Prescription Derringer.

December 8, 2008 5:49 PM

The single-shot Palm Pistol...The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has accepted a conceptual, ergonomic 9mm handgun — designed for people crippled by arthritis, muscular dystrophy, or similar conditions that render them too weak to operate normal handguns — as a Class 1 Medical Device.... doctors could eventually write prescriptions for it and then be reimbursed by Medicare.
posted by blaneyphoto (61 comments total)

Single shot DOUBLE action.
posted by gman at 5:53 PM on December 8, 2008

Is this an end-run around the assisted suicide issue?
posted by Countess Elena at 5:53 PM on December 8, 2008

For when the pain gets to be too much?
posted by Brian B. at 5:56 PM on December 8, 2008

Wait, what?
posted by Venadium at 5:59 PM on December 8, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

For the gun to be fired, two mechanical safeties must be depressed with the fingers on either side of the barrel before the trigger, located on the top and bottom of the gun, is pressed by the thumb. A three-digit combination lock is set opposite to the loading button to help prevent accidental discharge.

That all sounds pretty fiddly for someone with arthritis. It's really only a modern design of one of these. How about a minigun controlled by eye movements?
posted by raygirvan at 6:00 PM on December 8, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

That's it. I quit writing science fiction.
posted by RakDaddy at 6:00 PM on December 8, 2008

Ping me when I can get a doctor's note for a Barrett M95.

/gets back to BF:BC
posted by b1tr0t at 6:01 PM on December 8, 2008

LOLUSA!!!
posted by stinkycheese at 6:02 PM on December 8, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

How about a minigun controlled by eye movements?

Something like this?
posted by b1tr0t at 6:03 PM on December 8, 2008

The more (guns), the merrier!
posted by Balisong at 6:03 PM on December 8, 2008

Ah, America, you are so very special.
posted by Artw at 6:04 PM on December 8, 2008 [4 favorites has favorites]

Why does this remind me of the OSS Sledgley Glove Gun?
posted by Comrade_robot at 6:04 PM on December 8, 2008

It's probably not going to be used for drive-bys or massacres.
posted by Balisong at 6:05 PM on December 8, 2008

It could use a laser sight.
posted by exogenous at 6:06 PM on December 8, 2008

This is ridiculous. The correct solution to making handguns more accessible to the elderly is a The Clapper attachment.
posted by DU at 6:10 PM on December 8, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

I'd like a medicinal firearm. Chromed, please. This one would be kind of hard to hold in the sideways gansta grip, but maybe it will have an inhaler attachment.
posted by Burhanistan at 6:10 PM on December 8, 2008

Is it for shooting yourself in the head?
posted by Artw at 6:11 PM on December 8, 2008

The correct solution to making handguns more accessible to the elderly is a The Clapper attachment.

The Clapper is for the machine guns on the front lawn. Grandma needs her one handed Palm Pistol for close quarters while her other hand is pushing her oxygen/IV cart.
posted by Burhanistan at 6:13 PM on December 8, 2008

It could use a laser sight.


From the manufacturer's site:

Designed for LaserLyte Subcompact V2 laser sight

posted by Burhanistan at 6:16 PM on December 8, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

Y'know, I get the point behind it, and sort of applaud it.. in a way. I guess. But this jumped out at me:

"A single shot means it's clearly for self-defense," said Carmel. Depending on sales of the single-shot version, he says a multiple-shot version could be possible.

For target practice, one assumes. Maybe shootin' bottles off the fence. Nursing home drive-bys. Things.

Although the medicaid part of it sort of bothers me more than the assistive device portion of it. Next on the slate? Foot operated shotguns for double amputees, perhaps.
posted by Kyol at 6:17 PM on December 8, 2008

No they haven't...

WASHINGTON (AP) — It could have been the world's first prescription pistol. The single-bullet Palm Pistol set the Internet abuzz with speculation that Medicare might even pay for the elderly and disabled to pack heat.

But Monday the Food and Drug Administration said the Palm Pistol doesn't have a shot of being listed as a medical device, and revoked the registration issued to its inventor only last week.

