Comments on: How to Toilet Train Your Cat

How to Toilet Train Your Cat

thbt — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 08:50:58 -0800

Don't like scooping cat litter? Toilet train your cat.

By: bjork24

bjork24 — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 08:58:16 -0800

Don't like faxing all those documents? Try electronic mail.

By: The White Hat

The White Hat — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 08:59:08 -0800

Or allow Charles Mingus to do it for you.

By: Chan

Chan — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:00:13 -0800

Miki pees in the human toilet. Want to see her do #2? Click here. I'm not too sure what can be said about a website that has that sentence under a video...Other than "there are some sick people out there."

By: theroadahead

theroadahead — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:02:58 -0800

The Mingus Method mentioned previously.

By: yhbc

yhbc — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:05:47 -0800

I love my cats. Not enough to share my toilet with them, though.

By: tula

tula — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:09:20 -0800

Please don't do this if you live in California, or anywhere near a coastline. Cat poop in the sewer system winds up killing sea otters.

By: vbfg

vbfg — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:09:59 -0800

A slightly over weight cat that is head first down the toilet and unable to reverse out is a sight somewhere between amusing and distressing when you come home from work on an evening. I imagine this will lead people to similar discoveries of their own.

By: baphomet

baphomet — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:11:27 -0800

Cats are good for two things: 1) You can eat them. 2) You can throw them off tall buildings. Teaching them to use the toilet is a waste of time and effort.

By: gman

gman — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:15:50 -0800

FOCKER, I'm not gonna tell you again. Jinx cannot flush the toilet. He's a cat for Christ sakes!

By: moonmilk

moonmilk — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:17:11 -0800

A friend told me about training his cat to do this, using the following method: first you spend a week or two getting the cat to poop with one foot on the rim of the litterbox. When the cat will do this consistently, you move on to two feet, and then three, and... ...and that's where he lost interest in the training program. To this day, his cat poops with three feet perched on the rim of the litterbox.

By: A Terrible Llama

A Terrible Llama — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:29:35 -0800

This is the sort of thing cats tell other cats about when they want to sit around and have a good laugh.

By: quin

quin — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:30:51 -0800

I've thought about training any one of our four cats to do this, simply to cut down on the number of litter-boxes we have to deal with. One reason I really believe I've been reticent to put any effort into this, is my fear that I'll come home, really having to use the bathroom, only to find myself having to wait because kitty is busy balancing on the seat and staring off into space while she does her business. I think that would officially become a low point in my life.

By: spamguy

spamguy — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:31:12 -0800

It's not so much the scooping, it's the kitty litter particles that coat my apartment floor. You'd think it had hailed recently in my living room.

By: Meatbomb

Meatbomb — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:34:20 -0800

This is like clockwork. La Petomane should be due in about 2 1/2 weeks now.

By: Large Marge

Large Marge — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:38:31 -0800

An old roommate wanted to do this for a long time, but ultimately his fear of poisoning otters overruled. He always justified it as not being crazy because "Charles Mingus did it!" As if that were a good reason.

By: Joe Beese

Joe Beese — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:38:54 -0800

Or allow Charels Mingus to do it for you. Link ends: "Good luck. Charles Mingus." I think that says it all.

By: DU

DU — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:39:51 -0800

We actually bought a cat toilet-training kit once, over 10 years ago, because we hate scooping. But we never used it because we hate looking like idiots even more and nothing will make you look like a bigger idiot than trying to toilet train a cat (even if it works).

By: Joe Beese

Joe Beese — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:41:25 -0800

Also: the set of things Charles Mingus did and the set of crazy things are not mutually exclusive sets.

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:44:56 -0800

People keep animals indoors?

By: LordSludge

LordSludge — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:48:07 -0800

People keep animals indoors? Yes, because we're lonely.

