Grace Jones in chocolate
December 10, 2008 11:15 AM   Subscribe

Grace Jones in chocolate. That isn’t a clever illustration of an assembly line of Grace Jones heads on the cover of her new album, Hurricane. Those are real chocolate Grace Jones heads made from 16 moulds of her head and body.
posted by joeclark (93 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

 
Awesome.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:23 AM on December 10, 2008


This video is just spooky. Maybe audio would help give it context, but I really doubt it. Now I want to know, what about her limbs? And is she delicious?
posted by filthy light thief at 11:25 AM on December 10, 2008


That confirms it. She's molten!

(previously)
posted by hermitosis at 11:28 AM on December 10, 2008


Oh, Strangé! :golf clap:
posted by cashman at 11:32 AM on December 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Where can I buy a chocolate Grace Jones?!?
posted by noriyori at 11:34 AM on December 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


I can't believe they blew the chance to use Warm Leatherette in a car commercial!
posted by smartyboots at 11:38 AM on December 10, 2008


Should I be frightened or turned on? I'm never really sure with Grace Jones.
posted by Pollomacho at 11:45 AM on December 10, 2008 [4 favorites]


Should I be frightened or turned on?

Yes.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:47 AM on December 10, 2008 [13 favorites]


My only awareness of Grace Jones previous to this was her role in Conan the Destroyer.

So, yeah, OK, this fits.
posted by gurple at 11:48 AM on December 10, 2008


As a child something about Grace Jones, and particularly Pull up to the Bumper, terrified me. I'm still unsettled by her, and chocolate busts, no matter how well crafted, only add to my unease.
posted by Elmore at 11:48 AM on December 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Springfield Mayor “Diamond Joe” Quimby: “We’re all scared and horny.”

Pace Pollomacho, this sums up Grace Jones nicely.
posted by joeclark at 11:56 AM on December 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


This satisfies my lifelong dream of making the biggest, gayest, creepiest S'mores EVER. Oh -- and Easter baskets too!!!

Seriously, I am delighted to an extent that's almost worrisome.
posted by hermitosis at 11:59 AM on December 10, 2008 [7 favorites]


smartyboots, do you know the lyrics, or the intent, behind Warm Leatherette? It's a story about car-crash sexual fetishism. The lyrics are as follow:

See the breaking glass
In the underpass
See the breaking glass
In the underpass
Warm leatherette

Hear the crushing steel
Feel the steering wheel
Hear the crushing steel
Feel the steering wheel

Warm leatherette

Warm leatherette

Warm leatherette
Melts on your burning flesh
You can see your reflection
In the luminescent dash

Warm leatherette

A tear of petrol
Is in your eye
The hand brake
Penetrates your thigh
Quick - Let's make love
Before you die

On warm leatherette
Warm leatherette

Warm leatherette
Warm leatherette
Warm leatherette

Join the car crash set

Maybe some edgy German company would use it, or a weird Japanese company who might not pay attention to the lyrics, but it's not a terribly positive mental image to link with car sales. Daniel Miller is an interesting person (though the title of "Godfather of Technopop" isn't a title I'd give him).
posted by filthy light thief at 12:03 PM on December 10, 2008


This will eventually lead to some really uncomfortable conversations; like when a guest comes over and finds a half eaten Grace Jones head in your refrigerator.

Speaking of, how exactly do you enjoy eating something like this? Do you just kinda kick back on the sofa, grab it under the chin and just take a big bite out of the forehead? Or do you use a tool like a hammer to crack off a couple of chunks? And how weird would that feel; bashing in the life sized head of someone you admire just so you can eat their chocolaty brains?

I'm gonna go ahead and just call the whole thing "Deliciously Awkward."

Still, "awesome" is right.
posted by quin at 12:04 PM on December 10, 2008 [4 favorites]


smartyboots, do you know the lyrics, or the intent, behind Warm Leatherette?