"The FDA has determined the product is not a medical device," the agency said in a statement.
posted by bizwank at 6:21 PM on December 8, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

The fuckin' Clapper sucks. Used to turn my lamps on in the middle of the night when I coughed.
posted by gman at 6:22 PM on December 8, 2008

You Americans, bless your hearts, have got to be fucking kidding. I think you're kidding.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 6:31 PM on December 8, 2008

Best.Hoax.Ever.

not really
posted by b1tr0t at 6:31 PM on December 8, 2008

Vriess wheelchair pump-action shotgun?
posted by raygirvan at 6:31 PM on December 8, 2008

I'm holding out for the butt pistol...
posted by HuronBob at 6:35 PM on December 8, 2008

You Americans, bless your hearts, have got to be fucking kidding. I think you're kidding.

Just don't fuck with us or we'll sic our handicapped on you.
posted by Item at 6:37 PM on December 8, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Good publicity stunt, especially for a guy with nothing more than some 3D renderings of a product that doesn't actually exist.
posted by Kadin2048 at 6:42 PM on December 8, 2008

bizwank has it. The article says the FDA revoked the registration.
posted by Tehanu at 6:42 PM on December 8, 2008

Daaaamn, could this be the way to finally get the Right to accept the idea of universal healthcare?
posted by kcds at 6:42 PM on December 8, 2008

For serious lead deficiencies
posted by The Whelk at 6:42 PM on December 8, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

This would've been perfect for that old comedian in the bomb shelter on Jonathan Creek.
posted by Stylus Happenstance at 6:45 PM on December 8, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

"Okay grandpa, this one's your inhaler and this one's your pistol. I'm going to put them both here in the drawer next to your bed so you don't have to get up if you need them in the middle of the night."
posted by Grimp0teuthis at 6:45 PM on December 8, 2008 [6 favorites has favorites]

Guns for the blind. Tank wheelchair. Crutches that fire bullets.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:49 PM on December 8, 2008

Crotch gun?
posted by Comrade_robot at 6:55 PM on December 8, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

I can't figure out what's scarier...that there is a guy out there convinced that the feeble are desperately in need of their own handguns, or that there might actually be a market for this.

I had assumed that the story was going to tell me that this was meant for suicide, and was thinking "there isn't a better way? Really?" See how wrong I was.
posted by maxwelton at 6:56 PM on December 8, 2008

"Okay grandpa, this one's your inhaler and this one's your pistol. I'm going to put them both here in the drawer next to your bed so you don't have to get up if you need them in the middle of the night."

You forgot: "Granpa, thanks for signing the new will. We hope the day never arrives!"
posted by maxwelton at 6:58 PM on December 8, 2008

You know, for a
posted by Artw at 7:05 PM on December 8, 2008

Oh, great, another one of these.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 7:07 PM on December 8, 2008

Double Mounted Shotgun Bed
posted by Artw at 7:11 PM on December 8, 2008

It's a pity these British experimental mobility devices failed
trials.
posted by sebastienbailard at 7:17 PM on December 8, 2008

doctors could eventually write prescriptions for it and then be reimbursed by Medicare

No
posted by caddis at 7:18 PM on December 8, 2008

When did "nixes" and "accepted" become synonyms? Was it at the same time "random" became substitutable for "unlikely"?
posted by collywobbles at 7:29 PM on December 8, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

It's a pity these British experimental mobility devices failed

No one wants to accidentally create the Daleks. Stairs or no.
posted by The Whelk at 7:30 PM on December 8, 2008

The Clapper is for the machine guns on the front lawn.

That's a feedback loop waiting to happen.
posted by Bookhouse at 7:37 PM on December 8, 2008 [10 favorites has favorites]

Lemme get this straight - a guy, sent in a form to a federal agency, for a product, which doesn't exist.
But if it did exist, and it got approved by the FDA - which it had no chance of occurring - this device, of which there is only a conception in one guy's mind of, could have been prescribed to people by doctors - again, purely theoretical doctors (who were perhaps in no way interested in continuing to practice medicine) - and such a prescription, were this speculative prescription written for this theoretical device, could have, conceivably, been covered by Medicare, if such a category for weapons existed, so then, were the category to be created in the first place for the non-existent weapon, if it came into being, and were such coverage to go completely uncontested by myriad real forces who would object to such a thing if there was absolutely no one in the Medicare bureaucratic upper hierarchy with any common sense at all and if they didn't have, or completely ignored, their legal counsel?


Yeah, that's some big fuckin' news right there.