By: HuronBob

HuronBob — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:52:24 -0800

baphomat : "Cats are good for two things: 1) You can eat them. 2) You can throw them off tall buildings. Teaching them to use the toilet is a waste of time and effort." funny, my cats said exactly the same thing about you.....

By: IAmBroom

IAmBroom — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:57:07 -0800

Naah, baphomat is not good eating. His momma, on the other hand...

By: gman

gman — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:58:34 -0800

baphomat is more than one person?

By: filthy light thief

filthy light thief — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:59:52 -0800

tula, thanks for the warning. I was so excited to see this (having 3 cats and having already found the mechanical methods less than functional). I started reading your link, and at first I hoped it was only the cat litter that made things dangerous, to which I would say "Ha! That's why cats poop in the toilet!" Then I read that the poop itself is the (possible) culprit! Damn you, cat poop! Will I never be rid of you? (Don't mention getting rid of the cats - my wife might punch you.)

By: filthy light thief

filthy light thief — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:02:43 -0800

HuronBob, you understand catspeak? What does this mean: "Mrow mrow mrooooow ... mrow!" (followed by racing back and forth in the hall). I think I was challenged to a race, and I fear my cats no longer respect me for declining the race. Or was it just a complaint about how short the hallway is, as it is insufficient to reach maximum insanity?

By: nickyskye

nickyskye — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:06:33 -0800

The "Poo Whisperer". Love that. Enjoyed the cat's expressions. Cool post.

By: grouse

grouse — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:10:05 -0800

toilettrainedcat.com is one of the strangest sites I've seen in some time. I have no idea how these people got their cats wedged into their toilets, or why.

By: wretched_rhapsody

wretched_rhapsody — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:14:50 -0800

My mother decided to try this once when I was a kid. She found a book at the library that described a very similar method, made a photocopy and, as with most other of her brilliant ideas, made us kids actually do the work of implementing it. Even though our cat was progressing splendidly, the entire family unanimously gave up the experiment on stage 2 (having a pan with litter under the toilet seat) because we would routinely forget to take the pan out when using the bathroom ourselves in the middle of the night/early morning. If you think scooping up after your kitty is bad, try scooping up after yourself. EPIC FAIL.

By: wretched_rhapsody

wretched_rhapsody — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:16:37 -0800

(I should have waited till after I finished my lunch to share that story...)

By: autodidact

autodidact — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:18:43 -0800

^ do you back up to the toilet?

By: jmccw

jmccw — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:22:22 -0800

i have nipples, greg. can you milk me?

By: Relay

Relay — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:23:48 -0800

I had a friend that tried this ... but somehow along the way, either he didn't teach the cat correctly, or the cat didn't learn correctly, and the net byproduct was that he turned his whole bathroom into a giant letterbox. It was like using a toilet sitting on a beach.

By: sebastienbailard

sebastienbailard — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:25:40 -0800

Apparently, the Canadian Lynx has toilet training ... quirks; they like to poop off of things. I remember being particulary astounded when I found out that mine had been (somehow) getting up on the shelf in the closet and pooping down on my clothes which were hanging where they should be. Anything that didn't stick to the shoulders of my clothes, ended up in my shoes. (Nice shootin' Banshee!)

By: Relay

Relay — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:26:23 -0800

er, LITTERbox [damn you spellchecker!!!]

By: jabberjaw

jabberjaw — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:26:36 -0800

First cats using toilets. Then dogs. Then bobcats, for cryin' out loud. What's next, bears? Cows? I'm pretty sure this is how the apes conquer our planet. So let me be the first to say: damn you. Damn you all to heck.

By: HuronBob

HuronBob — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:27:46 -0800

"Or was it just a complaint about how short the hallway is, as it is insufficient to reach maximum insanity?" You should be aware that a cat can reach maximum insanity while duct taped into a shoe box with no possibilty of movement. I'm afraid that your cats speak a dialect I haven't learned yet, but as close as I could tell, they too were making a comment about baphomat.