Sounds perfect for an ad highlighting a car's safty features to me.
posted by Pollomacho at 12:09 PM on December 10, 2008


Dessert for cannibals...
posted by Alexandra Kitty at 12:10 PM on December 10, 2008


So who's the white chocolate version? Arnold Schwarzenegger or Michael Jackson?
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:10 PM on December 10, 2008


My reaction to this is generally that of Beavis and Butthead when a Grace Jones video came on.

"Ugh."
"Heh heh, yeah, what the hell is that?"
posted by resurrexit at 12:10 PM on December 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Obama's milk chocolate, for sure.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:11 PM on December 10, 2008


And is she delicious?
Oh, yes.
posted by WolfDaddy at 12:11 PM on December 10, 2008 [3 favorites]


So who's the white chocolate version?

Obama?
posted by gman at 12:11 PM on December 10, 2008


The phrase "Grace Jones Hurricane" was already alarming enough. This is just over the top.
posted by DU at 12:12 PM on December 10, 2008


Dear President-Elect,

Are you interested in having your image saved for posterity and diabetes?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:13 PM on December 10, 2008 [3 favorites]


Oh boy, chocolate! That's where I'm an Amazonian warrior.
posted by mandal at 12:13 PM on December 10, 2008 [3 favorites]


I have one of those in my fridge.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:19 PM on December 10, 2008


Speaking of, how exactly do you enjoy eating something like this? Do you just kinda kick back on the sofa, grab it under the chin and just take a big bite out of the forehead? Or do you use a tool like a hammer to crack off a couple of chunks? And how weird would that feel; bashing in the life sized head of someone you admire just so you can eat their chocolaty brains?

I hear you can make the womenz just melt if you lick them the right way.
posted by juv3nal at 12:20 PM on December 10, 2008 [3 favorites]


The idea of cracking open a realistic chocolate head and eating out the insides makes me think of the cover of Roots Manuva's new album (also available with bright pink goo).
posted by filthy light thief at 12:21 PM on December 10, 2008


Louche.
posted by boo_radley at 12:22 PM on December 10, 2008


My only awareness of Grace Jones previous to this was her role in Conan the Destroyer.

Well, she was pretty much the only good thing about that movie.
posted by Artw at 12:22 PM on December 10, 2008


Grace Jones has one of each of of us in her fridge.
posted by emelenjr at 12:24 PM on December 10, 2008 [4 favorites]


Not to disrespect, but when composed of chocolate, she looks kind of like the guy from Gladiator.
posted by thebellafonte at 12:25 PM on December 10, 2008


I loves me some Grace Jones.
posted by Thorzdad at 12:28 PM on December 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


Filthy light thief , nobody is paying attention anymore. Phillips used to use the Beatles "Getting Better" in commercials, cutting right before the "it can't get much worse" line.

still, Grace Jones is the scary cool. emphasis on the scary. Years ago I saw her on David Letterman, where she tried some wigs on.
Amazingly, with hair, Grace Jones is a beautiful woman.
posted by djrock3k at 12:33 PM on December 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


I hear you can make the womenz just melt if you lick them the right way.
posted by juv3nal


this username has so much potential for eponystericality that it's almost unfair.
posted by snofoam at 12:39 PM on December 10, 2008


Daniel Miller is an interesting person (though the title of "Godfather of Technopop" isn't a title I'd give him).

Though it's a stupid moniker, it sort of fits him, what with his early work with Fad Gadget & Depeche Mode and his recordings as the Normal & the Silicon Teens. Oh, and the guy founded Mute records. I guess if a lazy rock journalist just had to call someone the godfathers of technopop, Suicide would probably top the list, but Miller comes in close. In any case, I love the guy's work.

On topic, Grace Jones' new record is better than it should be, but that's not really saying much.
posted by item at 12:39 PM on December 10, 2008


Amazingly, with hair, Grace Jones is a beautiful woman.

Amazingly? Harumph. You know that she's a supermodel, right? Americans may not be as keen on her style, but step across the Atlantic and things are a different story.
posted by hermitosis at 12:40 PM on December 10, 2008 [5 favorites]


For anyone who wants to run a scammy website, I see that gracejoneschocolate.com is available.
posted by crapmatic at 12:53 PM on December 10, 2008


just take a big bite out of the forehead?

