the ones we've been seeing that past year or so. MORE GIANT SQUIDS!!!
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 7:23 PM on December 6, 2008
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 7:23 PM on December 6, 2008
« Older How to Make All the Meat You Eat Out of Wheat | The Body Swap Illusion Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by tommasz at 3:44 PM on December 4, 2008 [8 favorites]