By: jabberjaw

jabberjaw — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:27:59 -0800

Forgot about the cheetah.

By: scarello

scarello — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:28:20 -0800

So, what happens when the cat needs the toilet and it's occupied?

By: neblina_matinal

neblina_matinal — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:28:23 -0800

This is such old news wretched_rhapsody's mother had it on a photocopy.

By: Relay

Relay — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:32:57 -0800

I just sent this thread to a friend who responded: "if I wanted to toilet train something I'd adopt a child."

By: raygirvan

raygirvan — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:34:44 -0800

Googling finds the same concept marketed as a crappy affiliate-scheme e-book. I wonder which one came first?

By: Flunkie

Flunkie — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:38:05 -0800

I tried this once, years ago. Everything was proceeding well, until once when my cat fell into the water. Over the next few days, he successfully convinced me of the merits of his opinion that we should go back to a litter box, via his subtle strategy of "crap on the floor".

By: Slack-a-gogo

Slack-a-gogo — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:46:13 -0800

Last thing I need when I have to go to the bathroom is to wait for my cat to finish a compelling expose in Cat Fancy before getting off the crapper.

By: Epenthesis

Epenthesis — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:58:00 -0800

I think that would officially become a low point in my life. To be quickly trumped by the moment an unsuspecting houseguest or forgetful/drunken resident leaves the lid closed.

By: vibrotronica

vibrotronica — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 11:08:09 -0800

I had an old girlfriend who tried to do this. We don't speak any more.

By: peep

peep — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 11:09:34 -0800

One day when I was about nine, I stayed home sick from school. I was alone in the house, sleeping in my mom & dad's comfy bed. I woke to the distinct sound of someone pissing into a toilet in the master bathroom. I was instantly paralyzed with fear, and for the next few seconds, my mind raced to explain: Maybe the toilet is running. No, that's definitely peeing. Maybe my mom or dad came home. No, they would have woken me up, or used the other bathroom. Maybe it's a pervert who broke in and is peeing in our bathroom. Hmm, maybe. My curiosity won out, and terrified, I burst into the bathroom to find our 12 year old cat crouched on the toilet seat, pissing into the toilet. She looked briefly perturbed, but finished, jumped down, and left the bathroom. No one had ever seen her do it before, and we never saw her do it again.

By: grubi

grubi — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 11:11:38 -0800

So, what happens when the cat needs the toilet and it's occupied? Same thing they do when the litterbox is occupied: wait their turn. (NOTE: I live with 3 cats and two litter boxes. These cats will wait their turn. They're quite polite in that regard.)

By: orange swan

orange swan — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 11:13:05 -0800

he turned his whole bathroom into a giant letterbox The upside of this is that he would have plenty of reading material for his sitting time. The downside is that his mailman would have have run screaming to his union.

By: GalaxieFiveHundred

GalaxieFiveHundred — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 11:13:51 -0800

I'm so glad the response to this post is derision and mockery. My crazy girlfriend had almost convinced me that what she is doing is not b(c?)at shit insane. On preview: vibrotronica, that doesn't make me feel better!

By: Hairy Lobster

Hairy Lobster — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 11:14:13 -0800

So, what happens when the cat needs the toilet and it's occupied? [...]the moment an unsuspecting houseguest or forgetful/drunken resident leaves the lid closed. The solution is obvious: the addition of separate cat-only bathroom(s) to ones home.

By: iamkimiam

iamkimiam — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 11:15:29 -0800

I actually started retraining my cats to do this a few weeks ago when I moved. The first time was successful for one cat, but the other was a kitten and her balance wasn't so good. It's working well so far, but you really don't need to buy an expensive contraption — a tin-foil turkey pan under the girl seat works just fine.

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 11:46:21 -0800

a tin-foil turkey pan under the girl seat works just fine I've been crapping through the girl seat for 26 years and no one told me?!?