Hey, I've got my own space program. I could be the first man on Mars. The whole thing could be paid for out of the school lunch program and many poor children could starve if the Department of Labor okay's it after I get a letter of Marque from Queen Elizabeth II to be a space pirate, yarrgh!
posted by Smedleyman at 7:40 PM on December 8, 2008 [13 favorites has favorites]

How could you get the story completely backwards? Did you read any of the link you posted?

You apparently only read the caption to the picture, which you cut/pasted.

Next time a word like "nixes" confuses you look it up instead of just guessing.

Less embarrassing that way.
posted by Ynoxas at 7:59 PM on December 8, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Thread over, Smedleyman wins.
posted by knave at 8:01 PM on December 8, 2008

The disabled don't need handguns! They should just wait around for the police or friendly/courageous passersby to save them.
posted by R_Nebblesworth at 8:02 PM on December 8, 2008

Also, the content of the OP says the opposite of the headline of the OP.
posted by R_Nebblesworth at 8:03 PM on December 8, 2008

Also, many many people beat me to the punch.
posted by R_Nebblesworth at 8:05 PM on December 8, 2008

As a severely disabled person, naturally hell-bent on world domination, I feel honor-bound to warn you all that equipping us with accessible handguns is a Very Bad Idea.

Also, those health care robots you're developing? Prepare to welcome your new crippled programmer overlords.

(The self-link, it was too good to pass up.)
posted by Soliloquy at 8:47 PM on December 8, 2008

What the hell is wrong with a good old-fashioned sword cane?
posted by Ron Thanagar at 9:10 PM on December 8, 2008

To be fair to blaneyphoto, the linked article originally stated that the device was approved and would be covered by medicare, yadda yadda yadda. It's since been changed to reflect the content of the article I linked above; you can see some remnants of that via a msnbc search. So, he did read the news before he posted it, but he didn't check to see if it was still current.

(mostly directed at Ynoxas and R_Nebblesworth)
posted by bizwank at 10:18 PM on December 8, 2008

bizwank:

See the header of the article:

By Ricardo Alonso-Zaldivar

updated 3:43 p.m. CT, Mon., Dec. 8, 2008

It was updated 4 hours before he posted it.

He copy/pasted the caption, that's all.
posted by Ynoxas at 11:09 PM on December 8, 2008

Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a 'Oh, come on, this is just complete bollocks' option when flagging.
posted by jack_mo at 2:40 AM on December 9, 2008

or that there might actually be a market for this

Come on, how else are the elderly supposed to defend themselves against the robots?
posted by Pollomacho at 5:07 AM on December 9, 2008

Thinking about this thing from a tactical point of view, it's not a very useful device. You can only use it for one shot at basically point blank range. If it isn't a kill shot, you won't have time to reload. Another problem is that, unlike a gun, it would be difficult to use this as a deterrent. If an arthritic senior citizen pulls out what looks like a regulator valve from an oxygen tank, a thief may not know or believe that it's a weapon and may get shot needlessly whereas just flashing a regular pistol can be enough to scare someone off.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:55 AM on December 9, 2008

And, it probably will be most effective when used as a stealthy offensive weapon, encouraging nursing home hitmen.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:56 AM on December 9, 2008

Seems like suicide is the best use for it, if it's ever made. And don't knock guns for suicide -- suicides using guns are successful 90+ percent of the time, which is quite good compared to pills and such. That's how my Aunt Lily ended her life after her husband left her for a younger woman, but she used the shotgun-in-the-mouth concept, and left her brains frozen all over the sidewalk outside her home (she didn't wanna make a mess inside), which was likely a bit unpleasant for my brother to discover when he arrived to check on her.
posted by jamstigator at 8:22 AM on December 9, 2008

Wow. That's a really stupid idea. Not the idea of providing self defense for elderly and infirm, that is a fine and noble concept. But this? This is lame.

A single shot with no good aiming mechanism? Pointless.

If you are going to go that route, I would much rather see a modified version of something like this made easier to fire. Multiple shots, effective, and less than lethal.

Oh, and non-conceptual. This one actually exists.

If they are trying to make an non-assisted suicide device, I'd prefer they didn't involve firearms. Something a little more peaceful for the user and less messy for the finder would make it easier for everyone involved.
posted by quin at 1:58 PM on December 9, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]