Hers? Or mine?
posted by CynicalKnight at 1:06 PM on December 10, 2008


nobody is paying attention anymore. Phillips used to use the Beatles "Getting Better" in commercials, cutting right before the "it can't get much worse" line.

Wrangler used lines from "Fortunate Son" in their all-American jeans ads. But only the ones that went "Some folks were born made to wave the flag / Ooh, they're red, white and blue."

Mentioned nothin' about pointing the cannon at you when the band plays Hail To The Chief, the silver spoons in hand, or anything else.

Then there was Target, which used DEVO's "Beautiful World" in their ads a few years back, depicting beautiful people everywhere. They may have even used the line "For you - It's not for me" as well.

T'ain't no such thing as irony in the ad biz.
posted by Spatch at 1:07 PM on December 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


A chocolate Grace Jones is best when accompanied by a chocolate Sly and Robbie...
posted by chrisgregory at 1:14 PM on December 10, 2008


I'm not sure how I feel about chocolate that looks likely to bite back.

What the hell am I talking about, of course I'm sure. Buty me in chocolate Grace Jones heads -- this is a good way to die.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:17 PM on December 10, 2008


I always thought the DEVO-Target connection was done with a half-wink. All those too-tight smiles, primary colors, the logo on every.single. surface. Just so ...on the nose to be done completely sincerely It fits in a lot of what DEVO has always said, "This is what you look like, to us."

They also allowed Swiffer to use "Whip it" as "swif it" because "it was just the stupidest thing we could think of."
posted by The Whelk at 1:18 PM on December 10, 2008


Wow, that last photo is choc full of power. . . like a cacao homage to Kunta Kinte; very jarring in the meta narrative of slavery, human trafficking and the sin of using people as objects.
posted by isopraxis at 1:25 PM on December 10, 2008


So who's the white chocolate version? Arnold Schwarzenegger or Michael Jackson?

Dolph Lundgren, natch.
posted by oneirodynia at 1:29 PM on December 10, 2008


Of all the things I might have expected MeFi to rally behind, Grace Jones is probably the last I'd imagine.

MeFi, I love you. Be mine.

Also, can we get Grace Jones a membership?
posted by lekvar at 1:32 PM on December 10, 2008


still, Grace Jones is the scary cool. emphasis on the scary. Years ago I saw her on David Letterman, where she tried some wigs on.

i utterly completely and totally idolized this woman, partially because she was cool, partially because she was scary as hell at the same time she was cool as hell. she was THE shit. and then i watched her on letterman or leno or carson or one of those shows that i rearranged my schedule to see because OMG GRACE JONES IS GOING TO BE ON!

the woman opened her mouth and sounded like the single biggest ditz in the world. she was all laugh-y and airheaded and just plain annoying. talk about getting one's bubble burst. so yeah. she made some great music and all, but i canceled my membership in the fan club.
posted by msconduct at 1:51 PM on December 10, 2008


This post reminded me of the Adam Ant/Grace Jones Honda Scooter ad. I never did get that Elite I always wanted.
posted by MegoSteve at 1:57 PM on December 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


i canceled my membership in the fan club.

Never meet your heroes.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:06 PM on December 10, 2008


Never eat your heroes.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:22 PM on December 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


In France, there are several chocolate- and chestnut-based pastries with names that would raise eyebrows if they were translated in English: the tête-de-nègre (also a liquorice treat), the nègre-en-chemise, the negrillon etc. Grace Jones is well acquainted with French culture (which accepted the above until recently), and some of her own images (NSFW) have been controversial, so seeing her playing with chocolate versions of herself isn't surprising.
posted by elgilito at 2:36 PM on December 10, 2008


You know who else likes Grace Jones? (start at 3:05)
posted by neroli at 2:38 PM on December 10, 2008


Not the parts of her that I'd like to have cast in chocolate.
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:38 PM on December 10, 2008


The only thing I know about Grace Jones is her really, really bad cover (I'd say Shatneresque) of Astor Piazzolla's Libertango, one of the greatest compositions of all time.
posted by BrianBoyko at 2:40 PM on December 10, 2008


They also allowed Swiffer to use "Whip it" as "swif it" because "it was just the stupidest thing we could think of."