By: Green Eyed Monster

Green Eyed Monster — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 11:50:54 -0800

My cat likes to drink out of the toilet (the cat ain't right--I think he might be part retriever) , so I'm not sure this would be a good idea. And as far as chores go, cleaning the litter isn't my least favorite. Now, if I could train the cat to iron...

By: Elmore

Elmore — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 11:55:25 -0800

That's nothing, I've trained my dog to shit in the neighbour's garden.

By: Forktine

Forktine — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 11:56:39 -0800

That cheetah video cracked me up. And I can totally see a cat learning to use the toilet, and then graduating to the sunroof on your car, the roof vents on your plumbing vent stacks, and the kitchen sinks.

By: o2b

o2b — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 12:18:39 -0800

I would love for my cats to do this. However, my toilet will not take an automatic flusher, and I have a problem with the idea of coming home at the end of the day to a toilet full of cat crap. Imagine what it would look like after coming home from a weekend away.

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 12:19:21 -0800

That's how I was toilet trained. ...wait a minute...I'm a cat!?

By: orange swan

orange swan — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 12:21:01 -0800

A former roommate's cat learned to flush the toilet. He especially liked to do it while my roommate was in the shower.

By: parilous

parilous — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 12:21:51 -0800

I'd rather teach my cat to fetch. (He likes it, really!)

By: caution live frogs

caution live frogs — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 12:22:12 -0800

We taught our cats to sit on command. So long as you feed them right after they sit, it works pretty well. But toilet training? No. We just have litterboxes for them. Works for me, works for them. I do try to scoop the litter into biodegradable bags, though (the sort used for composting). This keeps the litter in a plastic-y bag long enough to get it to the landfill without filling the landfill with biodegradable litter inside of a non-biodegradable bag.

By: dead cousin ted

dead cousin ted — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 12:38:58 -0800

I used to have a cat that shit in the bathtub but I don't think that's really the same thing.

By: Killick

Killick — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 12:54:53 -0800

This is the stage that's usually the trickiest for most cats — introducing kitty to the water in the toilet bowl. Ok, my cat has this part all figured out.

By: hooray

hooray — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 13:09:38 -0800

My friend tried this with his three cats and a spare bathroom. Initially, it worked so well that he had to install an automatic toilet flusher. Unfortunately, one of the cats fell into the toilet and was so pissed off (heh) that she decided everything could be a toilet. This included all of their plants, the kitchen sink and the middle of their bed. It took him about six months (and two comforters) to finally give up.

By: CynicalKnight

CynicalKnight — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 13:10:28 -0800

Jinx cannot flush the toilet Yes We Can.

By: I Foody

I Foody — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 13:57:16 -0800

The link no say many times I beat pet for good results. 12 time?

By: JackFlash

JackFlash — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 14:02:39 -0800

Please don't do this if you live in California, or anywhere near a coastline. Cat poop in the sewer system winds up killing sea otters. I've seen no scientific evidence that this is true. Sounds a bit like urban myth to me. All the research points to untreated surface runoff from feral and other outdoor cats.

By: MegoSteve

MegoSteve — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 14:11:11 -0800

If you really want to impress me, you have to teach your cat to read on the toilet.

By: turgid dahlia

turgid dahlia — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 14:55:57 -0800

People keep animals indoors? You live indoors, don't you?

By: turgid dahlia

turgid dahlia — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 15:02:10 -0800

If you think scooping up after your kitty is bad, try scooping up after yourself. I just don't like this idea because I'm not comfortable with the idea of having urine-swollen kitty litter stuck to my testicles.

By: kosem

kosem — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 15:14:38 -0800

Imagine how I feel.

By: ericb

ericb — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 15:23:23 -0800

People keep animals indoors? Especially if you live in a city center.

By: ericb

ericb — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 15:26:19 -0800

Urban cats: characteristics and estimation of mortality due to motor vehicles.

