Five fit, hairless Australian lads learn to surf

December 12, 2008 12:06 PM

Five fit, hairless Australian lads learn to surf. And they’re gay!

(Direct YouTube channel.) In Canada (homeland of two of these “Australians”), they’d be learning to play hockey. In Argentina, what – polo? In Monaco... equestrian? bobsleigh? (Soccer would, of course, be applicable almost everywhere.)

This seems to be another example of the now-decade-and-a-half-long effort to achieve détente between Sport and the Gays.

posted by joeclark (47 comments total)

That Brennan guy is hardly hairless. Also, mostly not "boys" per se.

You can tell I am watching very closely.
posted by hermitosis at 12:18 PM on December 12, 2008 [1 favorite]

I was expecting some kids undergoing chemotherapy, or at least suffering alopecia or ectodermal dysplasia.
posted by dunkadunc at 12:21 PM on December 12, 2008 [1 favorite]

My money's on the volunteer lifeguard with the tight speedos.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:31 PM on December 12, 2008

Yes, Brennan appears to exhibit different levels of manscaping in different shots. Brennan, the people of MetaFilter demand an explanation.
posted by joeclark at 12:42 PM on December 12, 2008 [1 favorite]

..........bless you, joeclark. This is a good thing you've done, and you should feel good about yourself for doing it.

*returns to youtube channel*

what?
posted by Space Kitty at 12:46 PM on December 12, 2008

You need another hook, like they're from OUTER SPACE or something.

Gay Surfers From Outer Space! I see a musical.

OR! they all have superpowers, or some from broken homes, or BOTH. They can have big faces full of feelings and tender moments of ...tenderness. You'll get 140 million from 13-year old girls alone.

Of course, usually when I click on a video called "Gay Surfers", it's on a ...different site.
posted by The Whelk at 12:49 PM on December 12, 2008 [5 favorites]

See, dudes are objectified, too.
posted by batmonkey at 12:53 PM on December 12, 2008 [3 favorites]

Which one is UbuRoivas?
posted by desjardins at 1:00 PM on December 12, 2008

Lesson: gay men can be celebrated for defying stereotypes as long as they don't, y'know, actually defy stereotypes.

Where's the writeup on the fat, slovenly, hairy, heavy-metal-loving, canned-beer-drinking gay couple I knew when I was a teenager, huh??
posted by greenie2600 at 1:01 PM on December 12, 2008 [5 favorites]

You need another hook, like they're from OUTER SPACE or something.

It's a bit dry and needs some comedy or stolen boyfriends. They're cute, which goes far, but up to a point this becomes a beefcake shoot and not much more. Women did this idea better.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:02 PM on December 12, 2008

Greenie2600, you’re looking for “rugby.” This is “surfing.”
posted by joeclark at 1:10 PM on December 12, 2008 [4 favorites]

See, dudes are objectified, too.

Seeing all the posters outside the gay bar on my street really made me think about how I felt about the objectification of women- who the hell makes creepy, subservient facial expressions like that, anyway?

See Also.
posted by dunkadunc at 1:10 PM on December 12, 2008

This show is clearly inspired by the story about that mountain climber.
posted by hermitosis at 1:10 PM on December 12, 2008

Surf CAMP. I get it.
posted by WolfDaddy at 1:44 PM on December 12, 2008

Surf CAMP.

Only if they surfed in full drag.

Wait, I smell a spin-off.
posted by The Whelk at 1:49 PM on December 12, 2008

Where's the writeup on the fat, slovenly, hairy, heavy-metal-loving, canned-beer-drinking gay couple I knew when I was a teenager, huh??

Greenie2600 has outed herself as none other than SARAH SILVERMAN!

Um...be my friend?

(Actually, as a pasty-hairy-video-game-playing-classical-musician gay, I appreciate the sentiment.)
posted by greekphilosophy at 2:19 PM on December 12, 2008

I have to go... umm... "wax my board" now...
posted by not_on_display at 2:29 PM on December 12, 2008 [2 favorites]

cant ... stop .. laughing ...
posted by liza at 2:38 PM on December 12, 2008

Which one is UbuRoivas?

the hot one, duh.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:53 PM on December 12, 2008 [1 favorite]

Where's the writeup on the fat, slovenly, hairy, heavy-metal-loving, canned-beer-drinking gay couple I knew when I was a teenager, huh??

don't be stupid. bears can't surf.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:54 PM on December 12, 2008 [2 favorites]

hey, they're all goofyfooters! who'da thought that?

either that, or the instructor set them up for a fall. right-handers usually surf with their left foot forward, but the instructor was teaching them the opposite. and it's not like they reversed the shot in studio - that was North Bondi in the background.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:10 PM on December 12, 2008

Ya know, seeing as I'm all gay and stuff, I've totally missed the gay-identity-based TV wave. I was pissed that the production for the American version of Queer as Folk was constantly blocking my street or telling me I couldn't walk to the grocery store because they needed a clear shot. So I only saw the occasional episode and never got into it. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy was amusing when I stumbled across it on TV, but I hardly went out of my way to watch it. Don't get me started about Will & Grace. And, well, since then I haven't really gone out of my way to watch shows that prominently feature gay characters or sexuality-based reality TV (unless Xander from Drawn Together counts).

I can't shake the feeling that one day I'll be stripped of my homo credentials or something.
posted by LMGM at 3:17 PM on December 12, 2008 [2 favorites]

Wait, I smell a spin-off.