They not only allowed it, they rerecorded it.
posted by saul wright at 2:40 PM on December 10, 2008


Oh, MegoSteve, we used to have a black Elite. It looked like what K.I.T. would have looked like as a scooter. But I always imagined Grace Jones biting my earlobe before hopping on it.
posted by sadiehawkinstein at 2:42 PM on December 10, 2008


Never melt your heroes.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:43 PM on December 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


So why didn't Paul Reubens and Grace Jones ever have a lovechild? Perhaps they did, and ate it soon after birth.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:43 PM on December 10, 2008


Never melt your heroes.

But you can melt your gyros.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:45 PM on December 10, 2008


For reasons I'm not quite able to articulate, her version of La Vie En Rose is my favorite.
posted by smartyboots at 2:46 PM on December 10, 2008


Never bite, chew, swallow, digest and excrete your heroes. Not without mustard and vinegar.
posted by The Whelk at 2:58 PM on December 10, 2008


Wow, she still looks good. Guess black don't crack eh? Grace Jones has had a weird effect on me since she mounted 007 in A View to a Kill. Hubba hubba, but also I'm scared.
posted by autodidact at 3:03 PM on December 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


crapmatic writes "For anyone who wants to run a scammy website, I see that gracejoneschocolate.com is available."

She'll bite your head off.
posted by krinklyfig at 3:04 PM on December 10, 2008


She wouldn't have been my first choice for "Bond girl to portray in chocolate". But whatever.

Also: she was not the only good thing in "Conan the Destroyer". There was also Olivia D'Abo's cleavage.
posted by Joe Beese at 3:27 PM on December 10, 2008


I hear Christopher Walken keeps one of these in his freezer.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:27 PM on December 10, 2008


“You know that she's a supermodel, right?”

On this side of the Atlantic, last most of us saw of her she was hissing at people wielding a big pointy toothpick and overheadlifting people.
And she dated Dolph Lundgren. Ugh.

(Well, he was a Kyokushin fighter, no Miyuki Miura (who’s got a dojo out here in Oak Park), but still, something going for him)
posted by Smedleyman at 3:43 PM on December 10, 2008


Wow, she still looks good.

This is the first thing I thought when I saw that first photo. Grace Jones does not age; she simply upgrades.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 3:46 PM on December 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


And she dated Dolph Lundgren. Ugh.

Dolph never gets any love, but the man won a Fulbright scholarship to MIT and has a master's in chemical engineering. It's not like he's an airhead or something like Jean-Claude Van Damme, whose one redeeming quality was endorsing Obama.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 3:50 PM on December 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


This reminded me a little of the Meiji chocolate David Beckham. Though, I think they only made one of those, and someone stole it, I was told.
posted by bugmuncher at 3:52 PM on December 10, 2008


Grace Jones on her "19th" Brithday.
posted by Chuckles at 4:05 PM on December 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Then there was Target, which used DEVO's "Beautiful World" in their ads a few years back, depicting beautiful people everywhere. They may have even used the line "For you - It's not for me" as well.

As I've explained about a million times (never on Metafilter, though, just saying), the Target ads were done by Mutato Muzika, which is Mark Mothersbaugh's advertising and film score company. At least one of the Bobs works there as well. So in effect, Devo themselves made that ad.
posted by DecemberBoy at 5:20 PM on December 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


re joeclark's simpsons reference: go to minute 16:40.
posted by tits mcgee at 6:04 PM on December 10, 2008


I can't get that simpsons episode to work..
posted by Chuckles at 6:40 PM on December 10, 2008


So in effect, Devo themselves made that ad.