By: Space Kitty

Space Kitty — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 15:32:49 -0800

Derail, but I have to tell someone. IT WORKS!!! SWEET JEEBUS IT ACTUALLY WORKS!!!! That is all.

By: Bageena

Bageena — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 15:39:12 -0800

baphomet is right though - cat meat is absolutely delicious. Gato tacos baby. Delish! Now, if someone can teach my 3 Yorkies to use the toilet, I'm pretty sure I could win Youtube with the video of that.

By: BitterOldPunk

BitterOldPunk — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 16:14:56 -0800

Or you could just let them outside. Right, otters. I'm nowhere near an otter. Fuck 'em. Right, birds. Well, they only catch the slow, dumb ones. Fuck 'em. THEN THEY PICK MY TOMATO PATCH AND THIS MEANS WAR. It is much more difficult to dissuade a cat from going somewhere it likes than it is to encourage a cat to go somewhere it dislikes. YCMV. OH GOD THE TOMATOES OH MY SWEET JESUS THE FUCKING TOMATOES

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 16:51:44 -0800

Sure. If he takes too long in the bathroom, can I use his litterbox?

By: sugarfish

sugarfish — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 16:57:09 -0800

When my dad was a kid, his family kept finding poop in the toilet. Being the youngest, he was blamed for not flushing even though he insisted on his innocence. It wasn't until someone opened the door on the cat crapping on the toilet that he was acquitted.

By: DecemberBoy

DecemberBoy — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 17:42:49 -0800

Or allow Charles Mingus to do it for you. All cats can man the throne. Ain't no thing... but a chicken's wing.

By: jason's_planet

jason's_planet — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 17:51:32 -0800

First off, though, here's a little entertainment to prove that I'm not some totally nutty cat lover (at least, I don't think I am, although I do love kitties!). Just witness the pooping peeing bundle of furry joy that is my cat...

By: tula

tula — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 17:59:07 -0800

Please don't do this if you live in California, or anywhere near a coastline. Cat poop in the sewer system winds up killing sea otters. I've seen no scientific evidence that this is true. Sounds a bit like urban myth to me. All the research points to untreated surface runoff from feral and other outdoor cats. The State of California and requests that people don't flush their cat litter.

By: aeschenkarnos

aeschenkarnos — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 18:03:21 -0800

Cat poop in the sewer system winds up killing sea otters. Considering the ratio of human poo to cat poo in the sewer system, and the variety of human diets as compared to cat diets, I think we are to blame.

By: damn dirty ape

damn dirty ape — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 19:12:50 -0800

Dude, if youre crapping out Toxoplasma gondii then you need to talk to a doctor, not spend your time on the web speculating about the similiaries between human and cat poop and spreading poop-based conspiracy theories.

By: dansdata

dansdata — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 19:21:53 -0800

We got one of those training-kit things with the plastic tray that fits into the top of the toilet, and concentric sections inside that you remove from the inside out so the hole gets bigger and bigger and eventually the cat's using the toilet with no help at all. Stage 1 is to put the tray on the floor as a normal litter tray. Stage 2 is to move it to the toilet. Both of the cats we had at the time considered Stage 2 to be harder to figure out than a Rubik's Cube. They started pooing in corners, in the bath... not so much as a footprint in the toilet-tray. And there the experiment ended.

By: ericb

ericb — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 21:59:18 -0800

Both of the cats we had at the time considered Stage 2 to be harder to figure out than a Rubik's Cube. So, which of your cats was able to solve a Rubik's Cube faster than the other?

By: PeterMcDermott

PeterMcDermott — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 01:01:57 -0800

My cat has no problem using the toilet, but man, it was almost impossible to train it to use the toilet paper to wipe its arse.

By: Jilder

Jilder — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 07:37:59 -0800

damn dirty ape: It's estimated that a third of humans have toxoplasmosis. It makes men emotional and paranoid, and makes women outgoing, self-confident and trusting. There's been speculation that these traits make the spread of the parasite more efficient.