Two of Six Washed Up Feet Matched by DNA

December 6, 2008 10:56 AM

Two of Six Washed Up Feet Matched by DNA Mentioned on MeFi at least once before, this is the latest news in the saga of six human feet (enclosed in shoes) that have, over the past few years, washed up along the coast of BC. DNA testing has proven that two of the dismembered feet--found six months apart and clad in size 7 New Balance running shoes--apparently belonged to the same woman. I'm guessing the matching sneakers were a clue. Two down, four to go.
posted by dbarefoot (34 comments total)

So the explanation is: people sometimes die in the water, their bodies fall apart, New Balance running shoes are buoyant, and ocean currents flow past the BC coast?
posted by scheptech at 11:05 AM on December 6, 2008

eponysterical

Think of all the loose feet in ice skates, littering the bottom of the Gulf of Georgia
posted by Rumple at 11:08 AM on December 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

This reminds me of a scene in the movie Funny Bones. A severed foot has washed up on the beach at Blackpool, setting of a media frenzy. A few days later, another one washes off. A fellow from the Blackpool chamber of commerce, or something, goes to speak about the new foot. One of the reporters interrupts his angrily.

"I though you said the last one was a one-off," he says.

"Both feet came from the same person," the civil servant says. "It's still a one-off."

The press looks confused.

"Come on now," the civil servant says. "Two feet. Everybody has two feet. Have you ever heard of a man with only one foot?"
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:09 AM on December 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

"In all cases, these remains appear to have naturally separated from the body. There is no forensic evidence at this time to support anything other than disarticulation as there are no tool or trauma marks on the remains," Foster said.

So it's all just a coincidence to have so many wash up at the same time? I guess weirder things have happened.
posted by Nattie at 11:09 AM on December 6, 2008

@Rumple Heh, thanks for teaching me a new word. To add to the irony, 'Barefoot' is actually my last name.
posted by dbarefoot at 11:11 AM on December 6, 2008

"In all cases, these remains appear to have naturally separated from the body. There is no forensic evidence at this time to support anything other than disarticulation as there are no tool or trauma marks on the remains," Foster said.

Yeah, but we're just talking about FEET here. When someone gets stabbed to death it usually isn't in their foot.
posted by flipyourwig at 11:16 AM on December 6, 2008

My guess.... Mermaids.
posted by Dark Messiah at 11:17 AM on December 6, 2008 [4 favorites]

To add to the irony, 'Barefoot' is actually my last name.

Makes it apt, or darkly comedic, but not really ironic.
posted by piratebowling at 11:23 AM on December 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

So are you saying the mermaids can't figure out how to take the shoe off the foot to eat it, or that they don't think it's worth the effort.

You are saying that mermaids are eating people, yes? Maybe I shouldn't jump to conclusions.
posted by Caduceus at 11:28 AM on December 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

Makes it apt, or darkly comedic, but not really ironic.

If anyone's an expert on social instances involving a missing foot or two, I think it'd be a freakin' pirate. This man makes good points.
posted by Dark Messiah at 11:30 AM on December 6, 2008

Makes it apt, or darkly comedic, but not really ironic.

Oh, come on. It's clearly a black fly in his chardonnay.
posted by rokusan at 11:30 AM on December 6, 2008

So are you saying the mermaids can't figure out how to take the shoe off the foot to eat it, or that they don't think it's worth the effort.

You are saying that mermaids are eating people, yes? Maybe I shouldn't jump to conclusions.

Details are sketchy, but from what I understand, it was a song/dance routine that simply went awry.
posted by Dark Messiah at 11:32 AM on December 6, 2008

"He musta been in a real hurry to leave such nice shoes behind".

"Yeah, especially since his feet are still in 'em".

--From Man Eating Cow, a tick spin off.