Ha! Sorry.
posted by gummi at 3:20 PM on December 12, 2008

Ya know, seeing as I'm all gay and stuff

[chokes on popcorn laughing]
posted by greenie2600 at 3:28 PM on December 12, 2008

fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 3:37 PM on December 12, 2008

my vote is for Ben, the chef who became a physical therapist. quite, cute, intelligent. *sigh*
posted by kuppajava at 3:45 PM on December 12, 2008

d'oh... quite = quiet.

oh yeah, and ryan is a total tool. ugh. he gets my vote for getting bonked ... with a surfboard to the top of the head
posted by kuppajava at 3:46 PM on December 12, 2008

This seems to be another example of the now-decade-and-a-half-long effort to achieve détente between Sport and the Gays.

Outsports.com.
posted by ericb at 4:22 PM on December 12, 2008

Speaking of Australia and watersports (heh):

Gold Medalist Diver Matthew Mitcham Named the 2008 Sports Performer of the Year; To Lead 2009 Mardi Gras Parade.

posted by ericb at 4:27 PM on December 12, 2008

Matthew Mitcham is the future (other)Mr DNAB.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 4:29 PM on December 12, 2008

don't be stupid. bears can't surf.

Some can. Others try.
posted by ericb at 4:41 PM on December 12, 2008 [1 favorite]

Matthew Mitcham is the future (other)Mr DNAB.

Get in line.
posted by ericb at 4:41 PM on December 12, 2008

hehe - it was so funny on breakfast TV, when the anchors were interviewing Matthew Mitcham the morning after he won that award. they were doing their best to be all PC & tiptoe around his sexuality: "it's especially great how the Australian public voted you #1, because of your, um, the support that they've shown for, er, how you've been so public about your, um, lifestyle..."

and it was like HEY GUYS THERE'S A GREAT BIG ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM JUST IN FRONT OF YOU AND IT'S PINK.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:48 PM on December 12, 2008

greekphilosophy: as a pasty-hairy-video-game-playing-classical-musician gay

[swoon]
posted by heeeraldo at 4:53 PM on December 12, 2008

Matthew Mitcham is the future (other)Mr DNAB.

oh, shall i break the news to Igors, then?
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:57 PM on December 12, 2008

Funny, a friend of mine is moving to Australia in a couple months, I was telling him there's gonna be all these cute surfer boys with adorable accents... Then this pops up.
Cute, outgoing, dancing, self obsessed and hairless; but totally defying the stereotype by surfing/doing something other than dancing and looking fabulous. *gag*

I'm so torn between stuff like this that tell me what a 20-something gay man is "suppose to be" versus what I actually want in a guy... Leading to a viscous pendulum that swings between me being a smooth lil party boy and a fuzzy chested geek.
posted by kzin602 at 5:10 PM on December 12, 2008

Up next, five fit, hairless Australian gay lads learn to [everyday activity]!!!

I mean, really, whats next? "Hot studs learning to spell!"? "Muscle boys learn how to count!"? It's like sesame street for twinks or something.
posted by Avenger at 5:16 PM on December 12, 2008 [5 favorites]

but totally defying the stereotype by surfing/doing something other than dancing and looking fabulous.

Surfing is closely related to dancing/gymnastics, even just in balance, and it looks very fabulous. Althetic and self-obsessed are more or less the norm. These boys give me a big floppy rubber one.

"Muscle boys learn how to count!"?

Well, they can count reps. That's usually enough


Everybody Loves A Muscle Boy
posted by The Whelk at 6:12 PM on December 12, 2008

I suppose "Hot studs do the dishes" doesn't have the same appeal for gay men as it does for straight women, does it?
posted by desjardins at 6:16 PM on December 12, 2008

"Hot studs in Hot Suds!"

I can see it. Call up Lucas Entertainment. We'll call it "The Houseboy."
posted by The Whelk at 6:18 PM on December 12, 2008

I'd hit watch that.
posted by desjardins at 6:19 PM on December 12, 2008

The Whelk: "Hot studs in Hot Suds!"

I can see it. Call up Lucas Entertainment. We'll call it "The Houseboy."

Someone called and wants to sue. [[NSFW!!!]]
posted by not_on_display at 6:35 PM on December 12, 2008

BoyGayzone
posted by hermitosis at 6:37 PM on December 12, 2008

not_on_display: You're going to have to explain a few things in your browser history to Jessamyn. More than a few things.
posted by The Whelk at 6:38 PM on December 12, 2008

Get in line.

I will take you down.

oh, shall i break the news to Igors, then?

Naa, he'll be my nice bit o'stuff on the side, in rotation with Nathan Gafuik (bestill my beating heart) and Fabian Hambuschen (bestill my..er...)
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 7:15 PM on December 12, 2008

but totally defying the stereotype by surfing/doing something other than dancing and looking fabulous.

idunno, lifesavers are very much a gay icon; probably none moreso than bondi lifesavers.

in other news - did everybody see the traditional surfboat in the video clip? four guys rowing out into the waves? for practical purposes, they've been replaced by motorised rubber craft these days, but they still play an important part in the competitions between surf lifesaving clubs.

back in my time when i was rowing traditional racing shells on sydney's waterways, our coach organised through contacts at the surf lifesaving club for us to row one of those fuckers in the surf. we managed to sink it under a huge wave on the way back in, but that just meant we had to drag it up onto the beach, full of water, and empty it out.

where was i going with this? oh, that's right. unlike flatwater racing boats, where you slide backwards & forwards on little wheeled seats on rails, in the surfboats you slide back & forth on the surf-wettened seat on your arse. this means you've gotta hitch the back of your budgie-smugglers up into your arsecrack like a g-string, so your buttocks slide better on the seat.

just a bit of downunder trivia for youse all.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:33 PM on December 12, 2008 [1 favorite]

Mmmm, g-string trivia.... *homerdrool*
posted by greekphilosophy at 9:20 AM on December 15, 2008