Thank you. I thought DEVO had a hand in the Target ads, but I wasn't sure and my connection was all weird. The on-the-edge winking in the first series of ads is just too big to ignore. Everyone! Is Smiling! So! Much!
posted by The Whelk at 7:22 PM on December 10, 2008


Grace Jones is 60.
posted by humannaire at 8:42 PM on December 10, 2008


Smartyboots, her version of La Vie En Rose is my favorite as well. That song just brings me to tears almost, every single time I listen to it, now almost 20 years later since I first heard it. It is absolutely soaring in its passion, and embodies the song in almost the perfect way. Say what you will about Grace Jones, but the woman has passion and really is an artist, and she can really sing.
posted by PigAlien at 9:06 PM on December 10, 2008


Aha, this is why it won't play.. They don't explain what I should do if I don't want to accept third party cookies though :P
posted by Chuckles at 9:16 PM on December 10, 2008


Grace is HOT, chocolate, or not. But whatever possessed that woman to train away her beautiful island accent?! With her accent, listening to her speak was a treat (and I resented that Bond flick for not giving her many spoken lines).

I don't quite comprehend why y'all find her scary. But then, as a gay man, I'll allow that it's odd I find her so (glances both ways, then whispers) attractive. I don't doubt these facts are related.
posted by Goofyy at 12:20 AM on December 11, 2008


I don't doubt these facts are related.

I dunno, I'm bi and she scares the bejesus out of me
Still, there is something about her...
posted by bouncebounce at 12:47 AM on December 11, 2008


The on-the-edge winking in the first series of ads is just too big to ignore. Everyone! Is Smiling! So! Much!

Every ad they do is subversive in some way or has more to it than meets the eye. They even put actual subliminal messages in some of their earliest ads which said "TRUST YOUR LEADERS" and stuff like that, just to see if they could get away with it. No one ever said anything about it. You can check out their demo reel on the website, which had some of the Target ads in it last time I watched it.

The Swiffer thing, on the other hand, they had very little to do with other than re-recording "Whip It". They signed one of those awful 70s/80s "you get all the fast cars and cocaine you want but no actual money or rights to your music" deals when they first signed with Warner and were 22 year old kids straight outta Akron, and thus have very few rights to their own music.

While we're at it, the Disney "Devo 2.0" thing, which a lot of people accuse them of being sellouts for, is probably the most in-line-with-their-ethos thing they've ever done. Gerry Casale was talking about how one day they'd just put a bunch of younger people in the costumes and call them Devo as long ago as the early 90s.
posted by DecemberBoy at 1:05 AM on December 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


I don't quite comprehend why y'all find her scary.

I pretty confident that in a sexual encounter with her I (a scrawny white boy) would not survive. Now, what I'm not sure about is if I would die in excrutiating pain or extacy, but I'm pretty sure I would die.
posted by Pollomacho at 5:08 AM on December 11, 2008


Wow, that last photo is choc full of power. . . like a cacao homage to Kunta Kinte; very jarring in the meta narrative of slavery, human trafficking and the sin of using people as objects.

HI I'M ON METAFILTER AND there's a rich interplay of historical considerations to reflect on in the story behind these processed BEANS
posted by kittyprecious at 9:04 AM on December 11, 2008


I have tickets to see her in January - I love her - Hugely under rated - nightclubbing is a great album with visuals to match.
She is very eloquent and charming when she wants to be in interviews.
posted by dprs75 at 9:45 AM on December 11, 2008


“but the man won a Fulbright scholarship to MIT and has a master's in chemical engineering”

Marisa Stole the Precious Thing - See, yeah. But that’s what I’ve kind of got against him. He is a smart man and really, he and I are a lot alike in many ways (well, I’m no Fulbright scholar). But he split from MIT to pursue this ‘acting’ career of his. I mean - wtf? Nothing wrong with acting per se. But it seems to me he’s in it just to make money or fufill some need for self-aggrandizement (from his roles).
I dunno, I suppose I had the same choices to make and I decided not to pursue money or fame. Maybe I’m not as gifted as he is (although pretty sure I could take him).
But really, I just hate to see wasted talent. He speaks a bunch of languages as well. Any number of things he could have done to make a difference in the world more than being a B level actor.
But I guess it’s his life.
He’s still crummy as an actor.