(The cow eats the bad guys, but skips the leather because she isn't a cannibal.)
posted by poe at 11:34 AM on December 6, 2008

Okay, fair enough, but is it really dance when you're in the water? Would it be more of a song/synchronized swimming routine? Assuming we're still talking about the mermaids, of course.
posted by Caduceus at 11:35 AM on December 6, 2008

Mefi loves this story.
previously and also previously, the latter has links to the three posts before that. Warning: LOTS of foot puns in those threads.
posted by LobsterMitten at 11:36 AM on December 6, 2008

When I saw this headline on the news, I didn't bother to click on it, I just came straight to MetaFilter FootFilter for enlightenment.

But I think there's a bigger lesson in this for all of us: cement shoes actually work.
posted by grounded at 12:00 PM on December 6, 2008

It'd really be cool if they find a third one from the same woman.
posted by pracowity at 12:00 PM on December 6, 2008 [13 favorites]

*crosses 'wading in Fraser river' off vacation plans*
posted by Cranberry at 12:22 PM on December 6, 2008

Two down, four to go.
Actually the article you linked to says that another pair of male feet have also been matched.
posted by peacheater at 12:35 PM on December 6, 2008

The real horror is that all these people are dead and missing, but no one filed a missing persons report, or even know that they are missing. Like the Beatles song Elenor Rigby...
All the lonely people...where do they all come from?
posted by doctorschlock at 12:52 PM on December 6, 2008

Okay, fair enough, but is it really dance when you're in the water? Would it be more of a song/synchronized swimming routine? Assuming we're still talking about the mermaids, of course.

I don't have all the info, but basically, during a rehearsal for 'Under the Sea', things weren't going well. The comment "you have two left feet" was uttered, and responded to with "oh yeah, we'll see about that." Bets were made, feet were lost. A tragedy for all involved.
posted by Dark Messiah at 12:54 PM on December 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

I grew a foot when I was a teenager, but it isn't missing, I can promise y -- wait, WTF? My foot!
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 1:11 PM on December 6, 2008

The CBC article quotes an RCMP spokesman: "It's certainly a good step in our investigation," she said.

RCMP = Royal Canadian Masters of Puns
posted by grounded at 1:14 PM on December 6, 2008 [3 favorites]

I suspect Mr. Barefoot might have something to do with this.
posted by joelf at 2:25 PM on December 6, 2008

Again I must say; this gives me hope that one day I will find true love.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:28 PM on December 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

Mr. Barefoot is just looking for a pair of shoes that fit well. Pity he's never heard of a shoe store. On the other hand I can understand his dilemma, service at shoe stores is abysmal these days. The last time I had a salesperson know how to use a Brannock shoe measuring device was at REI. Prior to that I was a knee high to a grass hopper.
posted by substrate at 4:09 PM on December 6, 2008

Word to the Barefoot.
posted by bwg at 4:21 PM on December 6, 2008

Two Left Feet?
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:41 PM on December 6, 2008

Wait. Weren't all the feet lefts (or rights)? How...never mind, I probably don't want to know.
posted by DU at 4:50 PM on December 6, 2008

Has the ferry sinking been ruled out as the source? That one back a few years, captain and first mate were fucking instead of paying attention to where the ship was headed, sailed it right into the rocks, sank the ship and all the cars aboard it? I seem to recall a few people went missing from that.
posted by five fresh fish at 6:04 PM on December 6, 2008

doctorschlock: The real horror is that all these people are dead and missing, but no one filed a missing persons report, or even know that they are missing. Like the Beatles song Elenor Rigby...
All the lonely people...where do they all come from?

It could be that they're known to be dead. Either they died in accidents at sea that were known to be fatal so nobody was out looking for them (it's anyone's guess how far those body parts or bodies can float) or some funeral home was engaging in illegal dumping of bodies.
posted by Mitrovarr at 6:44 PM on December 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

20,000 Leagues Feet Under the Sea
sorry
posted by moonbird at 7:03 PM on December 6, 2008

FootFilter

Come the fuck on.

MetaFooter, obviously.

(Also, yes, tragedy etc etc, gallows humour etc etc.)
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 12:28 AM on December 7, 2008

. .
posted by stevil at 6:21 PM on December 20, 2008