On the other hand, he dated Grace Jones.
posted by Smedleyman at 10:31 AM on December 11, 2008


...I just got a mental image of Dolph Lundgren eating Grace Jones' chocolate head. I'm thinking he'd start with the chin.
posted by Smedleyman at 11:05 AM on December 11, 2008


SCENE: The 1980s. I'm a teenager hanging out with a friend who has MTV, since my own home is cable-free and therefore torturous. Jones's cover of Demolition Man comes on.

Me: Who is she? She's totally awesome.

Friend: "She"? That's a guy.

Me: No, it says her name is Grace.

Friend: That's probably the name of the band. You know there's no one named "Pink" in Pink Floyd, right? Doy! Fer shurr.

Me: But she's wearing makeup and heels.

Friend: You sound like my mom insisting Boy George is a girl, too, 'cos of his braids and eyeshadow.

Me: I dunno, I'm sure she's a woman.

Grace Jones's jacket: opens all the way a couple minutes into the video, leaving her bare chest beneath undeniably visible

Me: Fuck! I guess you must be right. They couldn't show that if she was a woman, could they?

Friend: Nope. You're not missing that much without cable.

---

I still can't figure this one out, actually--the mystery of why Grace Jones's nipple was exposed on TV aeons before Janet Jackson's and no one, to my memory, said jack about it. Apparently if you subvert the dominant feminine paradigm enough, the FCC no longer considers your breasts to be breasts. Or perhaps even the FCC was too terrified of Jones's wrath to insist she put on a shirt.
posted by cirocco at 12:25 PM on December 11, 2008


He is a smart man and really, he and I are a lot alike in many ways (well, I’m no Fulbright scholar). But he split from MIT to pursue this ‘acting’ career of his. I mean - wtf? Nothing wrong with acting per se. But it seems to me he’s in it just to make money or fufill some need for self-aggrandizement (from his roles).

I don't know, I mean, he also had an extensive martial arts background before getting into acting. Who knows? Maybe the chemical engineering and MIT scholarship were pursued to please his family. Maybe making a living in something martial arts related was his dream all along. We don't know because we never asked him.

And besides, "I must break you"? That's like, the only part of Rocky IV that I remember.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:37 PM on December 11, 2008


Rocky trains by running up a snowy mountain. It's only like the best training montage evah!
posted by Artw at 3:10 PM on December 11, 2008


“We don't know because we never asked him.”

Yeah. It is his life. And it’s a good line. But I’m not going to forgive him for The Punisher.
(Also, I think Grace Jones would whip the snot out of me)
posted by Smedleyman at 3:24 PM on December 11, 2008


Ooh yeah! The Ivan Drago/Rocky training montage. How could I forget that?

Rocky twists back and forth with an ox yoke on his back, and Ivan receives an injection (typical pinkos!)
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:03 PM on December 11, 2008


Only down-to-earth folsky training and defeat the evil cheating soullessness of communism!
posted by Artw at 7:17 PM on December 11, 2008


SUGAR IS GOOD FOR YOU
posted by The Whelk at 8:30 PM on December 11, 2008


Respect Dolph Lundgren.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:11 AM on December 12, 2008


I still can't figure this one out, actually--the mystery of why Grace Jones's nipple was exposed on TV aeons before Janet Jackson's and no one, to my memory, said jack about it. Apparently if you subvert the dominant feminine paradigm enough, the FCC no longer considers your breasts to be breasts. Or perhaps even the FCC was too terrified of Jones's wrath to insist she put on a shirt.

Actually, you can put whatever you want on cable, it's up to the networks and providers to decide what's appropriate. Usually a network will decide to censor something for "family friendly" reasons but they won't get fined by the FCC I think.
posted by delmoi at 8:46 PM on December 12, 2008


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